Fight for a Happy Life with Sensei Ando: Martial Arts for Everyday Life

Welcome to Episode #41 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Back to Basics.”

What did piano lessons teach me about being a better martial artist? A lot!

In this episode, I share a few tips for building a better life by doing more of less, instead of less of more!

To LISTEN to, “Back to Basics”, you can either:

To READ along, or if the player won’t play, you’ll find a full transcript down below.

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Oh—and don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re released.

Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life! 🙂

TRANSCRIPT

Welcome to Episode #41 of Fight for a Happy Life, the show that believes a little martial arts makes life a whole lot better.

 My name is Ando, you know that, and as always, I’m happy, I’m excited, I’m thrilled, that you could drop by.

Now, I’m going to warn you right now… you’re not going to like today’s show. That’s because I’m going to nag you to practice your basics. Most people hate practicing basics. But maybe you’re not like most people. Maybe you’re smarter than the average wanna-be martial arts masta.

What am I saying? Of course you’re smarter! You’re listening to this show! You’re a friggin’ genius. Clearly, you have excellent taste. But I’m going to nag you anyway.

Why? Well, I need to nag myself. The truth is every one of these podcasts and videos and articles I put up on my website is really a reminder to me to get my priorities straight and do things right. I share what I need to learn. And if sharing what I need to hear can help get you where you want to go, too, then I’m a happy guy.

So, here we go… let the nagging begin.

[1:44]  Like many children, my mom signed me up for piano lessons. My teacher, Miss T, would tell me to sit up straight, raise my wrists, and curve my fingers. So, I did. She showed me how to play all the basic scales and very simple songs like, Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.

She also told me to practice. Practice my basics. And like many children, when I practiced, it didn’t take long before I was looking out the window, bored and grumpy. And when a student gets bored and grumpy, that usually leads to breaking some rules. And that’s exactly what I did.

First, I slouched. Then I wondered, “What happens if I don’t raise my wrists? What if I play with flat fingers?” And do you know what happened when I broke all those rules? Nothing. I could still play all the basic scales. I could still play Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. And if you closed your eyes, you’d never know if I was playing with proper posture and proper mechanics or not.

This, my friend, is a critical moment in every student’s learning process. This is the moment when a student begins to distrust their teacher.

“Why would Miss T tell me to do something that doesn’t make any difference? Why should I listen to her advice?” Thinking like that marks the origin of the rebel movement or the rock ‘n’ roll culture. This is exactly how people begin to believe that the rules don’t apply to them. That tradition should be overthrown. That anything old-fashioned is a waste of time. But in most cases, they’re wrong. Very, very wrong. Here’s why—

It doesn’t matter whether you’re learning how to play piano, throw a punch, or just live life as a teenager… if you ignore the experience of your elders, if you disregard the advice of those who have gone before you, you’re just going to make it harder on yourself.

Let’s go back to the piano. If you continue with piano lessons, you will be expected to play more complex music. You’ll be asked to play with every finger, not just one or two. You’ll be required to play at faster and faster tempos. Your recital piece will increase from one or two minutes to a half-hour. You’ll eventually learn that playing piano is as much an endurance sport as it is a musical performance.

So, while the beginner is absolutely correct in thinking, “Hey, I don’t need proper basic technique to play, ‘Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star,’” the beginner is dead wrong thinking, “I don’t need proper basic technique to perform a Franz Liszt piano concerto.”

If you try to play an advanced piece of music with bad posture, lowered wrists, and flat fingers, not only won’t you be able to play it, you’ll probably fall off the bench and hurt your head. The lesson here is that playing at the highest levels is only possible for those who practiced the proper basic technique right from the very beginning.

The same is true in sparring. When you begin in martial arts, maybe your teacher tells you to keep your hands up. But maybe you only attend a beginner’s class and you only spar with other beginners. And since they’re not very good at attacking, you find that you don’t really need to be very good at defending. You don’t need to keep your hands up. So, then you conclude, hey, the rules are made to be broken and you can do things your way, not the teacher’s way.

Okay. But then you move up another level and start fighting with students with real skills, advanced skills… and now you get rocked. Your bad habits are getting you beat up.

It’s no different off the mats. I can think of a couple of friends—and I’ll bet you can, too—who back in their 20’s said the heck with building a career, the heck with saving money. And now they’re almost 50—no job, no savings, no health care, no retirement plan, no security whatsoever. It’s only now at an advanced age that they realize that all that old-fashioned wisdom they ignored, all the advice they thought was stupid, was important after all. And now it’s too late. They’re getting beat up, too.

That’s why it’s important to remember, whether you’re a beginner in the martial arts or anything else… investing in the basics doesn’t pay off in the short-term, it pays off in the long-term.

[6:34]  Have you ever thought about how the basics became the basics in the first place? The way I see it, the basics were created by winners. The people who succeeded in what they were doing. The winners looked back at their long journey and they figured out the most important ideas, the most important tools, that led to their success, then they passed them down to the beginners to help them become winners, too.

The basics are the building blocks that can be combined and sequenced to get you to the advanced levels of whatever it is you want to do. So, if you want to play at the most advanced levels of piano, martial arts, or life, you should listen to the winners. And if they say start with A, B, and C, then you should commit yourself to mastering A, B, and C.

Now, as easy as that may sound, there is a complication here—committing yourself requires faith in your teachers. Unfortunately, not all teachers are deserving of your faith. Some teachers are just repeating what they heard from the winners, which is not always the same thing. Sometimes teachers don’t hear the winners correctly. Or they change what they were told. Or they stopped working before they made it to the advanced levels themselves, which means now they’re missing information. Worse, they might simply make up information to fill in the blanks in their own experience.

You see this in every walk of life, but for sure, in martial arts. I can’t even tell you how many martial artists I have met in person or online who tell me how they’ve created their own style. They say, “Yeah, I did Kempo for 4 months, some Wing Chun for about a year, and oh, my friend is a boxer, so I just took the best of everything and put it together.”

Oh, did you? Well, sorry to tell you, but most of the people who talk like that suck. I’m just going to say it like that. They suck. As much as I respect anybody training in the martial arts, that level of ignorance is dangerous.

Maybe if these guys only practiced by themselves, hey, that’s one thing, but when they take on students or present themselves as experts, that’s just reckless.

Now, to be clear, I’m not against people making up their own style. Every style you can name was made up by somebody, so do your thing. But being a beginner in three different martial arts does not make you an expert of anything. Actually, you’re an expert in quitting. That’s it. You have mastered no basics. You have developed no skills. Your opinion is based on first impressions.

Yes, martial arts is a personal journey, which means, hey, you can pick and choose whatever methods and techniques work for you. Fine. But if you’re only picking and choosing from what you learned in a month or even a year of training, or off of videos, off of YouTube, how can you possibly tell if something works or doesn’t? If you think you can judge that quickly, then I would say your standard of evidence is low. Ridiculously low.

Personally, I’ve been practicing martial arts for 30 years and only now am I beginning to consolidate everything into my own thing. And I’m still learning! I still take classes and private lessons. And I’m not telling you that to make it sound like, oh, I’m the greatest martial artist who ever lived—I’m not–but if I tell you something works for me, you can believe that I’ve tested it over and over again.

[10:11]  I not only committed myself to learning and practicing the basics, I had faith to stick it out to see where those basics led. Which is why, today, I believe in the basics more than ever. And that’s why I’m nagging you to believe in your basics, too.

If a white belt throws a front kick and a black belt throws a front kick, they shouldn’t really look the same. Even though it’s the same move, the black belt’s precision, control, consistency, and power should make it seem like a very different movement.

Now think about a jump front kick. A jump front kick starts with a good stance with legs bent. Then a jumping knee to get you moving. Then a front kick in the air. Then you land back in your stance, balanced, ready for the next move. Now, if any of those basic movements have not been practiced enough—the stance, the knee, the kick—then the whole technique falls apart.

If you can’t throw a front kick on the ground, then how are you going to throw it up in the air? You can’t. This applies to all advanced techniques. I mean, if you can’t perform a hip throw on a willing training partner in the dojo, how are you going to pull it off on an unwilling attacker on the street? You won’t.

It’s very hard for students to understand that. We all want to jump ahead and do something fancy. But listen to me—fancy is built on basic.

When students fall apart in the middle of trying a fancy throw or a cool takedown, I see it all the time, they get frustrated. They get frustrated with themselves or sometimes they get frustrated with me. They say, “Hey—this move doesn’t work.” And I say, “Oh, the move works… you don’t work. Your stance is weak. Your head is up too high. You don’t rotate your hips. You hold your breath. In other words, go practice your basics. You have to do the work to make it work.”

Now, I don’t want you to think I’m being whiny about this. My Kung Fu teacher, my BJJ teacher, and the best Karate guy I know, they all complain about their students not knowing their basics. Not drilling the fundamentals. Like me, they get frustrated because they’ve told their students from day one how to succeed. But they won’t do it. And why is that?

Because most people prefer learning new techniques to finding something new in their old techniques. Most people want a shiny, new toy to play with instead of polishing the toys they already have. Most people go wide in their quest for knowledge and skill instead of deep. They go outside instead of inside. But true masters, the winners, yeah, they don’t have these problems.

Imagine what would happen if we could get back to basics and focus on the fundamentals in every part of our lives instead of trusting in shortcuts and hacks and gimmicks.

Wait—did I say imagine what would happen? Hey, how about actually doing it!

I hereby challenge you—yes, you!—to take the time to identify the fundamentals in every part of your life and then commit yourself to mastering them. The odds are you already know exactly what you should be doing… now it’s just a matter of having the faith to commit to it once and for all.

Now, I don’t want you to be too hard on yourself if you’re not already a master of the basics in every part of your life. That’s a tall order. Here’s the truth—

It takes time to respect the rules. To value the basics. To see what works and what doesn’t and why. To stop seeking the new and appreciate the old.

It’s especially hard in the martial arts where there are so many shiny toys to choose from. So many moves. So many styles. For a very long time, I thought more was better. I wanted to learn as many moves from as many teachers in as many styles as I could. But it was overwhelming. And frustrating.

I figured out pretty fast that it was going to be impossible to see and remember every move from every style. And even if I could see and remember every move from every style, guess what? There would never be enough time to practice it all. You simply can’t be a master of everything. It’s hard enough to master one thing. Which is why it’s so important to get back to the basics. To turn your focus back on what you already know.

[15:33]  As a teacher, I can tell you how I know when someone is on the wrong path. It’s actually very simple. Whenever I hear someone say that practice is boring, I know they’ll never be a master. If I ask a student to go throw 100 punches and they groan or roll their eyes, well, they’re telling me they don’t understand the learning process.

Now, I’m going to tell you something you probably won’t believe, but it’s true—I have never been bored during practice. Never. Ever. Not once. Piano, yes. Martial arts, no. Maybe that’s the best way to figure out what to do with your life. Find the activity that bores you the least.

For me, practice is only boring if I’m not focused on improving. If you tune out and focus on counting to 100, or you’re staring at the clock, well, then no wonder you’re bored—you’re not practicing correctly.

You’re supposed to be focused on getting better with each rep. You’re supposed to be going through emotions not just motions.

You should feel frustrated, you should feel inspired, you should feel encouraged, you should feel the excitement of discovery, you should feel pride in accomplishment, then return to frustration again when you find something new that has to be improved.

No joke—practicing for me is as exciting as watching an action movie. I’m the hero battling against the impossible task of becoming perfect. In my experience, when you turn your practice into an emotional journey, you’ll build skill and knowledge. You’ll also build character and confidence.

Here’s another way I can tell if a student is on the path to mastery or the road to mediocrity. After running a drill, it doesn’t matter what it is, it could be push-ups, it could be a form, it could be sparring, it could be just meditating for a moment, I’ll ask, “Was that easy or was that hard?”

Most students puff up their chests and say, “Easy!” They think if they can get through a drill without working hard, without breathing hard, without sweating, well, they must be good at it. Wrong answer!

I suggest to these students that if something is easy, then you weren’t really trying. I mean, call me crazy, but nothing is easy if you do it with 100% of your mind, body, and spirit.

Let’s imagine you’re a world-class sprinter. Let’s say you’re in the Olympics. You’re in great shape. You’re one of the fastest people on the planet. You are a master runner. And when that gun goes off, and you explode off the blocks, even if it’s just the 100-meter dash, would you ever say that was easy? No! Running at an advanced level takes everything you’ve got. At least if you want to win.

And the same is true for every single thing that you do… and that includes practicing your basics. To really focus your attention, to really coordinate every muscle fiber, to really feel the movement, you must work.

So, don’t be so easy on yourself when you practice. Your training should exhaust you mentally, physically, and emotionally. If you practice like that, I promise, you’ll never be bored again.

This might apply to you right now or maybe some day in the future. Okay, you know that beginners love to ask questions, right? Why is my hand on my hip? Why do we turn this way instead of that way? Why do we practice this horse stance? We never use it!

Well, I want you to recognize that a question is an attempt to build faith in what you’re teaching. They want to believe in what you’re doing, but if they don’t have a reason to do something, they probably won’t. So, if you respond to a question by saying, “Don’t worry about that now,” or, “Because that’s the right way to do it,” or the worst one, “Because I said so,” well, just be warned that you’re pushing your students in the wrong direction. You’re actually pushing them towards the door.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about that wise guy student who keeps asking, “Well, what if this,” or “What if that.” I have no patience for that. I’m talking about questions that will reveal the value of fundamentals.

I don’t care if a student is five years old, if they ask me a good question, I will give them a good answer. I’ll show them how what they’re practicing right now leads to an advanced skill later. Now, not every teacher will do that, but I really do think you should.

[20:30]  When I think back to my piano teacher, would you believe me if I told you I never actually heard Miss T play the piano? Nope. I would go to lessons, sit down, and she’d just tell me what to do. That’s it.

But imagine what might have happened if when I asked her why I need to raise my wrists, she had said, “Oh, I’ll show you why,” and then launched into a ferocious, awe-inspiring piece of music. Something that made me say, “Wow!” I think I’d be so inspired that I would do anything she said. I’d have faith. I’d commit to mastering those basics. But when teachers just shake their head and tell you to do it because I said so, well, then you just shake your head right back and think, “Well, this is a waste of time.”

Over the years, I’ve met both types of teachers, on the mats and off. When I asked one teacher why we do something, he’d say, “I can’t show you that now, but someday I will.” Another teacher would say, “Oh, here’s why,” then grab me and throw me on the ground. With the first teacher, I left in four years. With the second teacher, I’ve stayed for over 20.

Which is probably why the best advice for teachers and for anyone wanting to have an influence on the world is to lead by example. Show people what you can do. Deliver the goods. Put on a show. Then when people ask you how you do that, well, you can say here’s how—start with these basics.

Unfortunately, in some martial arts, you’ll find teachers who won’t even let you see advanced techniques. They hold separate classes for different skill levels, which is fine, but then they prohibit the beginners from even watching those classes. I mean, wow! I don’t like that at all.

When you create a culture of secrets like that, here’s the message that you end up sending… what you’re doing in the basics class is not that important. The advanced material is so valuable that we protect it, but the basics, well they’re not valuable, so we don’t protect that stuff.

What a completely misguided message. Let me tell you something—I’ve been in the back room. I’ve been to the advanced seminars. I’ve felt the touch of world-class masters in multiple arts. And do you know what I found out? It all comes back to basics.

Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of fancy moves out there. There are sophisticated concepts and techniques that will blow your mind. But… none of them will work if your basics suck. Period. And the world-class masters, yeah, their basics don’t suck.

Now, it’s a little deceiving because when you deal with the big boys and girls, you may not see the basics, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there. In Kung Fu terms, you might say the external has become internal. But you can sure as heck feel them. And once you know what to look for, you really can see them.

So, now you know. The secret to advanced techniques is no secret at all—practice your basics. Work them with a focus on improvement. Work them with your full attention and effort. And don’t just work the basics in martial arts, work them in every part of your life.

And be consistent.

If you master the fundamentals, when the challenges come and the pressure is on, you’ll be prepared. You’ll be ready to stand your ground and put up a good fight. That’s not just the secret to mastering the martial arts, it’s the secret to a happy life.

The post #41: Back to Basics [Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.

Welcome to Episode #40 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Change Your Pants, Change Your Life.”

In this episode, I share a powerful lesson in success I learned from an unlikely teacher… a homeless man.

To LISTEN to, “Change Your Pants, Change Your Life”, you can either:

To READ along, there’s a transcript down below.

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Oh—and don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re published.

Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life! 🙂

TRANSCRIPT

[Starting at 2:09] Not too long ago, I was driving home from Kung Fu class here in sunny L.A. when I came to a stop sign. I was just one block from my place, I was running late to meet my wife, so yeah—I was a little annoyed when a gentleman stepped off the curb and crossed the street in front of me, taking his sweet time.

But I relaxed a little bit when I realized that the gentleman was homeless. He was thin, mid-50’s, unkempt beard, and very sun-burned skin. Watching him cross in front of me gave me a moment to slow down and count my blessings. Especially when I noticed his pants…

He was wearing cream-colored pants and they weren’t just dirty—they were soiled. Yes, I’m saying that this poor soul had defecated in his pants. It was clearly visible.

Now, I don’t want to give you the impression that I give aid to every homeless person I meet or that I’m some kind of saint, because I don’t and I’m not… but on that that day, the vision of that man walking in those pants was unacceptable. It was over the line. So, I sat there thinking, “What can I do?” And it hit me. I’m only one block from home. I’ve got pants I don’t wear. I’ll run home, grab a pair of pants, chase him down, and give them to him. Yes. That’s exactly what I’m going to do.

So, I hit the gas, screeched up the driveway. I marched inside. I told Kate, my wife, to stand back because I was on a mission to hand out pants. I rushed over to my closet and immediately spotted what I needed—not one, but two pairs of brand new Dockers. One light tan, one medium tan, because, you know, I’m a flashy dresser.

Now, a quick backstory. Those pants had been hanging in my closet for over 10 years, but I never wore them. Why? Well, they had cuffs on the bottom and pleats on the top. When I bought them, I thought they looked cool—that’s why I got two pairs. But when I got home, Kate told me I was wrong. She said they weren’t cool. She said real men don’t wear pleats. She said I should take them back.

So, like any good husband, I said she was crazy. I said real men wear whatever the hell they want to wear. And I kept them. And for 10 years, every time I looked at those pants hanging in my closet, I felt a surge of pride that I had held my ground. I never wore them, but I didn’t take them back, either. Which is why now giving those pants to a homeless man would be a perfect ending. Kate would never see me wearing pleats, I would never have to admit defeat, and someone in need would benefit. Everybody wins.

So, I grabbed both pairs of pants and threw them in a plastic bag. And that’s not all… I threw in an old belt, too, because I’m classy like that.

[05:19] Okay. So, now, I run outside, jump in the car, and I peel off to find the homeless man. At the rate he was going, I figured he couldn’t have gotten far… and sure enough, I spotted him just a couple of blocks away. But there was a problem…

As I drove up on him, it hit me—I can’t give him the pants. I mean, what am I supposed to do? Roll down the window and say, “Hey, man—looks like you need some pants,” then throw the bag at him? That would be humiliating! That would be like saying, “Hey, man—I see you filled your pants there. I got you some new ones.”

AGH! Nobody wants to hear that. I mean, if I was homeless, I’d be horrified if someone threw a bag of pants at me. I don’t want to know that somebody knows what happened in my pants. That’s personal. Now, you can call that ego or machismo, I don’t know, but it just didn’t feel right. So, I pulled over and I tried to figure out how I could give him the pants without this poor soul knowing that I knew he needed pants. Is that a ridiculous situation or what?

Thankfully, the answer presented itself all on its own. I’m even tempted to call this a miracle. See what you think. As I sat there stressing out, I watched the homeless man cross the street into a supermarket parking lot. In the parking lot was a clothing donation box. You know, one of those large metal bins where you can drop off old clothes and shoes. Even better, this bin was full, so there were bags of clothes stacked up all around it.

The homeless man, I figured out, was heading over to the bin to find a new pair of pants. So, all I had to do was drive over, pretend I didn’t see him, and drop off the plastic bag. That way, he’d find the pants and he’d never know that I knew. And even if he happened to see me, I’d just give him a smile and say, “God bless you,” and be on my way.

Wow. It was a perfect solution. Like I said, I’m no saint, but at that moment, I could not help but feel that I was part of God’s plan.

Off we go. I got on my white horse and I rode into the lot. The homeless man was busy poking into the bags. He didn’t even notice me. Just to make sure he didn’t miss the pants, I untied my plastic bag so they’d be clearly visible. Then I hopped out of the car and I walked to the far side of the bin so I wouldn’t disturb him. But no luck. He saw me anyway. And as planned, I give him a nod and said, “God bless you.”

He said nothing. Or maybe he did say something. You know what? I can’t be sure because at that moment all I could hear were heavenly trumpets and singing angels. Either way, I walked back to my car and I drove off to park across the street.

Why did I park across the street? Well, because I wanted to see the moment—the glorious moment—when this poor soul discovered the miracle of two brand new pairs of Dockers. And a belt. The moment when his faith in the universe and a loving God was renewed.

And sure enough, the gentleman poked his way over to my plastic bag. He took out the belt and he set it aside. My heart filled with joy. Then he took out the first pair of pants. He held them up in the light and set them aside with the belt. Hallelujah.

He pulled out the second pair, gave them a quick look, and put them back in the plastic bag. Then he packed up the other pair. And the belt.

Then… to my astonishment, he kicked the bag aside and walked off down the street.

That’s right, my friend. The homeless man apparently agreed with my wife that real men don’t wear pleats. This sad soul decided that he would rather keep wearing soiled pants than change into new ones. Even though it was 90 degrees out. Even though they were his size. Even though they were free of charge. Even though they came with a belt and a spare.

No more trumpets. No more angels. I was in shock. I sat there for 10 minutes trying to figure out what went wrong. I still don’t know.

Eventually, I drove home and told Kate how the homeless man rejected my Dockers. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her laugh harder. Talk about the ultimate “I told you so.” As a result, I not only lost my faith in God, I lost my faith in my fashion sense. I don’t think I’ll ever buy a pair of pants again. Not without Kate’s approval, anyway.

[10:19] So, why am I telling you this story? Well, thanks to that gentleman, I now imagine everyone walking around in soiled pants.

Every one of us is walking around with something that we not only should change, but that we can change, but for some reason, don’t.

And everybody knows it! We’re not fooling anyone.

Sure, some of our shortcomings may be a secret, but most aren’t! I’ll bet there are things that you’ve known about yourself, and have been told about yourself, since you were a kid. Things that you want to change, that other people have suggested you change, but you still haven’t changed.

It’s tricky because seeing ourselves honestly is not always easy. It’s also not easy to know if what we hear from others is true or not. It’s also true that we sometimes see our faults as strengths. Maybe people say you’re stubborn or confrontational, but you see those as good qualities. You’re proud to be someone who sticks to your guns or speaks up for yourself. Same traits, different spins.

So, how are we supposed to what to change and what not to change? How can we tell if what we see as our strength is actually something that’s holding us back? Simple. Look at the results you’re getting. Forget about who you think you are and look at what you’re achieving.

If you’re not learning, if you’re not improving, if you’re not finding more fulfillment in your life, something needs to change.

That’s why it’s so important to know what you want out of life, how you define success… that way, you’ll have a way to measure your progress. If you’re not progressing, no matter how hard you think you’re working, no matter how cool you think you are, no matter how well you think you’re dressed, you’re really just walking around in dirty pants.

We’re all presented with opportunities to improve our lives in small and big ways every day. My challenge to you, once you’re clear about what you want out of life, is to recognize all of the ways you can make your life better. Then take action on as many of those opportunities as you can.

What are the most obvious things you can change about your life right now? Where pair of pants can you put on today? It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. It doesn’t have to take a lot of time. All it takes is a commitment to do something.

It could be as simple as getting 15 more minutes of sleep every night. Wouldn’t that be nice? Or how about turning off your phone during dinner? Or starting your day with five minutes of deep breathing? Or clearing the clutter from that one corner of your home. Or maybe every time you feel yourself getting frustrated in traffic or at work, you immediately think of something that makes you feel grateful.

Maybe you can’t afford a new car right now, but can you afford new floor mats for your old car? Maybe you can’t afford a whole new wardrobe, but how about new underwear? That always makes me feel better! Let me give you another personal example…

For years, when I worked out, I wore tattered wrestling boots, old sparring gear, and a grubby mouthguard. Here I am making a living as a professional martial artist and every time I pulled out that gear, I felt like a bum. So, what did I do? One day, I had enough. I went out, I spent a few bucks for new shoes, new gloves, and a new mouthguard. Maybe all told, that was like 120 or 130 bucks.

And guess what? Now, every time I gear up, I feel like a million bucks. I feel like the professional I always wanted to be. I see that new gear and I remind myself that I’m worth the investment. You think that sounds superficial? You think that sounds stupid? You’re wrong.

Making even the smallest change to improve your life not only reflects how you feel about yourself today, it expresses where you see yourself going in the future.

Of course, as powerful as small steps can be in improving your life, you can also take big steps. You might quit your job, go back to school, start a new business, break up with a partner, or maybe you move across the country. Admit it—you think about taking some big steps all the time. You’re probably thinking about one right now. And you probably have the ability to take a big step right now. So, why aren’t you?

[14:53] Let me tell you about a big step I made not too long ago. When I saw the first UFC, like most people, I recognized the importance of ground fighting. But I denied it. For years, even though I knew in my heart that I should find a wrestling class or take up Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, my ego always talked me out of it.

My ego refused to admit I was ignorant. My ego told me I was too good to be taken down. My ego convinced me that even if I did get taken down, those few ground fighting classes and seminars I had already attended were good enough. I already knew everything I needed to know. I didn’t need to practice.

But guess what? I was walking around in dirty pants. It wasn’t until my late-30’s, 16 years later, that I was finally able to tell my ego to shut up. I felt vulnerable. I felt scared. I needed help. And so, I signed up for a class. I put on new pants—new gi pants—and my life, not just my fighting, improved immediately. I’ll do a whole show about that at some point, but for now, just know that…

Sometimes a small step leads to a big step forward and a big step leads to a quantum leap!

Now, a little heads up. Taking steps to improve your life doesn’t just change you, it’s going to change the people around you. Or at least how they see you. Some people will applaud the steps you take. Some people will criticize. But you know what? People are already applauding and criticizing you, so what’s the difference? The faces may change, but the mix of reactions will always be the same. You can’t control what people think, you can only control what you think.

Consider the homeless man. Some people may laugh at him. Other people may cry for him. Some may view him with disgust. Some may look at him with sympathy. Some may feel frustrated or even angry at his refusal to improve his situation. Who’s right? No one. His choice, his life.

Just remember this—when you refuse to improve yourself, when you don’t change your pants, it has an effect, one way or another, on everyone around you. Can you think of someone, right now, who feels sorry for you? Who wants more for you than what you’re currently getting? Can you think of someone who is worried about you? Maybe who thinks you’re making the wrong decisions in life?

Or let’s go darker. Can you think of someone who is happy that you’re not making progress? Who laughs at you for not following through on your plans? Can you think of someone who is frustrated with you for not utilizing your talents to their full potential? Can you think of someone who actually feels more successful because you’re less successful?

Of course, my first concern is what you think of you, not what others think of you, so let me ask you directly… how do you view yourself when you don’t follow through on your goals? How do you view yourself when you let opportunities go by because of a fear of failure, fear of success, or a fear of judgment from friends and family?

Are you angry with yourself for not doing more? Do you laugh at your own resistance to change? Do you feel sorry for yourself because you think you don’t have the right connections or resources to do what you want to do?

Do you see the homeless man the way you see yourself?

Consider this—the only thing worse than walking around in soiled pants is refusing to change into clean pants when you have the chance. So, if there’s an opportunity for you to improve your life, big or small, take it.

I’ve said before that people really aren’t so different. Everybody wants money. Everybody wants success, a happy family, good friends, good health, free time, happiness… but not everyone is willing to take the steps and do the work to make those dreams a reality. What are you willing to do? What steps are you ready to take?

Don’t kid yourself… nobody can do it for you. Sure, if you find people along the way who will push you, provide for you, open doors for you, great. Say thank you. But if that’s what you’re counting on, if that’s what you’re waiting for, then don’t be surprised if your life stays the same. Don’t be disappointed that you never found success. Don’t complain that life is hard. The truth is you had the chances to build the life of your dreams and you didn’t take them.

So, do the work. Invest in yourself. Take every opportunity to im prove your life. Then go make opportunities to improve it even more.

Stop wearing dirty pants… torn pants… pants that don’t fit. Change your pants and change your life.

The post #40: Change Your Pants, Change Your Life! [Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.

Welcome to Episode #39 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “The Crazy Critic.”

Advice is cheap. We all get it, we all give it. But let me ask you something…

Are you a smart critic or a crazy critic?

Seriously—do you give good advice that improves people’s lives or bad advice that just wastes everyone’s time? Including yours?

In this episode, I offer two challenges to help make sure you’re on the path to becoming a wise teacher to others… and yourself!

While we’re on the subject of criticism, let me take a moment to introduce you to a critic who’s clearly not crazy… Whistlekick.

Whistlekick is a company that manufactures martial arts equipment and apparel. They also named Fight for a Happy Life as one of its favorite martial arts podcasts, so clearly, they know what they’re talking about! 🙂

Even better, Whistlekick also produces a top notch martial arts podcast of their own, hosted by Jeremy Lesniak. You can check out their long list of inspiring and informative interviews with fellow martial artists right here: Whistlekick Martial Arts Radio.

My thanks to Whistlekick! Keep up the good work!

Okay—to listen to, “The Crazy Critic”, you can either:

If you enjoy the show (or not!), I’d love to hear what you’re thinking. Add a comment or send me an email at [email protected].

If you’d like to support the show, sharing a link with a friend or leaving a quick review over at iTunes would be great. Thanks!

For a written summary of this show, check out, How to Give Good Advice.

Last thing—don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re published.

Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life! 🙂

The post #39: The Crazy Critic [Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.

Welcome to Episode #38 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “The Perfect Sparring Partner.”

Let’s face it—if you want to be a great martial artist, you can’t train alone… you need training partners. The more, the better!

But what kind of person will make you the best you can be? Hint—it may not be who you think!

In this episode, you’ll hear my thoughts on who you need to include in your martial arts training and who you don’t. This show will also help you figure out how to be the perfect sparring partner for your classmates.

Everybody wins!

You can either:

If you enjoy the show (or not!), I’d love to hear what you’re thinking. Add a comment or send me an email at [email protected].

If you’d like to support the show, sharing a link with a friend or leaving a quick review over at iTunes would be great. Thanks!

For a written summary of this show, check out, Who Is The Perfect Sparring Partner?

Last thing—don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re published.

Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life! 🙂

The post #38: The Perfect Sparring Partner [Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.

Welcome to Episode #37 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Spirit First.”

As martial artists, we all train to be smart and skilled. But when it comes to self-defense, that may not be enough to save your life! You still need fighting spirit!

Inspired by the instruction of Shotokan Karate founder, Gichin Funakoshi, this episode shares advice on how to make fighting spirit your number one priority in martial arts training… and your life!

You can either:

If you enjoy the show (or not!), I’d love to hear what you’re thinking. Add a comment or send me an email at [email protected].

If you’d like to support the show, sharing a link with a friend or leaving a quick review over at iTunes would be great. Thanks!

If you’d like to read a summary of this show, check out Spirit First, Technique Second.

Last thing—don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re published.

Thanks for listening!

The post #37: Spirit First [Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.

Welcome to Episode #36 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Secret Techniques.”

Myths, legends, and secret techniques… the martial arts are full of them. But is any of that stuff for real?

Join me as I venture into the hidden chambers to decode the secret scrolls that hold the ancient formula for success in the martial arts and beyond.

Prepare yourself!

Or just pour some coffee and click “play”. Whatever. 🙂

You can either:

If you enjoy the show (or not!), I’d love to hear what you’re thinking. Add a comment or send me an email at [email protected].

If you’d like to support the show, sharing a link with a friend or leaving a quick review over at iTunes would be great. Thanks!

If you’d like to read a summary of the show, you can find it here: Secret Martial Arts Techniques.

Last thing—don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re published.

Thanks for listening!

The post #36: Secret Techniques [Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.

Welcome to Episode #35 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Can You Really Fight?”

Martial artists love to debate over what works in real life and what doesn’t. But no matter what style you choose, or which techniques you believe in, there’s an even bigger question that needs to be answered—

Can you really fight?

How capable are you? Can you make what you practice on the mats work on the street? Is your martial arts training preparing you to succeed in a real fight?

In this episode, I share a breakthrough moment that not only changed the way I train, it changed the way I live. It might just change your life, too.

Building on the ideas in the article, Who Knows You the Best?, I also share advice on how to make sure your training is helping you become a real fighter and not a deluded poser.

Sound good? Then click “play” and let’s get real! 🙂

You can either:

If you enjoy the show (or not!), I’d love to hear what you’re thinking. Add a comment or send me an email at [email protected].

If you’d like to support the show, sharing a link with a friend or leaving a quick review over at iTunes would be great. Thanks!

If you’d like to read a summary of the show, you can find it here: Are You a Real Fighter or a Studio Fighter?

Last thing—don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re published.

Thanks for listening!

The post #35: Can You Really Fight? [Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.

Welcome to Episode #34 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Two Big Lies in Martial Arts.”

The martial arts are full of myth and mystery… and a few outright lies!

In this episode, I reveal the truth behind two big lies in the martial arts. These two lies will hold you back from being your best, limit your success, and even put you in danger!

Don’t miss this one!

PROGRAM NOTE: In this episode, I quote wisdom teacher and counselor, Albert Marrewa. You can contact him through his website: AlbertMarrewa.com

You can also purchase Albert Marrewa’s books through these Amazon links:

Now back to the show! You can either:

If you enjoy the show (or not!), I’d love to hear what you’re thinking. Add a comment or send me an email at [email protected].

If you’d like to support the show, sharing a link with a friend or leaving a quick review over at iTunes would be great. Thanks!

If you’d like to read a summary of the show, check out, The Two Biggest Lies In Martial Arts.

Last thing—don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re published.

Thanks for listening!

The post #34: Two Big Lies In Martial Arts [Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.

Welcome to Episode #33 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Smaller Slower Weaker.”

Ever feel that you’re not big enough to stand up to the big guys? Not fast enough? Strong enough?

Me, too!

It’s easy to feel intimidated, frustrated, and overwhelmed… not just in a martial arts class, but in every part of your life. It’s even easier to give up on your goals altogether.

But that’s a mistake! The issue may not be that you’re smaller, slower, or weaker… the problem may simply be how you approach your goal.

In this episode, I share the mindset that not only gives you a chance to survive against the giants of this world… it can help you win!

You can either:

If you enjoy the show (or not!), I’d love to hear what you’re thinking. Add a comment or send me an email at [email protected].

If you’d like to read a summary of the show, check out the article, A Ridiculous Reason to Skip Class In Martial Arts.

If you’d like to support the show, sharing a link with a friend or leaving a quick review over at iTunes would be great. Thanks!

Last thing—don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re published.

Thanks for listening!

The post #33: Smaller Slower Weaker [Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.

Welcome to Episode #32 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Lazy Lying Losers.”

Ask anyone if they’re trying their best and they’ll probably say yes… but are they really?

As a teacher, I’d say most students do NOT try their best. As a student, I’d say most teachers do NOT try their best, either! That dismal combination of low effort makes learning a slow and tedious process.

But it doesn’t have to be that way!

In this show, I not only explore the reasons behind holding back, I challenge you to step up and push harder. Not just on the mats, but in every area of your life!

You can either:

If you enjoy the show (or not!), I’d love to hear what you’re thinking. Add a comment or send me an email at [email protected].

If you’d like to support the show, sharing a link with a friend or leaving a quick review over at iTunes would be great. Thanks!

You should also know this episode is available as an article, Are You Really Trying Your Best?

Last thing—don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re published.

Thanks for listening!

The post #32: Lazy Lying Losers [Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.