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The Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man and He took one of his ribs and the rib he made into a woman and brought her to the man. God creates Eve in Genesis 2. So, man and woman were made of the same flesh, but still with important differences. Today host Rob West welcomes Compass founder Howard Dayton to discuss how those differences affect the way spouses view money. Howard Dayton has written several books about God’s financial principles and today we’re diving into one of our favorites,Money and Marriage God’s Wayto find out why and how spouses often differ over finances.Then it’s your calls at 800-525-7000.
The late Larry Burkett used to say, If the husband and wife were both the same, one of them would be unnecessary!"That said, sometimes spouses need to reconcile differences to avoid conflict. For example, one spouse might be a saver, the other a spender. That’s still not a problem, unless they can’t agree on a budget and stick to it.
Your spouse was given to you by God to complete you, not frustrate you. We all have strengths and we all have weaknesses. These differences can be caused by our gender, background, personality, and relationship with God. The failure of couples to understand how these differences affect their financial attitudes and management can lead to deep hurt.
But when husband and wife recognize these differences, they can each rely on the other’s strengths to compensate for their own weaknesses.
First, women are generally more security oriented than men. Guys tend to be more comfortable taking risks and piling on debt. The second basic difference between men and women is that most husbands feel the burden of providing for the family. They take 1 Timothy 5:8 to heart"If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever."
Couples need to discuss their different backgrounds with each other and evaluate how they’ve been influenced by their parents' financial attitudes and values. What influences have been healthy and which ones haven’t? How can you work together to utilize the positive influences in your marriage?
Couples have different financial personalities. Some are savers, some are spenders. Some are careful to budget, and others are impulse spenders. Some are givers and others are hoarders. Not recognizing your spouse's financial personality usually leads to frustration.
Spiritual differences need to be addressed if a couple is to truly become financially one. There is often a substantial difference in financial mindset between one who knows Jesus Christ as Savior and one who does not.
If you want to yield your marriage, your finances, and your entire life to God, tell Him so. Ask Him to help you. Submitting to Christ as Lord may be costly to your pride, but the benefits of allowing the Spirit of God free rein in your life are phenomenal. Galatians 5 tells us, "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."
Here are a couple of questions we answered from our callers on today’s program:
My husband and I have never been on the same page financially. How do we work on this?
My wife and I purchased a home about a year ago. Should we refinance?
Howard Dayton has been our guest today. His book,Money and Marriage God’s Way is available at MoneyWise.org.
Ask your questions at (800) 525-7000 or email them [email protected]. Visit our website atMoneyWise.orgwhere you can connect with a MoneyWise Coach, purchase books, and even download free, helpful resources like the MoneyWise app.
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