Was QT high when he said Paul Dano is weak???? We're gonna kick his ass. We roast Demi, complain about health insurance, guess what we'd be like pregnant, and share date gossip.

Mary shares her skin care routine, we learn about Miranda rights, what really happened to Captain Phillips, and Demi's assault accusations on Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.

Back from a brief hiatus, here to fill you in on the Kelsies, Mormon Wives, and our favorite snack Fruit Riot!! (not an ad)

We are supportive of any and all cheese intakes unless the intake is none. The Love is Blind reunion had a mix of redemption arcs, LA has Alyssa in a chokehold, and Mary get fed by her husband pretty much daily.

Alyssa did a spooky ritual that summoned a demon (her ex), Mary had to work for free because she's a loving wife (lame), plus halloween costumes, movie premieres, iron supplements, and gift giving.

RH expert Amy Post breaks down the sprinter van fiascos, Jen Shah, going the distance, and Mary's comeback.

CJ joins us as we get toasty (whoops) to ramble on all topics including convertibles, kangaroos, trying not to yell at people, TSwift's Father Figure, and CJ almost getting punched in the face.

Our most cancellable episode yet (oops). Mary fearlessly defends her cult leader TSwift, Alyssa bitches about her messing up box office numbers, and we learn about Hellen Keller. With Ellory!

We cover a lot of ground here so listen up: it's not Pete Davidson's fault he has butthole eye. Also: Raquel update, Mormon pregnancy tests, and Yik Yak.

We survived the rapture to talk about the Golden Bachelor, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, climbing Everest, and men (again).