Welcome back to the pod, men! Spending quality time with our daughters is critical, even if it isn’t their primary love language.  They get to define what that quality time looks like for them.

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Hey men, we’re in the last episode of our Fathers and Daughters series.  I hope this has been helpful.  I know it’s been convicting for me, but encouraging, too. I actually have some action steps coming out of today’s episode with my own daughter, and I’d encourage you to think about action steps for yourself coming out of it as well.  

•  Let’s just do a quick recap if you missed the first two episodes in this series.  If you did, I encourage you to go back and listen when you have some time.  In the first episode we talked about the importance of loving our wives well so that our daughters can see what to look for in a man.  We talked about being intentional about speaking their love language and staying in our lane.  The truth is that there are some conversations better left to have between your daughter and your wife or another trusted Christian woman if you’re in a single parent situation. 
• Last episode we talked about speaking   truth against the lies of the enemy in the areas of beauty,  differences between the genders, and purity.  Today, is going to be a little bit more of a mixed bag.  I knew it was the last episode for this series and just wanted to hit a couple of highlights.  This may not be as structured as our typical episode, but I’m hopeful and prayerful that it is still valuable.  

Quality Time

Spending quality time with our daughters is critical, even if it isn’t their primary love language.  They get to define what that quality time looks like for them.

Philippians 2:3-8 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. 5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.6 Though he was God,[a]                 he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. 7 Instead, he gave up his divine privileges[b];  he took the humble position of a slave[c]  and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form,[d] 8   he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross. 

• Our daughters should get a say on what constitutes quality time. 
• Rhonda - loved to hike, camp, backpack, fish - didn’t like to shop.  Some of the reasons I was so attracted to her. We share a lot of similar interests. 
• Healthy to expose them to new things, get them to try new things. Sometimes you discover something you love to do together.  But that’s not always the case. Sometimes you have to take one for the team and do something you don’t necessarily enjoy. Do it with the right attitude.   Love is a choice. I don’t think Jesus was giddy about going to the cross, but we know for the joy set before him, he endured the cross. 

Tenderness and Touch 

Appropriate levels of tenderness and physical touch by a father have a significant impact on the likelihood that girls will be sexually active. 

• Watch your tone. Be gentle.   I’m not  against raising tough girls.  Girls who are mentally tough is a great thing.  
• Study after study link absent fathers with an increase in sexual activity for young women.                  

Don’t Sacrifice for Success

There will always be stuff pulling for our attention.  Don’t let the urgent things get in the way of the important things. Sacrificing our relationships with our daughters to get ahead at work is never worth it. Judges 11:29-31 

Judges 11:29-31 At that time the Spirit of the Lord came upon Jephthah, and he went throughout the land of Gilead and Manasseh, including Mizpah in Gilead, and from there he led an army against the Ammonites. 30 And Jephthah made a vow to the Lord. He said, “If you give me victory over the Ammonites, 31 I will give to the Lord whatever comes out of my house to meet me when I return in triumph. I will sacrifice it as a burnt offering.”

• Our sacrifices look different. Do we miss the band recital because of a deadline? Do we miss meeting the young man who is going to take our daughter on her first date because we’re working late at the office?  Men, if you’re in ministry, are your priorities in order? 

Capable not Independent

Give your daughters instruction and encourage them to seek wisdom.  Help them become capable, not independent.

Proverbs 4:5-7 Get wisdom; develop good judgment.

    Don’t forget my words or turn away from them.

6 Don’t turn your back on wisdom, for she will protect you.

    Love her, and she will guard you.

7 Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do!

    And whatever else you do, develop good judgment.