Everything is Always Terrible

Here comes episode six of Everything is Always Terrible!

Our guest this installment is another BeachGrit commenter, Seas nail. He lives a short drive north of me, came across as an interesting cat. I figured, why not? Dude has some rad stories and it'd give me a chance to try out recording live, rather than via skype.

Which, of course, I nearly botched. The first ten minutes of audio aren't the best. But I noticed that all my settings were fucked, switched it up, and things get better. It's not like the first part is painful or anything, just a little distortion. No big deal.

We talked about all sorts of neat stuff. Living rough on the Napali Coast. Psychotropic drugs. Clueless tourists trying to go native. The nature of reality, man. Following a girlfriend halfway around the world. World Surf League corruption. Election coverage. John John Florence. And more!

I'm very pleased with this episode. Homeboy is an interesting weirdo. The best type of person, in my book.

Episode Five of Everything is Always Terrible features none other than the superb Ms Anastasia Ashley.

Semi-professional surfer, successful model, social media superstar, Ms Ashley is a fascinating woman. Despite a public persona that tends toward the happy-go-lucky-beach-babe, it is immediately apparent that she is anything but.

Anastasia is a driven woman. Totally focused on her success and career, to the exclusion of almost everything else. I would never trade lives with Anastasia Ashley. Success is honorable, and nothing good comes easy. But at a certain point I feel the price becomes too high.

I went in to this expecting to speak with an intelligent woman. I was not expecting to speak with a woman in possession of a single minded drive toward her goals. Anastasia sells her persona well.

Over the course of an hour we touched on surfing big waves, her near total lack of a private life, stalkers, sexy sexy John John Florence, butt callouses, sexuality in women's surfing, and the high high high price of fame.

This episode is a bit of a shift in format. No interview, just me and a BeachGrit commenter chatting about stuff. Some of it's fun, some of it is not.

We talked about the suicide and depression. A bit of a hot topic for me recently. Very strange to have someone you share a name with commit suicide. Very surreal to have Kelly Slater announce your death on the WSL webcast.

We talked about lighter fare. Judging at Trestles, the hoopla surrounding it. We talked about the female side of the tour. We discussed the WSL's recent decision to allow their competitors to enter the Titans of Mavericks, sans WSL sanction.

We talked about sucking magic cocks.

The third instalment brings us the Richie 'Vas' Vaculik. Slab rider, professional MMA fighter, former ne'er-do-well.

Richie's one of those people who played it fast and loose during his youth, until severe consequences reared their ugly head. Pretty typical, most of us don't possess much foresight during our early years. Ask a teenager why they did something stupid and you'll almost always get a sullen, "I don't know."

Nowadays Richie is a more level headed individual. Heaving himself into hideous slabs, competing at the top level of the MMA featherweight division, still laying carpet in his free time. Hard worker, hard charger. He trains and spearfishes, chases his dreams.

The noted writer and broadcaster Rory Parker's series of interviews taken in his Kauai studio. The second installment brings us Brandon Campbell, better known to the world as Laserwolf. He's a rare breed, a high-talent surfer who built a thriving surf photography career in an astonishingly short period of time. Laserwolf lives year-round on the Seven Mile Miracle. He plays with classic cars, charges huge waves, lives a life the likes of which most can only dream. We chatted about growing up in Florida, being a single father, his rather speedy rise to success, the importance of the hustle, good branding, the necessity of a strong social media presence, North Shore cults, French Bulldogs, politics, and loads of other fascinating things.

First episode features Dave Wassel. I love Dave. Everyone loves Dave. He's the type of surfer we all want to be. The type of man we all want to be. He's funny and eloquent and intelligent and an absolute joy to speak with. Give it a listen.