In this episode, the author chronicles how a central, New York City branch of the United States Post Office has, on three occasions, actively thwarted enrollment in package delivery for her P.O. Box so that she remains forced to give out her home address.

When asked if such occurrences are normal for this major NYC Post Office, the Postal clerk consulted on the day prior to this episode’s recording stated, “I’ve never seen this before.”

Bonus colorful rants about her failed acting career and the time the USPS sent back all her Degas Christmas postcards in 2020.

In spite of it all, the author is a loyal customer of the United States Postal Service.

Someone erased my yoga mat in 2015 and I still can’t hep but feel attacked.

In this special, Fourth of July Episode, we explore whether Scientology Fair Game was being used to spark a very different Fourth of July Episode in the author—the psychotic kind that usually takes place at Target and winds up on YouTube. Fortunately, I deftly outmaneuvered the Church’s real or imagined attempts yet again—but, as always, questions remain.

In most cases, it’s better to risk romantic rejection and use it as a learning experience rather than record a conspiracy theory podcast accusing your crush of being the central honeytrap in an elaborate multi-interest black-ops. That is why following my instincts has been all the more crucial in this highly unusual process.

Did a project, called “The Suicide Tape,” cast me during my junior year at NYU for clandestine purposes, in case Scientology ever needed to murder me and stage it as a suicide—or am I just a crappy actor? Obviously, the first option is the correct one. Trigger Warning.

Unfortunately, as we all know, dancing is forbidden. Think of this as less of a witch hunt and more of a witch inquiry.

When a train conductor purposely dumps you at the wrong stop on the last train of the night…is it an assassination attempt…or stealth marketing for the “American Traitor” novel?

"Both of them had a very Rasputin-like magnetism...with Julia, I would say my personality had been so closely studied by multiples operatives at that point, Julia only had to use a series of triggers, and neurolinguistic programming, to activate what, from all outside appearances, could have been portrayed as inexplicable, one-sided erotomania on my part."

Sidestepping and backtracking, if I may, has anyone heard of Transcandental Meditation? I ask mostly to be petty, and because I am a David Lynch fan. And because I want Mexican food. Darnit, I knew I joined the wrong cult.

Witness the cultural birth of the f*ckboy-that muse who inspires a thousand masterpieces-and how this archetype relates to class and systems of behavioral modification.

Was someone trying to put me in Jordan Peele's "sunken place" like in the movie "Get Out" in order to make me into an expendable? Or is everyone's job just like this? As long as it makes my art good, I don't care. America runs on sunken.