We hear phrases like “If they wanted to, they would” and “They’re emotionally unavailable” all the time online. But what if the reality is more complicated than that?

In this episode, Rachel explores the difference between emotional unavailability, emotional overwhelm, emotional awareness, and emotional capacity. From relationships and conflict to trauma, nervous system regulation, and personal growth, this conversation challenges the black-and-white labels we often place on ourselves and others.

Because sometimes people don’t lack desire.

Sometimes they lack the tools, capacity, or emotional safety to show up the way they want to.

And that’s a very different conversation.

In this episode, Rachel talks about inherited self-doubt, emotional conditioning, generational pain, relationships, and the invisible rules many of us grow up living by without ever consciously choosing them.

From a moment at 19 years old that quietly changed how she viewed herself, to the emotional patterns that followed her into relationships, motherhood, and adulthood — this episode explores how self-doubt is often learned long before we ever realize it.

Rachel shares honest reflections on:

• emotional conditioning

• people pleasing & validation

• emotionally unavailable relationships

• generational trauma

• self-worth

• healing without perfection

• learning to trust yourself differently

• and what it means to stop carrying beliefs that never truly belonged to you in the first place.

This episode is raw, reflective, honest, and deeply human.

Because maybe healing isn’t becoming a different person.

Maybe it’s becoming aware enough to stop living automatically from wounds you never consciously chose.

This episode is about grief, mental health, suicide, and the things people say without realizing who might be listening.

Rachel opens up about losing her brother Jason to suicide, the complicated realities of mental health, addiction, shame, and the emotional aftermath left behind for families who survive it.

But this conversation is bigger than loss.

It’s about awareness.

The way pain changes how you hear people.

The way careless language can quietly reveal emotional blind spots.

And the importance of creating spaces where people feel safe enough to say, “I’m struggling,” without fear of shame or judgment.

This is not a clinical conversation.

It’s a human one.

If you’ve ever experienced grief, mental health struggles, addiction, emotional exhaustion, or watched someone you love suffer silently, this episode will probably hit close to home.

Most people say they’re overwhelmed.

But what if that’s not actually the problem?

In this episode, I’m talking about the difference between being overcommitted, overwhelmed, and overinvolved — and how staying “busy” can become one of the easiest ways to avoid dealing with yourself.

I talk about:

- using busyness as distraction

- being emotionally consumed by everything around you

- why “I don’t have time” usually isn’t the full truth

- how overinvolvement keeps your own life stagnant

- and the shift that started changing how I use my energy

This isn’t about perfection.

I still catch myself doing it too.

The difference now?

I notice it faster.

If your energy has been everywhere except where it actually needs to be… this episode is for you.

This week, I had a realization I didn’t love.

Not because anything big happened —
but because I couldn’t ignore it anymore.

I’ve been showing up… but not fully.

Doing enough to say I did something,
but not enough to actually move things forward.

And once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it.

In this episode, I talk about:
• the difference between showing up and fully showing up
• how outside things can start dictating how you move
• why doing “something” isn’t always the same as doing what you’re capable of
• and what it actually looks like to start owning your life instead of just being in it

This isn’t about being perfect.

It’s about being honest.

Because once you see where you’re holding back,
you get to decide what to do about it.

If something in this episode hits — follow the podcast, leave a review, or share it with someone who needs to hear it.

Most people are waiting to feel ready before they give themselves anything good. Waiting to like what they see in the mirror. Waiting to fix the patterns. Waiting for the feeling to arrive first.

The feeling isn’t coming first. The action is.

In this episode Rachel Lee breaks down what self love actually looks like in real life — not the concept, not the aesthetic, but the actual practice of showing up for yourself when nobody is watching.

Topics covered:

Why most people are managing a life they didn’t choose — and don’t even know it, what loving yourself actually looks like day to day, why you can’t pour from an empty cup but nobody explains what filling it actually means, the first time Rachel took herself to dinner alone and what that represented, and why it all comes back to one question — can I count on me?

This episode is not about perfection. It’s about one redirect. One moment of catching yourself talking shit to yourself and stopping it from going further.

That’s the beginning. And that’s enough.

Follow the podcast. Leave a review. Share it with someone who’s been waiting to like themselves first.

Find Rachel at figuringitoutwithrachel — same everywhere.

Most people think they need more clarity.

More awareness.

More time.

More answers.

But that’s not what’s keeping you stuck.

In this episode, I’m talking about something that sounds simple — start with yourself — but almost nobody actually understands what that means in real life.

Because this wasn’t me for most of my life.

I wasn’t aware of my patterns.

I wasn’t “doing the work.”

I was living on autopilot — same day, different version.

It wasn’t until 2023 that I started noticing:

• the patterns in my relationships

• how I was showing up

• where I was still choosing the same things over and over again

And that’s when I had to face something uncomfortable:

The common denominator in my life… was me.

Not in a blaming way.

In an ownership way.

In this episode, we get into:

• what “starting with yourself” actually looks like (not the fluffy version)

• why awareness alone doesn’t change anything

• how patterns repeat when you don’t question them

• the difference between reacting vs choosing

• what it really means to catch yourself and redirect

This is not about being perfect.

It’s about noticing faster.

Pivoting quicker.

And actually starting to choose your life instead of just managing it.

If you’ve ever thought:

“I know better… so why am I still doing the same things?”

This episode is for you.

If this resonates:

Follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.

If you’re ready to stop repeating patterns and start moving differently:

ALIGN coaching is open.

Find me on Instagram and let's schedule a discovery call.

This week I learned something I didn’t know before. Next Sunday is Divine Mercy Sunday — the day Jesus appeared to his disciples after the resurrection and showed them his wounds. Not to say look what happened to me. But to say — look. I’m still here.

And I thought — that’s exactly what I’ve been trying to do on this podcast.

There’s a difference between a wound and a scar. For a long time I emphasized the wound. I am broken. I am not whole. I accepted everything that came my way without questioning it. Never rocking the boat. Never asking if I deserved better. That’s what shame looks like when it’s quiet.

But a wound is still open. A scar means the healing already happened.

In this episode we talk about why the wounds were never meant to be hidden. What walking in shame actually looks like day to day. Why I teach from scar tissue not just experience. And why you don’t have to go public with your story to stop being ashamed of it in private.

This episode is not asking you to perform your pain.

It’s asking you to stop carrying it like proof of something wrong with you.

Because nothing was ever wrong with you.

You were just carrying something real.

And you’re still here.

Whether you call it God, universe, spirit, or Gus — something brought you through.

Follow the podcast. Leave a review. Share it with someone who needs permission to stop hiding.

There are people who fall apart.

And then there are people who don’t.

If you’ve ever found yourself thinking,

“Why don’t I feel more than this?”

or

“Why do I just keep going no matter what’s happening?”

This episode is for you.

In this episode of Figuring It Out with Rachel Lee, we’re talking about what actually happens when you’ve spent most of your life handling everything — and never stopping long enough to process any of it.

Because the truth is…

You’re not emotionless.

You’re not unaffected.

You’ve just trained yourself to keep moving.

We get into:

• Why high-functioning women don’t “break down”

• The difference between avoiding emotions and intentionally compartmentalizing

• How constantly preparing for the next thing disconnects you from what you’re feeling

• Why awareness alone doesn’t create change

• And how to start creating space to actually notice what’s affecting you

This isn’t about forcing yourself to feel everything.

It’s about recognizing when you’ve been moving so fast through your life…

that you don’t even notice what’s affecting you anymore.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re functioning just fine on the outside — but something feels off underneath…

This episode will put words to it.

If this resonates, follow the podcast and share it with someone who needs it.

And if you’re ready to stop repeating the same patterns and actually start living differently, ALIGN coaching is open.

Why does other people’s behavior start bothering you more as you grow?

In this episode of Figuring It Out with Rachel Lee, Rachel explores the connection between self-awareness, judgment, and personal growth — and why increased awareness often leads to decreased tolerance.

She shares honest insights on noticing judgment in others, recognizing it within yourself, and understanding how past patterns like overfunctioning and oversharing were rooted in the desire to be seen.

This episode breaks down:

• Why judgment triggers you more as you become more self-aware

• The connection between judgment and fear of being judged

• How over-sharing can come from wanting to feel seen

• Why awareness changes your standards and relationships

• How to become more intentional without becoming closed off

If you’ve ever found yourself more irritated, more aware, and questioning your past behaviors — this episode will help you understand why.

If this resonates, follow the podcast and share it with someone who might need it.