We read the prologue (yes, the entire prologue) of AMoL and talk about pacing and heroism, plus Sally's Psychic Powers, Rand's Tibetan Sky Burial, New Sword Move: Piss Your Pants, the Sequel to "The Village," and the Myrddraal Breakroom.

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We finish up ToM with celebrations of Gawyn's Puka Shell Necklace, Pevara's Hut, the Tower of Ghenjei Locksmith, Graendal's Turbo Hell, and Olver's Mail Fraud, while condemning how ultimately pointless Moiraine's "death" was.

Welcome to the Tower of Ghenjei! Is that David Bowie? For ch. 53–55, we talk about the Need to Be Told "No," Gay Old Dens, Helm's Deep Recruitment, the Finn Serving You-Know-What, Dune Box Mist, and Melodramatic Screaming.

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For ch. 50–52, we talk about Elayne's Bobby Fischer Political Move, her Pet Frenchmen, Libel/Slander Against Lews Therin, the Little Sun Tzu in Emily's Brain, Uber Driver Perrin, and B. Sanderson's Inversion of Terry Pratchett's "Boots Theory."

You know, like balefire, from their eyeballs? Like laser vision? Anyway. For ch. 48–49 we discuss how Everything is the Aiel's Fault, Rand's Mega Sperm, Asmodean Moiraine, and the Cowboy Lightbringers.

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Ch. 45–47 are great for representation: representation of insufferable politicians (Elayne), men who wear unnecessary disguises (Galad), "cool" nerds (Androl), men who hate the club (Perrin), and people who should just be murdered (Mazrim Taim, Tuon).

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Who wants to bet on whether this title ends up censored? For ch. 42–44, we talk about Feelings Impermanence, Marriage Bumpers, Prince Loser, the New Kardashians, and Failed Nostalgia.

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Despite the title, ch. 39–41 are action-packed (though sadly there is no battlefield kissing). Discussion includes: We Need More Explosions, Getting Right with God, IKEA Pack-It-Up Forges, Galad's Deprogramming, and Who Is Nakomi Plaza?

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RIP to a (arguably the only) real one. For ch. 36–38, we talk about how Perrin Is a Mary Sue; we accompany Egg to a Work Meeting; someone floats on the ceiling Mary Winchester-Style; and we discuss the fantasy Ethics of Killing.

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This isn't the trial of the century, the year, or even the minute, but it's a trial. For ch. 34–35, we talk about Dannil the Danimal, Mr. Integrity, "Bad Apple" Byar, the False Good/Evil Dichotomy, and ask: Where Are the Lawyers?