Figuring It Out with Rachel Lee

You did the thing. I’m happy for you. So why am I having a whole fucking conversation with myself about it?

Is it envy? Jealousy? Or did watching you finally do it remind me that I’m still talking about it?

This week, I’m getting honest about what’s actually stopping me. Sometimes it’s money, time, or needing to go to fucking bed. Other times? I’m overthinking, putting things off, and calling it preparation.

I’m not mad at you. You just did something I keep telling myself I’m going to do.

Maybe it’s time I gave myself a chance.

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Read more on Substack at Figuring It Out with Rachel Lee.

I’ve learned plenty. At this point, I’d also like some more health, wealth, joy, and significantly less character development.

In this episode, I’m revisiting a few things I sometimes need reminding of myself: situationships don’t determine my worth, my “picker” isn’t permanently broken, and being good at handling everything doesn’t mean I signed a lifetime contract to keep doing it.

I’m also sharing four words from Rob Dial that help when gratitude feels forced—and talking about why appreciating today doesn’t mean giving up on wanting more.

I’ll use what I learned. I just don’t have to call every painful experience a gift.

Explore coaching: https://figuringitoutwithrachel.com

Find more stories on Substack at Figuring It Out with Rachel Lee.

I hit 500 days sober, fixed my kitchen sink, and made albondigas soup. Apparently, my celebration included plumber’s putty and meatballs.

But underneath that sink, practically holding a glute bridge, I realized something: my workouts were paying off in a way I hadn’t planned for.

Apparently, I wasn’t training for abs. I was training for plumbing.

In this episode, I’m talking about the unexpected benefits of the things we do for ourselves—and how easily we overlook them when we’re only checking the scale, the numbers, or the one result we wanted.

You can still want more. Just don’t miss what’s already getting easier.

Got your own unexpected payoff? Tell me in the comments on YouTube.

More stories and conversations on Substack: Figuring It Out with Rachel Lee.

“It pisses me off that I’m not more pissed off.”

That’s what I’ve been trying to understand about my reaction to the Cornell sexual assault allegations. I’m angry. But I’m not shocked—and the familiarity bothers me.

In this episode, I talk about being assaulted at twelve, thirteen years without a real conversation about what happened, and how everything afterward shaped what I believed about myself and accepted in relationships.

I also talk about why I’m willing to say it out loud now.

I am Jane Doe. My story is different from hers, but I know what it feels like when people would rather carry on than have the conversation.

If you’ve carried something similar, you don’t have to tell your story here. I’ll go first. You can just listen.

Content note: This episode discusses childhood sexual assault, family responses and the aftermath, without graphic details.

🎙️ Vote for me in iHeartRadio’s Next Top Host competition:
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More stories and conversations on Substack: Figuring It Out with Rachel Lee.

Fifty-two episodes. One full year of sitting behind a microphone and figuring shit out in real time.

To celebrate, I’m sharing 52 things I know now—about myself, relationships, work, money, ambition, self-trust, misplaced forks and building more in my life without diminishing what I’ve already built.

Some lessons were hard-earned. Some are ridiculous. And some things? I still haven’t figured out at all.

Because maybe the goal was never to have every answer. Maybe it’s to know yourself better, trust yourself more and give yourself some damn credit for everything you’ve already figured out along the way.

If you’re ready to talk about coaching, come find me on Instagram at @figuringitoutwithrachel and send me a message.

For more stories, thoughts and occasional word vomit that somehow turns into an actual point, find me on Substack at Figuring It Out with Rachel Lee.

I want discipline, meaningful connection, commitment, and partnership. I’m just not convinced they have to look the way I’ve been told.

In this episode, I’m questioning three templates I keep measuring myself against: the perfectly productive daily schedule, the five-person inner circle, and the idea that a committed relationship only counts if two people share one address. Maybe adjusting the structure isn’t lowering the standard. Maybe it’s finally trusting yourself enough to build a life that actually fits.

I’ve been called a single mom for years. It’s accurate—but it’s incomplete.

I raised my boys as a single mother. They were also raised in a fatherless home because their fathers chose not to parent them. Those two truths are not the same, and the language we use determines where we place the scrutiny.

In this episode, I’m talking about why society examines the parent who stayed while barely questioning the one who left, why financial support isn’t the same as parenting, and why telling the truth about abandonment doesn’t make someone bitter.

One truth tells you who stayed.

The other tells you who didn’t.

Apparently I’ve been conducting performance reviews on my own existence. 😂

Did I do enough? Make enough? Accomplish enough? Shouldn’t I be further along by now?

And the weird part is, I can completely skip over what I’ve already done because I’m so focused on what I want next.

So this week, we’re talking about the difference between taking inventory and grading your life—and whether we can appreciate what’s here without giving up on everything we still fucking want.

Turning 50 has me thinking about the years I’ve already lived—and whether I’ve actually been participating in them or just getting really good at surviving them.

In this episode, I’m talking about losing people too young, the strange privilege of getting older, ordinary Tuesdays, Aruba, and why I don’t want to keep postponing my life until everything is finally handled.

Because this is the life.

The unfinished version. Right f*ing now. 💛

Something feels uncomfortable—does that mean it’s wrong, or are you just doing something you’ve never done before?

In this episode of Figuring It Out, we’re talking about intuition, fear, unfamiliarity, and why every feeling doesn’t have to become a decision.

Sometimes the answer really is:

“I don’t know yet.”

And maybe self-trust is knowing you can make the best decision you can now—and f'ing adjust if you learn something new. 💛