EVOLVE with Dr. Tay: the podcast for parents of autistic kids

when should medication be part of your child’s support plan?

for many parents of autistic kids, medication feels heavy. scary. final. like something you only consider when everything else has failed. but what if medication isn’t a cure-all or a last resort — what if it’s simply one tool in the toolkit?

in this episode, Dr. Tay breaks down the nuanced role medication can play in supporting autistic children, especially when dysregulation, capacity, and mental health are limiting your child’s ability to access therapy, accommodations, or even their own joy.

this isn’t about quick fixes. it’s about expanding capacity.

00:00 introduction to medication support for autistic children

00:27 common misconceptions about medication

00:56 benefits and considerations for medication use

01:23 medication alongside therapeutic approaches

02:16 research insights on medication and behavioral support

03:08 using medication for anxiety and emotional dysregulation

03:33 recognizing when medication might be needed

04:03 indicators of nervous system dysregulation in therapy

05:06 medication as a tool

06:14 understanding stimulant medications (e.g., adderall, ritalin)

06:43 the “capacity cup” metaphor

07:38 teaching internal regulation alongside medication

09:28 anxiety management and exposure-based therapies

10:39 environmental stressors and medication’s role

12:29 medication optimization and careful dosing

13:20 addressing fears about personality loss and side effects

14:42 weighing risks and benefits to improve quality of life

15:31 advocacy tips for working with prescribing providers

16:42 invitation to medication consideration masterclass

17:11 closing remarks

⚡️ episodes referenced include 94 and 139 with Dr. Arielle Rubin and 177 with Dr. Stacy Greeter

⚡️ medication consideration masterclass (inside EVOLVE the membership):

join here >> https://drtaylorday.com/membership

⚡️ learn more about Dr. Tay’s Whole Family Approach + clinical services:

https://drtaylorday.com

are you constantly wondering if you’re doing too much… or not enough… for your autistic child?

in autism parenting, it can feel like every decision is high stakes. you hear “lower demands.” you hear “do exposure.” you hear “presume competence.” you hear autistic voices sharing lived experience. and somehow, you’re still left wondering what actually applies to your child.

this episode won’t give you a black-and-white formula. but it will help you understand how to think through this question in a grounded, regulated way — and how to navigate the tension between accommodation and over accommodation without swinging to extremes.

1. why nothing in autism parenting is black and white
2. how to filter research, professional advice, and autistic voices
3. what accommodation vs overaccommodation actually means
4. why overaccommodating anxiety can unintentionally reinforce it
5. how “low demand” can slide into eggshell parenting
6. when to gently peel back support to presume competence
7. how to use trial and error without turning it into self-blame

00:00 the importance of nuance in autism parenting

03:05 navigating accommodation vs over accommodation

11:29 understanding exposure therapy and its nuances

16:08 balancing structure and flexibility in parenting

23:08 empowering autonomy and self-advocacy in children

⚡️ join EVOLVE the membership and be live for the upcoming masterclass on this topic (March 2026)

⚡️ learn more about dr. tay’s whole family approach + clinical services

⚡️ follow me on

instagram → @the.dr.tay

tiktok → @the.dr.tay

ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇

screen time doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

in this episode, Dr. Tay sits down with Ash Brandin, @thegamereducator and author of Power On, to talk about balancing technology in a way that feels realistic, empowering, and aligned with your child’s brain, especially in neurodivergent children.

this conversation moves beyond fear-based messaging and into nuance — exploring regulation, accommodations, executive functioning, transitions, and digital safety through a neurodiversity-affirming lens.

1. why screen time is morally neutral and why that matters
2. how video games can support executive functioning and skill building
3. using screen time as data about how your child’s brain works
4. why some content is more dysregulating than others
5. practical strategies for transitions off screens
6. how to scaffold digital safety over time

00:00 introduction and today’s topic: screen time and technology

00:37 meet Ash Brandin

02:47 Ash’s journey to educating parents on technology

04:50 the importance of neutrality in technology use

06:10 balancing screen time: practical tips and insights

18:18 teaching technology skills: a lifelong approach

22:40 the benefits of screen time for autistic children

25:15 video games as accommodating environments

27:22 observing and learning from kids’ screen time

27:44 addressing hesitancy in using accommodations

29:58 engaging with kids through screen time

30:40 the importance of digital safety

31:48 exploring the book’s structure and key concepts

32:13 understanding access, behavior, and content in screen time

36:28 strategies for managing screen time transitions

40:04 final thoughts and resources

RESOURCES

⚡️ follow Ash on Instagram and on Substack

⚡️ order Power On: Managing Screen Time to Benefit the Whole Family

⚡️ join EVOLVE: The Membership — a neurodiversity-affirming space for parents to find community, support, and ongoing learning. dive into the included masterclass to dive deeper into navigating screen time and its benefits for autistic kids

⚡️ learn more about Dr. Tay’s Whole Family Approach + current services at drtaylorday.com

⚡️ continue learning + submit questions for future episodes:

Instagram → @the.dr.tay

TikTok → @the.dr.tay

ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇

in this special episode, Dr. Tay shares a live coaching session with Winter, a mom of a 6-year-old autistic boy. listeners are invited inside a real, unscripted coaching conversation — one that mirrors the questions, emotions, and uncertainty so many parents carry quietly.

together, Dr. Tay and Winter explore what it’s like to sit with grief and acceptance at the same time, to question whether current supports are actually helping, and to feel the pressure to “do enough” while also wanting space to breathe. Dr. Tay helps Winter slow things down, name what’s coming up beneath the urgency, and reflect on what alignment, confidence, and quality of life could look like for her family.

this episode offers a window into how parent coaching can help you:

1. feel less alone in the emotional weight of an autism diagnosis
2. untangle urgency from what truly matters right now
3. experiment with supports without shame or fear of “getting it wrong”
4. build confidence in your instincts as your child’s parent
5. reconnect with yourself while still showing up for your child
6. 
   

if you’ve ever wondered what parent coaching actually sounds like — or wished for a space to talk things through out loud with someone who truly gets it — this episode is for you.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 introduction and episode overview

00:06 meet winter and her journey

02:52 navigating early diagnosis and initial support

04:02 challenges, grief, and emotional struggles

11:57 finding the right support and community

20:30 navigating autism as a first-time parent

20:43 the pressure of early intervention

21:53 the impact of how diagnoses are delivered

23:04 support systems and clinical care

23:47 parenting with confidence and love

27:09 concerns about the future

33:33 advocating for disability needs in public spaces

37:25 building community and self-advocacy

39:54 closing reflections and resources

RESOURCES

⚡️ Connect with Winter @aspectrumfueledpurpose

⚡️ Join EVOLVE: The Membership — a neurodiversity-affirming space for parents to find community, support, and ongoing learning on this journey, with the option to add on a 1:1 coaching session like this

⚡️ Learn more about Dr. Tay’s Whole Family Approach + other services at drtaylorday.com

⚡️ Continue learning + submit questions for future episodes:

Instagram → @the.dr.tay

TikTok → @the.dr.tay

ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇

if you’ve recently received an autism diagnosis — or you’re pretty sure one is coming — this episode is for you.

many parents expect to feel relief after a diagnosis. sometimes that happens briefly. but more often, things actually feel heavier, more confusing, and more urgent. in this episode, Dr. Tay breaks down why that happens, names the “trap of urgency” so many families fall into, and explains what actually helps in this early post-diagnosis phase.

want more support? the You Got The Diagnosis. Now What? program was designed for you! a four-week, neurodiversity-affirming program designed to support families in the space between diagnosis and action — focused on clarity, self-trust, and sustainable next steps.

LEARN MORE HERE: https://drtay.thrivecart.com/you-got-the-diagnosis-now-what

CHAPTERS

00:00 navigating the autism diagnosis journey

02:26 understanding why diagnosis can create more questions

12:41 clarity over urgency: slowing down without falling behind

23:59 introducing support for families in the post-diagnosis phase

RESOURCES

⚡️ learn more about Dr. Tay’s Whole Family Approach and other services

https://drtaylorday.com

⚡️ continue learning from me >>

Instagram @the.dr.tay

TikTok @the.dr.tay

ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇

this episode marks a big milestone — 200 episodes — and a very human return after an unplanned pause.

Dr. Tay shares openly about what led to stepping back, including grief, perfectionism, and the pressure she felt to make the “right” episode for this moment. from there, the conversation widens into something deeper: how personal values, neurodiversity-affirming care, and what’s happening in our country are deeply intertwined.

this is an episode about alignment — as a parent, as a clinician, and as a human — and why staying silent doesn’t feel like an option when your values are at stake.

CHAPTERS

00:00 return from hiatus and celebrating 200 episodes

05:48 navigating personal challenges, caregiving, and grief

12:19 the intersection of personal beliefs and professional practice

20:37 the importance of human connection in parenting

26:23 values, advocacy, and human rights

33:05 core values in clinical practice

36:38 affirming neurodivergence through collaboration

40:15 integrity, repair, and whole-family healing

44:00 living in alignment with your values

49:43 reflecting on privilege and responsibility in advocacy

RESOURCES

⚡️ join EVOLVE the membership: a space for questions, community, and neurodiversity-affirming guidance

https://drtaylorday.com/membership

⚡️ learn more about Dr. Tay’s Whole Family Approach and current services

https://drtaylorday.com

⚡️ continue learning from me >>

Instagram @the.dr.tay

TikTok @the.dr.tay

this week’s episode was inspired directly by a diagnostic feedback session inside dr. tay’s clinical practice. one parent asked a question that so many others wonder:

“should i be teaching social skills to my autistic child… and if so, how?”

in this episode, dr. tay breaks down why traditional social skills approaches often miss the mark, how they can unintentionally promote masking, and what a neurodiversity-affirming approach looks like instead.

you’ll learn:

1. why “social skills” often = neurotypical norms
2. what actually helps autistic kids build authentic connection
3. practical ways to support social growth at home, without scripts or forcing
4. how to understand what your child needs based on their motivation, interests, and neurotype

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 introduction and episode inspiration

00:21 diagnostic feedback and recommendations

01:57 therapeutic approaches and parent coaching

04:34 addressing social skills in autistic children

05:52 neurodiversity affirming approaches

08:00 practical strategies and role-playing

12:04 real-life situations and empathy building

16:16 parental involvement and social skills groups

23:03 conclusion and next steps

RESOURCES

⚡️need more support navigating this? Join EVOLVE the membership — a neurodiversity-affirming space to ask YOUR questions.

⚡️ learn more about Dr. Tay’s Whole Family Approach + current services, including her small group therapy model, at drtaylorday.com

⚡️ keep learning

Instagram → @the.dr.tay

TikTok → @the.dr.tay

ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇

In this episode, Dr. Tay emphasizes the importance of supporting parents in the autistic journey. Joined by Lisa Candera, a single mom and coach for parents of autistic children, they discuss the role of parents as primary co-regulators for their children as well as strategies for staying regulated, building self-trust, and supporting their children's behaviors. They also explore systemic issues, coping mechanisms, and the need for a holistic approach that includes listening to autistic voices. Despite the focus on parents, the core message underscores the importance of a balanced support system for the entire family unit.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

00:28 Lisa Candera's Background and Passion

00:45 The Role of Parents in Autism Support

01:28 Podcast Introduction and Disclaimer

02:30 Lisa's Journey as a Single Mom

05:25 Challenges and Early Diagnosis

06:48 Navigating Resources and Support Systems

08:27 The Importance of Parental Education

16:04 Understanding OCD and Autism

22:59 Coaching and Self-Regulation

28:21 Understanding the Distinctness of OCD

28:30 The Complexity of Compulsions

29:01 Parental Instincts and Fix-It Mode

29:31 The Illogical Nature of OCD

30:06 OCD and Autism: The Just Right Feeling

31:22 Building Acceptance in Parenting

32:22 The Psychological Definition of Acceptance

33:46 Behavioral Issues and Parental Pressure

35:05 Supporting Parents: Tips and Strategies

37:24 Validating Experiences Before Problem Solving

38:01 Common Challenges and Seeking Support

39:21 Navigating Grief and Acceptance

40:02 Ambiguous Grief and GOMO

41:17 Being the Safe Person and Self-Advocacy

44:31 Parental Regulation and Child's Behavior

46:36 Building a Well-Rounded Support Team

48:29 The Power of Tone and Voice

52:12 Conclusion and Resources

RESOURCES

⚡️ Continue learning from Lisa Candera at theautismmomcoach.com/ and @theautismmomcoach on Instagram and Facebook

⚡️ Download the Meltdown Action Plan

⚡️ Join EVOLVE: The Membership — a neurodiversity-affirming space for parents to find community, support, and ongoing learning on this journey.

⚡️ Learn more about Dr. Tay’s Whole Family Approach + current services at drtaylorday.com

⚡️ Continue learning + submit questions for future episodes:

Instagram → @the.dr.tay

TikTok → @the.dr.tay

ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇

In this mini episode, Dr. Tay discusses impulse control for autistic children and offers proactive strategies to develop this skill without inducing shame. Dr. Tay emphasizes the importance of a regulated state for teaching impulse control and using fun, engaging games like Red Light, Green Light and Simon Says. The episode also answers questions from parents, such as managing inappropriate comments and excessive affectionate behaviors.

00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview

00:24 Inspiration Behind the Episode

01:30 Understanding Impulse Control in Autistic Children

03:02 Proactive Skill Building Strategies

03:53 Engaging Activities to Teach Impulse Control

06:29 Addressing Common Questions from Parents

15:36 Impulse Control vs. Other Behavioral Issues

17:15 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

RESOURCES

⚡️ Join EVOLVE: The Membership — a neurodiversity-affirming space for parents to find community, support, and ongoing learning on this journey.

⚡️ Learn more about Dr. Tay’s Whole Family Approach + current services at drtaylorday.com

⚡️ Continue learning + suggest topics for future episodes:

Instagram → @the.dr.tay

TikTok → @the.dr.tay

ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇

In this episode, Dr. Tay discusses the often overlooked yet crucial concept of interoception and its importance in supporting autistic children. Joined by guest Kelly Mahler, an experienced occupational therapist specializing in this area, they dive into what interoception is, how it impacts autistic children, and actionable strategies to improve interoceptive awareness. The conversation also touches on the significance of adult modeling, school-based interventions, and a comprehensive approach to sensory regulation. Additionally, they explore the connection between interoception and autistic burnout, providing valuable insights and resources for parents and educators.

00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview

02:04 Guest Introduction: Kelly Mahler

02:11 Kelly's Journey into Interoception

04:17 Understanding Interoception

08:57 Interoception in Autistic Individuals

14:44 Building Interoceptive Awareness in Kids

23:16 Challenges and Advocacy in Schools

25:25 Understanding Interoception and Compliance

26:01 Adult Modeling and Focus Area Experiments

28:59 Sequential Process: Body, Emotion, Action

32:18 Challenges in School-Based OT and Sensory Regulation

38:47 Autistic Burnout and Interoception

46:52 Resources and Final Thoughts

RESOURCES

⚡️ check out all of Kelly’s resources → www.kelly-mahler.com

⚡️ Join EVOLVE: The Membership — a neurodiversity-affirming space for parents to find community, support, and ongoing learning on this journey.

⚡️ Learn more about Dr. Tay’s Whole Family Approach + current services at drtaylorday.com

⚡️ Continue learning + submit questions for future episodes:

Instagram → @the.dr.tay

TikTok → @the.dr.tay