Figuring It Out with Rachel Lee

How much time do we spend looking backward—trying to understand who we were, why we made certain choices, or what we should’ve done differently?

There’s value in understanding your past. Every season gives you lessons, information, and points of reference.

But at some point…do we get to keep the lesson without constantly reliving where we learned it?

In this episode of Figuring It Out, we’re talking about hindsight bias, why things seem so obvious once we know how they turned out, and the fascinating way our brains use some of the same systems to remember the past and imagine the future.

Because if our minds are really fucking good at imagining everything that could go wrong…maybe we can give some airtime to what could go right, too.

Not a perfect life.

A good one. An exciting one. Maybe even one with a little more ease.

Your past matters.

It just doesn’t need all the airtime.

Have you ever stopped to ask what you’re actually looking for from other people?

Is it validation? Acceptance? Reassurance that you’re doing okay? And why does someone else’s reaction sometimes carry more weight than our own?

In this episode, I’m talking about something I’ve been noticing in myself lately: how easy it is to focus on everything I haven’t accomplished YET while barely acknowledging the things I’ve already done.

We’ll talk about why humans are wired to care about acceptance in the first place, the difference between wanting support and needing someone else’s response to determine how we feel about ourselves, and why we’re so damn quick to move the finish line once we accomplish something.

Because maybe the goal isn’t to stop caring what other people think.

Maybe it’s learning how to make sure your own voice is in the conversation too.

And honestly…that’s what I’m figuring out right now. 💛

What if burnout is real—but it isn’t the whole story?

In this episode, Rachel talks about a podcast comment claiming people can’t burn out because they aren’t candles, why the internet reacted so strongly, and the question it made her ask instead.

Sometimes “I’m burned out” is easier to say than “I’m scared,” “I’m grieving,” or “I don’t know what comes next.” Burnout may be the first word we reach for, but it might not be the only thing we’re carrying.

This week, we’re paying attention to the language we use—and asking one simple question:

What else is true?

We’ve all heard the phrase…

“The version of you that got you here isn’t the version that’s going to get you there.”

But what does that actually mean?

This week, I’m unpacking the survival skills we pick up through life, why some of them still serve us, why others don’t, and how to stop looking back just to relive the past.

Maybe it’s time to learn back instead.

Let’s figure it out together. 💛

The internet tells us we’re waiting for confidence.

I’m not so sure.

This week, I’m talking about the difference between the things life chooses for us…and the things we keep putting off because we’re afraid we’ll fail.

Or maybe even worse…

That everyone else will see us fail.

If you’ve been waiting to start something, this episode might change what you’re actually waiting for.

Let’s figure it out together. 💛

Do we really need to put a label on everything?

In this episode, we’re talking about boundaries, delayed text messages, “no response is a response,” and why maybe…just maybe…not every interaction needs a psychological explanation.

Sometimes people are busy.

Sometimes they’re overwhelmed.

Sometimes they’re just at Costco.

Maybe it’s time we stopped diagnosing every normal human moment and started giving each other a little more grace.

Let’s figure it out together. 💛

You think you know someone…

But what if you only know one chapter of their story?

In this episode, I share a few stories from my own life and why they’ve completely changed the way I think about people, assumptions, and what it really means to be known.

What happens after survival mode?

We spend so much time trying to get through the hard seasons of life that nobody really talks about what comes next.

In this episode, I’m sharing the story of losing my job shortly after moving across the country, spending months trying to get back on my feet, and the surprising realization that came after life finally settled down.

Because the biggest challenge wasn’t surviving.

It was learning what deserved my attention when survival wasn’t choosing my priorities anymore.

If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “My life is okay…so why do I still feel a little lost?” this conversation is for you.

By the time this episode airs, I’ll be just shy of 13 months without a drink.

For a long time, I thought alcohol was helping me relax, have fun, and care less about what other people thought.

Looking back, I don’t think alcohol was the problem.

I think my relationship with my emotions was.

In this episode, I share why I stopped drinking, the role shame played in that decision, what sobriety has taught me about self-trust, and the surprising realization that many of the things I thought alcohol gave me were already there all along.

This isn’t an anti-alcohol conversation.

It’s a conversation about getting honest with yourself, learning how to sit with difficult emotions, and discovering that the person you’ve been trying to escape might actually be someone worth getting to know.

If this episode resonates with you, subscribe, like, and share it with someone who might need to hear it.

💛 Rachel

For a long time, I would’ve thought the answer was no. If someone truly loved you, wouldn’t they know what you needed? Wouldn’t they know how to show up?

In this episode, I’m sharing a personal story about my parents, what I’ve learned about expectations, communication, and why disappointment doesn’t always mean a lack of love.

We talk about:
💛 Expecting people to love us the way we would
💛 Why awareness doesn’t automatically equal healing
💛 Communicating needs instead of expecting mind-reading
💛 How love and disappointment can exist in the same relationship
💛 The lessons people leave behind if we’re willing to pay attention

Because sometimes the people who love us the most still let us down.

And if we’re being honest, we’ve probably done the same.

If this episode resonated with you, follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who might need to hear it.