Failing Motherhood

In today's quick episode, I break down a key facet to behavior modification I've been supporting a lot of clients with lately! 

It’s not a surefire guarantee toward cupcakes, rainbows and butterflies - but it is necessary shift in your communication that doesn’t contribute to a crash and burn affect.


IN THIS EPISODE I SHARED:

• 2 Examples of effective behavior modification outside of parenting
• What the "Hold the Football" Tool is and why it's critical
• How to apply this tool when a sibling is being pestered in the car

DON'T MISS:

• A challenge for you as you parent this week!

// MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE //
Netflix Series- America's Sweethearts: The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders


// CONNECT WITH DANIELLE //
Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com
IG: @parent_wholeheartedly
APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

My guest today, Holly Murphy, is accomplished in their profession, a devoted parent in love with their kids, a vibrant personality, AND they’re open about how if they knew what they knew NOW back THEN, they would not become a parent. 

You might not agree with Holly, but I know they’re not the only one.  If there’s one thing we are on Failing Motherhood- it’s honest - and that’s why stories like Holly’s have a place here. 

There is nothing more serious than making the commitment to become a parent.  Do you truly know what you’re signing up for?  Can you?

IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED...

• Holly's two different paths into parenthood
• Why we believe parenting is so much harder than teaching (as teachers) 
• Ways to find yourself outside the parent role

DON'T MISS-

• What to do when parenting isn't what you thought it would be

I believe in you + I'm cheering you on.
Come say hi!  I'm @parent_wholeheartedly on Insta.
Apply to work together: parentingwholeheartedly.com/Apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

It's that time of year, when your strong-willed child keeps it together all day at school then lets it all fall apart with you the second they get in the car.

I packed this episode full of perspective, mindset shifts, tangible strategies and preventative measures to equip you with the "game face" you need to tackle this transition.

IN THIS EPISODE I SHARED:

• How to meet them where they're at while still setting boundaries
• Why saying "Stop." "Don't" or "Calm down" won't work and what will instead
• Questions to ask instead of "how was your day?"

DON'T MISS:

• The tool you need to try esp. if you have siblings riding home together

// MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE //

Kids Podcasts I recommend: (find them on Spotify or Apple Podcasts)
PRE-K

• Circle Round
• Quentin and Alfie's ABC Adventures
• Molly of Denali
• Sound Detectives

ELEMENTARY

• The Big Life Kids Podcast
• Story Pirates
• Greeking Out from National Geographic Kids
• What If World
• But Why - A Podcast for Curious Kids
• Smash Boom Best

// CONNECT WITH DANIELLE //
Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com
IG: @parent_wholeheartedly
APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

A special gift for you this week, courtesy of our friends at Moms Talk Autism. Not only did they join me for last week’s episode, but they interviewed me on their show and were kind enough to share it with our audience so I could share it here.

My work specializes in helping families who are struggling with Neurodivergent traits in their child but don’t have a diagnosis yet or whose child does not meet the criteria for a specific diagnosis.

In this episode of Moms Talk Autism, I share what traits to look for in your child and what to do when you’re in the messy middle, in hopes this conversation is a helpful stepping stone to finding solutions for your family.

After you tune into this episode, don’t forget to head over to Moms Talk Autism and check it out... lots of great vulnerable conversations, topics and resources for families with Neurodivergent and Autistic kids!

‌

IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED...

• The dichotomy of strong-willed kids at HOME v. at school
• Jean's 1st hand experience of this with her daughter 20 years ago
• The powerful catalyst of community

DON'T MISS-

• When it feels like you're in an abusive relationship with your child

‌

// CONNECT WITH MOMS TALK AUTISM //
Website: https://www.momstalkautism.com/
Instagram (@momstalkautism)

Apple Podcasts

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

Today I’m sitting down with Brittney and Shannon, two out of the four moms from Moms Talk Autism, a podcast where good friends share their journeys figuring out in real time how to best support their kids and themselves, discussing school, family balance, siblings, grief, therapies, social issues, behaviors, delays, diagnosis advocacy, marriage, and more.

Our conversation highlights their individual stories, Brittney with four kids - two with Autism, both with very different needs and Shannon with an 18 year old and 10 y/o daughter with Autism. They offer honesty, wisdom and advice for other parents in the trenches with them - where there’s no rulebook and a lot of pressure, spanning from protecting your peace, finding your people, and building a new dream.

As we wrap up, they reflect on the beautiful ways they’ve changed as people as a result of parenting their kids.

IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED...

• Trusting your gut when you know something is wrong
• "My child has not changed, your perception of them has..."
• Moments that are gut-wrenching alongside moments of gratitude

DON'T MISS-

• Diversifying your friendship portfolio

// CONNECT WITH MOMS TALK AUTISM //
Website: https://www.momstalkautism.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/momstalkautism/
Link Tree: https://linktr.ee/momstalkautism
Apple Podcasts
Shannon's Instagram
Brittney's Instagram

I believe in you + I'm cheering you on.
Come say hi!  I'm @parent_wholeheartedly on Insta.
Apply to work together: parentingwholeheartedly.com/Apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

Have you ever been told, "I HATE YOU" by your child?
Or even worse "You're not coming to my birthday party!"

Parents of strong-willed kids (esp. mom) can become the scapegoat for the anger they harbor, and it can lead to parents hearing things like “You don’t love me”.

This often causes a spiral into permissiveness to avoid conflict, anxiety, and/or a lot of self-doubt as a parent.

Spoiler Alert: They don’t hate you. They hate feeling crazy and all alone with their BIG emotions. And we do too.

‌

IN THIS EPISODE I SHARED:

• My CRAZY week and what led me to resent my husband
• 7 things they hate MORE than you
• The prerequisite to building the momentum that’s needed to problem solve forward together

DON'T MISS:

• How to interpret and respond when your child says “I HATE YOU!”

‌

// MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE //
Episode 111 (June 2023): “Why are they so angry?”

‌

// CONNECT WITH DANIELLE //
Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com
IG: @parent_wholeheartedly
APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

You are gonna be pretty hard-pressed to find more honesty than what is inside this conversation! In today's episode, I have the honor of interviewing Joseph and Sarah, my clients + parents of 6- and 21-year-old daughters. 

Together they share the shifts that made it possible to stop triggering their daughter's defense mechanism, get on the same page, and have an approach and home full of mutual respect.

Fair warning - Joseph describes himself as a blunt, "tell-it-like-it-is" kind of guy, and that is exactly what we get from him. No fluff, no sugarcoating; the real deal.
He has gone from being incredibly skeptical of gentle parenting itself, let alone my program or working with me, to being on my podcast.

This episode might speak deepest to Gen X'ers, dads, or any/all parents that were raised not to ask for help.

If your partner is skeptical of how you're trying to parent, send them this episode. 

IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED...

• The breaking point that made change possible
• Joseph's powerful realizations that allowed him to stop fighting with Harper
• A new way to define "gentle parenting", esp. for strong-willed kids

DON'T MISS-

• Sarah + Joseph's two LIFESAVERS for bedtime

I believe in you + I'm cheering you on.
Come say hi!  I'm @parent_wholeheartedly on Insta.
Apply to work together: parentingwholeheartedly.com/Apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

Parents are inundated with messages from complete strangers on the Internet and in person reiterating "You're going to miss this!" "It goes SO fast!" "The mess can wait!"

The problem is... sometimes the mess can't wait, you might NOT miss this stage, or there's so much more to look forward to!

Let's stop forcing undue pressure on parents and instead, consider the hope and gratitude in a more longterm approach.


IN THIS EPISODE I SHARED:

• A viral post and a well-written rebuttal 
• The lies I believed and what I believe now as a mom to 10 + 11 y/o's
• Permission to step away without guilt

DON'T MISS:

• The best might be yet to come

* Failing Motherhood will be on break until August. *

// MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE //
FB Post: Last Time for Everything by Shay Toler


// CONNECT WITH DANIELLE //
Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com
IG: @parent_wholeheartedly
APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

Happy Father's Day, dads!

My guests today, Kevin + Evan, are two stay-at-home dad comedians trying to let parents know the struggle is normal and we’re doing better than we think. 

You might already follow them as they’ve been featured on Good Morning America, Momsplaining with Kristen Bell, & Today and go viral often on TikTok and Instagram for bits like "Dad Press Conferences".

‌They’ve set out to be relatable dads that can poke fun out of the bizarre experience that parenting is, fight the stigma of the bar being on the floor for dads and give parents permission to laugh at themselves and their kids, knowing they’re not alone.

They say they're failing fatherhood, but I pull some great parenting perspective out of them inside this episode!

IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED...

• Some of the most patronizing moments they've had as SAHD's
• How they find the line of what to share online
• How to add the Improv tool of "Yes, And" to your parenting toolkit

DON'T MISS-

• Why they're already the parents they wish they were

// CONNECT WITH KEVIN & EVAN //
‎Dumb Dad Podcast on Apple Podcasts
Instagram: @thedumbdads
TikTok: The Dumb Dads

I believe in you + I'm cheering you on.
Come say hi!  I'm @parent_wholeheartedly on Insta.
Apply to work together: parentingwholeheartedly.com/Apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

Ryan Allen, LPCC-S, LPC, is a licensed therapist with a decade of expertise working with young children and their families.  A parent of two young kids, Ryan creates free resources for nearly 1 million parents and child caregivers on both TikTok and IG, providing guidance and support to shift away from traditional punitive approaches towards fostering environments of mutual respect.

I intentionally bring up several controversial topics to get his thoughts.

Is it true....

• That therapists are perfect parents?
• That your pediatrician’s advice is the golden rule?
• That kids grow out of behaviors?
• That you shouldn’t say “good job”?
• That you have to read to your kids every night?
• That all it takes to extinguish a behavior is playing your cards right?
• Is there such a thing as a naughty or bad kid?
• If your child knows better and does it anyway, isn’t that manipulation? Shouldn’t you take it personally?
• Do we need to fix a behavior right away or else it will get worse?

IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVER -

• Two questions to ask yourself to actually stop a negative behavior
• The insight that completely shifted Ryan’s professional approach
• An alternative approach to the red/green/yellow clip charts

DON’T MISS:

• What to do when behavior feels disrespectful

// MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE //
Beyond Behavior by Mona Delahooke
Dan Siegel books
Punished by Rewards by Alfie Kohn
No Bad Kids by Janet Lansbury

// CONNECT WITH RYAN //
Tiktok: @preschooltherapy
Instagram: @preschooltherapist
Website: http://Preschooltherapist.com

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident