Why do relationships feel so confusing and hard?

If you grew up with a narcissistic or emotionally limited mother, you may have learned to associate closeness with danger and distance with safety.

This week,, we're talking about relational trauma, attachment wounds, and how childhood trauma shapes the way you show up in adult relationships.

We'll explore:

Resources:

This week, we’re moving beyond the trauma  buzzwords to explain why you feel the way you do and what it really means to begin healing from relational trauma.

You’ll learn:

Whether you’re just starting your trauma recovery journey or deep in the process, this episode offers clarity, compassion, and a way forward.

If you’ve ever felt like your anxiety is “too much” or your grief is “too messy,” you belong here.

Today, meet a daughter of a covertly narcissistic mother who didn’t begin to connect the dots until after her mother’s death. What follows is an honest, layered conversation about complex grief, panic attacks that don’t seem to make sense, and the painful tug-of-war between loyalty and truth.

Together, we explore:

• Why panic in adulthood is often a trauma memory, not a present problem

• The link between narcissistic mothers and hypervigilant nervous systems

• How “should” becomes a survival strategy and why it now feels like self-betrayal

• What it means to grieve a mother who was never emotionally safe

• How memory reconsolidation happens even after a parent's death

• Why waking up to your story years later doesn’t mean the trauma wasn’t real

If you were the daughter who raised yourself, who became the emotional caretaker in childhood, or who still feels guilty for feeling relief after loss, this conversation will help you feel less alone, less crazy, and more understood.

Grief isn’t linear. Panic isn’t random. And your healing gets to make sense to you, even if no one else understands it yet.

🔹 Join Mayhem Daughters, our private community for daughters of narcissistic or emotionally limited mothers: [Insert link]

🔹Bring it to Group. Tuesday Group is at noon PST.

Thursday Group is at 3:30 PST

Have you ever wondered: Am I always in a trauma response? Is everything I feel just about my past? If so, you’re not alone and you’re not wrong for asking.

Today we break down the differences between trauma brain, nervous system dysregulation, and normal emotional responses.

When you’ve survived a narcissistic or emotionally limited mother, it’s easy to feel like every reaction you have is suspect. But healing isn’t about becoming unbothered. It's about knowing what deserves to bother you.

We also explore why some daughters feel overwhelmed by being chosen, even as they grieve the pain of being left. Whether it’s friendship, dating, or family relationships, many daughters of narcissistic mothers carry deep nervous system patterns that can make connection feel confusing or unsafe.

In this episode, you’ll learn: The difference between trauma brain and dysregulation, and why knowing the distinction matters Why not every reaction, frustration, or irritation is a trauma response. You'll learn how your nervous system protects you, even when there’s no immediate danger, and what to do when being wanted makes you shut down.

We'll also touch on how to tell if your response is about the moment or about memory.

And lastly, we'll explore how healing means you get to choose what matters to you instead of defaulting to what your trauma tells you should

We cover key trauma-informed themes like:

Nervous system regulation and trauma responses

Self-trust vs. over-pathologizing

How daughters of narcissistic mothers respond to intimacy and belonging

Feeling "too much" or "too sensitive" after trauma

Why grief, loss, and closeness can coexist

This episode is for you if:

You’re tired of feeling like your trauma explains everything You want to stop spinning when people pull away or lean in You’re learning how to hear your wise mind instead of only your trauma brain

Mentioned in this episode:

Mayhem Daughters, our online community for daughters

Tuesday Group, Thursday Group

Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things

This week, we’re talking about what happens when choosing yourself feels like betrayal, especially when you’ve been raised to equate love with loyalty, and loyalty with obedience.

Whether you're trying to navigate guilt, set boundaries, or claim your voice, this episode reminds you: you don’t have to choose between love and self-respect.

And as always, daughters, you don’t have to manage any of this alone.|

You can always join us for:

Tuesday Group,

Thursday group,

Mayhem Daughters, our online community for daughters

Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things

What happens when you find out the story your mother told you about your life… wasn’t true?

Today we’re talking to about:

• How gaslighting from a parent distorts a child’s reality

• What betrayal trauma feels like when the gaslighter is your mother

• Why self-trust gets severed after emotional manipulation and medical abuse

• How trauma teaches you not to believe yourself

• The grief, rage, and confusion that surface when you start to see clearly

• Gentle, actionable steps to start rebuilding your sense of self and truth
  

  Whether your mother lied outright, withheld the truth, or used concern as a disguise for control, this episode will help you name what happened and take the first steps toward reclaiming your life.

You’ll learn:

• How to recognize the subtle forms of gaslighting in families

• What it means to anchor in the present when the past feels blurry

• How to begin healing identity confusion and chronic self-doubt

• Questions that gently guide you back to your own knowing

This episode is for you if:

• You were made to feel like you were the problem

• You’re struggling to trust yourself or your memories

• You’re tired of shrinking, performing, or questioning everything you feel

• You want to start healing from emotional abuse, parental control, and betrayal

Resources Mentioned:

• Join the Mayhem Daughters Community : A therapeutic space for daughters of narcissistic and emotionally limited mothers.

• Tuesday & Thursday Support Groups — Live peer support groups with Heather

  Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things

A hundred conversations. A hundred chances to tell the truth. A hundred reminders that healing is possible—even when it’s messy, slow, and still unfinished.

In this episode, we’re not breaking anything down. We’re building something up. Together.

You’ll hear two powerful stories from daughters who’ve done the hard work of healing, of making peace with who they were, so they could become who they are.

These aren’t just feel-good stories. They’re proof. That the work works. That you're not alone. That your story matters.

Whether you’ve been here since Episode 1 or just found your way in, this one is for you.

For every daughter who’s listened quietly. For every daughter who’s whispered, “me too.” For every daughter building a life by her own design. Thank you.

Here’s to the next hundred.

Join us: Tuesday Group or Thursday Group

You're welcome: Mayhem Daughters, our online community of daughters.

What happens when going no contact with your narcissistic or emotionally abusive mother means losing more than just the relationship with her?

In this powerful follow-up to Episode 92, we hear from Coraline—a daughter who’s already done the impossible: named the abuse, broken the cycle, and chosen to protect her peace. But what happens when that decision triggers suicide threats, family pressure, and the fear of losing connection with your father or siblings?

In this episode of Mother Mayhem, we explore:

• How narcissistic mothers use guilt, threats, and emotional blackmail to collapse your boundaries

• What to do when your mother says she’ll kill herself if you cut contact

• How to respond to family members who pressure you to "keep the peace"

• The difference between being compassionate and being complicit

• Scripts and mindset shifts to help you hold the line—even when it’s painful

• Why no contact is not the end of your healing—but the beginning of your reclaiming

If you’ve ever felt trapped between your own well-being and your family’s expectations, this episode is for you.

Join Tuesday Group or Thursday Group: Weekly support for daughters of narcissistic or emotionally limited mothers

• Explore the Mayhem Daughters community

💬 If this episode resonates with you, please consider leaving a rating or review. It helps other daughters find the show—and reminds you that your story, and your healing, matter.

Have you ever been called ungrateful, selfish, or disloyal by your mother just for setting a boundary, speaking your truth, or simply because you exist?

In this episode of Mother Mayhem, we’re talking about what happens when a narcissistic or emotionally limited mother turns the tables and calls you the problem.

Whether she accuses you of betrayal, labels your healing as disloyalty, or punishes you for pulling away, the pain of these attacks runs deep and can leave daughters drowning in guilt, confusion, and shame.

We’ll unpack:

• Why narcissistic mothers often accuse their daughters of being ungrateful or selfish

• How emotional abuse and gaslighting distort your reality and erode your self-trust

• What it really means when a mother can’t love, not because she won’t, but because she’s emotionally incapable

• The difference between actual selfishness and the healthy self-protection daughters are entitled to

• How to anchor into your wise mind when trauma brain tells you to go back and fix it

  You are not the problem and in this episode, you’ll learn how to start believing that.

• Join Tuesday Group or Thursday Group: Supportive spaces for daughters navigating the mother wound

• Learn more about the Mayhem Daughters community

If this episode spoke to you, please consider leaving a rating or review. It helps other daughters find the show and reminds the algorithm (and me) that these conversations matter.

In this episode of Mother Mayhem, we’re talking about one of the most emotionally damaging tactics used by narcissistic and emotionally limited mothers: the silent treatment.

This episode explores the emotional and psychological effects of the silent treatment and provides listeners with strategies to heal and regain control of their lives.

When your narcissistic mother uses silence as a weapon, it doesn’t just hurt in the moment. It lingers, leaving you trapped in a cycle of self-doubt, anxiety, and emotional chaos.

Learn how to recognize these behaviors for what they are: emotional manipulation. Learn how to break free from the cycle of seeking approval and validation from someone who will never give it to you.

Key points discussed in this episode:

• The Silent Treatment as Emotional Manipulation: Understanding how the silent treatment is used by narcissistic mothers to control, manipulate, and emotionally harm.
  

• The Impact on Your Nervous System: Why silence triggers fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses and how this affects your mental health and emotional regulation.
  

• Breaking the Cycle: Practical steps to stop chasing approval and reclaim your peace.
  

• Nervous System Regulation and Self-Trust: How calming your nervous system and rebuilding self-trust is crucial for healing from the silent treatment.
  

• Moving Beyond the Silence: What to do when your mother’s silence ends, how to prepare for re-engagement, and how to protect yourself from falling back into old patterns.
  

Healing Strategies:

This episode provides actionable advice to help you:

• Recognize the toxic patterns of behavior from your narcissistic mother.

• Manage anxiety and emotional overwhelm caused by the silent treatment.
  

• Focus on self-trust and emotional regulation to reclaim your peace.
  

• Set boundaries and break free from the need for external validation.

Mayhem is here to support you as you navigate the complexities of healing from narcissistic abuse. The journey may be long, but breaking the cycle of emotional manipulation starts today.

If you’re ready to stop chasing approval and reclaim your peace, join us in Mayhem Daughters, our trauma-informed community where daughters of narcissistic mothers come together to heal and support each other.

Check out the Tuesday Group and Thursday Group, where you’ll find the connection, support, and guidance you need on your journey of healing.

Also mentioned: Simple Scripts for Saying Hard Things