A simple tool I use when I get stuck in a worry spin: shifting from “what if” to “what is.”

Because my nervous system reacts to imagined scenarios like they’re real,

looping on worst-case what-ifs, keeps me activated.

While focusing on present facts helps me regulate and get back to being present, calm, and flexible.

When it comes to talking to others about p*** , whether we are struggling with it, or we find out someone we love is struggling. It is helpful to have a new perspective.

One that doesn't go to shame.

This is audio from an old video I created over 10 years ago, after teaching a lesson at church about this. Here is the link to the video if you prefer to watch. https://vimeo.com/140003122?share=copy&fl=sv&fe=ci

Today I share a lesson based on Elder Soares’s April talk about Jesus Christ as the true vine.

I explain why vineyards appear so often in scripture and break down the roles—God as the vinedresser, Jesus as the vine, and us as the branches—focusing on pruning and how it can feel painful but is loving and meant to increase fruitfulness.

I explore seasonal vineyard care, including the idea that in John 15 the word “takes away” can mean “lift up,” like a vinedresser lifting vines onto a trellis.

Then I outline what it means to abide in Christ through intentional daily choices, spiritual discernment, and listening to His voice over competing voices, trusting that pruning and lifting are expressions of love.

Whitewater Rafting and Practicing 75% Good or Better

I share my whitewater rafting adventure and how it became a real-life practice of aiming for “75% good or better.”

Rivers are unpredictable, with calm stretches and turbulent rapids that can change with conditions, and the trip helped me practice being present through both.

For me, the 1% horrible was the poop box (from the last episode), and the 24% bad was disrupted sleep in the tent and nighttime trips to the pee bucket.

Still, those parts didn’t overshadow the good: guides cooked every meal, rowed so I didn’t have to, and I could hold on with both hands in the rapids; I stayed in the boat, enjoyed stunning red rock canyons, learned from passionate guides, and loved the small group.

My Whitewater Rafting Adventure (and the Poop Box)

I share a story from a five-day, four-night whitewater rafting trip from Moab to Lake Powell where I had to tent camp and learn to use the “poop box” system because the company has to pack out waste in the desert.

As the trip got closer, I got increasingly nervous about sleeping in a tent and the bathroom logistics, so I coached myself with travel affirmations and did a breathwork session that helped shift my nervous system from fear to excitement.

On the river, I realized the poop box wasn’t fresh each time???!!!!

and the smell and mental disgust made it hard to go at first, but I found a way to cope using Cottonelle wipes and reframed the poop box from a weapon into a tool.

The trip was mostly wonderful, and I invite listeners to identify their own “poop boxes” and the miracle of new perspectives!

Today I share a tool that’s helped me move up the vibrational scale when I’m stuck in fear:

shifting from fear to love.

Gratitude is usually my go-to, but in two recent, very different situations, I couldn’t get there—and I realized I didn’t have to.

In my weekly prayer group, a friend reminded me that the miracle is being able to shift from fear up to love, and I experienced how powerful it was to feel love even while the fear didn’t fully go away.

I invite you to allow the fear, feel it for 90 seconds, notice it in your body, and then ask: how can I feel love here—being loved, or loving someone else?

Today I share how I’ve seen God prepare me in advance for things I couldn’t predict.

How being willing to follow my promptings has been a blessing in many surprising ways!

In this episode, I share a church lesson I gave based on Emily Belle Freeman’s talk “Best Days and Worst Days,” which teaches that mortality includes both best and worst days as a place for growth as we walk with Christ.

I relate this to my son Devon’s traumatic birth with rapid swings between fear and relief, and to a difficult year marked by postpartum depression.

I share two tools for handling life’s extremes: the “75% Okay or Better” perspective (most of life is neutral/okay, with small portions that are awful or amazing), and a “stay anchored” tool—stay calm, stay present (“eyes on Jesus”), and stay flexible—using Peter’s experiences as examples.

I also describe practicing this when Bryson’s mission return date changed, choosing calm, presence, and flexibility to support him.

Link to President Freeman's talk - https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2026/04/42freeman?lang=eng

I’ve been practicing praying in advance with gratitude

—thanking God for outcomes before they happen—

and it’s felt powerful and better in my body than praying from worry.

I share how I did this for my parents during a busy, challenging fall when my dad had three surgeries while they were selling their house and moving, and how things ultimately worked out, including a buyer who wanted their unique home.

I also share how I’ve been doing this for one of my kids by setting a daily phone alarm to prompt me to feel grateful in advance for a specific blessing, like Bryson finding a new apartment during his mission.

I’m not trying to control the future or the details; I just prefer praying from the energy of gratitude, joy, and trust over fear and worry

and I invite you to try it with something you’re longing for.

Episode #15 is about Prayer Cheat Sheets!

I tried to record a podcast about getting triggered at church, realized I didn’t record it, and started over feeling frustrated.

A speaker from outside our congregation shared a message on a common topic, but his angle and the “sticky,” old-fashioned, heavy emotional language didn’t resonate with me, so I stepped out for a bit, prayed to run into someone, chatted in the hallway, and then returned and enjoyed the end.

Afterward I processed what happened with my coach, named my emotions, and even rewatched the talk to pinpoint what bothered me.

I realized I agreed with parts of his message, but I was judging myself for not feeling “heartbroken,” then projected that into judging him even though he wasn’t judging me.

I’m grateful for the growth, and for having support like my coach, my emotions workbook, and Rob as a safe place to process.