In this episode of Dear Dr. Tracy, we explore one of the most common—and emotionally charged—challenges in long-term relationships: when one partner desires more sex, while the other feels overwhelmed, touched out, or emotionally disconnected.

Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, clinical psychologist and couples therapist, breaks down the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire, explains why sex can feel like part of running a marathon for some partners, and unpacks how sex is often a bid for connection—not just physical pleasure.
You’ll learn how emotional and sexual intimacy are wired differently, how to stop taking rejection personally, and what practical steps couples can take to rebuild connection without blame or pressure.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in the sex-versus-talk dynamic, this episode will help you deepen your understanding—and find a new way forward, together.

Join my More Than Roommates Challenge now and spend the next ten days feeling more connected.

RESOURCES:

Preorder my new book! You, Your Husband, and His Mother

Want your questions answered on the show? ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠    

Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠

Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠

Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠

LINKS:

Better Help: Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/TRACY

K12 Powered Schools: Learn more at k12.com/TRACY

Quince Bedding: Free Shipping at quince.com/TRACY

Branch Basics:⁠ Use code TRACY15 to save 15% off your Premium Starter Kit

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When Coldplay’s Jumbotron "kiss cam" (sidenote, it's not a kiss cam, its the Jumbotron Song) sparked global buzz over an affair, it reminded us of a hard truth—infidelity is not entertainment.

In this must-listen episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, clinical psychologist and relationship expert, breaks down the real reasons people cheat, from disconnection and loneliness to conflict avoidance and unmet emotional needs.

You’ll learn:

Why affairs happen (it’s not always about sex)

The truth about shame, betrayal, and emotional wounds

How couples can begin to heal after infidelity

Whether you’re rebuilding trust, struggling with betrayal, or reflecting on your own relationship, this episode offers insight, compassion, and powerful takeaways.

Keywords: infidelity, why people cheat, relationship betrayal, marriage repair, emotional affairs, rebuilding trust, couples therapy, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish

RESOURCES:

Preorder my new book! You, Your Husband, and His Mother

Want your questions answered on the show? ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠    

Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠

Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠

Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠

LINKS:

Better Help: Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/TRACY

K12 Powered Schools: Learn more at k12.com/TRACY

Quince Bedding: Free Shipping at quince.com/TRACY

Branch Basics:⁠ Use code TRACY15 to save 15% off your Premium Starter Kit

⁠Vionic Shoes⁠: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com

Mint Mobile: Just $15 a month with mintmobile.com/TRACY

AirDoctorPro: Save $300 with code TRACY at https://airdoctorpro.com

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People talk about setting boundaries—but what if it’s actually avoidance?

In this episode, Dr. Tracy breaks down the difference between real emotional boundaries and the kind that push your partner away. Understand the difference and how you can center yourself in creating healthy communication and a stronger connection in your relationship.

Keywords: relationship boundaries, avoidant behavior, communication in relationships, emotional connection, healthy boundaries, conflict in marriage

RESOURCES:

Want your questions answered on the show? ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠    

Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠

Join Be Connected and feel closer in your relationship: Learn more here

Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠

Heal old wounds and build healthy interdependence with my book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” - order ⁠⁠here! ⁠⁠

LINKS:

Better Help: Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/TRACY

K12 Powered Schools: Learn more at k12.com/TRACY

Quince Bedding: Free Shipping at quince.com/TRACY

Mint Mobile: Just $15 a month with mintmobile.com/TRACY

⁠Vionic Shoes⁠: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com

AirDoctorPro: Save $300 with code TRACY at https://airdoctorpro.com

GoPure Beauty: Save 25% at ⁠https://gopurebeauty.com/tracy⁠ code TRACY

⁠⁠AquaTru⁠⁠ - water filter: Use promo code for TRACY for 20% off at https://aquatru.com/
ACORNS Early debit card and smart app for kids: ⁠⁠acornsearly.com/tracy⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this three-parter, Dr. Tracy shares the real conversations happening in therapy and at home.

Part 1: Is telling your child “You’re fine” gaslighting? Dr. Tracy unpacks this hot take and why parenting needs more nuance—not more guilt.

Part 2: A listener asks if her husband should confront his mother for trash-talking them on social media. Dr. Tracy explores boundaries, control, and what to do when estrangement gets messy. Plus, her new book cover is finally revealed—preorders are live.

Part 3: A powerful insight from a couple navigating intimacy struggles—and the one shift that helped desire return.

For anyone parenting, partnering, or navigating complex in-law dynamics, this episode brings honest reflection, expert guidance, and one exciting announcement.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/TRACY and get on your way to being your best self.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Pre-order You, Your Husband, and His Mother Now!!

Navigating the Parent-Child Attachment with Dr. Tanya Cotler

Gaslighting and Manipulation with Dr. Morgan Anderson

RESOURCES:

Want your questions answered on the show? ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠    

Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠

Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠

Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠

Heal old wounds and build healthy interdependence with my book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” - order ⁠⁠here! ⁠⁠

LINKS:

Better Help: Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/TRACY

⁠Quince Bedding:⁠ Free Shipping at quince.com/TRACY

⁠Vionic Shoes⁠: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com

Mint Mobile: Just $15 a month with mintmobile.com/TRACY

AirDoctorPro: Save $300 with code TRACY at https://airdoctorpro.com

⁠⁠AquaTru⁠⁠ - water filter: Use promo code for TRACY for 20% off at https://aquatru.com/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do we over-explain, justify, or get defensive—especially in our closest relationships? In this episode, Clinical Psychologist and Relationship Expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish explores the deeper reasons behind the urge to explain yourself, even when it doesn’t bring clarity or connection.

Drawing from her work with clients, Dr. Tracy unpacks how childhood wounds, people-pleasing, and fear of rejection often drive our need to be understood or seen as "right."

You’ll learn why this pattern is so common in romantic relationships, how it shows up as defensiveness or justification, and what to do instead to create emotional safety and deeper connection.

This episode offers compassionate insight and actionable tools to shift out of old patterns and into relational healing.

RESOURCES

Want your questions answered on the show? ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠    

Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠

Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠

Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠

Heal old wounds and build healthy interdependence with my book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” - order ⁠⁠here! ⁠⁠

LINKS:

OneSkin: Use code TRACY to say 15% off

Branch Basics:⁠ Use code TRACY15 to save 15% off your Premium Starter Kit

Mint Mobile: Just $15 a month with mintmobile.com/TRACY

AirDoctorPro: Save $300 with code TRACY at https://airdoctorpro.com

GoPure Beauty: Save 25% at ⁠https://gopurebeauty.com/tracy⁠ code TRACY

⁠⁠AquaTru⁠⁠ - water filter: Use promo code for TRACY for 20% off at https://aquatru.com/

ACORNS Early debit card and smart app for kids: ⁠⁠acornsearly.com/tracy⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Planning a summer vacation should bring connection—not conflict. But for many couples, time away becomes a pressure cooker for everything they haven’t talked about: the unequal mental load, unspoken expectations, and simmering resentment.

In this episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, clinical psychologist and couples therapist, is joined by her husband Greg to unpack how to prepare your relationship for vacation. Together, they dive into the emotional and logistical stress of the mental load, how to divide responsibilities fairly, and the importance of communicating needs and boundaries before you hit the road.

Plus, they share a powerful DM from a community member—a husband learning how to sit with vulnerability and navigate the discomfort of disappointing his partner. It’s an honest look at what it means to grow in a relationship, and how emotional intimacy is built not in big moments, but in the small, everyday repairs.

Whether you’re planning a family vacation, dealing with in-laws on your summer trip, or trying to reduce resentment in your marriage, this episode gives you practical strategies to feel more connected—not just on vacation, but long after you return home.

RESOURCES:

Want your questions answered on the show? ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠    

Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠

Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠

Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠

Heal old wounds and build healthy interdependence with my book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” - order ⁠⁠here! ⁠⁠

LINKS:

⁠Vionic Shoes⁠: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com

Mint Mobile: Just $15 a month with mintmobile.com/TRACY

AirDoctorPro: Save $300 with code TRACY at https://airdoctorpro.com

GoPure Beauty: Save 25% at ⁠https://gopurebeauty.com/tracy⁠ code TRACY

⁠⁠AquaTru⁠⁠ - water filter: Use promo code for TRACY for 20% off at https://aquatru.com/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this solo episode, Clinical Psychologist and Relationship Expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish explores a common but painful experience in relationships: knowing what your partner needs, wanting to show up differently, and still defaulting to old, self-protective patterns.

If you’ve ever said, “I love my partner, but I keep shutting down,” or “I know I’m hurting them, but I don’t know how to stop,” this episode is for you.
Dr. Tracy shares a relatable story from her own marriage, explains how nervous system responses and attachment styles like avoidant and anxious-avoidant can override our intentions, and helps you understand why awareness isn’t always enough to create change.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Why you might choose safety over connection in moments that matter
- How avoidant and anxious attachment styles influence relationship behavior
- What it means to act from a coping mechanism that no longer fits
- How to move from autopilot to conscious connection
- Five practical steps to begin shifting your patterns today
- Why emotional regulation, repair, and self-compassion are key to long-term change

Whether you're in the roommate phase, stuck in emotional disconnection, or trying to be more present in your relationship, this episode offers honest insights and real tools for growth.

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Join my relationship program, Be Connected, and feel more like a team and close again. Learn more here

Podcast Episode: Understanding Your Attachment Style to Help Strengthen Your Relationship. Listen here

Identify the stories you tell yourself in your relationship. Download here

RESOURCES:

Want your questions answered on the show? ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠    

Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠

Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠

Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠

Heal old wounds and build healthy interdependence with my book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” - order ⁠⁠here! ⁠⁠

LINKS:

⁠Vionic Shoes⁠: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com

Mint Mobile: Just $15 a month with mintmobile.com/TRACY

AirDoctorPro: Save $300 with code TRACY at https://airdoctorpro.com

GoPure Beauty: Save 25% at ⁠https://gopurebeauty.com/tracy⁠ code TRACY

⁠⁠AquaTru⁠⁠ - water filter: Use promo code for TRACY for 20% off at https://aquatru.com/

ACORNS Early debit card and smart app for kids: ⁠⁠acornsearly.com/tracy⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this solo episode, Dr. Tracy shares a personal story about standing up for her child, navigating hard conversations with other parents, and teaching children how to build trust in friendships. She explores what it means to act on your values, model courage, and help kids make sense of complex social situations.

RESOURCES:

Want your questions answered on the show? ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠    

Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠

Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠

Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠

Heal old wounds and build healthy interdependence with my book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” - order ⁠⁠here! ⁠⁠

LINKS:

⁠Vionic Shoes⁠: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com

Mint Mobile: Just $15 a month with mintmobile.com/TRACY

AirDoctorPro: Save $300 with code TRACY at https://airdoctorpro.com

GoPure Beauty: Save 25% at ⁠https://gopurebeauty.com/tracy⁠ code TRACY

⁠⁠AquaTru⁠⁠ - water filter: Use promo code for TRACY for 20% off at https://aquatru.com/

ACORNS Early debit card and smart app for kids: ⁠⁠acornsearly.com/tracy⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the words you're using are keeping you stuck?

In part two of this conversation, Dr. Tracy and Dr. Morgan explore how to step out of pathologizing language and into deeper emotional responsibility.

You’ll walk away with practical tools to create healthier dialogue, rebuild safety, and connect more meaningfully with your partner.

Learn more about Dr. Morgan Anderson - https://drmorgancoaching.com/
Say hello to her on IG - https://instagram.com/drmorgancoaching

RESOURCES:

Join the next More Than Roommates Challenge! Click here

Want your questions answered on the show? ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠    

Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠

Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠

Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠

Heal old wounds and build healthy interdependence with my book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” - order ⁠⁠here! ⁠⁠

LINKS:

⁠⁠⁠AquaTru⁠⁠⁠ - water filter: Use promo code for TRACY for 20% off at https://aquatru.com/

⁠Vionic Shoes⁠: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com

Mint Mobile: Just $15 a month with mintmobile.com/TRACY

AirDoctorPro: Save $300 with code TRACY at https://airdoctorpro.com

GoPure Beauty: Save 25% with code TRACY at ⁠https://gopurebeauty.com/tracy⁠

⁠Lumen⁠: Save 15% at ⁠https://lumen.me/DEARTRACY⁠

ACORNS Early debit card and smart app for kids: ⁠⁠acornsearly.com/tracy⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is your relationship being hurt by the words you’re using?

In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Dr. Morgan, attachment theory expert and psychologist, unpack how terms like “gaslighting,” “narcissist,” and “manipulation” are often misused—and why that misuse is damaging our relationships. Tune in for an honest, expert-led conversation that challenges oversimplified narratives and brings back the nuance we desperately need.

Learn more about Dr. Morgan Anderson - https://drmorgancoaching.com/
Say hello to her on IG - https://instagram.com/drmorgancoaching

RESOURCES:

Join the next More Than Roommates Challenge! Click here

Want your questions answered on the show? ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠    

Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠

Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠

Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠

Heal old wounds and build healthy interdependence with my book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” - order ⁠⁠here! ⁠⁠

LINKS:

⁠⁠⁠AquaTru⁠⁠⁠ - water filter: Use promo code for TRACY for 20% off at https://aquatru.com/

⁠Vionic Shoes⁠: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com

Mint Mobile: Just $15 a month with mintmobile.com/TRACY

AirDoctorPro: Save $300 with code TRACY at https://airdoctorpro.com

GoPure Beauty: Save 25% at ⁠https://gopurebeauty.com/tracy⁠ code TRACY

⁠Lumen⁠: Save 15% at ⁠https://lumen.me/DEARTRACY⁠

ACORNS Early debit card and smart app for kids: ⁠⁠acornsearly.com/tracy⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices