EvesDropping

Emily & Meg discuss their resistance to their feelings of letting go. They talk about how the mind wants to repress, suppress, deny, or make stories up about why certain feelings are there and how they are working on letting go.

“The emotions that we all feel can be calibrated numerically on a vibrational scale - the highest one isn’t love, it’s peace. The lowest one isn’t fear, it’s shame.”

“When you do deep healing, a lot of times you can’t find the stories again, but let it go. Don’t even fucking try to remember the stories.”

“What is the payoff from this story? Is that payoff/vanity keeping me in the story?”

“In a ‘desire/craving’ state, we are operating in a lack state, not a relaxed and trusting state.”

“Surrender is simply- it is ok if it happens and it is ok if it doesn’t.”

“You can’t stop others from hurting by hurting yourself for them. There is no value in that.”

References from the episode:

Heal (Netflix Documentary) Featuring – Deepak Chopra, Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, Dr. Mark Hyman, Dr. Shefali Tsabary

Married at First Sight

Oprah

For further exploration, we loved this book:

Letting Go - The Pathway to Surrender by David Hawkins

Original Art by Meg Miller

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*Trigger Warning: CHILD ABUSE

Emily & Meg talk through how they recognize they are ready to shift and transform to the next level. Meg opens up about her childhood and how her past shows up in her life today, even though she has done the work on healing this trauma for years.

“There are signs that you are being called to transform to the next level - like shedding clothes that no longer fit you. You may have this urge to clean out your closet."

“When I start crying that deep sadness, I let myself go there. It’s like taking a shower from the inside out.”

“You are not responsible for the hurt that was put on you, but you are responsible for healing yourself from it.”

“The perpetrator is in me, so the healer must be in me too. Otherwise, I am going to carry this pain around with me for the rest of my life."

“We might avoid transformation because this is hard stuff.  That’s why we avoid it. It brings us stuff that we have pushed away for so long.”

References from the episode:

The Silence of the Lambs

Mark Manson

Fierce Compassion

For further exploration, we loved this book:

Loving Bravely by Alexandra H. Soloman, PhD

Original Art by Meg Miller

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Emily & Meg explore what is at the root of toxic relationships. They examine why they feel a pull toward them in their personal life and the two tips they use to recognize when they are dealing with a toxic person: tuning in to our bodies after an interchange & journaling the objective facts and the “story” I have created about this person/relationship.

“We all have traits of these toxic patterns within us. But the difference is that we are self-aware and curious about them.”

“What you didn’t get from your parents, the ways we didn’t get witnessed by them, we now seek in our partner.”

“It feels like me grasping instead of being in my power.”

“Sometimes we meet toxic people in life who teach us lessons, depending on how self-aware we are. Then it's time to move on"

“We are actually two people - the child within and the parent. We now have the power to get out of our victim/story mode”

“If you check-in with yourself after an interaction and you feel drained, exhausted, or polluted, that’s a sign you just had a toxic interchange.”

“If I just study more, read more, it becomes a protection measure and another perfectionistic tendency….it’s a self-correcting tendency, which blocks us from tuning in.”

“We are primed by movies and the cultural implications of those and we grow up to think about toxic foreplay as romantic.”

“Seeking what we need from the wrong people is due to something in us we need to heal. What is the original source of that drive?"

“Maybe you aren’t a ‘loser’ because you attract toxic relationships. It might be that you are amazing at relationships. It’s not just as simple as: you want something from them emotionally. They want something from you, too"

“I am going to look at my responsibility and see if i can change the dynamic. But sometimes you have to just get the f*ck away from these people without feeling guilty.”

“As soon as the word ‘should’ comes out of your mouth, then you know you "should" be checking-in with yourself.”

“Instead of saying ‘should’ say ‘could.’”

References from the episode:

“Opposites Attract” by Paula Abdul

“Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places” by Johnny Lee

Nicola Tesla

Inner Bonding

Epigenetics

Bonobos Monkeys

Tyler Shulz

“Tricky” by RunDMC

For further exploration, we loved this book:

The Highly Sensitive Person's Guide to Dealing with Toxic People: How to Reclaim Your Power from Narcissists and Other Manipulators by Shahida Arabi, MA

Original Art by Meg Miller

Emily & Meg explore their internalized beliefs around the religion of their youth, how they connect to their spirituality now, and wonder how life would be different if we had balancing female imagery for God. 

“Santa Claus, God, and The President”

“I was raised with my religion telling me how to think about God. It didn’t work for me.”

“What if young Mary held a baby girl?”

“There really are no rules. Religion tells us how to relate to God, but it’s really a personal relationship.”

“We ignore our natural intelligence and allow it to be controlled and corrupted.”

“You have to see it to be it.”

“We just accept things instead of examining these hand-me-down beliefs.”

“How does our natural intelligence relate to finding our spirituality?”

“If we were to surrender, it would open up the pathway to a higher power.”

“Are psychedelics being pushed as the next ritual for us to connect spiritually?”

“We are talking about Spirituality, which is subjective, versus organized religion, which is a prescribed way to make you feel spiritual.”

References from the episode:

Girl God Books

Indiana Jones

The Holy Bible by Adam Broomberg & Oliver Chanarin

Notre Dame

Damien Hirst

Genesis 3:16

Liquid Geography Wine

For further exploration, we loved this book:

The Dance of the Dissident Daughter - A Woman's Journey from Christian Tradition to the Sacred Feminine by Sue Monk Kidd

Emily & Meg explore the pushback of asserting ourselves/telling our truth unapologetically and analyze what “bitch” really means. They examine what surrender means, how they use it in their life, and how perfectionism plays a role in the illusion of control.

“Can we let go of that worry because it compromises our authenticity, and when we care more about the outcome, and what they think of us. We care more about being defensive and protective instead of telling our truth.”

“A lot of people see surrender as giving up or relinquishing control.”

“When we surrender, we get better guidance about what steps we should take. Surrendering is clearing the path for ourselves to get clarity, serenity, and just not feel all the triggers all the time.”

“Suffering makes us into a seeker.”

“The magic drops in when we surrender into the unknown, into not having all the answers.”

“When you surrender, how does it feel in your body? There is lightness in the unknown.”

“Is there a reason for everything or do I make stories fit in hindsight?”

“We are all manifestations of God, so when we surrender, we tap into that higher power within us. It’s such a powerful FORCE.”

References:

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

Star Wars

For further exploration, we loved this book:

The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer

Emily & Meg share how confusing it is to set boundaries when they weren't used to using them, what to expect from themselves and others when they do set them, and how to read their bodies to recognize when they need a better boundary. 

“Boundaries are traffic signals to keep things moving freely, flowing, or yielding.”

“Two factors that have to do with healthy boundaries: radical honesty and authority.”

“You need clarity with who you are, what you deserve...what your worth is to have authority, to not give your power away.”

“We want them to be who WE want them to be instead of who they ACTUALLY are. This requires honesty with OURSELVES.”

“When you stop giving so much, you open up space to receive.”

“Expect disruption in relationships where you change your boundaries. Prepare for the pushback.”

“Our bodies are always telling us when we are off course.”

“The computer brain will try to keep us from making a hard decision.”

References in this episode:

Create The Love - Mark Groves

For further exploration, we loved this book:

Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab

Original Art by Meg Miller

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Emily & Meg explore their inner-critics and tips on how they practice self-love.

“I don’t know how this is going to be perceived but not my business.”

“The story I’m telling myself about what you said is this…”

“What story are you keeping alive right now? What are my stories that are causing my pain?”

"Men and women are taught different rules about failing."

“Is my niceness used to manipulate others’ perception of me?”

“Am I chasing my self-worth or is this choice rooted in my self-worth?”

"How can my privilege be used in service to others?"

“Did I give you an erection, Emily?”

“The Guru is you.”

References from the episode:

The Social Dilemma Movie

Byron Katie - How to Do the Work

For further exploration, we loved this book:

The Inner Bonding Workbook by Margaret Paul

Please laugh with us. 

Emily & Meg host EvesDropping.

Emily is an English professor, blogger, writer, & mother. 

Meg is an Energy Healer, interior designer, artist & mother. 

Together, they process their most embarrassing secrets, juiciest revelations, & lightbulb moments on-air.