Fighting For Ukraine

June 18th 2024

Yuriy reflects on the grim reality of war, where death becomes an all-too-familiar presence. He discusses the heavy emotional toll of losing friends and colleagues, both through warfare and other tragic circumstances, highlighting the insufficiency of psychological defenses built for war when faced with non-combat deaths.

https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/p/unleashing-azov-why-one-of-ukraines

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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)  

It is June 18. 

We have become accustomed to people dying in war. It is very clinical, but there is nothing you can do about it when every day, hundreds of people die from bombs sharing mine explosions and missile strikes. You get used to it. You just know that by the end of the month, several of your friends will have died, and by the end of a year, several dozen. By the end of the war, it'll be hundreds and hundreds. This is a kind of forced fatalism that is unavoidable in war. It quickly becomes part of each of us. 

We have indeed become used to the fact that war constantly takes away friends and relatives. This has become the grim norm of war time. We are so accustomed to it that we forget that death can come not only from bullets and shrapnel but also from cancer, heart attacks and accidents. And when such a non-war death suddenly intrudes into our difficult pain field lives, the usual psychological safeguards fail. We are turned to a different kind of pain. They are entirely focused on war, and so they don't help. 

A few weeks ago, my senior colleague, who had greatly helped me in my profession, died of a heart attack right at his workplace. He was an excellent specialist who knew everything or almost everything about Ukrainian politics. I used to invite him to my show every month and when we would discuss for a couple of hours more what we didn't have time to cover on air. After I joined the Army, I saw him only once- we met by chance in Kyiv when I came last year to receive an award from Zelensky.

His death was a very heavy blow for me and it wasn't the last one. My colleague in journalism who is much younger than me, but from whom I have learned a lot. Was hospitalized with cancer in a stage that leaves almost no hope for recovery. I don't know, maybe it is somehow connected, but a few months ago, her boyfriend died in the war and she has significantly declined since then. 

Death has become routine, we get used to it, but nonetheless, it can still shock us. Because of all this news, I fell ill and for several weeks, could barely think clearly. Today I have prepared two links for you. The first is a new text about how Russian propaganda has painted Azov as Nazis, and the second is a video from my native Kharkiv. Read, watch and leave comments if you like it.  

June 13th 2024

Yuriy recounts 841 days of war, underscoring the invasion's intent to annihilate Ukraine entirely. He highlights the miscalculations of Russian forces and the continuing resilience and struggle of the Ukrainian people.

You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected]   

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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)  

It is June 13. I have been at war for 840 days. That's exactly 840 days more than anyone should ever have to spend at war. But in reality, I have no choice. None of the Ukrainians who went to war had a choice. It's now clear to everyone that this is a war of annhilation. For the Russians, the ultimate goal is not just seize part of Ukraine, but to completely destroy it. They have no other plans. The Russians thought it would be an easy and simple task, that they could annihilate Ukrainians, forcing some to give up their identity and executing others- in a matter of weeks. That Ukraine would be scared and surrender immediately. 

That was the calculation in 2022. It was supposed to be a blitzkrieg, A shockingly swift and successful operation for occupiers. Putin did not want a war; moreover, he did not believe it was even possible. In his mind, the destruction of Ukrainians was supposed to be walk in the park, something that would later be written about in history books as his unqualified triumph. I don't know if you've heard this, but the first burned columns of Russian equipment were filled with parade uniforms. The Russians, were preparing for a parade in Kyiv right from the start. They didn't expect any real resistance. 

War is very risky, full of unpredictable elements; there's reason we talk about the fog of war- the uncertainty that comes with it. That's why Putin did not intend to wage a war. He wanted to win without one, just by ratting his weapons and scaring the world. But it did not work out; the Russians had to fight. War- a large bloody war- has been our reality for. 841 days now for both us and we, and every day war becomes more significant in Russian politics. More important for them. Putin started it; he tried to control it, but now it increasingly controls him. That's exactly what I wrote about in my article for Substack. 

Read it and remember that the war has not gone anywhere. But Ukraine is fighting, but every day the best sons and daughters of our country are dying. And I want to warn you that this war is here for the long haul. These almost two and a half years of full scale fighting are, just the beginning, but more on that another time.

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June 7th 2024

Yuriy just finished his documentary film about the war and he shares some of the creative process and how he feels about it now.

https://open.substack.com/pub/yuriymatsarsky/p/taliban-draft-dodgers-and-the-pillars?r=dzvo1&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected]   

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Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat 

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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)  

It is June seven. 

When you listen to this episode, I will be at the prime year of my film. I have finished my documentary about a person who volunteered for the Army and died. In the credits I'm listed as a screenwriter, director, cameraman and editor. There are many things I don't like about this film; some things I would do differently now, some I would remove, some I would add, but it's still a film I am not ashamed of. It is compromised in many ways- I didn't have the opportunity to go everywhere I wanted. I didn't have the best cameras. I shoot with what I could afford myself. But I understand that probably none of the filmmakers, even the real ones, are ever 100% satisfied with what they have filmed.

If this film becomes publicly available, I will share the link with you. Though, I'm not sure if you will find it interesting. However, I might be wrong. Maybe it's better to share all possible information about the war with the world so that people don't forget what's happening to us more precisely, not to forget, but not to become accustomed to the war. It seems to me that in the world, this war is already perceived as something usual, something to be accepted, but that's not the case. 

I want to counteract with habitation to war. I want to make sure that even now people understand what it is, terrible and wild, that there is nothing normal in war. I don't have many tools for this, only this podcast and my Substack page. I decided to make my texts there open to everyone. So read, share them, recommend them to your friends. If possible, subscribe to me on substack or donate on Go Fund Me or Buy Me A Coffee. This will help the creation of the new texts and episodes and in general, it'll support me. I still haven't recovered from the illness. The terrible stress simply destroyed my mind, and I'm piecing it back together bit by bit. So your support will be welcome, as always. 

I translated for you the text, what I wrote in Ukrainian a couple of weeks ago. Today it is published on Substack. Sorry, that my episodes are so short right now. It's really hard for me to make them longer and fuller at the moment. I hope this is temporary. 

June 3rd 2024

Yuriy recounts the harrowing daily bombings and assaults on his hometown of Kharkiv, sharing personal stories and reflections on the Russian invasion and its impact on his life and community. He has written a new substack on it, which subscribers can check out here: https://open.substack.com/pub/yuriymatsarsky/p/in-vain-expectation-of-betrayal-the?r=dzvo1&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected]   

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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)

It is 3rd of June. 

While you listen to this story of mine, the Russians are bombing Kharkiv and launching wave after wave of their suicide assault troops against Ukrainian positions near it. Kharkiv is a very special city. It is located just a few dozen miles from the Russian border, and the Russians have always called it a "Russian city". All my life, as someone who was born and spent my childhood in Kharkiv, I heard this from them, "Oh, Kharkiv, that's a Russian city." This always infuriated me. Why did they decide that Kharkiv was theirs? Why did they feel the need to constantly emphasize this? I never understood.  

But this foolishness of theirs, the confidence that Russians live in Kharkiv saved the city from occupation at the beginning of the full scale invasion. My new text on Substack starts with exactly this- the failure of the Russians to capture Kharkiv, as they were convinced that they did not even need to capture it, that the residents would run to the occupiers themselves. 

Please read it; this text is very important to me. It's about my native and beloved city, which is now suffering from daily bombings, which the Russians are trying to destroy, simply because they no longer understand how else to fight. Read, comment there, suggest new topics. I am almost recovered, though I was once again on the brink of despair, and I am gradually returning to normal and can write again.  

May 30th 2024

Yuriy has written his first Substack post, it's an article he has talked about previously that an American outlet didn't want to publish. You can read it here: https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/publish/post/145119038

You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected]   

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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)

It is 30th of May. 

I'm sorry for a long silence. I'm going through a very difficult time right now. Several important people in my life have passed away or been killed, and I myself have fallen seriously ill. Only now do I have a strength to upload the first text on Substack and tell you about it. 

I mentioned it, this text in one over episodes. It was commissioned by an American editorial team, which later rejected it because it did not fit the worldview of media's leadership. This text is about Russian position and why it cannot be considered an a lie of Ukrainians. If you like it and want to delve deeper into the relations between Russians and the Ukrainians, they will prepare a new text for you on how the destruction of Ukraine has become a national idea for Russians. But first, I need to recover. 

And one more thing. This text is available to everyone for free, but when I will be forced to publish articles only for war who subscribe to me, I hope you will be interested. 

May 24th 2024

Yuriy has made a decision about the future of the podcast, and thanks you for all your messages of support as he has considered this decision...

You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected]   

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Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat 

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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)

 It is 24th of May. 

You know I'm not going to shut down the podcast. I received some very important messages from the listeners and realized how significant it is for people. The podcast no longer belongs to just me. 

I will start posting texts on Substack next week, and for some time I'll be using the podcast to explain these texts or add something to them. I don't feel strong enough morally to continue sharing detailed personal stories related to the war. However, if something very important happens, I will definitely talk about it. 

I hope this adjustment, which is likely temporary will help me get back on track a bit. I should say that most of the texts I plan to publish and discuss here are awesome about our war, but since I have already lived through and reflected on the events described in them, I hope it'll be a bit easier and less traumatic to talk about them.

Once again, thank you all. Your support truly works wonders. See you next week.  

May 22nd 2024

Yuriy explains why it's so hard to continue making this podcast.

Yuriy is considering ending the podcast and starting a new model. He wants to know what you think! Email him at [email protected] to let him know what you think.

Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy  

Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat 

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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)

  It's 22nd of May. 

I have to admit to you that every episode of this podcast is a deeply traumatic experience. Every time I write an episode, every time I record it, and every time I edit it, I relive all the horrible things I have to talk about. Every single damn time. It really hurts because I have to constantly remember things I wish had never happened. Remembering the deaths of friends, the captivity of those who served with me, with destruction, with pain, with tears, with countless people who can never be brought back, the time and the happiness stolen from us by the occupiers. 

It's very hard. And very painful. And also I do this in my free time. I don't get this time to distract myself from the pain and the war, but instead I dive back into them to make another episode. And each time it gets harder. A few months ago I gave up trying to make the podcast daily. I think I would have gone crazy if I had tried to keep it up that often. For a while it helped me a bit doing it once, maybe twice a week was easier than four or five times a week. 

But it turned out that it was not a solution. It's painful and hard and each time. I force myself to record the podcast. I don't really understand why should I continue to force myself to do it.  I used to feel that I was making at least some impact on the general opinion abroad, but now I realize that this impact is very small, barely noticeable, really. I used to be able to tell myself, yes, it's hard, but it's not in vain- thanks to the podcast, you can pay for your daughter's education and help your parents, but that has long ceased to be true. I am very, very grateful to those who still support me, but I have to admit that this money has not been enough for a long time. So I'm torturing myself almost for free. 

I'm very grateful to those who have sent me suggestions for improving the podcast. They are wonderful and interesting, but I just don't see a way to make them work in a way that fulfills any of the goals for which the podcast was started. I'm afraid I won't be able to make them generate income, maintain my skills as a journalist and be interested for foreign listeners. I'm sure that in any other situation, I would grab unto these suggestions and at least try to do something with them.

But now I'm very emotionally exhausted and simply unable to radically change the project. I am truly trying to save it. It is very dear to me, but it seems that I just don't have best strength for it. I'm so sorry. I really think only a miracle can save this project.  

May 21st 2024

The Russians are mindlessly destroying the Northern Kharkiv region with artillery, targeting a settlement of Chernobyl survivors. Yuriy expresses deep hatred towards those who continue to bring suffering to innocent Ukrainians.

Yuriy is considering ending the podcast and starting a new model. He wants to know what you think! Email him at [email protected] to let him know what you think.

Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy  

Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat 

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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)

It is May 21. 

The Russians are now destroying the Northern Kharkiv region. They are simply mindlessly demolishing everything with the reach of via artillery. There is no military sense in this. It's some kind of primal hatred towards Ukraine and Ukrainians. A wild desire to kill everyone they can. Among the villages and towns that are under constant shelling, there is a settlement of people who almost died earlier due to Moscow's actions, and now Moscow is trying to kill them again. 

In this settlement live families who were relocated in 1986 after the Chernobyl nuclear power plant disaster. Their homes were right in the path of a deadly cloud that rose from a destroyed reactor. People living nearby were forbidden to take with them not only their personal belongings, but even their pets. Even their clothing was destroyed after the evacuation, as it was highly radioactive. So people started their lives completely from scratch with nothing left of their past, except memories. And all of this is due to Moscow's actions. 

The fact is that the personnel at the Chernobyl nuclear power plant had sufficient expertise and clear instructions to prevent the catastrophic. They knew what to do to ensure it never happened. But the Moscow officials who didn't understand a thing about nuclear energy, but considered themselves superior in everything forbade acting according to the instructions. And the frightened plant workers who feared the Moscow officials more than nuclear accident did. as they were ordered  and thus occurred the worst nuclear disaster in human history. 

Those who survived the disaster and their descendants are now being killed by people who also fear the Moscow authorities more than anything else in the world. This fear makes them perfect executors of senseless and criminal actions. How else could you force a person to leave everything at home, go to another country and kill peaceful strangers there? Only by intimidating them with the idea that the authorities will be displeased if it is not done. You know, they fear death less when displeasing way superiors. It's easy for them to die, abandoned by their own comrades on minefield from wounds, and first, when to simply refuse to go and kill people. 

This is some mysterious phenomenon, a mystical darkness that has engulfed a huge country and turned millions of people into frightened killers or equally frightened silent accomplices of killers. But their fear does not justify them. These shitbags bring so much suffering, take so many lives, that neither way nor way children will ever be able to wash off the blood of innocent people who were killed just because they were Ukrainians. I really, really hate them. You have no idea how much.  

May 16th 2024

Yuriy is considering ending the podcast and starting a new model. He wants to know what you think! Email him at [email protected] to let him know what you think.

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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)

It is May 16, and it seems to me that this podcast is coming to an end. It emerged two years ago with three main goals: to keep listeners informed about what's happening in Ukraine, to maintain my journalistic skills, and to earn money for my parents and daughter. Initially, everything worked and was genuinely interesting and useful. Now, after two years, I have serious doubts about the project's continued variability. 

The whole world already understand what is really happening in Ukraine. The terrible price we are paying fighting the war against Russian invaders and the extent of our losses. I simply have nothing more to add to this, I have already told everything I could. There are, of course, many other interesting things that I haven't shared, but I won't share them, even in the future, because they could be useful to the enemy or could hurt the feelings of people around me. I don't want that at all. So in reality, I've already told you everything I could. 

It's no longer feasible to continue the podcast and keep myself in shape as a journalist, simply because I can't. I just don't have the right to tell much of what I know. It's becoming increasingly difficult for me. To find something new and interesting that I could talk about without harming our cause. I'm forced to repeat myself and sometimes say banal things. Obviously this does not embellish me as a journalist, but I'm no longer just a journalist. I am a soldier, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to return to my old profession although, of course I would really like to. 

The monetization, that initially helped me, indeed, it saved my parents in the early weeks of the war, allowed me to pay for warehouse and medical care, ensure that my daughter was provided with everything she needed and allowed me to buy the necessary equipment for myself. This monetization has almost disappeared. Listeners are transferring less and less money. 

So everything that this podcast started for has been exhausted, at least it seems so to me. That's why I'm considering ending it. I don't want to completely break with journalism, so I want to move to the Substack platform where I plan to publish new texts weekly, perhaps sometimes more often, and also add old ones about the Middle East, for example, what have never been published in English before. This could be interesting and probably a bit easier for me. 

In this episode description, there is an email where you can send your thoughts and wishes, regard the future of the podcast. Maybe you have ideas on how to make it relevant, interesting, and profitable again, or perhaps you have other advices. Write it to me. Within a week until next Friday, I will make a decision. On what to do with this project. Close it and move on, or try to breathe new life into it? Help me decide.  

May 14th 2024

Yuriy humorously reveals his struggles in readjusting to civilian life, leading to a comical mishap with his jeans. 

You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected]   

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Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat 

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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)