Film Disquisition

Space Money Octagon Presents

The Filmography Disquisition Series

Volume 2

Kristen Stewart: An Exhaustive Examination

Episode 7: Zathura (2005)

Lisa is a moody, sleep positive teen, whose fun and carefree life is thrown askew by having to babysit her two younger brothers when their dad must head to work unexpectedly. Soon after dad leaves, Lisa is informed by her brothers that their house has been transported to space, thanks to Zathura - a magical board game they found in the basement. A skeptical Lisa is soon frozen as the game places her in cryo-sleep. She awakens 5 turns later, unaware of what has transpired. Cold and still groggy from from her slumber, she turns up the thermostat and grabs a shower. When she finally reunites with her brothers downstairs, she is shocked to find that the kitchen is on fire and also that the house is indeed in space - and being chased by aliens!

She soon is brought up to speed on the whole situation and becomes acquainted with a strangely handsome astronaut - a player who's been stuck in space for 15 years.  After fending off the invaders, the last of which Lisa kills with a piano, the group gathers to finish the magic board game. As the final turn approaches, IT'S REVEALED THAT THE SPACEMAN IS ACTUALLY ONE OF HER BROTHERS WHO HAS BEEN STUCK IN A PARADOX IN THE GAME FOR 15 YEARS. Once that weirdness has passed, the family finishes the game and are sucked into a black hole! Lisa and her brothers awaken back home, as if no time had transpired. As they head out to visit their mother, Lisa and the boys agree to carry the secret of Zathura to the grave. 

Join co-hosts Vanessa and Toben on a quest that began (in Volume 1) with one of the most pressing cinematic questions of our time: what's the best movie Blake Lively's ever been in?

In Volume 2, Vanessa and Toben seek to determine the best Kristen Stewart move of all time.

They will watch - in chronological order - every major motion picture featuring the actress Kristen Stewart. At the end of each episode, an updated ranking of Kristen Stewart movies will be determined using a refined academic and scientific process.

Current Rankings:

Speak

Panic Room

The Safety of Objects

Fierce People

Cold Creek Manor

Catch That Kid

Undertow

 

Contact: [email protected] (emails may be read on the show)

Hosts: Vanessa (http://twitter.com/the_virago) and Toben (http://twitter.com/pursuedbyabeard)

Music: Mozart's Bassoon Concerto in B Flat Major, K. 191 - I. Allegro

performed by the Skidmore College Orchestra

Record start sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/Corsica_S/sounds/174771/

Fireplace sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/juskiddink/sounds/215658/

Intro voice: @iamastove

...

This was actually a terrible idea for a podcast

iTunes

Space Money Octagon Presents

The Filmography Disquisition Series

Volume 2

Kristen Stewart: An Exhaustive Examination

Episode 6: Undertow (2004) & Fierce People (2005)

Undertow: Lila is a moody southern girl living in rural Georgia with an emotional, overprotective dad who does not approve of her barefoot boyfriend. She finds her relationship with Chris to be a struggle, though, and soon ends the relationship over concerns over boundaries and their age difference.

Fierce People: Maya is a privileged, moody, horse and art enthusiast teenager living in a tight-knit, closed-off upstate New York community. Her carefree summer plans take a turn when Finn, an outsider, arrives in the community, leading to a romantic connection. That connection is soon strained, though, as Maya's brother causes trouble for both of them - and also murders his and Maya's grandfather. As the traumatic events that tore the group apart begin to fade with the end of summer, Maya and Finn part ways on a hopeful note for the future.

Join co-hosts Vanessa and Toben on a quest that began (in Volume 1) with one of the most pressing cinematic questions of our time: what's the best movie Blake Lively's ever been in?

In Volume 2, Vanessa and Toben seek to determine the best Kristen Stewart move of all time.

They will watch - in chronological order - every major motion picture featuring the actress Kristen Stewart. At the end of each episode, an updated ranking of Kristen Stewart movies will be determined using a refined academic and scientific process.

Current Rankings:

Speak

Panic Room

The Safety of Objects

Cold Creek Manor

Catch That Kid

 

Contact: [email protected] (emails may be read on the show)

Hosts: Vanessa (http://twitter.com/the_virago) and Toben (http://twitter.com/pursuedbyabeard)

Music: Mozart's Bassoon Concerto in B Flat Major, K. 191 - I. Allegro

performed by the Skidmore College Orchestra

Record start sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/Corsica_S/sounds/174771/

Fireplace sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/juskiddink/sounds/215658/

Intro voice: @iamastove (twitter.com/iamastove)

...

This was actually a terrible idea for a podcast

 

Space Money Octagon Presents

The Filmography Disquisition Series

Volume 2

Kristen Stewart: An Exhaustive Examination

Episode 5: Catch That Kid (2004)

A moody, urban-climber cool girl, Maddy just wants to follow in her father's footsteps and become an accomplished mountain climber. Too bad she's stuck in the city with no mountains to climb, and parents who are worried about her daredevil antics. One day, her father collapses due to an old mountain coming injury. The exorbitant medical bills are a cold dose of reality to Maddy and her mother - the head of security of at a local bank. Without the safety net of universal health insurance, Maddy is forced into a life-altering decision - embrace a life of crime to save her father, or allow the sins of capitalism to claim the life of a loved one. She chooses the ethical path and is soon plotting a bank heist with her dude pals. When the boys' lustful nature threatens the entire operation, Maddy must one again take charge and convince the boys to stay focused on the mission. After utilizing her free- climbing prowess, Maddy "hacks" onto her mom's vault and absconds with enough money to pay for her dad's surgery. With her main concern resolved, Maddy faces a secondary - much less important choice - deciding if she wants to date either of the boyz she used to help rob the bank. She doesn't and runs off into the hills, embracing her free spirited-ness.

Join co-hosts Vanessa and Toben on a quest that began (in Volume 1) with one of the most pressing cinematic questions of our time: what's the best movie Blake Lively's ever been in?

In Volume 2, Vanessa and Toben seek to determine the best Kristen Stewart move of all time.

They will watch - in chronological order - every major motion picture featuring the actress Kristen Stewart. At the end of each episode, an updated ranking of Kristen Stewart movies will be determined using a refined academic and scientific process.

Current Rankings:

Speak

Panic Room

The Safety of Objects

Cold Creek Manor

 

Contact: [email protected] (emails may be read on the show)

Hosts: Vanessa (http://twitter.com/the_virago) and Toben (http://twitter.com/pursuedbyabeard)

Music: Mozart's Bassoon Concerto in B Flat Major, K. 191 - I. Allegro

performed by the Skidmore College Orchestra

Record start sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/Corsica_S/sounds/174771/

Fireplace sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/juskiddink/sounds/215658/

Intro voice: @iamastove (twitter.com/iamastove)

...

This was actually a terrible idea for a podcast

 

Space Money Octagon Presents

The Filmography Disquisition Series

Volume 2

Kristen Stewart: An Exhaustive Examination

Episode 4: Speak (2004)

- CONTENT NOTE: SEXUAL ASSAULT/RAPE -

Melinda is a moody freshman student at Merryweather High School (go Hornets/Wombats!), carrying with her the baggage of a traumatic summer experience - which has alienated her from many of her friends. She struggles with the challenging, shifting social dynamics of high school, which includes dealing with antagonistic teachers. Thankfully, she's able to find solace in an art class, where her creative spirit thrives and focuses on tree.

Over the course of the school year, she's able to come to terms with what happened - thanks to the healing power of artistic expression - and ends up reconnecting with some of her old friends, as well making new friend along the way.

Join co-hosts Vanessa and Toben on a quest that began (in Volume 1) with one of the most pressing cinematic questions of our time: what's the best movie Blake Lively's ever been in?

In Volume 2, Vanessa and Toben seek to determine the best Kristen Stewart move of all time.

They will watch - in chronological order - every major motion picture featuring the actress Kristen Stewart. At the end of each episode, an updated ranking of Kristen Stewart movies will be determined using a refined academic and scientific process.

Current Rankings:

Panic Room

The Safety of Objects

Cold Creek Manor

 

Contact: [email protected] (emails may be read on the show)

Hosts: Vanessa (http://twitter.com/the_virago) and Toben (http://twitter.com/pursuedbyabeard)

Music: Mozart's Bassoon Concerto in B Flat Major, K. 191 - I. Allegro

performed by the Skidmore College Orchestra

Record start sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/Corsica_S/sounds/174771/

Fireplace sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/juskiddink/sounds/215658/

Intro voice: @iamastove (twitter.com/iamastove)

...

This was actually a terrible idea for a podcast

 

Space Money Octagon Presents

The Filmography Disquisition Series

Volume 2

Kristen Stewart: An Exhaustive Examination

Episode 2: Panic Room (2002)

Sarah Altman is a moody, youthful razor scooter enthusiast on the hunt for a new home in Manhattan, New York with her mother. She's drawn to the cool panic room in one home and lucks out, because that's the home her mom decides to buy. Her luck immediately changes, though, as her home is broken into on their first night there.  A heavy sleeper, Sarah isn't alerted to the criminals' activity until her mother awakens her. They dash into the panic room and soon begin negotiating with the burglars. Sarah proves adept at this, coaching her mom in how best to profanely demand the criminals leave them alone. As the situation intensifies, Sarah soon finds herself the calmer of the two in the panic room, and attempts to signal SOS with a flash light to neighbor. Soon though, Sarah - who happens to be diabetic - becomes incapacitated when her blood sugar drops. Her situation then grows even MORE precarious when - due to a convoluted sequence of events - TWO of the bad guys lock themselves in the room with her. Fortunately, one of the scoundrels has a heart of gold and helps Sarah with her blood sugar emergency. As the criminals' plan unravels, Sarah rushes into action and is able to help turn the tables using the very medical supplies that saved her life once before. With the bad guys finally dispatched, Sarah is once again called into action to help her mother find a new, less panic-inducing, home.

 

 

Join co-hosts Vanessa and Toben on a quest that began (in Volume 1) with one of the most pressing cinematic questions of our time: what's the best movie Blake Lively's ever been in?

In Volume 2, Vanessa and Toben seek to determine the best Kristen Stewart move of all time.

They will watch - in chronological order - every major motion picture featuring the actress Kristen Stewart. At the end of each episode, an updated ranking of Kristen Stewart movies will be determined using a refined academic and scientific process.

 

Contact: [email protected] (emails may be read on the show)

Hosts: Vanessa (http://twitter.com/the_virago) and Toben (http://twitter.com/pursuedbyabeard)

Music: Mozart's Bassoon Concerto in B Flat Major, K. 191 - I. Allegro

performed by the Skidmore College Orchestra

Record start sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/Corsica_S/sounds/174771/

Fireplace sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/juskiddink/sounds/215658/

Intro voice: @iamastove (twitter.com/iamastove)

...

This was actually a terrible idea for a podcast

 

Space Money Octagon Presents

The Filmography Disquisition Series

Volume 1

Blake Lively: An Exhaustive Examination

Bonus Episode - Gossip Girl

Privileged teens living on the Upper East Side of New York can hide no secret from the ruthless blogger who is always watching.

 

Series overview:

Join Vanessa and Toben on an academic and well-researched quest to answer one of the most pressing cinematic questions of our time: what's the best movie Blake Lively's ever been in? During volume one of this series, they will watch - in chronological order - every single major motion picture featuring the actress Blake Lively. At the end of each episode, an updated ranking of Blake Lively movies will be determined, until the inevitable conclusion.

 Film rankings:

1. The Shallows

2. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

3. The Town

4. The Age of Adaline

5. Elvis and Anabelle

6. Savages

7. The Private Lives of Pippa Lee

8. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2

9. Accepted

10. Green Lantern

11. Hick

12. Cafe Society

13. Simon Says

14. New York I Love You

Contact: [email protected] (emails may be read on the show)

Hosts: Vanessa (http://twitter.com/the_virago) and Toben (http://twitter.com/pursuedbyabeard)

Music: Mozart's Bassoon Concerto in B Flat Major, K. 191 - I. Allegro

performed by the Skidmore College Orchestra

Record start sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/Corsica_S/sounds/174771/

Fireplace sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/juskiddink/sounds/215658/

Intro voice: @iamastove (twitter.com/iamastove)

...

This was actually a terrible idea for a podcast

Space Money Octagon Presents

The Filmography Disquisition Series

Volume 1

Blake Lively: An Exhaustive Examination

Episode 14 - The Shallows (2016)

Nancy Adams is a medical student taking some time away from the daily grind to enjoy a vacation in Mexico. When her hungover and irresponsible travel buddy bails on plans for surfing, Nancy decides to go it alone at a secret beach that she knows about thanks to photos from her dearly departed mother.

Nancy, who is very good a surfing and filling out surfwear, meets a couple of locals who tell her about some of the ins and outs of the secret beach - which is more intense than the beaches she usually surfed in Texas.

After a day of hanging 10, Nancy is ready to pack it in - after catching just one more wave. As she paddles out in search of the right wave, she comes across the partially eaten carcass of a dead whale. Nancy heads to shore, but not before catching the attention of the shark defending its feeding grounds. After a nearly deadly encounter with the shark, a wounded Nancy ends up stranded on a small rock outcropping. Armed only with her wits, medical training, and the friendship of a sassy seagull, Nancy treats her bloody leg and gets to work on a plan to escape the shark - which is now stalking her in a really vindictive sort of way. After several failed plans (and dead bystanders), Nancy harnesses the fighting spirit of her mother and engages the shark in a deadly battle of wills. After lighting the shark on fire with a flare gun and dead whale oil, Nancy finally outwits the sea beast, leading to its briny demise at the bottom of the ocean floor. One year later, Dr. Nancy Adams returns to surfing alongside her father and sister and the memory of her mother.

Film rankings thus far:

1. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

2. The Town

3. The Age of Adaline

4. Elvis and Anabelle

5. Savages

6. The Private Lives of Pippa Lee

7. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2

8. Accepted

9. Green Lantern

10. Hick

11. Cafe Society

12. Simon Says

13. New York I Love You

Series overview:

Join Vanessa and Toben on an academic and well-researched quest to answer one of the most pressing cinematic questions of our time: what's the best movie Blake Lively's ever been in? During volume one of this series, they will watch - in chronological order - every single major motion picture featuring the actress Blake Lively. At the end of each episode, an updated ranking of Blake Lively movies will be determined, until the inevitable conclusion.

Contact: [email protected] (emails may be read on the show)

Hosts: Vanessa (http://twitter.com/the_virago) and Toben (http://twitter.com/pursuedbyabeard)

Music: Mozart's Bassoon Concerto in B Flat Major, K. 191 - I. Allegro

performed by the Skidmore College Orchestra

Record start sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/Corsica_S/sounds/174771/

Fireplace sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/juskiddink/sounds/215658/

Intro voice: @iamastove (twitter.com/iamastove)

...

This was actually a terrible idea for a podcast

Space Money Octagon Presents

The Filmography Disquisition Series

Volume 1

Blake Lively: An Exhaustive Examination

Episode 13 - Cafe Society (2016)

Veronica Hayes is tall and striking and sweet and likes jazz and scotch and living in the 1930s. She works in public relations for the mayor's office in New York. One day she meets a short, talkative man at a night club and he wins her over with his sad puppy charms. They soon get married and have their first child. But complications arrive in the form of an old flame of Veronica's husband. Veronica is abandoned at home with child while her no good nebbish husband sneaks around town with his ex, who is also married. Veronica, who is wise and not blind, questions her troll husband about the these things and he just lies to her like she isn't Blake Lively. New Year's eve rolls around and Veronica gets all glammed up and looks amazing and also is pregnant with a second child. What happens with her and her no-good husband? Who knows?! The movie is over and nothing is resolved and Veronica is clearly too good for all of this. Her husband can jump in a lake.

Film rankings thus far:

1. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

2. The Town

3. The Age of Adaline

4. Elvis and Anabelle

5. Savages

6. The Private Lives of Pippa Lee

7. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2

8. Accepted

9. Green Lantern

10. Hick

11. Simon Says

12. New York I Love You

Series overview:

Join Vanessa and Toben on an academic and well-researched quest to answer one of the most pressing cinematic questions of our time: what's the best movie Blake Lively's ever been in? During volume one of this series, they will watch - in chronological order - every single major motion picture featuring the actress Blake Lively. At the end of each episode, an updated ranking of Blake Lively movies will be determined, until the inevitable conclusion.

Contact: [email protected] (emails may be read on the show)

Hosts: Vanessa (http://twitter.com/the_virago) and Toben (http://twitter.com/pursuedbyabeard)

Music: Mozart's Bassoon Concerto in B Flat Major, K. 191 - I. Allegro

performed by the Skidmore College Orchestra

Record start sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/Corsica_S/sounds/174771/

Fireplace sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/juskiddink/sounds/215658/

Intro voice: @iamastove (twitter.com/iamastove)

...

This was actually a terrible idea for a podcast

Space Money Octagon Presents

The Filmography Disquisition Series

Volume 1

Blake Lively: An Exhaustive Examination

Episode 12 - The Age of Adaline (2015)

Adaline Bowman is a kind, genuine woman, who dabbles in identity theft. Also, she was born in 1908 -  and is ageless due to a supernatural car crash and lightning strike. She lives in San Francisco and works at a library. One day, she's tasked with digitizing old film reels. Watching them triggers a flashback of her life up until now. We learn Adaline was married and had a child before her supernatural accident. When her husband died, she raised her daughter alone. But as the years passed, her never-aging appearance arouses suspicion from friends, neighbors, and eventually the federal government. Adaline escapes prying eyes and the g-men and comes up with a plan to protect herself: every ten years, she will move and assume a new name. This continues until the modern day: Adaline's daughter is now elderly and the end of another decade approaches. As New Year's Day and Adaline's birthday arrive, she celebrates with friends at a New Year's Eve party at a historic ballroom. There she finds an old photo of herself and also a handsome man who ends up spending a lot of time and energy trying to woo her. This includes threatening to withhold donations to her library unless she goes on a date with him. Things go very well, but this end up rekindling feelings of her dead husband, as well as another secret lover that she left before he had a chance to propose. Handsome man oversteps, though, by showing up at her home without permission. This puts a chill on things, until Adaline's aging daughter shares her feelings with Adaline, wanting her to live as normal as a life as possible. Adaline gives it a second chance with handsome man and they really hit it off.

Adaline agrees to a weekend getaway with his family. BUT IT TURNS OUT HANDSOME MAN'S DAD IS THE SECRET LOVER DUDE THAT SHE LEFT DECADES AGO AND THEY HAVE A WEIRD MOMENT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE ELSE. In another flashback, we learn of a time when handsome man's dad was also a handsome man and they had a lovely romance in Europe. Handsome old man confronts her about being ageless and she kind of freaks out and bails. But then she gets into a car accident that kind of approximates the supernatural accident she was in more than 70 years ago and she technically dies before being resuscitated. This undoes whatever sciencey magic thingy happened to her before, allowing her to age and love normally without fear of unwanted attention.

Film rankings thus far:

1. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

2. The Town

3. Elvis and Anabelle

4. Savages

5. The Private Lives of Pippa Lee

6. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2

7. Accepted

8. Green Lantern

9. Hick

10. Simon Says

11. New York I Love You

Series overview:

Join Vanessa and Toben on an academic and well-researched quest to answer one of the most pressing cinematic questions of our time: what's the best movie Blake Lively's ever been in? During volume one of this series, they will watch - in chronological order - every single major motion picture featuring the actress Blake Lively. At the end of each episode, an updated ranking of Blake Lively movies will be determined, until the inevitable conclusion.

Contact: [email protected] (emails may be read on the show)

Hosts: Vanessa (http://twitter.com/the_virago) and Toben (http://twitter.com/pursuedbyabeard)

Music: Mozart's Bassoon Concerto in B Flat Major, K. 191 - I. Allegro

performed by the Skidmore College Orchestra

Record start sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/Corsica_S/sounds/174771/

Fireplace sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/juskiddink/sounds/215658/

Intro voice: @iamastove (twitter.com/iamastove)

...

This was actually a terrible idea for a podcast

Space Money Octagon Presents

The Filmography Disquisition Series

Volume 1

Blake Lively: An Exhaustive Examination

Episode 11 - Savages (2012)

O is a cool beach lady with a flair for dramatic voice overs, sex in waterfront houses, smoking dope, and polyamorous relationships. She shares business and pleasure with Ben and Chon in Laguna Beach - the home of their lucrative weed business.

One night at dinner, O learns her boys have made plans for them all to get out of increasingly dangerous weed game and head to Indonesia. However, before their plans come together, O is kidnapped by a Mexican cartel. She's used as a bargaining chip to force her drug boys to take a deal that sees them supplying weed to less than reputable businessmen. Then the deal gets even worse, as the big bad cartel lady declares that O will be held for one year and that they'll have to give more money to her.

While in captivity, O is bound (but not the sexy way), and kept barely alive under the creepy and abusive eye of Benicio Del Toro. Sometimes, though, she gets steak.

O appeals to the motherly instincts of the cartel lady, earning herself some better treatment as she waits for her drug boyz to hatch a rescue plan. During dinner with the cartel lady, they bond over hopes for the future and a better life for their loved ones.

Their developing friendship hits a snag, though, when O is forced to watch a cartel torture and murder. Things really take a bad turn when O's drug boyz kidnap the cartel lady's daughter and set up a prisoner exchange. The exchange falls apart, but not in a dramatic shoot out way like you'd think.  The DEA shows up and arrests the cartel lady, while O and her boiz get a sweet informant protection deal. Everything's fine now and O recovers from her trauma in a nice resort-like community.

Film rankings thus far:

1. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

2. The Town

3. Elvis and Anabelle

4. The Private Lives of Pippa Lee

5. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2

6. Accepted

7. Green Lantern

8. Hick

9. Simon Says

10. New York I Love You

Series overview:

Join Vanessa and Toben on an academic and well-researched quest to answer one of the most pressing cinematic questions of our time: what's the best movie Blake Lively's ever been in? During volume one of this series, they will watch - in chronological order - every single major motion picture featuring the actress Blake Lively. At the end of each episode, an updated ranking of Blake Lively movies will be determined, until the inevitable conclusion.

Contact: [email protected] (emails may be read on the show)

Hosts: Vanessa (http://twitter.com/the_virago) and Toben (http://twitter.com/pursuedbyabeard)

Music: Mozart's Bassoon Concerto in B Flat Major, K. 191 - I. Allegro

performed by the Skidmore College Orchestra

Record start sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/Corsica_S/sounds/174771/

Fireplace sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/juskiddink/sounds/215658/

Intro voice: @iamastove (twitter.com/iamastove)

...

This was actually a terrible idea for a podcast