Whitney breaks down dysfunctional family dynamics in Real Housewives of Miami and The Summer I Turned Pretty, then answers a caller's question about healing from the pain of having an enabling parent who failed to protect them from an abusive narcissistic parent. Enabling parents are often harder to process than overtly abusive ones and Whitney details what finding acceptance actually looks like.

Have a question for Whitney? Record a voice memo on your phone and email it to [email protected] or leave a voicemail to 866-225-5466

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute 

for professional mental health advice.

00:00 Family Cycle Breakers Club Community Update

05:02 Real Housewives of Miami: When Parents Take Credit for Your Success

08:19 Family Estrangement After Late-Life Adoption

13:18 The Summer I Turned Pretty: Should Parents Boycott Major Life Events

16:22 Q&A: How to Heal From an Enabling Parent Who Never Protected You

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Whitney Goodman interviews Dr. Ingrid Clayton about her new book "Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves and How to Find Our Way Back." They explore fawning as the fourth trauma response, how it differs from people-pleasing and codependency, why children and marginalized people develop this survival strategy, and how it can masquerade as success while leading to complete self-abandonment.

Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves-and How to Find Our Way Backhttps://www.ingridclayton.com/

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute 

for professional mental health advice.

00:00 Dr. Clayton's Discovery of Fawning Through Her Own Trauma

04:26 Why Fawning Isn't About Shame - It's About Survival

09:00 How to Recognize Fawning in Your Own Life

12:16 The Connection Between Fawning and Family Estrangement

19:49 Fawning vs. People-Pleasing vs. Codependency

22:13 When Fawning Looks Like Success

27:46 Growing Out of the Fawning Response

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SPOILER WARNING: This episode contains major spoilers for the Netflix documentary "Unknown Number: The High School Catfish"

Whitney analyzes the Netflix documentary by exploring the psychology behind extreme parental abuse and manipulation. She examines the case through the lens of child psychology, trauma bonding, and the devastating impact when a parent orchestrates elaborate schemes to control and isolate their child while positioning themselves as the sole source of comfort and support.

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute 

for professional mental health advice.

00:00 Introduction to the Unknown Number Case

08:11 The Shocking Revelation: When the Abuser Becomes the Comforter

15:27 Understanding Abusive Parents Who Don't See Themselves as Abusive

21:07 The Predatory Behavior and Hidden Motivations

23:26 Trauma Bonding and Why Children Protect Their Abusers

27:43 The Difficulty of Admitting Your Parent Harmed You

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Whitney interviews Michelle Dempsey-Multack about how to protect children during divorce and co-parenting. They debunk the myth that divorce inherently harms children, exploring how the quality of the divorce experience—not the divorce itself—determines the impact on kids. The conversation includes practical strategies for healthy co-parenting, introducing new partners, and handling difficult conversations with children.
Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.
Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute 

for professional mental health advice.

00:00 Debunking Divorce Myths: It's About How You Handle It

02:45 Staying Together for the Kids vs. Healthy Single Parenting

08:00 How to Have a Good Divorce: Separating Emotions from Parenting

13:14 Speaking Poorly About the Other Parent and Its Long-Term Impact

20:16 Balancing Protection with Facilitating Relationships

33:11 Introducing New Partners: Timing and Red Flags

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Too often the phrase “grow up” is code for ignoring your past and repressing your childhood trauma. This dismissive “get over it” mentality fails to ever reach a healthy emotional maturity. Join Whitney as she explores what it actually means to acknowledge your past, set boundaries, and embrace your adult power.

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute 

for professional mental health advice.

00:00 What People Think Growing Up Means

04:22 The Real Process of Growing Up: Acknowledgment and Mourning

08:45 Decentering Unhealthy Relationships and the Double Bind

14:13 Taking Accountability as an Adult

16:54 Building Emotional Maturity and Self-Trust

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In this Q&A episode, Whitney responds to a thoughtful listener question about self-reflection in family relationships - specifically when calling out parents' hurtful behavior makes them withdraw and feel bad about themselves leading to guilt about whether you're part of the problem. She also discusses Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's engagement then explores troubling father-son enmeshment patterns she's observing in shows like McBee Dynasty.

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute 

for professional mental health advice.

05:18 McBee Dynasty and Toxic Father-Son Dynamics

10:07 Family Secrets: September's Topic

14:52 When Parents Walk on Eggshells Around You

22:14 Q&A: How to Know If You're Part of the Problem

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Can estranged family relationships actually be repaired? Drawing from research on reconciliation, Whitney outlines the five core ingredients necessary for genuine repair - active empathetic listening, accountability, behavioral change, mutual willingness, and safety. Whitney distinguishes between genuine repair efforts and surface-level compliance, explains when relationships are likely unsalvageable, and provides practical guidance for assessing whether reconciliation is truly possible or if it's time to accept the relationship's limitations.

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

03:42 The Five Core Ingredients of Family Repair

13:09 When Relationships Are Unsalvageable

23:05 Genuine Repair vs Surface-Level Compliance

28:33 Assessing Capacity for Change

https://callinghome.co/topics/family-estrangement/how-to-begin-reconciliation-with-an-estranged-family-member

https://callinghome.co/topics/family-estrangement/should-we-be-estranged-checklist 

https://callinghome.co/topics/accepting-your-parents/i-m-estranged-from-my-dying-parent-should-i-reconnect-and-help-them 

[1] Kelley, D. L., Waldron, V. R., & Kloeber, D. N. (2019). A Communicative Approach to Conflict, Forgiveness, and Reconciliation. Routledge. https://www.routledge.com/A-Communicative-Approach-to-Conflict-Forgiveness-and-Reconciliation-Reimagining-Our-Relationships/Kelley-Waldron-Kloeber/p/book/9781138052666?srsltid=AfmBOoq4iGgtwMAvbAv4-FKP9EOORNLadpnlRmmGIY_rXYPEvirm7Ymr 

[2] Tomm, K. (2002). Enabling Forgiveness and Reconciliation in Family Therapy. The International Journal of Narrative Therapy and Community Work. https://dulwichcentre.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/13-KarlT2.pdf 

[3] Blood, P. (2012). The Repair and Restoration of Relationships. In Springer eBook (pp. 349-370). https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-94-007-2147-0_17 

[4] vanOyen Witvliet, C., Root Luna, L. M., Worthington, E. L., & Tsang, J. (2020). Apology and Restitution: The Psychophysiology of Forgiveness After Accountable Relational Repair Responses. Frontiers in Psychology, 11. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0091647120915181#:~:text=Abstract,promoting%20their%20empathy%20and%20forgiveness. 

[5] Fishbane, M. D. (2019). Healing Intergenerational Wounds: An Integrative Relational–Neurobiological Approach. Family Process, 59(3), 1043-1063. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31518458/ 

[6] De Mol, J., Lemmens, G., Verhofstadt, L., & Kuczynski, L. (2013). Intergenerational transmission in a bidirectional context. Psychologica Belgica, 53(3), 7–23. https://doi.org/10.5334/pb-53-3-7 

[8] Byng-Hall, J. (2008). The significance of children fulfilling parental roles: implications for family therapy. Journal of Family Therapy, 30(2), 147-162. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-6427.2008.00423.x
[9] Paleari, F. G., Tagliabue, S., & Lanz, M. (2011). Empathic Perspective Taking in Family Relationships: A Social Relations Analysis. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/236587449_Empathic_Perspective_Taking_in_Family_Relationships_A_Social_Relations_Analysis

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In this Q&A episode, Whitney reflects on the polarizing response to her recent "Dear Estranged Parents" episode and shares her feelings about being misunderstood while trying to help families. Later, she discusses reality TV dynamics from Real Housewives of Miami about family sacrifice and entitlement, then addresses a caller's question about why dysfunctional family roles like scapegoat and golden child aren't stable but shift throughout the life cycle of a family system.

Have a question for Whitney? Record a voice memo on your phone and email it to [email protected]

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute 

for professional mental health advice.

05:41 Reality TV and Family Sacrifice Dynamics

12:01 Family Secrets: Next Month's Topic

13:58 Why Family Roles Shift Throughout Life

18:40 When Everyone's a Scapegoat, No One's Golden

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Whitney speaks directly to estranged parents from her experience working with hundreds of adult children who have cut contact with their families. She addresses common arguments from parents like "I have no idea why this happened," "I did the best I could," and "my children are remembering it wrong." She explains why these arguments often do more harm than good and offers alternative reframing that could open the door to genuine repair. This episode is for any estranged parents who genuinely desire to understand their adult children's perspectives and find a path toward authentic repair.

Have a question for Whitney? Record a voice memo on your phone and email it to [email protected]

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute 

for professional mental health advice.

07:45 Argument #1: "I Have No Idea Why This Happened"

15:51 Argument #2: "How Will They Know I've Changed?"

22:08 Argument #3: "I Did the Best I Could"

27:24 Argument #4: "Family Should Always Stick Together"

31:21 Argument #5: "They're Remembering It Wrong"

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In this Q&A episode, Whitney addresses a caller whose siblings want them to attend their parents' 50th anniversary trip not out of love, but to serve as a buffer against their abusive parents' dysfunction - and how to handle the pressure when "no" isn't being accepted as an answer. She also discusses sibling dynamics from the Apple TV show "Smoke" and shares her experience with red light meditation for stress reduction.

Have a question for Whitney? Record a voice memo on your phone and email it to [email protected]

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices