Examine Your Hedman

Your hosts, Tara Hedman and Diane Thompson, welcome you to another episode of Examine Your Hedman. They are accompanied today by Kevin Uzri, LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor), who specializes in sex and love addiction, he owns his own practice, Sojourn Counseling Center in Monument, CO as well as a software development company for Neurofeedback, he is a husband and a dad, and overall a good human being.

In this second episode, Kevin talks more about his story and past trauma. He dives deep into the difference between guilt and shame, how the recovery journey begins and what healing really looks like. Kevin talks about his healing journey, how it transformed his perspective on who he really is, and the change from seeing himself like a monster to someone who can learn and love. He continues to learn his true value and realize that his addiction revealed a deeper gift.

Life really can suck less, so examine your head, man!

Key Takeaways:

[1:31] After 18 years of recovery, Kevin shares what it is like for him to meet someone who is at the front end of exposure and disclosure.

[3:22] Being a counselor is not being the expert but being with the person.

[4:15] Kevin and Tara talk about dyslexia.

[6:22] What was most helpful for Kevin when he started seeking help?

[7:34] Kevin talks about what was not helpful in his healing journey.

[9:17] The beginning of recovery often comes from being forced, however, you have to figure out why you want to be clean. What is it you want?.

[12:10] Tara shares a part of the book Eating in the Light of the Moon.

[17:56] Kevin talks about the difference between guilt and shame.

[19:07] How to turn your addiction into a gift.

[21.30] Tara explains what replacing an addiction really looks like.

[23:48] The reward in addiction is instantaneous, that is why recovery is a rough journey.

[29:48] It is hard to allow yourself to feel connected.

[30:26] What was the connection piece like for Kevin meeting his partner Jenny?

[32:43] How can a son or daughter come out to their parents about their addiction? Find a safe place.

[38:14] You can have your feelings and opinions; you don't have to hold them back.

[40:52] A good counseling session needs to feel like a safe place where you are accepted.

[41:52] Kevin talks about his role as a parent.

[43:50] Kevin shares his therapeutic journey.

[47:33] Kevin speaks on the different therapeutic approaches for recovery available.

[49:08] What is the biggest difference between Kevin's internal world 20 years ago vs. now?

[51:00] Where does the "monster" message come from?

[55:14] Kevin shares the role families play in shaping how children look at themselves and the world around them.

[1:00:13] Kevin talks about the benefits and possibilities with Neurofeedback.

Mentioned in this episode:

Hedman Wellness

Examine Your Hedman Podcast

Visit Examine Your Hedman

Dyslexie font

Eating in the Light of the Moon: How Women Can Transform Their Relationship with Food Through Myths, Metaphors, and Storytelling, Anita A. Johnston Ph.D.

Johann Hari's Ted Talk: "Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong"

The Me You Can't See, Oprah Winfrey, Harry Windsor

Sojourn Counseling Center

Synapse Data

This podcast is not a substitute for a therapeutic relationship with a mental health professional

Your hosts, Tara Hedman and Diane Thompson, welcome you to another episode of Examine Your Hedman. They are accompanied today by Kevin Uzri, LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor), who specializes in sex and love addiction, he owns his own practice, Sojourn Counseling Center in Monument, CO as well as a software development company for Neurofeedback, he is a husband and a dad, and overall a good human being.

In this episode (the first of two), Kevin shares how he first sought help due to pornography addiction, how it related to his spirituality and the beginning of his career as a counselor.

Life really can suck less, so examine your head, man!

Key Takeaways:

[14:22] Kevin joins Tara and Diane for a thoughtful conversation.

[17:28] Kevin shares about his life today.

[19:40] Kevin talks about his parents.

[20:09] What brought Kevin to seek assistance?

[21:55] Kevin talks about pornography and religion.

[24:45] What does pornography addiction look like for Kevin?

[25:56] Kevin was known as "the rock" for his friends and family.

[26:44] Kevin talks about his relationship with his sibling.

[28:17] What was it like for Kevin to start assisting sex addiction groups?

[29:40] The beginning of an addiction.

[30:01] Kevin talks about his relationship with food.

[31:08] How did the addiction process escalate?

[32:22] Kevin shares the shame cycle he was trapped in as a result of his porn addiction.

[32:58] Kevin talks about his experience with clients going through porn addiction.

[34:28] Addiction is about trauma.

[39:05] Recovery and dating.

[40:35] Kevin shares how he met his wife.

[41:09] What is the difference between porn addiction and someone who just likes porn?

[44:00] Kevin shares how before he was sober, he lived in a fantasy world and how he had to learn to live in the real world once in sobriety.

[45:21] What kind of a counselor is Kevin?

[47:10] Tara shares her experience being Kevin's client and dealing with her rage against men.

[49:50] Kevin talks about secrecy being the backbone of addiction.

[52:06] Tara talks about the concept of a "thousand hoops."

Mentioned in this episode:

Hedman Wellness

Examine Your Hedman Podcast

Visit Examine Your Hedman

The Meadows

The Emotional Incest Syndrome: What to do When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life, by Dr. Patricia Love.

Sojourn Counseling Center

This podcast is not a substitute for a therapeutic relationship with a mental health professional

Your hosts, Tara Hedman and Diane Thompson, welcome you to another episode of Examine Your Hedman Podcast. They are joined today by Janyne McConnaughey, Ph.D., nationally known trauma-informed author & advocate. She is currently a Distinguished Visiting Professor at Tabor College (Masters in Education: Neuroscience & Trauma) and serves on the Board of Directors for the Attachment & Trauma Network (ATN). Janyne builds on her forty-year career in teaching, teacher education, and an expertise in early childhood development to help educators, caregivers, and church ministry workers understand and apply trauma-informed practices.

This episode is the second part of an amazing conversation with Janyne where she shares how life is for her today as a trauma survivor, someone who learned to set boundaries while defining her sense of self. In today's episode, Janyne also dives deep into the meaning of spiritual abuse and how she redefined her relationship with God as a crucial part of her healing journey. It is never too late to heal, and it is always worth it.

Life really can suck less, so examine your head, man!

Key Takeaways:

[1:15] What life is like for Janyne now.

[2.16] Janyne defines rumbling.

[4:15] Janyne talks about the transformative experience of learning to set a boundary.

[4:53] Building a sense of self.

[6:20] It's hard to set boundaries when you don't believe you deserve to be your own person.

[7:17] How do you define boundaries?

[12:23] Janyne talks about spiritual abuse.

[19:52] The lack of understanding when it comes to the effects of trauma.

[21:55] Tara talks about her first experience in therapy.

[25:33] Tara and Janyne talk about leadership and abuse.

[27:30] Janyne talks about how understanding God's role in her suffering was crucial in her healing journey.

[28:15] Janyne shares why she didn't include the term spiritual trauma in her third book.

[34:53] Everyone has the right to grow up, transform, and change.

[36:53] Janyne realized there was a part of her that was so much like her mother.

[38:40] What does Janyne's therapy journey look like today?

[44:12] Being a model of vulnerability in the process of healing has great value for others around you.

[47:24] Janyne talks about finally feeling safe in her own skin.

[51:48] Walking into a therapist's office might be the bravest thing you will ever do.

Mentioned in this episode:

Hedman Wellness

Examine Your Hedman Podcast

Visit Examine Your Hedman

Learn more about Janyne McConnaughey

Brave: A Personal Story of Healing Childhood Trauma, Janyne McConnaughey

Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology and How You Can Heal, Donna Jackson Nakazawa

The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity, Dr. Nadine Burke Harris

The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, Jeff Van Vonderen

God Can't: How to Believe in God and Love after Tragedy, Abuse, and Other Evils, Thomas Jay Oord

This podcast is not a substitute for a therapeutic relationship with a mental health professional

Your hosts, Tara Hedman and Diane Thompson, welcome you to another episode of Examine Your Hedman Podcast. They are joined today by Janyne McConnaughey, Ph.D., nationally known trauma-informed author & advocate. She is currently a Distinguished Visiting Professor at Tabor College (Masters in Education: Neuroscience & Trauma) and serves on the Board of Directors for the Attachment & Trauma Network (ATN). Janyne builds on her forty-year career in teaching, teacher education, and an expertise in early childhood development to help educators, caregivers, and church ministry workers understand and apply trauma-informed practices.

This episode is the first part of two, where Janyne openly shares the therapeutic progress she went through to heal from the consequences of the trauma she suffered at a very early age. She dives deep into how she struggled to heal when she was expected to be ok for others, the coping mechanisms she was used to implementing, and how she found that it is never too late to face the trauma that was hidden for years and thrive for the life she deserved.

Life really can suck less, so examine your head, man!

Key Takeaways:

[3:59] Diane shares what grief means to her.

[9:42] Janyne shares what her life looks like today.

[11:50] How Tara and Janyne first met.

[13:48] Janyne shares about the beginning of her recovery process.

[17:55] Janyne talks about EMDR therapy and how it helped in her process.

[19:44] Janyne shares about the first big trauma in her life, being sexually abused at 3 years old in a daycare situation and how that affected her.

[20:18] Janyne shares about the most difficult part of her process in intensive therapy.

[21:16] Janyne talks about what processing means to her.

[25:18] Tara talks about how sometimes counseling looks like the problem.

[26:46] Janyne talks about the hardship of talking about her trauma, even when she was around counselors.

[29:38] Janyne talks about her three parts.

[34:50] Janyne shares about losing time.

[36:13] Janyne talks about the difficulty for her friends and family during her recovery process.

[41:03] In regards to trauma, the slower you go, the faster you heal.

[42:35] Tara talks about her own therapeutic process.

[47:12] Janyne shares more about her childhood.

[51:43] Janyne talks about dissociation as a coping mechanism.

[54:02] Janyne shares about having suicidal ideation and how she didn't want to die, she just wanted the pain to end.

[56:33] How did the memories come back to Janyne?

Mentioned in this episode:

Hedman Wellness

Examine Your Hedman Podcast

Visit Examine Your Hedman

Brave: A Personal Story of Healing Childhood Trauma, Janyne McConnaughey

Learn more about Janyne McConnaughey

This podcast is not a substitute for a therapeutic relationship with a mental health professional

Your hosts, Tara Hedman and Diane Thompson, welcome Barb Torgerson to today's show for the second part of a moving and insightful conversation.

In today's episode, Barb shares her experience going to college and realizing her family was not normal, that her childhood and adolescence were not like what most other people encountered in their upbringings. Barb went through a deep time of crisis, that led her to the beginning of her healing journey. Barb struggled with depression, she shares her most valuable experiences in her own counseling, and how she decided to become a therapist to help others in their healing journeys.

Life really can suck less, so examine your head, man!

Key Takeaways:

[1:20] Barb shares how she experienced being away from her family when she went to college.

[2:27] Barb starts to realize her family was not "normal".

[4:53] The first time in Barb's life that she didn't have to take care of anyone but herself.

[7:01] Barb seeks her vocation and career path.

[8:25] Barb shares how she transitioned from learning to experience joy, to healing.

[9:01] Barb started to see a therapist at senior year of college and that was the beginning of her healing journey.

[11:33] Having children was healing for Barb, even when she thought she didn't want any.

[12:21] When did Barb decide to become a therapist?

[13:40] Barb shares the tools she got from counseling.

[18:20] Barb talks about how she reconciled with her inner child.

[20:05] Barb extends her advice to others struggling to find their inner child.

[22:05] What is different now for Barb as a result of learning to care for her inner child?

[23:28] Barb explains the meaning of dissociation.

[25:12] Barb talks about the current relationship with her siblings.

[26:14] Barb remembers the breaking point in the relationship with her siblings.

[27:55] What were the things outside of therapy that benefited Barb's healing journey?

[31:50] What was the hardest part of Barb's healing journey?

[34:21] Barb shares her words to someone struggling and wondering if it is worth it to get help.

[36:12] What does Barb's life look like today?

[39:04] What does Barb's community look like?

Mentioned in this episode:

Hedman Wellness

Examine Your Hedman Podcast

Visit Examine Your Hedman

Internal Family Systems

Learn more about Barb Torgerson

This podcast is not a substitute for a therapeutic relationship with a mental health professional

Your hosts, Tara Hedman and Diane Thompson, are welcoming Barb Torgerson to today's show. Tara met Barb 3 years ago on a training course where they immediately clicked and became great friends. Barb's honesty and straightforward approach make her unique. Barb is a therapist who works in her own practice and consults with people from different areas.

Today, Barb openly shares her story, the hardships she faced during childhood, her path through grieving, trauma, and later healing.

Life really can suck less, so examine your head, man!

Key Takeaways:

[5:07] Barb talks about the death of her father when she was 13 years old and the breakdown that her mother suffered as a consequence.

[7:08] Barb became the one in charge of her younger siblings.

[8:35] Barb shares how her father attempted to kill her mother on two different occasions.

[11:34] At 14 years old, Barb helped her siblings grieve their father's death.

[14:02] As a teenager, Barb felt exhausted all the time, but since it was her role, she didn't question it.

[16:04] Barb shares a specific memory from her teenage years when her brother was completely out of control and her mother was in the hospital.

[24:15] Barb loved school but no one seemed to notice the suffering and terrible burden she was carrying.

[28:33] When did Barb realize that things should have been different?

[30:05] Barb shares how she planned her way to university.

[31:44] Barb talks about the time they moved to Wichita when she was 8 years old.

[32:55] Barb's mother refused to help Barb if she wanted to study outside of Kansas, but she really wanted to go to Boston.

[35:53] Becoming a parental figure at a young age gave Barb strength while she was also sad, angry, and scared… all of it simultaneously.

[38:41] How did it feel for Barb to finally be free?

[39:45] Barb explains how there was no space for her own grief when she was growing up.

[41:40] Was there a time when it was easier for Barb to connect with herself emotionally?

[43:38] Barb confesses feeling so much relief after her father passed away.

Mentioned in this episode:

Hedman Wellness

Examine Your Hedman Podcast

Visit Examine Your Hedman

Learn more about Barb Torgerson

This podcast is not a substitute for a therapeutic relationship with a mental health professional

Welcome to the first episode of Examine your Hedman Podcast, where you will find some courageous folks sharing the truth about their messy lives, diving deep into their stories of pain, loss, love, fear, and more importantly, healing. Your hosts, Tara Hedman and Diane Thompson are sharing in today's episode who they are, a bit about their stories and struggles, what they do, why they do it, and what the plan is for this podcast for the future.

Life really can suck less, so examine your head, man!

Key Takeaways:

[1:55] Diane and Tara have been friends since their teenage years.

[3:10] Tara shares about the beginning of her own healing journey.

[5:03] Diane shares about herself.

[7:51] Diane talks about an aspect of herself that most people don't know.

[11:33] Tara shares a bit about her story and her work as the owner of Hedman Wellness.

[15:41] The core of this podcast is authenticity.

[18:16] This is a podcast for hope, a podcast that will let you see real people's stories and paths because there are so many ways to heal.

[19:17] Moving to a place where there is no fear of pain and joy.

[20:03] Tara talks about her dog and the vet that saved his life who will be one of the guests of this show.

[20:49] Tara also shares about her assistant who will also be part of this show.

[22:19] Diane talks about an aspect of Tara that the audience should know.

[24:17] Tara shares a particular characteristic about Diane that makes her unique.

[25:30] Why are Tara and Diane doing a podcast like this?

[26:18] Diane talks about her childhood.

[28:23] Diane shares how inspiring her friendship with Tara is to her.

[30:36] Tara shares how at 27 years old she began to have flashbacks and didn't share with anyone for 2 years.

[31:30] Tara opens up about how she felt when realizing her parents didn't really have her back.

[33:30] Tara talks about her favorite people on this planet.

[36:03] Tara decided to see a therapist for the first time and that changed her life completely.

[38:36] Tara talks about the therapeutic process that has helped her and continues to help her in her process for many years.

[39:30] Tara talks about her experience with long-term treatment at The Meadows.

[40:45] Tara shares how she discovered she was born to be a therapist and coach.

[43:30] There is power in really understanding codependency.

[45:06] Tara shares why now she can love people.

[46:02] Tara shares how she found peace and healing in learning to say 'no'.

Mentioned in this episode:

Hedman Wellness

Examine Your Hedman Podcast

The Examine Your Hedman podcast brings you true stories of real people and the courageous paths they have taken as they fight for the lives they've desired. We dive deep into the details of their journeys. We explore love, loss, and longing, but more importantly...healing, and the many paths taken to find it. Tara Hedman, owner of Hedman Wellness and Hedman Counseling Center, is your host. Come explore stories of healing with us.