Family Looking Up

There is power in feeling gratitude.  Studies have shown that your brain releases serotonin and dopamine when gratitude is felt, which leads to an immediate sense of happiness.

Nancy Davis Kho, a freelance writer, podcaster on Midlife Mixtape, and author took this idea of gratitude to a whole new level.  Instead of just feeling gratitude she decided to express it.

She has written a book called "The Thank You Project", which is a culmination of thank you letters she wrote every week over the period of one year to those whom she felt had impacted and shaped her.  

She joined us this week to discuss the book, her experiences, and the power of gratitude.

Did you know that ⅓ of all college freshmen transfer to another college after just one year?  For parents investing time, energy, and money into the decision of where to go to college, this statistic can be distressing. 

If your child is one of the 4.2 million high school seniors applying to college this year, this interview is one you won’t want to miss. 

Helping kids choose the right college (the first time around) will save you and them a lot of heartache and money.

In this week’s episode, Beth, Andrea and Camille each share a struggle that we have had in our personal life, our marriage, and in our parenting.  We talk about the struggle, and then we share some of the answers and solutions that we have found to be helpful. We hope that as you listen you will be able to relate, to empathize, and to receive comfort in your struggles.  We truly are all in this together. Thank you for allowing us to walk life’s journey with you!

Today we are focusing on teaching our kids leadership skills.  It’s one of those things that some kids come with and some don’t, but if it isn’t intrinsically within them is it worth teaching it to them?   At its simplest a leader is defined as the inspiration and director of the action.  Perhaps we don’t care at all whether they inspire or direct other people, but what about whether they have the ability to stand on their own and not follow the crowd when they feel strongly about something?  In this world, there are so many pitfalls to avoid. Teaching children leadership skills will help them learn to inspire and direct others to a better, safer, smarter, happier or simply different path. 

Ahhh the toddler years.  A time when mom’s are the reason for a tiny person's supreme happiness and, moments later, the epitome of evil who has ruined said toddlers life.  And all of that is within the first 30 minutes of any given day. As mom’s of MANY former and current toddlers we want to offer you some survival tips to help you NOT DIE as you navigate this ever-changing and incredibly treacherous path called the toddler years.

On this week's episode Beth, Andrea, and Camille talk about all things toddlers.  We laugh A LOT about the ups and downs of daily life with those adorable and angry little elves, we try to offer up some valuable advice for navigating these years, and we talk about the products that were game changers and worth every penny to purchase.  We hope you enjoy this funny and uplifting episode!

In many ways being a parent is the scariest occupation out there.  Nevermind the teething, potty training, and tantrums (all scary in their own right), but how about the idea that every day of a childs life parents are either preparing that child to eventually launch from home or they are enabling dependence so the child fails to launch.  Talk about paralyzing pressure!  

This week we have Lisa Bishop on our show discussing this issue of raising kids so that they can actually leave home and launch.  Lisa has worked as a family therapist with many clients who are struggling with this issue, either as the parent or as the child.

Mom guilt is as much of a reality to moms as dirty toilets in a house full of children.  Fun fact, both of them have a lot in common! They both stink, they both make a mom feel terrible about herself, and it takes some work to get rid of each of them.  However, closing our eyes to them, to pretend they don’t exist, eventually leads to hazardous mental and physical conditions. No woman ever wants or deserves a mental state that resembles a neglected bathroom, but that’s what she gets if the mom guilt isn’t checked and combated.  

You know those people who just seem to get you? They truly understand when you are hurting? They know how to help you? They know the right things to say?  Well, I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE! That is not a gift God gave me. I am ashamed to admit I am severely lacking in the empathy department. It is a skill that I truly admire in others, but seem to fall remarkably short in.  

If Camille were here to write this post, you would get some great advice and anecdotes about how to use the skill of empathy in your life. Unfortunately for you, but lucky for Camille, she is traveling through Ireland right now. So rather than try and preach hypocrisy, I will let the experts take over.

Enter Figs O’Sullivan

Enter our guest this week on the podcast Figs O’Sullivan.  Fig is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in San Francisco. He is a certified Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist, and the creator of the Empathi Method.  His practice emphasizes the use of empathy to build your relationships.

Here is what we talked about:

1. The “issue” we are struggling with our spouse, usually isn’t the real issue.
2. There are four people in each relationship: Our vulnerable self, Our protector, The vulnerable self of our spouse, The protector self of our spouse
3. The underlying cause of marital disagreement is that we love each other- its an emotional bonding issue.
4. When two people love each other they get their feelings hurt.
5. Connection is the best comfort 
6. Empathy is staying vulnerable and feeling with our spouse who is hurting
7. The challenge with the boomerang cycle in marriage: We throw the boomerang (something that verbally or emotionally hurts our spouse) and it comes back to us and we get hurt also.
8. When our feelings and experiences become valid, people can repair.

Mom Squad Challenge: Describe at least one disconnect you get into with your spouse as a systemic problem.  How did it start? What was done? How did it affect you? See the problem as a “we” problem, not a “me or you” problem.

Visit Fig's Website: Empathi to find out more about him and purchase his great courses.  Use Promo Code: Familylookingup to get 50% his Learning To Love Better Course

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Andrea

Do you stress about how to educate your kids about money? 

How young is too young?  Do you give an allowance or not?  How do you handle money when teens are earning some of their own? 

The questions never end.  If parents choose to let societal norms teach for them they are guaranteeing that a steady diet of debt and instant gratification will prevail.

Ericka Young is with us this week talking about how to successfully teach financial literacy to our kids.  She shares 6 tips for success with our kids.

A celebration and thank you to our Mom Squad for sticking with us for the first 100 episodes!  Beth, Andrea and Camille discuss what they have learned and how they have changed over the course of 100 episodes.  They also share insights about each other, out each other on our likes and dislikes and talk about behind the scenes laughs and insights.