Family Matters

How do I, as a student, prepare myself to be a godly wife and mother? I'm a single woman in my mid-twenties, pursuing a graduate degree in literature at university. While I enjoy my studies and view them as important in preparing me for a future career in teaching, there's another sense in which I regard all of this as "Plan B": my real desire, the most earnest prayer of my heart, is that the Lord will give me a godly Christian husband someday. Meanwhile, I'm spending most of my time in an environment that's filled with feminist ideas and far from helpful to my long-range family-oriented goals. How can I resist these feminist messages? And how do I prepare to be a wife and mother while at the same time preparing for a possible teaching career?

What should we say to our college-age son who claims to be a "gay Christian?" He believes God has told him that there's nothing wrong with homosexuality and that interpretations of the Bible to the contrary are in error. Worst of all, he's been sharing these ideas with his brother (who, by the way, is disgusted with him), and he wants to explain them to his younger siblings as well. At some moments I'm so angry I could scream. Other times I just sit and cry. We love our son, but we don't want this kind of influence in our home. What should we do?

How do we locate a qualified marriage counselor? Do you have any recommendations? My spouse and I need help, but we don't know who to see or what to look for.

How can I hold on to my faith in God when things go wrong? As a Christian, I know that I'm supposed to "give thanks in all things" and look to the Lord for my daily needs. Yet I've been through some devastating experiences over the past year. How can I be thankful and trust God at a time like this?

Do you have any suggestions as to how I can come alongside someone who is grieving the loss of a spouse? A dear friend's husband just died. My spouse and I would like to be available to comfort her in any way we can. How can we best support her during this time of loss?

How should I respond to the discovery that an adult member of the extended family of a friend has been forcing one of the children to engage in sexual acts with him? I don't want to intrude in other people's business, but now that I'm in possession of this information I feel responsible to do something about it. Do you have any recommendations?

Is it really important for families to spend time together? Like everyone else, I constantly feel as if I don't have enough hours in my day. Meanwhile, I've read lots of articles and been in on lots of conversations about what's better – quality or quantity "family time." Everyone in our house keeps a hectic schedule, and sometimes I find myself wondering: just how important is "family time" when you're simply trying to make ends meet and get through the demands of the day? Can you shed any light on this problem for me?

How can our family make time to eat together when we're so busy? I'd really like to achieve this goal, but we face so many obstacles in making it happen, I'm almost afraid to try. Busy schedules are the rule in our household, and mine is no exception. By the time I get off work, battle rush hour traffic, and finally arrive at home, it's already 6:00 in the evening. At that point I know that if I make the effort to prepare a nutritious dinner, my family will be starving and the night will be half gone before I can get it on the table. How do I get around this challenge?

Can you help me understand whether I have a serious problem with alcohol? Here's my situation. I'm a hassled and harried mother of three young children. After school, I pick up my kids and go to the market, where I have to rush to grab a few things and get out of the store before the kids have a meltdown. Then we hurry home and I try to start dinner while helping with homework. When my husband comes home, I get a glass of wine and sit down to dinner to unwind. But instead of enjoying a relaxing meal I find myself cutting up the kids' food, pouring drinks, serving my husband, and trying to talk to him about his day. Then the kids need a bath, homework has to be checked, and lunches have to be packed. By bedtime I need another glass of wine to calm down. Some nights I just lie in bed with the television on and have another drink or two to get sleepy, but this doesn't happen very often. Do you think I'm an alcoholic?

What does the Bible have to say about poverty and giving to the poor? I want to have a God-honoring attitude on this matter, but to be honest, as a new Christian I've been confused by some of the differing opinions and ideas I've heard. Do you consider this kind of activity to be an important part of the Christian life?