Examine Your Hedman

Your hosts, Tara Hedman and Diane Thompson welcome Christina Conrad to today's episode for the second part of an insightful conversation. Christina shares more of her story of spiritual trauma, the power differential that contributes to abuse, and the healing that came after. She shares about discovering an authentic spirituality after a heart-wrenching faith deconstruction. She shares the details of her hope after freeing herself from the history of codependency and pain.

Life really can suck less, so examine your head, man!

Key Takeaways:

[1:33] Christina became super close to her pastor.

[1:56] Christina talks about a new friendship.

[3:15] Christina talks about not knowing to listen to her intuition or how to set physical boundaries.

[4:12] Christina talks about her view of homosexuality growing up in church and how she sees it different now.

[10:44] Christina shares how she didn't feel supported, seen, or heard.

[13:35] Christina talks more about her relationship with the pastor and how he called her his "spiritual daughter."

[22:07] Christina struggles with confusion about her feelings towards the pastor.

[25:46] Christina confronts the pastor and is honest about her feelings.

[30:51] Christina couldn't act as if everything was ok.

[33:32] Christina realized she needed help and decided to start seeing a therapist.

[37:01] Tara talks about the consequences of the purity culture.

[38:10] Christina talks about the benefits of therapy for her.

[39:37] Christina and Tara talk about love addiction.

[41:51] What did Christina find in group counseling that was helpful to her?

[45:43] What does it mean for Christina today to know what she needs?

[49:06] Christina talks about feeling distant from God and why.

[50:33] How does Christina see faith now?

[52:50] Christina tells how she met her husband and went through a major identity shift.

[54:37] Christina is still figuring out what she believes in.

[55:59] What does a "healthy" life look like to Christina?

[59:35] What were the things Christina found in her healing journey that were not helpful to her?

[1:00:42] Does Christina think her therapists pushed her away from church?

[1:04:30] How did becoming a mother shift Chistina's perspective?

Mentioned in this episode:

Hedman Wellness

Examine Your Hedman Podcast

Visit Examine Your Hedman

Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love, Pia Mellody

Facing Codependency: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives, Pia Mellody

This podcast is not a substitute for a therapeutic relationship with a mental health professional

Your hosts, Tara Hedman and Diane Thompson welcome Christina Conrad to today's episode. Christina shares her story of spiritual abuse, finding safety, the process of deconstruction and healing. She shares about taking responsibility, finding value in her truest self, developing healthy boundaries, and her shifting relationship with spirituality and faith.

Life really can suck less, so examine your head, man!

Key Takeaways:

[3:26] Christina shares about what life looks like today.

[5:27] Christina talks about her family structure and her early connection to the church.

[8:15] As a girl Christina felt lonely and confused.

[9:30] In her parents' eyes Christina was "ok."

[11:02] Christina shares about codependency in her family.

[15:06] What did codependency look like for Christina growing up?

[18:43] Christina talks about religion growing up.

[20:10] How leaving home impacted her mother.

[26:26] Christina talks about the internship she did.

[30:53] Christina shares about an inappropriate situation with someone she babysat for.

[33:45] Christina shares about her discomfort/struggle confronting him with 2 of her pastors.

[38:22] Christina shares about a dating relationship she had in church.

[41:13] When boundaries are violated but you haven't learned it's ok to say 'no'.

[47:44] Christina shares about her dating experience and the time she dissociated and felt used.

[51:31] Christina shares about feeling like God would require her to marry him.

[53:29] Christina shares about a mission trip she co-led with him and the struggles she had.

Mentioned in this episode:

Hedman Wellness

Examine Your Hedman Podcast

Visit Examine Your Hedman

Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love, Pia Mellody

Facing Codependency: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives, Pia Mellody

This podcast is not a substitute for a therapeutic relationship with a mental health professional

Your hosts, Tara Hedman and Diane Thompson are joined today by Kim Coe for the second part of an insightful conversation about life as a mother of five, including two beautiful girls with Down Syndrome. One little girl from Kim's last pregnancy, and another little girl who was adopted. Kim shares how raising them has presented different challenges, healing she didn't expect, beautiful experiences, and also the unmeasurable joys of celebrating their achievements, growth, and progress.

Life really can suck less, so examine your head, man!

Key Takeaways:

[1:20] Kim shares about her adopted daughter now that she is four years old.

[5:12] Kim talks about the financial aspect of being an adoptive parent.

[9:05] What do adoption fees cover?

[10:31] Kim shares how she feels in regards to the academic gap that her daughters sometimes experience.

[14:14] Kim talks about her fears as a mother.

[16:05] What level of knowledge do her children with Down Syndrome have that are different from their siblings?

[16:23] Teaching her daughters about Down Syndrome.

[19:30] Diane shares her experience with her daughter Myah.

[25:01] Diane addresses the limitations of the educational system.

[28:11] What has been the hardest thing for Kim as her daughters get older at a community level?

[31:11] What are the perceived losses for Kim?

[35:07] What would Kim like listeners to know about having a child with Down Syndrome?

[38:23] It is ok to be awkward, ask questions, and get closer to parents with children with disabilities.

[42:25] How does Kim take care of herself?

[45:04] What was a surprise in the process of adoption?

[47:24] Can you really love an adoptive child like your own?

[48:22] Kim talks about the right terms to use when talking about children with disabilities.

[53:17] People want to be asked what is appropriate to them.

Mentioned in this episode:

Hedman Wellness

Examine Your Hedman Podcast

Visit Examine Your Hedman

Email Kim at [email protected]

This podcast is not a substitute for a therapeutic relationship with a mental health professional

Your hosts, Tara Hedman and Diane Thompson welcome you to another episode of Examine Your Hedman Podcast. In today's episode, they are joined by Kim Coe, a friend of Tara's since Junior High.

Kim shares her journey as a mother of five beautiful children, two with disabilities, and the challenges and beauty of adoption.

Life really can suck less, so examine your head, man!

Key Takeaways:

[1:10] Tara and Diane give an update about their current lives.

[13:10] Tara introduces Kim.

[15:05] Kim talks about her process with one of her pregnancies and receiving news that her baby was at high risk of having Down Syndrome.

[22:30] Kim shares about the options her doctor gave her.

[25:35] Kim remembers sharing the news with her husband and how he responded with, "She is our daughter, we are going to love her."

[26:55] Kim tells Tara she just found out her baby has Down Syndrome.

[28:20] Kim shares about her process and finding out the diagnosis was certain.

[31:06] Kim talks about the information and help that's available now and the changes needed in the medical field.

[33:07] Kim talks about her process from finding out the diagnosis and the moment her daughter was born.

[34:55] Kim shares what her grief looked like.

[38:14] Kim discusses the difficulties and grace in sharing the news with friends and family.

[41:45] What was the hardest part for Kim in the first year after her daughter was born?

[43:37] Kim recognizes her daughter first, before her diagnosis.

[44:25] Kim shares her advice to parents who are expecting a child with Down Syndrome.

[47:43] Kim shares how she and her husband decided to adopt another child with Down Syndrome.

[52:10] Kim gets news they were chosen for adoption.

[53:42] Kim shares about stereotypes.

Mentioned in this episode:

Hedman Wellness

Examine Your Hedman Podcast

Visit Examine Your Hedman

Email Kim at [email protected]

Fasten Your Seatbelt: A Crash Course on Down Syndrome for Brothers and Sisters, Brian Skotko

This podcast is not a substitute for a therapeutic relationship with a mental health professional

Your hosts, Tara Hedman and Diane Thompson are welcoming Laurel Justice to today's episode. Laurel is an artist, a psychotherapist, and a retreat curator, today, she shares her story and healing journey. Laurel dives deep into her upbringing and how those years impacted her emotionally. Laurel also talks about her role as a wife and mother of three, and how she combined her healing journey with her passion for the arts and her love for helping others achieve their higher selves.

In this second part of the conversation with Laurel, she expresses how, as a trauma survivor, she processed the anger and fear with her own therapist. At 13 years old, a friend was kidnapped and murdered. Laurel shares the repercussions of this in her life throughout the years.

Life really can suck less, so examine your head, man!

Key Takeaways:

[1:31] Laurel recalls how she found out about her friend who was murdered and how she learned about the details of the crime through friends, since her parents wanted to protect her from the horror of the event.

[6:20] Many years later Laurel works in therapy in her role as a trauma survivor.

[7:28] Many years later Laurel reads the court transcript about the case of her murdered friend, and lets herself feel for the first time what she should have felt when she was 13 years old.

[10:26] Laurel got in touch with her deceased friend's sister and found out they have a lot in common.

[13:44] Laurel and Tara talk about the journey for people who have lost one of their siblings.

[18:41] What were the most helpful tools Laurel used?

[21: 58] Laurel shares an example of self-care.

[24:50] Laurel talks about the benefits of journaling and other practices that have been helpful for her healing process.

[28:11] What group therapy can do for you in terms of validation is unparalleled.

[29:50] Laurel talks about how retreats are a great part of her self-care.

[31:10] Laurel shares the benefits of following the 12 Step program.

[35:10] Laurel explains all the different ways to participate in a 12 Step program.

[40:03] How art looks today in Laurel's life.

[42:15] Laurel talks about "Stranger Moments", a social project she conducted.

[44:45] It is never too late for healing.

Mentioned in this episode:

Hedman Wellness

Examine Your Hedman Podcast

Visit Examine Your Hedman

Learn more about Laurel Justice

Check Laurel's retreats

Visit Laurel's website

Here is the workshop Laurel is co-hosting

Connect with Laurel on Instagram

Learn more about Laurel's retreats on Instagram

Learn more about the following groups:

12-Step Programs

Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families

Underearners Anonymous

Alcoholics Anonymous

Overeaters Anonymous

This podcast is not a substitute for a therapeutic relationship with a mental health professional

Your hosts, Tara Hedman and Diane Thompson are welcoming Laurel Justice to today's episode. Laurel is an artist, a psychotherapist, and a retreat curator, today, she shares her story and healing journey. Laurel dives deep into her upbringing and how those years impacted her emotionally. Laurel also talks about her role as a wife and mother of three, and how she combined her healing journey with her passion for the arts and her love for helping others achieve their higher selves.

Life really can suck less, so examine your head, man!

Key Takeaways:

[3:45] Laurel talks about her upbringing.

[7:00] Laurel started to care about "fitting in" at a very young age.

[10:08] Laurel talks about the time in her life where she was anxious and depressed.

[11:27] What brought along Laurel's rage?

[13:04] Laurel shares her journaling experience.

[15:55] Does Laurel see pieces of her "old self" in her children?

[18:36] What were the things that used to make Laurel angry?

[23:11] Laurel talks about her marriage.

[25:36] What were the biggest shifts Laurel made?

[28:30] Laurel talks about how dance is therapeutic.

[31:35] Tara talks about a workshop many years ago where Laurel made a huge impression on her.

[36:30] Was dance always a passion for Laurel?

[40:53] What took Laurel to counselling?

[41:45] Laurel talks about her parents.

[43:22] Laurel felt shame for being who she was.

[45:20] Laurel talks of her trauma related to the fear of being rejected for being who she was.

[47:43] Laurel's parents' perspective in regards to parenting was to mold a child to be acceptable for society.

[49:25] Laurel remembers not agreeing with the established set of rules when she was a child.

[50:07] Laurel shares about her spiritual awakening in junior high.

[51:57] Laurel shares a horrifyingly traumatic event that happened when she was 13 years old.

[54:57] Laurel talks about the fear of men she experienced during her adolescence.

[56:35] Laurel talks about her friend who, at 13 years old, was kidnapped, raped, and killed.

Mentioned in this episode:

Hedman Wellness

Examine Your Hedman Podcast

Visit Examine Your Hedman

Learn more about Laurel Justice

Check Laurel's retreats

Visit Laurel's website

Here is the workshop Laurel is co-hosting

Connect with Laurel on Instagram

Learn more about Laurel's retreats on Instagram

The Artist's Way, Julia Cameron

This podcast is not a substitute for a therapeutic relationship with a mental health professional

Your hosts, Tara Hedman and Diane Thompson, welcome you to another episode of Examine Your Hedman Podcast. Today, they are joined by Brian Nelson for the second part of this insightful conversation.

In this episode, Brian shares about his parents' decision to adopt four children after Beau passed away, his grieving journey through the years, and how his perspective about the loss of his little brother continues to change as he faces the different phases of life. Brian talks in-depth about what has helped (and what didn't) in his healing process, and how others might support someone transiting the hard path of grief.

Life really can suck less, so examine your head, man!

Key Takeaways:

[1:20] Brian talks about his parents deciding to adopt a year after Beau passed away.

[4:41] What was the biggest scar for Brian?

[5:31] Brian shares how the grief still shows up today.

[7:25] Brian talks about how his loss has helped him empathize with others who've also gone through the loss of a loved one.

[9:10] Brian talks about how he likes to remember his brother.

[10:02] Brian speaks to parents who have lost a child about how to support their living children.

[14:45] Brian shares how he sees things differently now, being a parent himself.

[17:51] Brian shares ways in which people can show up for those who have experienced a serious loss.

[19:04] Brian talks about their first Thanksgiving without Beau.

[22:32] Grief is inconsistent.

[23:42] Brian shares a conversation with Beau's teacher many years after he passed away.

[25:14] What helped Brian the most at the hardest times of his grieving curve?

[29:07] Tara shares about Diane's house burning down two years ago.

[33:10] Tara, Diane and Brian talk about where the real trauma lies.

[38:00] They talk about how no one really knows about the suffering you are going through, every person struggles in their own way and under unique circumstances.

[40:34] Tara talks about how grieving without shame and fear is difficult in this country.

[41:38] Brian shares how it feels for him to talk about the loss of his brother.

[45:19] Brian shares the healing moment when he realized that it was ok for him to keep on living his life.

Mentioned in this episode:

Hedman Wellness

Examine Your Hedman Podcast

Visit Examine Your Hedman

Compassionate Friends

Contact Brian Nelson at: [email protected]

This podcast is not a substitute for a therapeutic relationship with a mental health professional

Your hosts, Tara Hedman and Diane Thompson, welcome you to another episode of Examine Your Hedman Podcast. Today, they are joined by Brian Nelson who has known Tara from Junior High, even before she met Diane.

Brian shares in this episode about losing his 10-year-old brother, Beau, when he was 19 and how that impacted his entire family. Brian openly shares what was helpful for his healing process and what grief and loss looked like for him facing one of the most difficult times of his life.

Life really can suck less, so examine your head, man!

Key Takeaways:

[12:37] What was life like for Brian prior to the loss of his brother?

[15:56] How did they lose Beau?

[19:13] What was it like for Brian to say goodbye to his little brother?

[21:33] What is life like for Brian now?

[22:07] Anniversaries carry a visceral sensation that we don't always understand cognitively.

[24:12] What was life like for Brian after Beau passed away?

[27:30] Brian talks about a football coach who was especially supportive and took him by surprise.

[29:14] Brian talks about his years in College.

[31:17] Beau's room stayed the same way he left it for over a year, becoming a sanctuary of grief.

[32:14] What was it like for Brian to see his parents' grief?

[33:23] Brian's parents started attending a group called Compassionate Friends, where grieving parents met.

[35:05] Brian talks about the relationship with his parents over the years up until today.

[35:34] Brian's mother went to the cemetery every day for a year.

[38:25] Brian shares how his parents told him they wanted to adopt two boys. And then two girls.

Mentioned in this episode:

Hedman Wellness

Examine Your Hedman Podcast

Visit Examine Your Hedman

Compassionate Friends

Contact Brian Nelson at: [email protected]

This podcast is not a substitute for a therapeutic relationship with a mental health professional

Your hosts, Tara Hedman and Diane Thompson welcome Stacy Hladek, LPC, to today's episode. Stacy lost both of her parents to a drunk driver 20 years ago. Ten years later, her daughter also passed away in a car accident, and in today's episode (the second of two), she dives deep into the details of this terrible incident that changed her life forever as well as the lives of her husband and son. Stacy talks about shock, trauma, grief, and loss.

Through her remarkable story, Stacy discloses her tremendous pain, grief, and healing. Stacy is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Colorado Springs specializing in children and trauma. She is direct and warm, a powerful and rare combination.

Life really can suck less, so examine your head, man!

Key Takeaways:

[1:34] Stacy shares how her daughter passed away and how she found out about it.

[5:20] Stacy shares not remembering what happened once she found out the news.

[8:12] What is dissociation?

[12:17] Stacy shares how children experience dissociation differently than adults do.

[13:01] Stacy remembers what the day her daughter passed away was like.

[16:33] What was going on in Stacy's mind and heart when her daughter's friends started showing up at her door?

[17:45] Grief can be very contradictory.

[21:25] What was it like "being a mess?"

[25:30] Stacy and Tara talk about the connection between memory and smell.

[30:08] Stacy explains how exhausting it is to grieve.

[36:12] Stacy shares the blessings that came after her daughter passed away.

[39:10] There's crucial importance in continuing to talk about those who have passed away.

[42:30] Stacy shares how the relationship with her husband was impacted by the loss of her parents and their daughter.

[48:10] Stacy talks about the most and least helpful tools she got from counseling.

[49:39] It is better to say the wrong thing than not say anything at all.

[51:53] Stacy shares how she helped her son through his grieving process.

[55:26] What is the biggest difference in Stacy today compared to herself before her losses?

[57:40] Stacy extends her advice to people who are grieving.

[59:41] What does Stacy know now that she wishes she had known then?

[1:02:55] What was helpful from counseling?

[1:04:05] Stacy gives a brief synopsis of EMDR.

[1:07:56] Adult grief can look very different from a child's grief.

Mentioned in this episode:

Hedman Wellness

Examine Your Hedman Podcast

Visit Examine Your Hedman

Room of Marvels, James Bryan Smith

A Grief Observed, C. S. Lewis

Internal Family Systems

Lifespan Integration

EMDR Therapy

This podcast is not a substitute for a therapeutic relationship with a mental health professional

Your hosts, Tara Hedman and Diane Thompson welcome Stacy Hladek, LPC, to today's episode. Stacy lost both of her parents to a drunk driver 20 years ago. Ten years later, her daughter also passed away in a car accident. Today is the first of two episodes, where Stacy openly shares her experience of shock, trauma, grief, and loss. She also speaks on how she supports her clients grieving in their own way.

Through her remarkable story, Stacy discloses her tremendous pain, grief, and healing. Stacy is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Colorado Springs specializing in children and trauma. She is direct and warm, a powerful and rare combination.

Life really can suck less, so examine your head, man!

Key Takeaways:

[8:21] Stacy's parents were killed in a car accident 20 years ago.

[9:24] How does Stacy talk about grief with her clients?

[17:09] Stacy shares about when she got the news her parents were killed in a car accident.

[23:15] Stacy shares what came after hearing the most terrible news of her life at that time.

[25:50] Stacy shares the difference it made to find out her parents were killed by a drunk driver.

[29:54] Stacy shares how her family's Christian faith helped them walk through the grieving process.

[32:04] Stacy talks about the hardest emotional aspect to face during the first months after her parents passed away.

[34:40] How did Stacy's husband and children deal with the loss?

[35:40] What was it like seeing the woman who was the drunk driver?

[38:57] The drunk driver never apologized, Stacy worked hard to let go of her anger and forgive her regardless.

[41:45] Stacy shares how she benefited from writing letters to the drunk driver; letters she never sent, and how they helped her process her feelings.

[45:35] Stacy talks about the bond she has with her brothers and how it only became stronger after their parents passed away.

[49:10] What is the hardest part for Stacy now?

[51:35] Stacy talks about the importance of finding humor in all things.

Mentioned in this episode:

Hedman Wellness

Examine Your Hedman Podcast

Visit Examine Your Hedman

Room of Marvels, James Bryan Smith

A Grief Observed, C. S. Lewis

Internal Family Systems

Lifespan Integration

EMDR Therapy

This podcast is not a substitute for a therapeutic relationship with a mental health professional