Everything is Always Terrible

This episode's guest is Ryan Farrell, a longtime friend and former punk rock drummer.

Ryan and I have been close for over two decades. He's a person I care about. Deeply. He's also a person whose life choices have often left me flummoxed. How does someone achieve a dream, then give it up and start again from scratch? Why would a person do that, unless it were absolutely necessary? What happens when you get exactly what you always wanted, then realize it wasn't what you wanted at all?

Ryan and I talked about growing up in the South Bay in the early 90's, punk rock music, playing in an all-child band, Guttermouth, kick-punch dancing, graciously giving up your dreams, broken hearts, hate as a motivating force, existential crises, drug use, and wrapping your fingers around a moment and holding on as long as you can.

Alex Haro is a formerly homeless immigrant living under an assumed name in the Malibu Hills where he runs a welfare state for feral raccoons and Mexican dogs.

He is also the senior editor of the world's largest surf website, the inertia.

Alex is charming, witty, intelligent, handsome. He's also Canadian. But no one is perfect.

Alex and I spent two hours talking about long distance relationships, feral raccoon attacks, immigration, being a little bit racist, projecting an air of confidence, bullshitting your way through every aspect of your life, online stalkers, drowning kittens, the inertia, the advantages of being attractive, the time I unknowingly attempted to kill Zach Weisberg, and many, many, more fascinating topics.

Episode 14 features Australian surf journalist Nick Carroll.

Nick Carroll, also known as 'Tom's brother,' is a surfing institution. He's been scribbling words about our terrible and wonderful sport for decades. As long as I've been alive, which is easy to forget because he's one of those humans who seem perpetually youthful. Frustratingly so. There's little worse than a man on the cusp of sixty who looks better than me with his shirt off.

Nick and I rambled on for an hour and a half about myriad topics. I barely looked at my notes this time, something I'm finding is a hallmark of a good episode. Back and forth banter plays so much better than question/answer.

Nick and I talked about the surf world's hatred of Brazilians, the WSL vanilla imperative, white privilege, gender dynamics, the female competitive drive, chasing a toxic fantasy, lying about your height, maintaining a lifelong love of surfing, surf culture, snorting coke, smoking dope, and having sex with a wide range of women.

Episode thirteen features graphic design legend David Carson.

Is there a more influential graphic designer than Mr Carson? I don't think so. He's the subject of many a college curriculum, possesses a unique, and frequently copied, personal style. He's built worldwide advertising campaigns, challenged perceptions of the purpose of typography, and been more than one writer's nightmare.

We talked about his career, and how he went from being a high school teacher with a degree in sociology and no background in design to a highly respected, and insanely successful, graphic designer. We also talked about fatherhood, the cost of settling down, receiving hate mail, embracing self indulgent creativity, the golden age of magazines, zine culture, the end of print as a medium, his time at Surfer Magazine, and the inherent conservatism of surf culture.

My guest for episode twelve is Derek LeVault. If you spearfish or freedive in Hawaii you most likely know his name. Derek's a high level spearo and freediver. He produces Deeper Perspectives, a top notch video series analyzing spearfishing technique and equipment. He is also the proprietor of Hi Heat wetsuits, producing amazing handmade wetsuits at prices that are somehow lower than the mass produced stuff.

Derek and I spent our time talking about spearfishing, freediving, mermaids, mermen, the Scissor Sisters, wetsuit technology, static apnea, cheating within professional spearfishing tournaments.

We also touched on the effects that a childhood spent moving from place to place have on others' ability to identify with you, the motivations behind a sport which is often little more than attempting suicide, meditation, and the difficulty of monetizing creative endeavors.

Episode 11 brings us Danny Johnson, art director of Surfing World and the one man show behind my favorite weekly surf content, Weak Wrap.

Danny is a funny guy, a creative guy, a handsome guy. He's got a gorgeous voice, does what he loves. I hate him for it, just a little bit.

But it's well outweighed by my love for him. I spent an amazing two hours chatting with Danny about all manner of things. The viability of the World Surf League, the recent changes on the Big Wave Tour. We talked about creating Weak Wrap, the stress that it causes and the fulfillment he gets from it. We yammered on about creating things meant for public consumption, Donald Trump, sex with a black girl, Portland, jealousy, open relationships, Exploding dicks, touching other people's dicks, lesbian domination porn, hydrofoil surfboards, Kelly Slater's supposedly forthcoming wave pool in Florida, fist fighting your partner, and the emotional struggles that spring from parental abandonment.

Ten Episodes in the can! Hurrah!

This installment brings us another delightful chat with Cori Schumacher.

We talked about her experiences as a newly minted political force, about divisions within the Democrat Party. We chatted about effective approaches to rhetoric, the consequences of playing the demagogue, and a path out of our current predicament.

We also talked about the Cartel Management bankruptcy, smoking weed with my grandma, recording yourself while you're on drugs, antifa, violence, and attempting to create a dialogue during divisive times.

Episode nine brings us stand up comedian/writer/producer/late-in-life surfer, Eddie Ifft.

This episode was particularly fun for me. Turns out that people who talk for a living are great guests. Who knew?

Eddie and I talked about his agonizing Surfer Poll set, Donald Trump, our differing views on 'PC culture,' cheating on your wife, parenthood, group sex, smoking crack, learning to surf, surfing's near total lack of a sense of humor, and many many other interesting topics.

While none of my past episodes are exactly 'clean,' this one is particularly not-safe-for-work. Probably best to listen at home, or through a pair of headphones.

You can find out more about Mr Ifft's various projects at eddieifft.com

Episode eight brings us Cameron Kirkconnell. Master mariner, professional spearfisherman, guide, freediver, father, husband, hunter, waterman.

So many awesome words you can use to describe the guy.

Cameron and I touched on a million subjects. Fatherhood, working as a spearfishing guide, the time he speared his friend in order to save his life. Competitive spearfishing, the never ending battle between spearos and scuba dudes and committed freedivers. The majesty of the ocean, the rewards of dedicating your life to learning how to navigate your way through it. Near death experiences and fear and overcoming mental adversity.

Enjoy.

Episode seven of Everything is Always Terrible features Cori Schumacher! Former ASP 'CT campaigner, three time ASP women's longboard champ, activist, politician, open and honest and such a joy to engage.

I've been a longtime fan of Cori's writing and was beyond stoked to have her as a guest. She's an open, honest, earnest, human being. Willing to discuss her struggles, not afraid to paint a target on her own back. There aren't many people like her in the world. Even fewer within surfing.

Cori and I covered a lot of ground. We talked about her devoutly religious upbringing, how her parents' divorce shattered her world. We talked about her time on Tour, how it all fell apart when she was unable to cope with the darker side of achieving a dream. We talked about her competing with her mother, the costs and rewards of discovering her sexuality.

We also talked about politics, the bright orange freak with tiny hands who's about to be president, the hyper-sexualization of modern female professional surfing, modern notions of acceptable speech, running for public office and much, much, more.