In this episode of Feelings… and Other Inconveniences, we dive into the invisible weight of mental load – the constant thinking, tracking and planning that never seems to switch off, even when we are "off duty."

• Are we confusing mental load with caring?
• What happens in our bodies when we are carrying too much?
• And what do we believe will fall apart if we stop managing everything?

We talk about: 💫 How to tell the difference between stress and anxiety in real life, not just in theory 💫 Caring for ageing parents, parenting, work and that feeling of always having "one more thing" to do 💫 The idea of open loops and why unfinished tasks drain so much energy 💫 When mental load becomes part of our identity and why letting go can feel selfish 💫 Control, non-attachment and those fleeting moments of "I actually don't mind what happens" 💫 Guilt, people pleasing and why even help from others can trigger discomfort If your brain feels like it is running a full-time job no one is paying you for, this one is for you. Love the episode? Leave us a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform — it helps more than you'd think (and yes, we actually read them). Not sure what to write? You can literally just copy and paste this: BEST PODCAST EVER — A UNIQUE REVIEW We won't argue with you.

More About Stefanie Michele:

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• Full But Not Finished on YouTube

More About Sarah Dosanjh:

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• Book: I Can't Stop Eating

In this episode, hosts Sarah Dosanjh, psychotherapist and author, and Stefanie Michele, certified coach and somatic practitioner, dive into the complex psychology of external validation—why we crave approval, how it shapes our sense of worth, and what it means to find confidence that isn't dependent on others.

They explore how early attachment experiences and mirroring affect our lifelong need for recognition, why creative or purpose-driven work can heighten validation sensitivity, and how to tell the difference between healthy acknowledgment vs dependency.

Stefanie reflects on her own relationship with feedback as both a mirror and a trap, while Sarah discusses how surrender, faith, and trust in a larger process help ground her self-worth beyond productivity or external praise.

The conversation also looks at how social media and online culture amplify our validation loops, creating a false sense of connection while eroding genuine self-trust.

Together, they unpack the nervous system's role in these patterns—how seeking approval often mirrors our search for safety—and offer insights for cultivating inner steadiness through awareness, connection, and compassion.

Listeners will come away with a deeper understanding of:

• Why we're wired to seek validation and how it ties to belonging

• The role of early attachment in adult self-worth

• How to discern acknowledgment from dependency

• Why social media intensifies validation needs

• Somatic and psychological tools for grounding self-esteem

Love the episode? Leave us a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform — it helps more than you'd think (and yes, we actually read them). Not sure what to write? You can literally just copy and paste this: BEST PODCAST EVER — A UNIQUE REVIEW We won't argue with you.

More About Stefanie Michele:

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• Book: I Can't Stop Eating

Most of us know the voice: the one that points out what we should have done differently, or insists we're falling short. In this episode, Stefanie Michele (coach and somatic practitioner) and Sarah (psychotherapist and author) unpack the inner critic—where it begins, how it shows up, and how to shift it from a harsh opponent into something more useful.

They explore how the critic is shaped by cultural pressures, authority figures, and even the small conclusions we draw ourselves, like comparing our bodies to others as kids. They distinguish between the "interjector" critic (the voices we internalize) and the "concluder" critic (the judgments we create), showing how both can take root and influence our sense of self.

This conversation also looks at:

• How to recognize the difference between criticism and healthy self-reflection

• Why the tone of inner dialogue matters as much as the content

• The role of validation in softening self-judgment and creating room for growth

• How "fierce self-compassion" can turn frustration with cultural expectations into a source of strength

• The possibility that the critic is sometimes protective, trying to keep us safe by holding us in familiar territory

Rather than trying to silence the critic altogether, Stefanie and Sarah consider what happens when we meet it with curiosity, compassion, and a little reframing—so that voice becomes less of a tormentor and more of a reluctant ally.

Love the episode? Leave us a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform — it helps more than you'd think (and yes, we actually read them). Not sure what to write? You can literally just copy and paste this: BEST PODCAST EVER — A UNIQUE REVIEW We won't argue with you.

More About Stefanie Michele:

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• Book: I Can't Stop Eating

At what point does sharing turn into oversharing? Is it when you tell a near-stranger about your mother's complicated relationship with salad? When you explain your latest existential crisis to the Uber driver who only asked if you wanted the radio on? Or when you admit to a friend that you sometimes rehearse conversations in your head before you have them (I mean that sounds right?) — but how do you know the difference?

In this episode, Stefanie Michele (coach + somatic practitioner) and Sarah Dosanjh (psychotherapist + author) explore what makes a disclosure feel like "too much." They start by asking who actually gets to decide what's too much, and why the line between connection and cringe depends so much on context.

They reflect on their own histories: Sarah admits she's often baffled when people keep things close to the vest, while Stefanie shares how growing up with a nondisclosing mother sometimes felt like rejection. Together, they unpack how family patterns, shame, and the infamous "mother wound" influence what we reveal, what we guard, and what we might later regret saying.

The conversation winds through:

• The nervous energy that leads to blurting things out (and the 3 a.m. spiral that follows)

• The difference between authentic vulnerability and using personal stories like conversational grenades

• The awkwardness of being on the receiving end of a stranger's unfiltered life story while trapped in a checkout line

• The protective function of privacy, and why some people's "TMI" is another person's baseline intimacy

• The fine line between gossip and sharing — and why intent matters more than the headline

Some oversharing is about organizing thoughts out loud, some of it is about wanting to be seen, and some of it is just a nervous system looking for a release valve. The trick, as they argue, is knowing when sharing builds connection — and when it makes both sides wish for an eject button.

If you've ever wondered why you said that thing, to that person, at that time (and why you can't stop replaying it), this episode offers perspective, a little humor, and maybe some solidarity in the mess of being human.

Love the episode? Leave us a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform — it helps more than you'd think (and yes, we actually read them). Not sure what to write? You can literally just copy and paste this: BEST PODCAST EVER — A UNIQUE REVIEW We won't argue with you.

More About Stefanie Michele:

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• Website: Work With Me
• Wednesday Emails

More About Sarah Dosanjh:

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• Website
• Book: I Can't Stop Eating

Think you're lazy? In this episode of Feelings and Other Inconveniences, therapists Sarah Dosanjh and Stefanie Michele pull apart one of the most loaded labels we give ourselves: laziness. Is it a real trait—or just a label we slap on something deeper?

From resistance to overwhelm, passive rebellion to the emotional weight of impossible expectations, they dig into the psychology behind why we sometimes can't (or won't) act.

Stefanie shares personal moments when she mistook depression for laziness, and Sarah reflects on how "doing nothing" can actually be an act of protection. Together, they explore how shame, energy levels, and hidden beliefs all play into our inertia—and how reframing the word "lazy" can free us from pointless self-blame.

Stay tuned at the end to hear practical strategies that can help unstick mental blocks. More importantly, you'll learn how to see these moments not as failures, but as signposts pointing to what you really need.

If you've ever called yourself lazy (or been called lazy by someone else), this episode might just change the way you see yourself.

Love the episode? Leave us a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform — it helps more than you'd think (and yes, we actually read them). Not sure what to write? You can literally just copy and paste this: BEST PODCAST EVER — A UNIQUE REVIEW We won't argue with you.

More About Stefanie Michele:

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• Website: Work With Me
• Wednesday Emails

More About Sarah Dosanjh:

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• Website
• Book: I Can't Stop Eating

What if your biggest regret at the end of your life was never truly living as yourself?

In this episode, Sarah and Stef crack open the #1 regret of the dying—wishing they'd had the courage to live authentically, not just follow the script written by others.

With raw honesty and a dash of humor, the hosts swap stories about breaking free from expectations—whether it's skipping university, ditching a "dream job," or proudly embracing cat-lady status.

They dig into why it's so hard to know what you really want, how people-pleasing and cultural "shoulds" sneak into our choices, and why sometimes it's not about courage, but capacity.

• 0:37 – The Origin: Regrets of the Dying: Introducing Bronnie Ware's "Top 5 Regrets" and the #1 regret: not living true to yourself.

• 1:33 – The Terry Crews Story: Sarah shares Terry Crews' realization that he never wanted the life he was living, despite outward success.

• 2:40 – Personal Expectations & Breaking the Mold: Sarah's story: questioning university, career in the police, and resisting the pressure to always "grow" her business.

• 7:52 – Stef's Career Pivots & Meaning: Stef's journey: journalism, therapy, and the struggle to find satisfaction and meaning beyond external validation.

• 12:11 – Is It Courage or Capacity: The hosts debate whether it's really about courage, or if sometimes we just lack the capacity to change. Because Stef always makes it an issue.

• 14:39 – Social Judgment & Authentic Choices: How fear of judgment and people-pleasing can keep us from living authentically; Sarah's choice to be single.

• 16:56 – The Conveyor Belt of Life: Waking up to the "automation" of life, questioning mainstream beliefs, and the challenge of knowing what you truly want.

• 25:15 – Mainstream, Subcultures & Critical Thinking: How even "anti-mainstream" ideas can become dogma; the importance of questioning what you subscribe to.

• 38:00 – Listener Challenge: Going Against the Grain: The hosts ask: What's the last thing you did that was truly for yourself, even if it went against the grain? They share their own recent examples.

Love the episode? Leave us a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform — it helps more than you'd think (and yes, we actually read them). Not sure what to write? You can literally just copy and paste this: BEST PODCAST EVER — A UNIQUE REVIEW We won't argue with you.

More About Stefanie Michele:

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• Website: Work With Me
• Wednesday Emails

More About Sarah Dosanjh:

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• Website
• Book: I Can't Stop Eating

Do our good deeds really count if they also make us feel good? In this episode, psychotherapist Sarah Dosanjh and coach Stefanie Michele unpack the messy middle between selflessness and self-interest. From love languages to financial guilt, they explore how early conditioning, ego, and the need for connection shape our most generous acts. With personal stories and candid reflections, this conversation invites you to rethink what it means to give—and whether "selfish" is really a bad word after all. 00:12 Exploring Selfless Acts 00:58 Client's Struggle with Gift Giving 02:10 Love Languages and Self-Interest 04:43 Personal Stories of Generosity 08:34 Scarcity vs. Abundance Mindset 16:27 Reflecting on Generosity and Identity 21:19 The Psychology of Connection and Gift Giving 22:13 Understanding Guilt and Morality 23:04 The Dynamics of Motivation 24:20 Selfishness and Self-Care 27:55 Balancing Generosity and Self-Interest 30:23 Navigating Social Interactions and Personal Boundaries Love the episode? Leave us a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform — it helps more than you'd think (and yes, we actually read them). Not sure what to write? You can literally just copy and paste this: BEST PODCAST EVER — A UNIQUE REVIEW We won't argue with you.

More About Stefanie Michele:

• Instagram
• Substack
• Website: Work With Me
• Wednesday Emails

More About Sarah Dosanjh:

• YouTube
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• Website
• Book: I Can't Stop Eating

This week, Stefanie Michele (coach + somatic practitioner) and Sarah Dosanjh (psychotherapist + author) explore the tender, often confusing territory of outgrowing friendships—and why it can feel more complicated than a breakup.

They unpack what it's like to feel the slow drift, the quiet mismatch, or the emotional flatness in relationships that once felt vital. When values change, life phases shift, or emotional reciprocity feels lopsided, it's hard to know whether to let go, hang on, or renegotiate the dynamic.

The episode weaves in personal stories, including reflections on feeling loyal to people we've quietly drifted from, and how we now values friendships more by emotional return than shared history...but only sometimes?

They also discuss the subtle grief of friendship breakups—the kind that don't get a ritual or a goodbye, just a slow fade. And they look at the tension of trying to grow while staying connected to people who don't necessarily grow in the same direction.

This is a conversation about emotional nuance. About boundaries that aren't rigid, but real. About letting people be who they are while also choosing who gets to be close.

If you've ever wondered whether it's okay to outgrow someone—or if you've stayed in a friendship out of obligation, guilt, or nostalgia—this one's for you.

02:47 Main Topic: Outgrowing Friendships 11:01 Hypothetical Scenarios and Personal Experiences 16:05 Navigating Difficult Friendships 20:26 Boundaries and People-Pleasing 24:33 Influence of Close Relationships 26:47 Changing Voices and Influences 27:20 Toxic Positivity and Choosing Influences 28:04 Friendships and Emotional Connections 28:59 Navigating Adult Friendships 31:21 Healthy Boundaries in Friendships 31:55 Friendship Dynamics and Evolution 42:06 Grieving Friendship Loss 50:18 Reflections and Closing Thoughts Love the episode? Leave us a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform — it helps more than you'd think (and yes, we actually read them). Not sure what to write? You can literally just copy and paste this: BEST PODCAST EVER — A UNIQUE REVIEW We won't argue with you.

More About Stefanie Michele:

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• Website: Work With Me
• Wednesday Emails

More About Sarah Dosanjh:

• YouTube
• Instagram
• Website
• Book: I Can't Stop Eating

Do you ever get that feeling like something bad is just around the corner—even when things are going fine? In this episode, Sarah and Stef unpack the sneaky mindset of waiting for the other shoe to drop. Is it intuition? Is it trauma? Is it your hormones? From personal stories to psychological insight, they dig into the difference between gut feelings and hypervigilance, why calm can feel suspicious, and how to start trusting safety when you're wired for threat. If you've ever struggled to feel peace without also feeling suspicious of it—this one's for you. 00:45 Understanding 'Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop' 01:06 Origins of the Phrase 02:45 Personal Experiences and Perspectives 10:11 Intuition vs. Anxiety 13:33 The Rocking Chair Metaphor 20:44 Trust and Anxiety 21:48 Exploring Physiological Triggers of Anxiety 23:25 The Role of Hormones in Anxiety 23:58 Understanding Peace and Regulation 25:00 The Concept of Baseline and Hedonic Treadmill 26:54 The Struggle with Accepting Low Moods 32:21 The Need for Stimulation and Change 36:42 The Call for Action or Intuition 37:47 The Emotional Wall and Breakdown Love the episode? Leave us a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform — it helps more than you'd think (and yes, we actually read them). Not sure what to write? You can literally just copy and paste this: BEST PODCAST EVER — A UNIQUE REVIEW We won't argue with you.

More About Stefanie Michele:

• Instagram
• Substack
• Website: Work With Me
• Wednesday Emails

More About Sarah Dosanjh:

• YouTube
• Instagram
• Website
• Book: I Can't Stop Eating

Not everyone is going to "get" us—but being misunderstood still stings.

In this episode, Stefanie Michele (coach + somatic practitioner) and Sarah Dosanjh (psychotherapist + author) dig into the uncomfortable and triggering feeling of being misunderstood—especially in a world that thrives on hot takes and out-of-context clips.

From the chaos of YouTube comments to subtle miscommunications in daily life, they explore what gets activated when people don't "get" us, why it's not always about ego, and how to stay rooted in your own truth without needing to over-explain.

They're not here to convince anyone of anything. Just a sharp, honest conversation about the gap between what we mean and what people hear—and how to hold your ground anyway.

Stefanie Michele:

• Instagram
• Substack
• Website: Work With Me
• Wednesday Emails

Sarah Dosanjh:

• YouTube
• Instagram
• Website
• Book: I Can't Stop Eating