Everything is Always Terrible

I enjoy screwing with phone scammers. This time I had my recording stuff at handwhen he called.

I put a lot of effort into this podcast. I was proud of it.

Then I sent it to my good friend, former guest, and talented producer, Ryan Farrell.

He polished it to a shine.

It's the story of Junny Rio-Martinez. It is dark It is cruel. It is sad.

It is the truth. I'm sorry you've listened.

Matt Warshaw is surfing's historian.

He's a man who knows more about our favorite little hobby than any human alive. He's dedicated to saving its moments, preserving a rich heritage full of flawed individuals. He surfs very well, writes even better. Matt Warshaw is a man I look up to.

Having him on the show has been a long time dream. I've pestered him off and on since the beginning, always hoping that something would change and force him to play along.

That something was his campaign to keep the Encyclopedia of Surfing alive. A necessary fundraiser forced him to come to terms with his fear of public speaking, and I got to reap the benefits.

Episode 24 is the very talented young writer, Jake Tellkamp.

Jake's a fascinating young man. Upbeat in the face of adversity, dead set on making this writing gig work. He has the talent, he's backing it up with an education, I'm sure he'll one day put me out of a job.

I think I might try to get Jake to come on more often. He plays the foil so well. Understands that there is little I love more than answering questions, rather than asking.

He's traveled the world. He lived with Tom fucking Curren! He followed the love of his life to San Francisco, is chasing more education. And! To top it all off, he absolutely fucking rips.

Episode 23 is newly minted editor-in-chief of Stab Magazine, Ashton Goggans.

Isn't that a cool name? Try saying it. Ashton. Goggans. So much fun!

Ashton is a rad guy, a talented writer, and I can't overstate how much I enjoy the direction he's taking the magazine.

We talked about smoking weed, surfing longboards, wave pools, the WSL's relationship with the surf media, gay surfers, women in surfing, opioid addiction, Mailbu, and much, much more.

Episode 21 is Justin Cote, former editor of Transworld Surf and current marketing honcho at Superbrand surfboards.

Justin and I shot the shit about all manner of things. From spearfishing to fatherhood to living on an Indian reservation. We talked about balancing soft goods with hard, about the future of the WSL, about the death of print. Growing older and fatter, meeting your childhood idols, far-right beliefs, being held accountable for your speech, getting naked in front of sixteen-year-old girls and his brief tenure as a substitute teacher in Hawaii's public school system.

Episode twenty is Zach Weisberg, founder of The Inertia.

In addition to running one of the world's largest surf websites, Zach is a former bouncer, alumnus of a fancy pants East Coast boarding school, and diabetic. He is also a former collegiate wrestler, which means he definitely harbors some esoteric form of herpes.

We rambled on about anti-semitism, whether the surf media has a duty to report or to promote, surfing dogs, pooping your pants, the worthlessness of abstract beauty,Stephen Miller, Lunada Bay, Orange County trash, the sanctity of surfing, hedonism and the id, and a whole lot more super cool interesting stuff.

Episode 19 is Wade 'Gravy' Davis.

Former editor of Australian Surfing Life, current host of 50 Fiestas, Wade's what I want in a guest. Eloquent, funny, intelligent. He has a beautiful voice. Not as beautiful as mine, but close.

We talked about his new project, 50 Fiestas, the grind of travel, animal cruelty, racism, white privilege, US politics, moving into a life beyond surfing, growing up brown in Australia and a bazillion other totally rad things.

Episode 18 is Ben "Gravy" Graef.

Ben is a vlogger, novelty wave pioneer, upbeat drama kid, and all around friendly dude.

We talked about teenage cock and ball torture, sex work, anxiety, alcoholism, setting goals and eating defeat, sucking Slater's dick, the struggles of producing daily content, how little other people care about you, presenting a facade, being home schooled, selling a pilot and having it ripped away, and a lot of other fun stuff.

Episode seventeen brings us my favorite former ASP surfer, former World longboard champion, LGBT activist, and Carlsbad city council member, Cori Schumacher.

I can't get enough of Cori. I adore our rapport, love going back and forth with a person with whom I agree on the ends, but always differ on the means.

Cori and I talked about Infighting within the Democratic Party, focusing on local politics, polyamory, whether turnabout is fair play, political apathy as a response to the disgusting nature of politics, when it becomes time to shut your mouth and get in line, feminism, white privilege, and many more brilliant topics that are sure to enrage a certain portion of the population.