Content warning: This episode discusses childhood abuse, domestic violence, racial slurs, and the death of a sibling.

In this Q&A episode, Whitney reads a single letter from a woman who survived a childhood of severe violence, lost her sister at 24, and is now permanently no contact with a family system that still minimizes what happened. Whitney takes the letter in pieces and answers all three of her questions.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• How to grieve a sibling whose life was overshadowed by abuse, without reducing them to what was done to them
• Why thriving after you escape is not a betrayal of the people who didn't
• What it means when an entire family, including the abuser, admits the violence happened and still asks you to come back
• Why grief and boundary-holding almost always have to happen at the same time

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected]

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Lindsay Gibson's first book, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, gave millions of people language for what happened to them growing up. Her new book flips the lens for the people who are now raising kids of their own and are quietly terrified of passing it all down. Whitney sits down with her to talk about what actually builds emotional maturity in a child, and what to do in the moments your own immaturity shows up.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why the fear of becoming your own parents is often a sign you won't
• What emotional maturity actually looks like at different ages, from newborn to teenager
• Why ruling through fear works in the short term and costs you the relationship long term
• How to repair with your child in a way that actually changes the pattern instead of pseudo-apologizing
• Why you don't have to be the perfect source of everything for your kid

Connect with Dr. Lindsay Gibson

Get her new book, How to Raise an Emotionally Mature Child: https://amzn.to/4fbX135 [this is an affiliate link - as an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases at not additional cost to you.]

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected]

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this Q&A episode, Whitney answers two questions from people trying to figure out where acceptance ends and cutting off begins. First, a woman who thought her mom was finally going to leave her father after a major blowup involving favoritism, triangulation, and infidelity, only to watch her mom stay and start calling her the difficult one instead. Second, a new mother whose parents made her postpartum period worse instead of better, and who's now wondering whether sending a birthday card is worth it after a year and a half of near silence.

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected]

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Estranged parents often say: “We had a perfect relationship, and then something to them. Social media. A therapist. A partner. Their other parents. They were brainwashed. In this episode, Whitney takes that fear seriously and gives it an honest, research-informed answer.

This episode explores:

• The real history of brainwashing
• What social media can and can’t do
• If therapists can implant grievances into clients
• How the brainwashing framework offers comfort

Sources:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1M0YYHl6m_W2HeEAIa5DhM4lH6VdVmhAxTyUuEuG6qXo/edit?usp=sharing

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected]

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One of the harder truths of estrangement is coming to terms with the fact that your parent was not who you needed them to be and in many cases is not going to become that person. In this episode’s Q&A, two questions circle that theme. First, a couple with two young children trying to integrate not one, but two sets of critical and unsupportive grandparents into their family. Second, a woman asks how to ever reach true acceptance when you’re stuck between anger and still wanting them to be different.

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected]

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Did you ever feel like you’re in a conversation where the other person is just waiting for you to stop talking while they load up something to say? You can talk to members of your family every single day and still feel completely unheard. And it works the other way too. Whitney breaks down the real difference between hearing and listening.

In this episode, you’ll learn: 

• Concrete tools for listening on both sides of a conversation 
• How to actually listen when someone you love is hurting
• Why our instinct to fix or reassure often backfires
• How to ask for what you need when you're the one who doesn't feel heard

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected]

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this Q&A episode, Whitney answers two follow-up questions from her viral episode on parental curiosity. First, from a listener who wants to stay connected with an 81-year old father who has never once shown curiosity. Second, the opposite problem: a parent who, after a period of estrangement, suddenly asks a genuine follow-up question.

The original episode that inspired the second question:

When Parents Don't Show Curiosity About Your Life

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected]

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is estrangement a privilege for the middle class and the rich? Whitney pushes back on the argument that cutting off family is something only wealthy people do, not because the critique is entirely wrong, but because it's drawing the wrong conclusion. 

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected]

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this Q&A episode, Whitney answers two questions from people who love their families but are struggling with dynamics that aren't working. First, someone who spent their whole life as the family mediator and peacemaker, has done years of their own healing work, and is now asking how to stay connected to people who have never really shown curiosity about who they are. Second, a husband navigating the tension between his wife's need for distance from his parents and his own desire to maintain a relationship with them. He also asks what role, if any, his parents should have with their child.

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected]

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You’ve heard that line before. And it didn’t make things better, did it? Many apologies are not good, and often they make things worse. Whitney breaks down why some people over-apologize while others can't say "I was wrong" at all. She also gives advice for what to do when you're on either side of an apology that isn't landing.

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected]

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.co

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivity

Sign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0o

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.