Mother Mayhem: For Daughters of Narcissistic or Emotionally Limited Mothers

109. Bodily Autonomy: The Maternal Abuse Daughters Struggle to Name


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What happens when your body was never fully yours to begin with?

In this powerful episode we’re having a conversation many daughters have never had out loud about bodily autonomy, maternal boundary violations, and the silent, insidious ways that narcissistic or emotionally immature mothers can lay claim to their daughters' bodies.

We’re not just talking about “bad boundaries” here. We’re talking about unspoken abuse, the kind that hides behind phrases like “for your own good,” and leaves daughters confused, ashamed, and disconnected from their own bodies.

What it means when a mother claims ownership over her daughter’s body

Why so many daughters hesitate to use the word abuse, even when their bodies tell the truth.

Examples of physical invasiveness, coercion, and boundary-crossing framed as “care”

The nervous system responses (like freezing or bracing) that reveal stored trauma

Why healing often begins not with rage, but with quiet remembering and somatic truth

How to notice your body's signals and what it looks like to reclaim agency

This is not a checklist of symptoms. It’s a truth telling

This episode is tender. It may be activating. Go slowly. Bring water, take breaks, and, if at all possible, don’t listen alone.

Felt shame around sexuality, desire, or touch

Froze during intimacy, pelvic exams, or physical care

Been told you were “too sensitive” when something felt off

Had a mother who shared your private information, commented on your body, or touched you in ways that felt confusing or wrong

Struggled to name what happened because it wasn’t “overt” enough to count as abuse

You might relate if you’ve ever:

Felt shame around sexuality, desire, or touch

Froze during intimacy, pelvic exams, or physical care

Been told you were “too sensitive” when something felt off

Had a mother who shared your private information, commented on your body, or touched you in ways that felt confusing or wrong

Struggled to name what happened because it wasn’t “overt” enough to count as abuse



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Mother Mayhem: For Daughters of Narcissistic or Emotionally Limited MothersBy Heather Gray, LICSW

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