Family Matters

How can we keep up a relationship with our son when his wife has forbidden him to have any contact with us? This has been our situation for years, and we're heartbroken because of it. We have asked them many times to please tell us how we've wronged them so we can make amends, but there has been no response. They've made their wishes clear, and we want to respect that. But we also want to assure our son and daughter-in-law of our love and that our hearts remain open to a relationship with them. What should we do?

Should my spouse and I help our adult son deal with his financial struggles? This is becoming a serious disagreement in our marriage. He's moved out of the house, but he simply isn't making it. I'm really worried about him. When I suggest that we offer him some monetary support, my spouse calls me a "softy" and says that he needs to learn a few lessons in the school of hard knocks. What do you think we should do?

How can I help my child develop healthy friendships? I know how easy it can be for kids to make the wrong kinds of friends or to establish connections with others for the wrong reasons. What can I do to provide some helpful guidance in this area?

Aside from the obvious physical distinctions, what are the essential differences between male and female? I'm disturbed by all of the gender-bending and -blending that's been promoted in society over the past few decades. I believe there are unique differences between the sexes that should be affirmed and celebrated. At the same time, I don't know exactly how to respond when friends on the other side of this issue challenge me to identify and describe them. Can you help me?

What's your opinion of babies sleeping with their parents? A friend of mine believes that the so-called "Family Bed" is beneficial for every member of the household. She even claims that this practice can prevent Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) and provide other health benefits. Is she right?

How can a loser like me ever be happy? I hate myself for who and what I am. I hate myself for the laundry that's not done, for the dirty socks and clothes on the floor, for a bunch of clean and unfolded clothes, for dirty dishes all over the house. I feel like the filthiest person in the world. My love life is a mess, too. I feel broken. I don't deserve to be happy, and even if I were, I'm afraid someone would show up and remind me about my past and how awful I've been and everyone would hate me again. Can you help me?

How can a loser like me ever be happy? I hate myself for who and what I am. I hate myself for the laundry that's not done, for the dirty socks and clothes on the floor, for a bunch of clean and unfolded clothes, for dirty dishes all over the house. I feel like the filthiest person in the world. My love life is a mess, too. I feel broken. I don't deserve to be happy, and even if I were, I'm afraid someone would show up and remind me about my past and how awful I've been and everyone would hate me again. Can you help me?

Is twelve years old too young for a girl to be expressing a keen interest in boys? My husband and I have a difference of opinion on this point. Our daughter and her best friend like to talk about "cute" boys and often tease each other about who has a crush on whom. To me this seems like normal preteen behavior. My husband, on the other hand, feels that she is too young and that such activity will lead to worse behavior when she is older. I respect my husband very much and want to maintain solidarity with him. At the same time, I can't help wondering whether he's being too strict. What do you think?

How can we encourage our child to cooperate and follow his preschool teacher's instructions? He becomes defiant when there's a change in the schedule or when the teacher asks him to switch activities. He wants to do things his own way and on his own time. How do we break him of this?

How do we decide what people should call one another in our newly blended family? It's a second marriage for my husband and me, and each of us had a three-year-old child when we married. Those kids are now six and seven years old. Recently, my step-daughter started calling me "Mom." When my husband's ex-wife heard about this she became extremely upset. We explained that we were as shocked as she was, especially since this little girl had been struggling with the new family arrangement. My husband's ex wants her daughter to call me by my first name only, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this. What should we do?