Feelings...and Other Inconveniences

By Sarah Dosanjh / Stefanie MicheleSociety & Culture Education Self-Improvement Personal Journals

Feelings...and Other Inconveniences episodes

August 29 22. We Want to Focus, But Our Brains Have Other Plans
Why can't we focus anymore, even on things we genuinely want to do?

We started with focus and quickly got into the messier question of what actually gets in the way of it. Because "just concentrate" is not especially helpful when your brain is juggling decisions, pressure, resistance, and a phone that can rescue you from all of it in half a second.

We talk about procrastination, social media, decision fatigue, perfectionism, attention span, and why some tasks seem to require an unreasonable amount of psychological preparation before you can simply begin them.

There's also quite a lot about writing books, avoiding writing books, deleting Instagram, needing accountability, and the inconvenient possibility that resistance is sometimes useful information.

Basically: if you keep wondering why you can't just sit down and do the thing, we have spent an entire episode overthinking it for you.

More from Stefanie Michele:

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48 min
July 25 21. Boundaries: A Simple Concept Until You Try It
What do we actually mean when we talk about boundaries—and why do they bring up so much guilt, confusion, and defensiveness? Stefanie and Sarah discuss the difference between people-pleasing and genuinely caring for someone, why a boundary can sometimes be a rejection, and how protecting ourselves can become rigid when we are first learning to say no. They also explore receiving other people's boundaries, knowing when to explain ourselves, overcorrecting after years of putting others first, and developing enough trust in ourselves to move between giving, declining, protecting, and participating with greater flexibility.

more from Stefanie Michele:

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More from Sarah Dosanjh:

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38 min
June 27 20. Would You Rather Be Happy or Be Right: wanting other people to change
In this episode, Stefanie Michele and Sarah Dosanjh talk about the exhausting and very human wish to get other people to change. What is the difference between having a boundary and secretly waiting for someone to become different? How do we know when we are naming something real versus getting pulled into a familiar fight? Through personal examples around family dynamics, guilt, defensiveness, justice, acceptance, and safety, they explore why certain patterns are so hard to stop reacting to — and what becomes possible when we stop making change the price of peace.
41 min
May 30 19. Am I Just Lazy or Is Everyone Else Lying?
In this episode, we talk about that very normal, very annoying experience of looking at someone else and thinking, How are they doing all of that? Sarah thinks of people juggling parenting, careers, caregiving, YouTube, groups, books, and actual life admin. Stefanie thinks less about quantity and more about quality, like the people who seem to have the team, the polish, the systems, and the professional course suite.

So we get into what comparison is actually poking at: capacity, overwhelm, uncertainty, caregiving, business pressure, self-judgment, and the fear that everyone else is somehow moving forward while you are still trying to answer one email from the book cover designer.

Sarah talks about caring for her dad while he's very unwell, the anticipatory grief of not knowing what comes next, and the strange guilt of finding something hard when you can imagine someone else having it harder. Stefanie talks about the difference between what people see online and what they don't see: the areas where work feels alive and energizing, and the other areas of life where the wheels are maybe not exactly spinning gracefully.

We also discuss why frustration can sometimes feel preferable to fear or despair, how comparison fills in the blanks of other people's lives, and why someone else's strengths are not separate from the rest of their actual life.

A conversation about capacity, comparison, caregiving, business, burnout, admin dread, hidden deficits, visible strengths, and the exhausting little fantasy that everyone else has somehow been issued more spoons and a better working relationship with productivity.

STEF LINKS:

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SARAH LINKS:

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Groups
42 min
May 02 18. Who Are You Without the Struggle?
This episode is about why familiar suffering can sometimes feel safer than relief.

We talk about how long-term struggles can become tied to identity, safety, meaning, avoidance, legitimacy, and the hope that someone will finally notice how much pain you're in. Through the lens of eating disorder recovery, depression, anxiety, body image, and the fantasy of rescue, we explore why letting go of suffering can feel less like instant freedom and more like losing a familiar place to go.

We also talk about the difference between pain and suffering, why the nervous system returns to old pathways, and what it can mean to build more choice when struggle has been part of your sense of self for a long time.

STEF LINKS: Emails Instagram YouTube Substack

SARAH LINKS: Blog YouTube Groups
45 min
March 2817. Do You Want to Be Seen (But Also Want to Hide)?
Why do we want to be seen… and also feel the urge to hide?

In this episode of Feelings and Other Inconveniences, we unpack the psychology of being seen — from social media and identity curation to the deeper fear of judgment, rejection, and being misunderstood.

We explore:

the difference between being seen vs being looked at

how fear of judgment and rejection shapes what we share

the pressure of social media, visibility, and validation

why being accurately understood matters more than just being visible

how people-pleasing, comparison, and identity influence how much space we take up

the vulnerability of putting yourself out there (including writing a book and public exposure)

This conversation gets into the real tension between visibility and safety — and why even confident, self-aware people still wrestle with it.

If you've ever overthought a post, held yourself back in a conversation, or worried about how you're being perceived, this episode is for you.
Not sure what to write? You can literally just copy and paste this: BEST PODCAST EVER — A UNIQUE REVIEW We won't argue with you.
More About Stefanie Michele:

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Full But Not Finished on YouTube

More About Sarah Dosanjh:

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Website

Book: I Can't Stop Eating
43 min
February 2816. Why Don't I Do What I Say I'll Do?!
In this episode, Stefanie Michele and Sarah Dosanjh dig into a familiar problem: why we don't do the things we know help us.

Using real-life examples (walks, movement, scheduling, tiny "extra steps" that somehow feel huge), they unpack how mental load, environment cues, and internal parts create resistance.

They explore the difference between shame-driven self-talk and real self-compassion, how validating resistance can loosen it, and when "understanding why" is the turning point.

Expect practical takeaways, parts-work insight, and a refreshingly human conversation about motivation, inertia, and follow-through.
Leave us a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform — it helps more than you'd think (and yes, we actually read them). Not sure what to write? You can literally just copy and paste this: BEST PODCAST EVER — A UNIQUE REVIEW We won't argue with you.
More About Stefanie Michele:

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Substack

Website

Full But Not Finished on YouTube

More About Sarah Dosanjh:

YouTube

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Website

Book: I Can't Stop Eating
41 min
January 3115. The World Is On Fire (and your nervous system knows it)
In this episode of Feelings… and Other Inconveniences, Stefanie Michele (certified coach + somatic practitioner) and Sarah Dosanjh (psychotherapist + author) unpack what it means to stay emotionally sane when the world feels like it's on fire. We talk about the tightrope between staying informed and getting emotionally flooded (or going numb), why social media comments can feel more destabilising than the headlines, and how two people can watch the same thing and walk away with entirely different realities (hello, "the dress" — but with much higher stakes). We also explore how values, identity, and nervous system states shape what we perceive as "truth", and why a calm response to an un-calm situation isn't always the goal. Most importantly: we get practical. If you've been trying to "think your way out" of stress, we'll share nervous-system-friendly ways to discharge what your body is holding. If you're feeling overwhelmed, helpless, furious, frozen, guilty for switching off, guilty for staying tuned in… you're not alone. Leave us a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform — it helps more than you'd think (and yes, we actually read them). Not sure what to write? You can literally just copy and paste this: BEST PODCAST EVER — A UNIQUE REVIEW We won't argue with you.
More About Stefanie Michele:

Instagram

Substack

Website

Full But Not Finished on YouTube

More About Sarah Dosanjh:

YouTube

Instagram

Website

Book: I Can't Stop Eating
42 min
December 27, 202514. Goals, Intentions, and that New Year Feeling
It's that time of year when everyone starts acting like January is a reset button and a goal will save their life.

In this episode, Sarah and Stefanie talk about goals without the usual hype. The kind that actually fit your values versus the ones you absorb from culture and then punish yourself for not wanting. They get into why goal language can feel weirdly controlling, why outcome-based goals can ramp up pressure fast, and what changes when you shift toward intention, presence, and process instead of chasing a finish line.

If goal season makes you feel motivated and vaguely annoyed (or just tired), this conversation will make you feel less alone — and probably a little clearer about what you actually want going into 2026.

Tune in to hear about...

Why "goal season" can feel motivating and weirdly pressurizing

The difference between borrowed goals (culture-approved) and goals that actually fit you

Goals vs. intentions: why intention can feel more flexible and human

Process goals vs. outcome goals (and why process can be less mentally suffocating)

What it looks like to release outcome-control without giving up on growth

How "productivity culture" sneaks into personal development language

Why certain goals (especially body/weight-related ones) are more loaded

Redefining success around presence, alignment, and capacity

Knowing when stepping back is growth (not "falling behind")

The push-pull of action vs. receptivity (masculine/feminine energy)

Picking a "word for the year" as a softer entry point into change

Love the episode?
Leave us a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform — it helps more than you'd think (and yes, we actually read them). Not sure what to write? You can literally just copy and paste this: BEST PODCAST EVER — A UNIQUE REVIEW We won't argue with you.
More About Stefanie Michele:

Instagram

Substack

Website

Full But Not Finished on YouTube

More About Sarah Dosanjh:

YouTube

Instagram

Website

Book: I Can't Stop Eating
41 min
December 13, 202513. The Mental Load: Why Our Brains Won't Switch Off
In this episode of Feelings… and Other Inconveniences, we dive into the invisible weight of mental load – the constant thinking, tracking and planning that never seems to switch off, even when we are "off duty."

Are we confusing mental load with caring?

What happens in our bodies when we are carrying too much?

And what do we believe will fall apart if we stop managing everything?

We talk about: 💫 How to tell the difference between stress and anxiety in real life, not just in theory 💫 Caring for ageing parents, parenting, work and that feeling of always having "one more thing" to do 💫 The idea of open loops and why unfinished tasks drain so much energy 💫 When mental load becomes part of our identity and why letting go can feel selfish 💫 Control, non-attachment and those fleeting moments of "I actually don't mind what happens" 💫 Guilt, people pleasing and why even help from others can trigger discomfort If your brain feels like it is running a full-time job no one is paying you for, this one is for you. Love the episode? Leave us a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform — it helps more than you'd think (and yes, we actually read them). Not sure what to write? You can literally just copy and paste this: BEST PODCAST EVER — A UNIQUE REVIEW We won't argue with you.
More About Stefanie Michele:

Instagram

Substack

Website

Full But Not Finished on YouTube

More About Sarah Dosanjh:

YouTube

Instagram

Website

Book: I Can't Stop Eating
45 min

About Feelings...and Other Inconveniences

From the publisher's feed

Feelings...and Other Inconveniences is our honest, curious, and sometimes humble look at the things we carry, why we carry them, and how we start putting some of it down.