Too often the phrase “grow up” is code for ignoring your past and repressing your childhood trauma. This dismissive “get over it” mentality fails to ever reach a healthy emotional maturity. Join Whitney as she explores what it actually means to acknowledge your past, set boundaries, and embrace your adult power.

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute 

for professional mental health advice.

00:00 What People Think Growing Up Means

04:22 The Real Process of Growing Up: Acknowledgment and Mourning

08:45 Decentering Unhealthy Relationships and the Double Bind

14:13 Taking Accountability as an Adult

16:54 Building Emotional Maturity and Self-Trust

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In this Q&A episode, Whitney responds to a thoughtful listener question about self-reflection in family relationships - specifically when calling out parents' hurtful behavior makes them withdraw and feel bad about themselves leading to guilt about whether you're part of the problem. She also discusses Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's engagement then explores troubling father-son enmeshment patterns she's observing in shows like McBee Dynasty.

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute 

for professional mental health advice.

05:18 McBee Dynasty and Toxic Father-Son Dynamics

10:07 Family Secrets: September's Topic

14:52 When Parents Walk on Eggshells Around You

22:14 Q&A: How to Know If You're Part of the Problem

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Can estranged family relationships actually be repaired? Drawing from research on reconciliation, Whitney outlines the five core ingredients necessary for genuine repair - active empathetic listening, accountability, behavioral change, mutual willingness, and safety. Whitney distinguishes between genuine repair efforts and surface-level compliance, explains when relationships are likely unsalvageable, and provides practical guidance for assessing whether reconciliation is truly possible or if it's time to accept the relationship's limitations.

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

03:42 The Five Core Ingredients of Family Repair

13:09 When Relationships Are Unsalvageable

23:05 Genuine Repair vs Surface-Level Compliance

28:33 Assessing Capacity for Change

https://callinghome.co/topics/family-estrangement/how-to-begin-reconciliation-with-an-estranged-family-member

https://callinghome.co/topics/family-estrangement/should-we-be-estranged-checklist 

https://callinghome.co/topics/accepting-your-parents/i-m-estranged-from-my-dying-parent-should-i-reconnect-and-help-them 

[1] Kelley, D. L., Waldron, V. R., & Kloeber, D. N. (2019). A Communicative Approach to Conflict, Forgiveness, and Reconciliation. Routledge. https://www.routledge.com/A-Communicative-Approach-to-Conflict-Forgiveness-and-Reconciliation-Reimagining-Our-Relationships/Kelley-Waldron-Kloeber/p/book/9781138052666?srsltid=AfmBOoq4iGgtwMAvbAv4-FKP9EOORNLadpnlRmmGIY_rXYPEvirm7Ymr 

[2] Tomm, K. (2002). Enabling Forgiveness and Reconciliation in Family Therapy. The International Journal of Narrative Therapy and Community Work. https://dulwichcentre.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/13-KarlT2.pdf 

[3] Blood, P. (2012). The Repair and Restoration of Relationships. In Springer eBook (pp. 349-370). https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-94-007-2147-0_17 

[4] vanOyen Witvliet, C., Root Luna, L. M., Worthington, E. L., & Tsang, J. (2020). Apology and Restitution: The Psychophysiology of Forgiveness After Accountable Relational Repair Responses. Frontiers in Psychology, 11. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0091647120915181#:~:text=Abstract,promoting%20their%20empathy%20and%20forgiveness. 

[5] Fishbane, M. D. (2019). Healing Intergenerational Wounds: An Integrative Relational–Neurobiological Approach. Family Process, 59(3), 1043-1063. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31518458/ 

[6] De Mol, J., Lemmens, G., Verhofstadt, L., & Kuczynski, L. (2013). Intergenerational transmission in a bidirectional context. Psychologica Belgica, 53(3), 7–23. https://doi.org/10.5334/pb-53-3-7 

[8] Byng-Hall, J. (2008). The significance of children fulfilling parental roles: implications for family therapy. Journal of Family Therapy, 30(2), 147-162. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-6427.2008.00423.x
[9] Paleari, F. G., Tagliabue, S., & Lanz, M. (2011). Empathic Perspective Taking in Family Relationships: A Social Relations Analysis. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/236587449_Empathic_Perspective_Taking_in_Family_Relationships_A_Social_Relations_Analysis

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In this Q&A episode, Whitney reflects on the polarizing response to her recent "Dear Estranged Parents" episode and shares her feelings about being misunderstood while trying to help families. Later, she discusses reality TV dynamics from Real Housewives of Miami about family sacrifice and entitlement, then addresses a caller's question about why dysfunctional family roles like scapegoat and golden child aren't stable but shift throughout the life cycle of a family system.

Have a question for Whitney? Record a voice memo on your phone and email it to [email protected]

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute 

for professional mental health advice.

05:41 Reality TV and Family Sacrifice Dynamics

12:01 Family Secrets: Next Month's Topic

13:58 Why Family Roles Shift Throughout Life

18:40 When Everyone's a Scapegoat, No One's Golden

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Whitney speaks directly to estranged parents from her experience working with hundreds of adult children who have cut contact with their families. She addresses common arguments from parents like "I have no idea why this happened," "I did the best I could," and "my children are remembering it wrong." She explains why these arguments often do more harm than good and offers alternative reframing that could open the door to genuine repair. This episode is for any estranged parents who genuinely desire to understand their adult children's perspectives and find a path toward authentic repair.

Have a question for Whitney? Record a voice memo on your phone and email it to [email protected]

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute 

for professional mental health advice.

07:45 Argument #1: "I Have No Idea Why This Happened"

15:51 Argument #2: "How Will They Know I've Changed?"

22:08 Argument #3: "I Did the Best I Could"

27:24 Argument #4: "Family Should Always Stick Together"

31:21 Argument #5: "They're Remembering It Wrong"

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In this Q&A episode, Whitney addresses a caller whose siblings want them to attend their parents' 50th anniversary trip not out of love, but to serve as a buffer against their abusive parents' dysfunction - and how to handle the pressure when "no" isn't being accepted as an answer. She also discusses sibling dynamics from the Apple TV show "Smoke" and shares her experience with red light meditation for stress reduction.

Have a question for Whitney? Record a voice memo on your phone and email it to [email protected]

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this solo episode, Whitney responds to the question: can emotionally mature parents still raise emotionally immature adult children? She breaks down the research on emotional transmission from parent to child, examining the roles of modeling, contingency responses, and coaching. Whitney discusses how temperament, bidirectional influence, and developmental timing can complicate outcomes, while providing evidence-based strategies for fostering emotional maturity in yourself and your own (or prospective) children.

Have a question for Whitney? Record a voice memo on your phone and email it to [email protected]Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this Q&A episode, Whitney addresses a caller dealing with a mother who accuses her of being the toxic one while engaging in silent treatment and triangulation tactics. She discusses parents who weaponize big parenting gestures like Disney trips and birthday parties to deflect from daily emotional neglect. She also analyzes emotionally immature parenting through the lens of the TV series Friday Night Lights, examining how involved parents can still cause harm when their support is conditional on performance.

Have a question for Whitney? Record a voice memo on your phone and email it to [email protected]

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

02:37 Friday Night Lights and Conditional Love

08:11 Disney Trips vs. Daily Emotional Presence

13:14 When Your Parent Accuses You of Being Toxic

21:24 The All-or-Nothing Parent Dilemma

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In this solo episode, Whitney explores why siblings from the same dysfunctional family often have completely different experiences and reactions to their emotionally immature parents. She breaks down the common dysfunctional family roles - golden child, scapegoat, lost child, parentified child, and enabler - and explains how these roles create lasting divisions between siblings in adulthood. Whitney then gives guidance on how siblings can come to terms with these different reactions to their different experiences.

Have a question for Whitney? Record a voice memo on your phone and email it to [email protected]

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

00:00 Why Siblings Experience the Same Parent Differently

03:19 The Five Dysfunctional Family Roles

07:29 How Childhood Roles Divide Adult Siblings

13:21 Accepting Different Healing Paths

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In this Q&A episode, Whitney discusses why AI can't replace real therapy and the privacy concerns with using ChatGPT for mental health support. Whitney also addresses a caller dealing with sibling estrangement - feeling alone and resentful when their brother cut off their emotionally immature mother while they chose to stay and work on the relationship.

Have a question for Whitney? Record a voice memo on your phone and email it to [email protected]

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices