Expect Delays

A long way down... time is tricky, it erases all of our memories, even the places we thought we remembered. When we return to the past some times things have been torn down, replaced... Or maybe the UDF (United Dairy Farmers) is in the exact same damn spot that is was 20 years ago. Some things never change, the sidewalks just get dirtier. Ohio State Buckeye fans don't play. I go on a bender after I sniff out a coke dealer at a local watering spot. Things go sideways from there. Going to Mom's place in the next episode. Love ya, Pops!

I fell in love with a girl when I was 17, separated, went to college, re-connected, got married, moved to NYC, lived in almost every borough, built our careers, had children, moved to the brooklyn suburbs, moved to the real suburbs, went through drug addictions, alcoholisms, body changes, different hair cuts, fell out of love, had affairs, suffered from betrayals, we're mean to each other, stopped being kind, and got a divorce. It's a human experience, it's a lot. This is my side of the story.

Traveling down route I-70 and I realize I left my debit card back home. Drinking, confusion, memories, and a new temporary bed. I see Molly and meet her autistic son, who cusses a lot.

The new normal begins, ground zero. Wrestling with shame and reflecting on my behavior. Heading back to Ohio to stay with Dad for a bit.

Divorce does something to your mind and heart, it breaks them both. You walk around confused and nostalgic, missing what was, even if it wasn't serving you or it was a toxic situation. You miss your children, the stability, the rhythm, the safeness and comfort. Finding love again is the last thing on your mind. You want to repair what is shattered and broken. Then suddenly someone new enters your life and you get a glimmer of hope that love is possible, and your heartbreak may eventually be restored with a soul satisfying partner that is truly a best friend.

This podcast, at least the first season, will be about my divorce. I was married for 20 years, with my person for 22 years, whom I met in high school many moons ago. Then, abruptly, things fell apart, I was homeless, in rehab, learning to live alone for the first time in my life, and I was broke financially, and broken-hearted. I was alone, erased, replaced, and discarded. It hurt. I'm ok now, but I wanted to document this process because it seems like marriage, for the most part, is not working anymore for a lot of people. I'd like to know why. This will be a warts and all type of examination. Authentic and raw. It's seems to be the only way I can get through the days anymore. I hope this helps someone and maybe alleviates the pain and confusion of losing your person.