Do you lie awake at night running through every possible “what if” about your adult child?

What if they make the wrong choice?
What if they don’t land on their feet?
Should I call? Should I say something? Should I bite my tongue?

In this episode of Bite Your Tongue, Denise welcomes back psychologist and parent coach Jeffrey Bernstein, author of Freeing Your Child from Overthinking, to unpack the difference between anxiety and overthinking — and why that distinction matters so much in relationships with adult children.

What You’ll Learn:

• Why overthinking is a mental habit — not just anxiety
• How parents unintentionally fuel their adult child’s anxiety
• Why “less is more” is often the most loving response
• The danger of becoming a SWAT Team Parent
• How to support an overthinking adult child without fixing or rescuing
• The power of validation over advice
• How retirement and extra time can increase parental overthinking

The PACE Method

Dr. Bernstein introduces a simple but powerful tool:

P — Pause
A — Acknowledge
C — Contain
E — Engage

When parents regulate their own overthinking, adult children don’t have to defend against it.

Key Takeaway:

Overthinking fuels anxiety — and anxiety leaks into relationships.
But calm, collaborative parenting builds emotional safety.

Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is stop managing… and start mentoring.

If this resonated, tap follow, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review—your support helps more families find their footing.

Don't forget about our listening line at 719.347.1106. 

We hope all of you will call to share their stories, ideas, episodes they liked or did not like.  We'd like to begin answering these questions in each episode.  So give us a call now at
719-347-1106.

We are on SUBSTACK now too - with "Behind the Mic."  We talk about how the episode resonated with us and share some inside scoop that you won't want to miss.

Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much. 

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Huge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  

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The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Family estrangement is one of the most painful and least discussed challenges parents face today.

In this deeply personal and controversial episode, Denise speaks with journalist, entrepreneur, and author Laura Wellington, known online as Doormat Mom No More. After raising five children as a widowed mother, Laura found herself unexpectedly cut off by one of her adult daughters—an experience that left her heartbroken and searching for answers.

She tried desperately to find other parents who were suffering with similar loss.  But noone came forward.  Then, she did what she never thought she would do - put a video about her problem on TikTok.  What followed was something she never anticipated: thousands of parents reaching out with similar stories. She's been featured in so many places including The Wall Street Journal, People Magazine and The Doctor Phil TV Show. 

Laura is a bright accomplished woman and her story will resonate with many.  It's more than just about estrangement.  It's about finding yourself.

This conversation is raw, complicated, and at times uncomfortable—but it’s one many families are quietly navigating.

Whether you’re a parent, an adult child, or someone trying to understand a fractured relationship, this episode opens the door to a conversation we’re not having nearly enough.

Check out Laura's book -- Doormat Mom, No More! When Good Parents Finally say "Enough" to Their Ungrateful Kids.

If this episode resonates with you, we want to hear your story.

📞 Call the Bite Your Tongue listener line: 719-347-1106

You can also email us at [email protected].

We are on SUBSTACK now too - with "Behind the Mic."  We talk about how the episode resonated with us and share some inside scoop that you won't want to miss.  

Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much. 

Facebook

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Huge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  

Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Are you a grandparent?  If so, listen to this episode.

 Boundaries, burnout, and big feelings—grand parenting can be a joy and a minefield at the same time. We invited Dee Dee Moore, founder of More Than Grand, to help us navigate the messy middle: when “free” childcare starts costing a family its energy, when in-law dynamics get prickly, and when love needs the guardrails of a clear agreement to thrive.

We start with a listener story about an eager grandmother who slid from helping to shouldering everything—until resentment and health issues made the arrangement unsustainable. Dee Dee helps the listener with her question and adds lots of tips when you are deciding to help with childcare. 

Then we turn to feeling shut out by a daughter-in-law. Dee Dee reframes the “gatekeeper” idea and urges us to build a direct relationship with her as a person, not just our child’s spouse. We share examples of compliments that actually land, small trust-building gestures, and how counseling can open space when everyone is stuck. 

We also tackle overbuying—why today’s parents want fewer things—and offer better ways to show love, from experiences to intentional support that fits their home and values.

Underneath it all is an identity shift: moving from fixer to “privileged bystander,” present and steady without calling the shots. We discuss preventing estrangement with early expectation-setting, learning modern safety and care practices, and staying curious instead of reactive. If you’re a new or seasoned grandparent looking for clarity, scripts, and a calmer path forward, this conversation offers tools you can use today.

If this resonated, tap follow, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review—your support helps more families find their footing.

Don't forget about our listening line at 719.347.1106. 

We hope all of you will call to share their stories, ideas, episodes they liked or did not like.  We'd like to begin answering these questions in each episode.  So give us a call now at
719-347-1106.

We are on SUBSTACK now too - with "Behind the Mic."  We talk about how the episode resonated with us and share some inside scoop that you won't want to miss.

Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much. 

Facebook

 Instagram

Huge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  

Support the show

Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

This episode is for mothers walking on eggshells.
For daughters who feel judged.
For families who love each other deeply but don’t know how to stop hurting each other.

In this powerful episode of Bite Your Tongue, Denise Gorant speaks with Leslie Glass and her daughter Lindsey Glass about the hardest—and most hopeful—parts of the mother-daughter relationship. Co-authors of The Mother-Daughter Relationship Makeover and its companion workbook, Leslie and Lindsey share their deeply personal journey through addiction, family conflict, estrangement, and reconciliation. Together, they explore why these relationships fracture, how communication breaks down, and what real repair actually looks like.

What We Cover:

• Why mothers and daughters trigger each other so deeply
• The independence vs. control conflict baked into motherhood
• How “helpful” comments about food, weight, or appearance become landmines
• What makes a fight toxic—and what makes it repairable
• Why estrangement can feel safer than staying in conflict
• How apologies, accountability, and boundaries rebuild trust
• Practical tools for changing communication patterns
• Why healing starts with self-work—not changing the other person

Leslie and Lindsey also share practical tools from their workbook—like replacement phrases that diffuse tension, ways to identify triggers before they explode, and why doing the work separately (not together) can be the most honest starting point.

One of the most powerful ideas from this conversation is simple but uncomfortable: "You have to decide whether you want to be right—or whether you want to stay connected."

Healing doesn’t require perfection. It requires awareness, accountability, compassion—and sometimes knowing when to bite your tongue.

We’re also launching our new listener phone line. We hope all of you will call to share their stories, ideas, episodes they liked or did not like.  We'd like to begin answering these questions in each episode.  So give us a call now at
719-347-1106.

Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much. 

Facebook

 Instagram

Huge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  

Support the show

Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

This is a controversial episode — and we want to hear from you.

📞 Bite Your Tongue Phone Line: (719) 347-1106
Call and share your thoughts, questions, or experiences.

🎁 FREE BOOK GIVEAWAY:
The first caller will receive a free copy of FCK Them Kids*. Leave your name and email.

Family estrangement has gone mainstream — from Oprah to headlines about celebrity families — and the narrative is almost always the same: parents are to blame.

But what if that story isn’t complete?

In this emotionally charged and controversial episode, Denise is joined by psychologist and author Vivian King, PhD, whose book F* Them Kids* challenges what she calls the one-sided narrative of the estrangement epidemic. Vivian speaks candidly about her own experience with estrangement, the role of social media and therapy culture, and why many loving, non-abusive parents are being dehumanized and silenced.

This conversation is not about dismissing adult children’s pain — it’s about expanding the dialogue, questioning cultural assumptions, and asking hard questions about accountability, boundaries, and dignity on both sides.

Whether you agree or disagree, this episode invites you to listen with curiosity, courage, and an open mind.  We will talk about:

• The rise of “no contact” culture and the language of blame
• How social media and online echo chambers reinforce estrangement
• When therapy helps — and when it harms
• Why many estranged parents are not abusive or neglectful
• The emotional toll of estrangement on parents
• Should parents apologize “no matter what”?
• How to hold on to dignity, self-worth, and joy when a child cuts contact
• Why this conversation makes so many people uncomfortable — and why it matters

Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much. 

Facebook

 Instagram

Huge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  

Support the show

Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Send us your feedback here:  [email protected] or give us a ring at 719-347-1106. Tell us what is on your mind.  

Now on to today's episode:

What if the hardest part of parenting adult children isn’t knowing what to do—but knowing when to stop?

In this episode of Bite Your Tongue, Denise sits down with licensed therapist and author Joanna Hardis to unpack her counterintuitive but powerful philosophy: doing nothing can be one of the most supportive things a parent does.

Joanna introduces the concept of distress tolerance—our ability to sit with discomfort without reacting—and explains why parents so often over-function, over-talk, over-explain, and over-apologize when their adult children struggle. While it may feel helpful in the moment, those reactions are often driven by our own anxiety rather than our child’s actual needs.

Together, Denise and Joanna explore:

• Why parents confuse love with action—and how that backfires
• How “doing nothing” is not abandonment, but emotional regulation
• The difference between responding thoughtfully vs. reacting emotionally
• Why swooping in sends the message “I don’t trust you”
• How over-talking and people-pleasing quietly erode connection
• The shift from doing mode to being mode in parenting
• Practical, small “weight-lifting” exercises to build distress tolerance

Joanna offers concrete tools parents can start using today—beginning with something surprisingly simple: putting your phone down and sitting with discomfort.

This conversation is a must-listen for parents who love deeply, worry constantly, and want healthier, calmer relationships with their adult children—without losing themselves in the process.

Guest Resources: 🌐 JoannaHardis.com

We’re also launching our new listener phone line. We hope all of you will call to share their stories, ideas, episodes they liked or did not like.  We'd like to begin answering these questions in each episode.  So give us a call now at
719-347-1106.

Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much. 

Facebook

 Instagram

Huge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  

Support the show

Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Send us your feedback here:  [email protected] or give us a ring at 719-347-1106. Tell us what is on your mind.  On to today's episode:

Happy New Year.  We’re kicking off a new season with a best-of compilation of expert advice from 2025, focused on one thing: building healthier relationships with adult children. This episode brings together the most effective, field-tested tools from last season’s most impactful conversations—practical shifts in language, mindset, and boundaries that truly change the tone at home.

You’ll hear guidance on listening without fixing, navigating money and gifts, welcoming partners, easing tension through simple communication tweaks, and more.

We’re also launching our new listener phone line. We hope all of you will call to share their stories, ideas, episodes they liked or did not like.  We'd like to begin answering these questions in each episode.  So give us a call now at
719-347-1106.

Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much. 

Facebook

 Instagram

Huge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  

Support the show

Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Ready to upgrade your relationship with your grown kids without losing yourself in the process? 

We sit down with clinical psychologist and author Dr. Francine Toder author of the amazing book:  "Your Kids are Grown: Parenting 2.O."  

We unpack Parenting 2.0—the shift from managing to relating, from control to connection. If you’ve felt that knot in your stomach after a call, questioned whether your help is actually helpful, or wondered how to be close without being intrusive, this conversation offers a practical, hopeful roadmap.

We dive into the subtle habits that erode trust:

• talking more than half the time, offering unsolicited advice
•  giving gifts with hidden strings—and how to replace them with adult-to-adult skills: empathy, permission-based feedback, and clear agreements. 

Francine explains why tension can spike even after children are “launched,” how generational shifts created over-involvement, and why your body’s stress signals are a cue to pause, not push. We tackle money head-on, exploring when support fosters growth, how to set timelines and expectations, and how to recognize double messages that quietly sabotage connection.

If you’re ready to listen more, judge less, and build a relationship that feels mutual rather than parental, this episode will meet you where you are and show you the next step. Pick up Dr. Toder’s “Your Kids Are Grown: Parenting 2.0,” grab her Parenting 2.0 tip sheet, and join our community as we grow on purpose.

Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much. 

Facebook

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Huge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  

Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

We know this isn’t our usual topic about building healthy relationships with adult children—but when we met Joe Dooley, we knew we had to share his story.  Even if this episode helps just one person—it’s worth it.

In honor of No Shave November, we’re taking a short detour to talk about prostate cancer—a subject that affects millions of families, often quietly. Joe, a 65-year-old living with advanced-stage prostate cancer, opens up about his journey from diagnosis to remission. He talks about what he wishes he had known, and why awareness and early testing matter so much.

Joe puts it best:

Joe's story proves why understanding age-specific PSA ranges (not just "normal and "abnormal" is critical for men over 40, especially those with family history or genetic risk factors (and the BRCA Gene matters!)

This episode isn’t just about health—it’s about communication and connection. Joe shares how he’s been open and honest with his three adult sons about his diagnosis and treatment, and how those conversations brought them closer. His story reminds us that transparency and vulnerability can strengthen our relationships—especially during tough times.

And ladies—this one’s for you too. As Joe says, partners and family members can make a real difference by encouraging the men in their lives to get tested and talk about their health.

At the start of the episode, Joe shares a powerful quote that now sits proudly on my desktop. You’ll have to tune in to hear it—but I promise, you’ll love Joe and his story as much as we do.

(note: Joe is not a doctor - this is a personal story from his experience and what he has learned.)

Links: Joe Dooley The Full Story 

Huge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  

Email us at [email protected] with ideas/feedback.

Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much.

Facebook

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Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

The holidays are upon us.  It's time to dig deep.

Catherine Hickem, founder of Parenting Adult Children Today (PACT). Catherine shares a hopeful, practical roadmap for parents who want less tension and more trust—especially as the holidays bring everyone under one roof.

We dig into why adult children often act different around their parents and how expectations, tone, and boundaries can either smother or strengthen the relationship.   We discuss:

• the hidden cost of parental expectations on adult children
• why rescues undermine confidence and fuel estrangement
• shifting from advice to curiosity with practical scripts
• separating our self-worth from kids’ choices
• tone of voice as an anxiety dial in hard talks
• setting and holding fair house rules when kids move home
• preparing for holidays with boundaries, space and new traditions
• grieving lost visions so joy can return

Please follow us on social media now.  It helps us so much. 

Facebook

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Huge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  

Check out Catherine’s free resource: Seven Keys To Talking With Your Adult Children at leaderpass.com/parenting-adult-children-today/preview

Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.