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Waiting to feel like it is quietly costing you your life. Bianca and Emilia break down why the belief that motivation has to arrive before you take action is one of the most damaging stories keeping people stuck, using a full gallon jug and a hand full of marbles to make the cost of "waiting" impossible to ignore.

In this episode, we unpack why waiting to feel like it is actually a perception problem wearing a feelings costume, why every minute spent waiting for motivation is a minute of your life you don't get back, and why identity, not inspiration, is what actually drives consistent behavior. Emilia and Bianca walk through why "fake it till you make it" is bullshit, what actually builds the kind of person who shows up anyway, and the one question to ask yourself about the cost of staying the same.

Here's a related episode that builds on today's conversation: #526 How Self-Disciplined Are You, Really? - https://open.spotify.com/episode/4XQm929yZSO34JXGr9mrzz?si=hSfEKWP1R1afIZAunXaVWg

Learn more about:

🤝 Out of the Mud (OOTM) - "Why Change Feels So Uncomfortable (Even When You Want It)" - https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/IykObX8eR7ixJaQ-qqZogw#/registration

📆 Evolve Group Coaching - https://evolveventurestech.com/evolve-group-coaching/

📽️ Insightful films. Meaningful growth. Join our Evolve Movie Club - https://forms.gle/bBZUbFEeD2ijypCT7

🌱 The #YouDoYou Therapy Program gives you support when and how you need it. No pressure. Just real help. Start your free 7-day trial today - https://buy.stripe.com/fZe8Avdfx8bW9gcfZc

Connect with Emilia, Bianca & the EVOLVE VENTURES Community:

Website: http://www.evolveventurestech.com

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/evolveventures/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/EvolveVenturesTech (Public Page)

Evolve Ventures Society (Private Facebook Group) -https://www.facebook.com/groups/457130589193794

Emilia's IG - https://www.instagram.com/evolvewithemilia/

Emilia's TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@evolvewithemilia

Bianca's IG - https://www.instagram.com/evolvewithbianca/

Bianca's TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@evolvewithbianca?_t=8gq3wqu4fAx&_r=1

Connect with Emilia from Evolve Ventures for FREE.

  https://calendly.com/emiliasmith/free-evp-communityconnect 

Show Notes: 

0:00 Why You’ll Never “Feel Like It”
0:15 Welcome to Evolve Ventures
1:45 Why Waiting for Motivation Is Costing You
3:38 The Real Reason We Procrastinate
5:12 Break the Problem Into Smaller Pieces
6:00 The Hidden Cost of Waiting
8:50 Motivation Usually Comes After Action
9:31 Why Motivation Has Become a Crutch
11:10 Identity Is More Powerful Than Motivation
13:27 Building a New Identity Through Action
14:37 Why Doing Hard Things Gets Easier
17:10 The Identity Conflict Holding You Back
18:05 “Fake It Till You Make It” Doesn’t Work
19:21 How You Actually Become That Person
20:01 Behavior Comes Before Confidence
20:33 Becoming Someone Who Does Hard Things
21:46 You Have to Do What You Don’t Want to Do
24:20 Ask Yourself: What Is the Cost of Staying the Same?
26:26 Stop Waiting for Feelings
27:25 Evolve Ventures Resources & Closing 

Leave them a 5-star review if you felt their energy, became inspired, or felt the value was added to your life in your EVOLUTION.

(Stay tuned for this coming Monday's episode!)

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Nobody teaches you what to say when someone cuts you down and smiles while doing it. In this episode, we unpack the psychology behind rude people, sarcasm, and microaggressions, why a dysregulated nervous system sits underneath almost all of it, and the four step formula you can actually reach for in the moment.

Emilia breaks down where your real training in this area came from: the family, culture, school, and social systems that quietly taught you what is acceptable to say and what you are allowed to say back. Bianca shares why believing everyone is inherently good can leave you defenseless, and opens up about a recent moment where she did not feel safe enough to use the very skills she teaches her own clients. Together they walk through pause, ask, share and set, and returning to your power, plus the identity beliefs that stop most people from ever using the tools at all. Fair warning, this one is explicit.

Here's a related episode that builds on today's conversation:
#426 | You Don't Need to Be the Boss to Change the Culture - https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/evolve-ventures/id1511831621?i=1000721917576

Learn more about:

🤝 Out of the Mud (OOTM) - "The Difference Between Avoidance and Self-Protection" - https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/IykObX8eR7ixJaQ-qqZogw#/registration

📆 Evolve Group Coaching - https://evolveventurestech.com/evolve-group-coaching/

📽️ Insightful films. Meaningful growth. Join our Evolve Movie Club - https://forms.gle/bBZUbFEeD2ijypCT7

🌱 The #YouDoYou Therapy Program gives you support when and how you need it. No pressure. Just real help. Start your free 7-day trial today - https://buy.stripe.com/fZe8Avdfx8bW9gcfZc

Connect with Emilia, Bianca & the EVOLVE VENTURES Community:

Website: http://www.evolveventurestech.com

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/evolveventures/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/EvolveVenturesTech (Public Page)

Evolve Ventures Society (Private Facebook Group) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/457130589193794

Emilia's IG - https://www.instagram.com/evolvewithemilia/

Emilia's TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@evolvewithemilia

Bianca's IG - https://www.instagram.com/evolvewithbianca/

Bianca's TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@evolvewithbianca?_t=8gq3wqu4fAx&_r=1

Connect with Emilia from Evolve Ventures for FREE:

https://calendly.com/emiliasmith/free-evp-communityconnect

Show notes:
 (0:00) Intro
 (2:19) Where you actually learned to handle rude people
 (4:07) The disservice of assuming everyone is good
 (5:23) None of this works without a regulated nervous system
 (8:40) Unconscious bias and where microaggressions come from
 (12:37) A workplace scenario to test yourself against
 (13:58) Bianca invites you to Out of the Mud, our free live virtual event hosted the last Wednesday of every month.
 (14:35) What panic does to your access to your tools
 (17:49) When a belief system becomes denial
 (19:29) Step one, pause
 (21:26) Step two, ask
 (23:05) Steps three and four, share, set, and return to your power
 (25:15) Outro

***Leave them a 5-star review if you felt their energy, became inspired, or felt the value was added to your life in your EVOLUTION. (Stay tuned for this coming Monday's episode!)

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The hardest truth in a relationship is usually the one nobody is willing to say out loud. In this episode, we unpack the taboo reality of growth orientation in intimate partnerships, why a partner who will not grow alongside you eventually becomes the ceiling on your own life, and why denial, delusion, and distancing are the three ways most people avoid seeing it.

We get into the narrative that says you are never supposed to judge your partner, and why that belief is quietly costing people decades. Judgment is not the problem. Unfair, harsh, and maladaptive judgment is. From there we look at what a partnership is actually for, whether it exists to reinforce who you already are or to challenge the growth edges of who you are becoming, and then break down the three specific areas where a non growth oriented partner holds you back: emotionally, socially, and psychologically.

Here's a related episode that builds on today's conversation:
#483 | How to Hold Two Truths at the Same Time - https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/evolve-ventures/id1511831621?i=1000752414280

Learn more about:

🤝 Out of the Mud (OOTM) - "The Difference Between Avoidance and Self-Protection" - https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/IykObX8eR7ixJaQ-qqZogw#/registration

📆 Evolve Group Coaching - https://evolveventurestech.com/evolve-group-coaching/

📽️ Insightful films. Meaningful growth. Join our Evolve Movie Club - https://forms.gle/bBZUbFEeD2ijypCT7

🌱 The #YouDoYou Therapy Program gives you support when and how you need it. No pressure. Just real help. Start your free 7-day trial today - https://buy.stripe.com/fZe8Avdfx8bW9gcfZc

Connect with Emilia, Bianca & the EVOLVE VENTURES Community:

Website: http://www.evolveventurestech.com
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/evolveventures/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/EvolveVenturesTech (Public Page)
Evolve Ventures Society (Private Facebook Group) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/457130589193794
Emilia's IG - https://www.instagram.com/evolvewithemilia/
Emilia's TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@evolvewithemilia
Bianca's IG - https://www.instagram.com/evolvewithbianca/
Bianca's TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@evolvewithbianca?_t=8gq3wqu4fAx&_r=1

Connect with Emilia from Evolve Ventures for FREE:
https://calendly.com/emiliasmith/free-evp-communityconnect

Show notes:
 (0:00) Intro
 (2:04) Why growth orientation sits at the center
 (2:59) Denial, delusion, and distancing
 (3:53) Is it wrong to judge your partner
 (4:37) Judgment as a relationship tool
 (5:39) The conversations that actually trigger growth
 (7:14) What a partnership is actually for
 (8:28) Am I more growth oriented than my partner
 (9:30) When your foundations do not match
 (10:41) Kayleigh talks about the supportive and caring environment within the Evolve Ventures team
 (11:28) The three ways your partner holds you back
 (12:50) Emotionally, the intimacy they cannot reach
 (14:42) Socially, the drama their lack of discernment creates
 (15:08) Psychologically, the flexibility they never built
 (15:42) Where to take this next
 (16:44) Outro

***Leave them a 5-star review if you felt their energy, became inspired, or felt the value was added to your life in your EVOLUTION.

(Stay tuned for this coming Monday's episode!)

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Chasing happiness is the fastest way to miss your life. In this episode, we unpack why so many of us keep entering new jobs, new relationships, and new purchases expecting them to finally fix us, and why that pattern quietly repeats for years without ever getting named. Bianca opens with a client conversation that required real candor, and Emilia takes it back to first principles: what happiness actually is by definition, why we have been sold the idea that it is the best thing to feel, and what it costs us to treat a passing emotion as a permanent state.

We get into the if-then narratives running underneath our decisions, the arrival fallacy, and the law of trade-offs. Emilia shares openly about a recent six-figure purchase and the values-based decision making behind it, and Bianca names the baseline sadness she has stopped apologizing for and started building her work on. The takeaway is not that you will never be happy. It is that grit, distress tolerance, and fulfillment are what actually build a life worth living, and happiness shows up as a byproduct along the way.

Here's a related episode that builds on today's conversation:
#428 | How to Create a Joy-Filled Life by Design, Not by Default - https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/evolve-ventures/id1511831621?i=1000722917711

Learn more about:

🤝 Out of the Mud (OOTM) - "The Difference Between Avoidance and Self-Protection" - https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/IykObX8eR7ixJaQ-qqZogw#/registration

📆 Evolve Group Coaching - https://evolveventurestech.com/evolve-group-coaching/

📽️ Insightful films. Meaningful growth. Join our Evolve Movie Club - https://forms.gle/bBZUbFEeD2ijypCT7

🌱 The #YouDoYou Therapy Program gives you support when and how you need it. No pressure. Just real help. Start your free 7-day trial today - https://buy.stripe.com/fZe8Avdfx8bW9gcfZc

Connect with Emilia, Bianca & the EVOLVE VENTURES Community:

Website: http://www.evolveventurestech.com
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/evolveventures/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/EvolveVenturesTech (Public Page)
Evolve Ventures Society (Private Facebook Group) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/457130589193794
Emilia's IG - https://www.instagram.com/evolvewithemilia/
Emilia's TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@evolvewithemilia
Bianca's IG - https://www.instagram.com/evolvewithbianca/
Bianca's TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@evolvewithbianca?_t=8gq3wqu4fAx&_r=1

Connect with Emilia from Evolve Ventures for FREE:
https://calendly.com/emiliasmith/free-evp-communityconnect

Show notes:
 (0:00) Intro
 (2:01) The client who cannot get out of his own way
 (6:20) First principles: why we chase happiness
 (8:45) What happiness actually means
 (11:36) Sold the narrative that happy equals better
 (14:46) If-then thinking and the arrival fallacy
 (17:05) Happiness as the anchor on the boat of life
 (18:53) Emilia invites listeners to Out of the Mud, the free live virtual event hosted on the last Wednesday of every month.
 (19:50) Sadness as the source of deeper connection
 (22:05) The truck purchase and the law of trade-offs
 (27:34) Chasing relief is costing you your life
 (30:42) Happiness as a byproduct, not a goal
 (33:23) Outro

***Leave them a 5-star review if you felt their energy, became inspired, or felt the value was added to your life in your EVOLUTION.

(Stay tuned for this coming Thursday's episode!)

Send us Fan Mail

Your list was never really about them. It was always about you.

In this episode, we unpack what dating standards actually reveal: the height requirement, the income bracket, the follower count, and the quiet belief underneath all of it that being chosen by the "right" person will finally make you feel worthy. We get into where these narratives come from, why low self worth gets externalized into requirements other people have to meet, the difference between a value and an insecurity wearing a value's clothing, and why so many people keep landing in the same relationship or no relationship at all. If you have ever pushed away someone good because they were available, this one is for you.

Here's a related episode that builds on today's conversation:
#494 | How To Set Goals In Therapy - https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/evolve-ventures/id1511831621?i=1000760417836

Learn more about:

🤝 Out of the Mud (OOTM) - "The Difference Between Avoidance and Self-Protection" - https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/IykObX8eR7ixJaQ-qqZogw#/registration

📆 Evolve Group Coaching - https://evolveventurestech.com/evolve-group-coaching/

📽️ Insightful films. Meaningful growth. Join our Evolve Movie Club - https://forms.gle/bBZUbFEeD2ijypCT7

🌱 The #YouDoYou Therapy Program gives you support when and how you need it. No pressure. Just real help. Start your free 7-day trial today - https://buy.stripe.com/fZe8Avdfx8bW9gcfZc

Connect with Emilia, Bianca & the EVOLVE VENTURES Community:

Website: http://www.evolveventurestech.com

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/evolveventures/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/EvolveVenturesTech (Public Page)

Evolve Ventures Society (Private Facebook Group) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/457130589193794

Emilia's IG - https://www.instagram.com/evolvewithemilia/

Emilia's TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@evolvewithemilia

Bianca's IG - https://www.instagram.com/evolvewithbianca/

Bianca's TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@evolvewithbianca?_t=8gq3wqu4fAx&_r=1

Connect with Emilia from Evolve Ventures for FREE:
https://calendly.com/emiliasmith/free-evp-communityconnect

Show notes:
 (0:00) Intro
 (1:30) Welcome to episode 532
 (2:05) The distorted checklist we call standards
 (3:04) A client who pushed away a good match
 (4:07) Where these narratives come from
 (6:13) Looking outward for worth you never built
 (7:26) Here's what Matthew has to say about the Evolve Ventures community and how it has helped in his journey
 (8:13) The pedestal and the celebrity you assign
 (8:53) Bianca on her own narrow standards
 (10:07) Auditing your standards through your nervous system
 (11:35) Wanting to feel good enough
 (12:19) Final thoughts and episode suggestion
 (13:06) Outro

***Leave them a 5-star review if you felt their energy, became inspired, or felt the value was added to your life in your EVOLUTION.

(Stay tuned for this coming Monday's episode!)

Send us Fan Mail

You are not thinking nearly as much as you think you are. In this episode, we unpack how inaccurate thinking quietly sabotages love, success, and money, and why so many of our "decisions" are really impulses absorbed from the people around us. Emilia and Bianca get into metacognition, cognitive appraisal, and the uncomfortable reality that most of us are running on autopilot while telling ourselves a story about how deliberate we are.

Bianca shares a client story that shows how an unexamined childhood pattern was still dictating his sleep two decades later, and Emilia walks through her denial framework, FREE for the four types of denial and HEAL for the antidote, because whatever you are denying you actively cannot improve. The conversation lands on humility as the greatest antidote to ignorance, and on the willingness to say "I don't know" as the entry point to better thinking.

Here's a related episode that builds on today's conversation:
#480 | Everything You Need For Real Self Belief, Part Two - https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/evolve-ventures/id1511831621?i=1000750453998

Learn more about:

🤝 Out of the Mud (OOTM) - "The Difference Between Avoidance and Self-Protection" - https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/IykObX8eR7ixJaQ-qqZogw#/registration

📆 Evolve Group Coaching - https://evolveventurestech.com/evolve-group-coaching/

📽️ Insightful films. Meaningful growth. Join our Evolve Movie Club - https://forms.gle/bBZUbFEeD2ijypCT7

🌱 The #YouDoYou Therapy Program gives you support when and how you need it. No pressure. Just real help. Start your free 7-day trial today - https://buy.stripe.com/fZe8Avdfx8bW9gcfZc

Connect with Emilia, Bianca & the EVOLVE VENTURES Community:
Website: http://www.evolveventurestech.com
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/evolveventures/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/EvolveVenturesTech (Public Page)
Evolve Ventures Society (Private Facebook Group) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/457130589193794
Emilia's IG - https://www.instagram.com/evolvewithemilia/
Emilia's TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@evolvewithemilia
Bianca's IG - https://www.instagram.com/evolvewithbianca/
Bianca's TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@evolvewithbianca?_t=8gq3wqu4fAx&_r=1

Connect with Emilia from Evolve Ventures for FREE:
https://calendly.com/emiliasmith/free-evp-communityconnect

Show notes:
 (0:00) Intro
 (1:30) Why rational thinking beats emotional reasoning
 (3:07) Nobody blames their own thinking patterns
 (4:55) Pure impulse, social influence, and the truck example
 (7:46) Metacognition, shame, and the thought record
 (8:48) The client who could not let himself sleep
 (11:21) Living on autopilot and sabotaging what you want
 (12:07) Do you actually believe what you believe
 (13:08) Out of the Mud is our free live virtual event on the last Wednesday of every month
 (13:46) Researching denial and why the brain defends autopilot
 (15:52) The FREE and HEAL framework for the four types of denial
 (21:34) Humility as the antidote to ignorance
 (23:23) Outro

***Leave them a 5-star review if you felt their energy, became inspired, or felt the value was added to your life in your EVOLUTION.

(Stay tuned for this coming Thursday's episode!)

Send us Fan Mail

Travel does not create the mess. It exposes what was never built.

In this episode, we unpack why leaving home your base wrecks sleep, goals, and self-trust for so many people, and what to do about it long before you pack a bag. Emilia breaks down a client who feared a bachelorette party would drag her back into old world, the grief of outgrowing a circle that does not share your values, and the We Travel checklists that turn every bad trip into a lesson instead of a loss. Bianca adds why the ability to advocate for yourself at 11 PM in a hotel lobby is built well before the trip starts, and why travel being your only reprieve deserves a much bigger conversation. We also walk a live example of naming your values, attaching standards to them, and rating your own mess level from zero to ten.

Here's a related episode that builds on today's conversation:
#511 | Why Alcohol Is an Easy Helper When You Are Stressed - https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/evolve-ventures/id1511831621?i=1000771646317

The Growth Journey graphic referenced in this video - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TjoFB6l-JBPkW2Pxf8GaYLQbJimvo_Ek/view?usp=drive_link

Learn more about:

🤝 Out of the Mud (OOTM) - "The Difference Between Avoidance and Self-Protection" - https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/IykObX8eR7ixJaQ-qqZogw#/registration

📆 Evolve Group Coaching - https://evolveventurestech.com/evolve-group-coaching/

📽️ Insightful films. Meaningful growth. Join our Evolve Movie Club - https://forms.gle/bBZUbFEeD2ijypCT7

🌱 The #YouDoYou Therapy Program gives you support when and how you need it. No pressure. Just real help. Start your free 7-day trial today - https://buy.stripe.com/fZe8Avdfx8bW9gcfZc

Connect with Emilia, Bianca & the EVOLVE VENTURES Community:

Website: http://www.evolveventurestech.com
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/evolveventures/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/EvolveVenturesTech (Public Page)
Evolve Ventures Society (Private Facebook Group) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/457130589193794
Emilia's IG - https://www.instagram.com/evolvewithemilia/
Emilia's TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@evolvewithemilia
Bianca's IG - https://www.instagram.com/evolvewithbianca/
Bianca's TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@evolvewithbianca?_t=8gq3wqu4fAx&_r=1

Connect with Emilia from Evolve Ventures for FREE:
https://calendly.com/emiliasmith/free-evp-communityconnect

Show notes:
 (0:00) Intro
 (2:13) Why vacations end up feeling wasted
 (4:08) Leaving home base disrupts everything
 (6:13) The client who feared derailing her goals
 (9:54) Going back into old world
 (14:53) Advocating for yourself when the group pushes back
 (17:12) Failing forward into better travel
 (19:22) Naming your values before you go
 (20:54) Mandi shares how Evolve group coaching helped her feel less alone in what she was going through
 (21:40) Inside the We Travel checklists
 (27:26) Live example: Wi-Fi, mattress, and a gym
 (33:28) Giving yourself a pass and regretting it later
 (38:49) Final takeaways and episode suggestion
 (40:46) Outro

***Leave them a 5-star review if you felt their energy, became inspired, or felt the value was added to your life in your EVOLUTION.

(Stay tuned for this coming Monday's episode!)

Send us Fan Mail

Waiting for an apology is its own kind of prison, and they hold the key on purpose.

In this episode, we unpack what is actually happening inside you when you cling to an apology that may never come. Bianca opens with a client who cannot let himself heal because getting better feels like letting the people who harmed him off the hook. We get into the bulldozer and the house, why an apology can never rebuild what was demolished, and the difference between reconciliation and repair. Emilia breaks down the unconscious expectations we carry into rupture, why naming the impact feels like admitting the harm was okay, and how the nervous system is really reaching for safety, not words. We land on the hard truth: an apology is a nice to have, not a need to have, and your pain was already real without their acknowledgment.

The how to apologize guide mentioned in this episode, from Emilia and Alan on The Conscious Couples podcast:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1KVsyimNpa2-XBOlWBY52mzp3VsD0ZQLP/view?usp=sharing

Here's a related episode that builds on today's conversation:

#521 | How to Trust Yourself and Eliminate Self-Doubt - https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/evolve-ventures/id1511831621?i=1000776557116

Learn more about:

🤝 Out of the Mud (OOTM) - "The Difference Between Avoidance and Self-Protection" - https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/IykObX8eR7ixJaQ-qqZogw#/registration

📆 Evolve Group Coaching - https://evolveventurestech.com/evolve-group-coaching/

📽️ Insightful films. Meaningful growth. Join our Evolve Movie Club - https://forms.gle/bBZUbFEeD2ijypCT7

🌱 The #YouDoYou Therapy Program gives you support when and how you need it. No pressure. Just real help. Start your free 7-day trial today - https://buy.stripe.com/fZe8Avdfx8bW9gcfZc

Connect with Emilia, Bianca & the EVOLVE VENTURES Community:

Website: http://www.evolveventurestech.com

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/evolveventures/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/EvolveVenturesTech (Public Page)

Evolve Ventures Society (Private Facebook Group) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/457130589193794

Emilia's IG - https://www.instagram.com/evolvewithemilia/

Emilia's TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@evolvewithemilia

Bianca's IG - https://www.instagram.com/evolvewithbianca/

Bianca's TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@evolvewithbianca?_t=8gq3wqu4fAx&_r=1

Connect with Emilia from Evolve Ventures for FREE:

https://calendly.com/emiliasmith/free-evp-communityconnect

Show notes:

(0:00) Intro
 (1:29) The truth about wanting them to apologize
 (2:29) What is happening inside you while you wait
 (2:46) A client who cannot let himself heal
 (4:24) The fear that getting better lets them off the hook
 (5:44) The limiting belief underneath the waiting
 (6:18) Unconscious expectations we bring into rupture
 (7:22) Reconciliation versus repair
 (8:45) Overestimating what other people are capable of
 (9:27) Emilia invites you to Out of the Mud, our free live virtual event hosted the last Wednesday of every month.
 (10:25) An apology does not undo the damage
 (10:48) The bulldozer and the house
 (11:29) Nice to have, not a need to have
 (12:17) Why some people cannot apologize
 (13:04) Why naming the impact is so hard
 (14:15) Rebuilding is not accepting the harm
 (16:21) Their apology does not make your pain real
 (17:05) Bringing the locus of control back inward
 (18:47) Outro

***Leave them a 5-star review if you felt their energy, became inspired, or felt the value was added to your life in your EVOLUTION.

(Stay tuned for this coming Thursday's episode!)

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Strength is not a personality trait, it is a practice, and children learn it by watching.

In this episode, we unpack why the mother role is one of the most vital and least supported roles there is. Emilia and Bianca make the case that you cannot be an empowered mother without first being an empowered woman, and that most women are attempting exactly that inside a culture that quietly resists it. They get into leading by example in the gym, in community, and in the language you use about your own child, and why a mother's presence shapes emotional safety, brain development, and a sense of self long before a child has words for any of it.

They also name the cost of getting it wrong: the Ferber method and the cry it out generation, the gap between good enough parenting and exceptional parenting, and the ownership mindset that surfaces when a parent believes they get to decide who their child is. Two client stories anchor the conversation, one single mother who describes motherhood as continuously getting to learn who her daughter is, and one woman who could not reach her own emotions until she had to co-regulate her toddler through a terrifying afternoon. This is not mother bashing. It is a call for women to be supported, for men to back them, and for the cycles to stop here.

Here's a related episode that builds on today's conversation:
#527 | How Important the Father Role REALLY Is - https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/evolve-ventures/id1511831621?i=1000779642049

Learn more about:

🤝 Out of the Mud (OOTM) - "The Difference Between Avoidance and Self-Protection" - https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/IykObX8eR7ixJaQ-qqZogw#/registration

📆 Evolve Group Coaching - https://evolveventurestech.com/evolve-group-coaching/

📽️ Insightful films. Meaningful growth. Join our Evolve Movie Club - https://forms.gle/bBZUbFEeD2ijypCT7

🌱 The #YouDoYou Therapy Program gives you support when and how you need it. No pressure. Just real help. Start your free 7-day trial today - https://buy.stripe.com/fZe8Avdfx8bW9gcfZc

Connect with Emilia, Bianca & the EVOLVE VENTURES Community:

Website: http://www.evolveventurestech.com

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/evolveventures/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/EvolveVenturesTech (Public Page)

Evolve Ventures Society (Private Facebook Group) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/457130589193794

Emilia's IG - https://www.instagram.com/evolvewithemilia/

Emilia's TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@evolvewithemilia

Bianca's IG - https://www.instagram.com/evolvewithbianca/

Bianca's TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@evolvewithbianca?_t=8gq3wqu4fAx&_r=1

Connect with Emilia from Evolve Ventures for FREE:

https://calendly.com/emiliasmith/free-evp-communityconnect

Show notes:

(0:00) Intro
 (3:05) Empowered mothers start with empowered women
 (4:53) Why empowered women feel like a threat
 (5:33) Leading by example in the gym
 (9:40) What limiting beliefs do to new mothers
 (10:25) Building a community that leads by example
 (14:13) This is not mother bashing
 (16:11) Ownership versus agency in parenting
 (21:17) Isaac shares what it's like to be part of the Evolve Ventures team and what he loves about it
 (22:10) Getting to learn who your daughter is
 (26:22) The mom who stayed regulated when her son went missing
 (34:31) Outro

***Leave them a 5-star review if you felt their energy, became inspired, or felt the value was added to your life in your EVOLUTION.

(Stay tuned for this coming Monday's episode!)

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Nobody hands boys a blueprint for fatherhood. In this episode, we unpack why the father role is one of the most under examined forces in psychology, and how it quietly sets a child's self-worth, nervous system and sense of what is safe to allow into their life. We look at the patriarchal scripts fathers inherited and passed down, the myth that dad exists to balance out mom's emotion, and why so many men arrive in their thirties having never once pictured themselves as a parent.

This is not a man bashing session. It is a call to the dads, the future dads, the uncles and the men who never had a father figure of their own. We break down the words that actually define the role: encouragement, play, leadership, attunement, reliability and safety. We share stories from the therapy room about direct and indirect harm, the gymnastics dad who got it right, and one gamified daily practice that costs nothing and changes the trajectory of a family.

Here's a related episode that builds on today's conversation:
#459 | What Your Family System Role Says About You - https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/evolve-ventures/id1511831621?i=1000740185898

Bianca mentions this episode early in the conversation:
#507 | Breaking Down Patriarchy, Matriarchy, And Our Role Within It - https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/evolve-ventures/id1511831621?i=1000769445396

Learn more about:

🤝 Out of the Mud (OOTM) - "The Difference Between Avoidance and Self-Protection" - https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/IykObX8eR7ixJaQ-qqZogw#/registration

📆 Evolve Group Coaching - https://evolveventurestech.com/evolve-group-coaching/

📽️ Insightful films. Meaningful growth. Join our Evolve Movie Club - https://forms.gle/bBZUbFEeD2ijypCT7

🌱 The #YouDoYou Therapy Program gives you support when and how you need it. No pressure. Just real help. Start your free 7-day trial today - https://buy.stripe.com/fZe8Avdfx8bW9gcfZc

Connect with Emilia, Bianca & the EVOLVE VENTURES Community:

Website: http://www.evolveventurestech.com

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/evolveventures/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/EvolveVenturesTech (Public Page)

Evolve Ventures Society (Private Facebook Group) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/457130589193794

Emilia's IG - https://www.instagram.com/evolvewithemilia/

Emilia's TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@evolvewithemilia

Bianca's IG - https://www.instagram.com/evolvewithbianca/

Bianca's TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@evolvewithbianca?_t=8gq3wqu4fAx&_r=1

Connect with Emilia from Evolve Ventures for FREE:

https://calendly.com/emiliasmith/free-evp-communityconnect

Show notes:

(0:00) Intro
 (1:49) Why the father role matters now more than ever
 (6:05) Patriarchal norms fathers inherited and passed down
 (7:47) How low self-worth traces back to dad
 (12:04) The myth that dad is there to balance out emotion
 (15:22) Boys are never taught to imagine fatherhood
 (19:28) Play matters, but not at the expense of showing up
 (22:50) Reactive parenting when the damage is already done
 (26:02) Ego and the fear of failing as a father
 (26:43) Bianca invites listeners to join Out of the Mud, the free live virtual event hosted the last Wednesday of every month.
 (27:21) You cannot nurture what you were never taught to feel
 (29:39) Encouragement, play, leadership, attunement, reliability
 (34:46) Direct and indirect harm in the father role
 (37:31) The gymnastics dad and what safety looks like
 (40:56) One daily tool: name a new emotion
 (42:56) Outro

***Leave them a 5-star review if you felt their energy, became inspired, or felt the value was added to your life in your EVOLUTION.

(Stay tuned for this coming Thursday's episode!)