Be not afraid! Eternal bliss doesn't pay the bills, so it's time for the heavenly host of angels to proclaim with unending hymns the reason for the 6,000-year gap in their resumé. Dust off your halo, preen your wings, and call your optometrist, because this week we're getting biblically accurate!

Discord (“I want to dig for fossils and then eat every one I find to obliterate all evidence of life on this planet.”): https://discord.gg/Y5Uw6sdmU2

Email: [email protected]

Bluesky: @monsterrightpod.bsky.social

DISCLAIMER: By listening to this podcast episode, the listener forfeits all right to their immortal soul (hereafter referred to as "the asset") and transfers ownership of said asset to Allison Alžbeta Asherah, the Dark and the Demonsbane. The asset can be recovered by the listener if and only if they can be your angle....or yuor devil.

Way back in cowboy times, a small town in Iowa was visited by a pterodactyl with laser vision. What better way is there to start the morning than by unpacking that?

Discord (“[recent quote from Discord]”): https://discord.gg/Y5Uw6sdmU2

Email: [email protected]

Bluesky: @monsterrightpod.bsky.social

DISCLAIMER: By listening to this podcast episode, the listener forfeits all right to their immortal soul (hereafter referred to as "the asset") and transfers ownership of said asset to Allison Alžbeta Asherah, the Dark and the Demonsbane. The asset can be recovered by the listener if and only if they can think of literally anything funny or interesting to say about Iowa.

In 1975, Universal Pictures released Jaws, the birth of a new shark-centric media landscape. But after the critical and financial failure of its three subsequent installments, the franchise was indefinitely abandoned. Now, in 2025, the powers that be have called on two snarky monster devotees to unearth the concept. We're Adam and Allie. Are You Afraid of the Shark Universe?

Discord (“And you must be married to peanut butter. Because you're jelly.”): https://discord.gg/Y5Uw6sdmU2

Email: [email protected]

Bluesky: @monsterrightpod.bsky.social

DISCLAIMER: By listening to this podcast episode, the listener forfeits all right to their immortal soul (hereafter referred to as "the asset") and transfers ownership of said asset to Allison Alžbeta Asherah, the Dark and the Demonsbane. The asset can be recovered by the listener if and only if they radio in and get a bigger boat.

This episode may contain some politics, mission statements, and broad generalizations. My road of good intentions led where such roads always lead.

Discord (“Look into the dark of what you do not know and feel hope instead of fear.”): https://discord.gg/Y5Uw6sdmU2

Email: [email protected]

Bluesky: @monsterrightpod.bsky.social

DISCLAIMER: By listening to this podcast episode, the listener forfeits all right to their immortal soul (hereafter referred to as "the asset") and transfers ownership of said asset to Allison Alžbeta Asherah, the Dark and the Demonsbane. The asset can be recovered by the listener if and only if they stay calm for once, instead of flying off the handle.

Adam was missing for several weeks in 2023. Upon his return, something still felt wrong. Imagination, it turns out, is a very dangerous thing.

Discord (“Unfortunately, it is possible that being in such proximity to me scrambled Yarrow's brain, cosmic horror that I am.”): https://discord.gg/Y5Uw6sdmU2

Email: [email protected]

Bluesky: @monsterrightpod.bsky.social

DISCLAIMER: By listening to this podcast episode, the listener forfeits all right to their immortal soul (hereafter referred to as "the asset") and transfers ownership of said asset to Allison Alžbeta Asherah, the Dark and the Demonsbane. The asset can be recovered by the listener if and only if they take a three-month two-month mental health break.

More people are familiar with the David Bowie song "Cat People" than they are the 1982 film for which the song was written. This tale of sex panthers, melting corpses, and unethical zoos has us wondering exactly how uncomfortable we should be the next time we find ourselves in a pet store.

Discord (“What's Maureen”): https://discord.gg/Y5Uw6sdmU2

Email: [email protected]

Bluesky: @monsterrightpod.bsky.social

DISCLAIMER: By listening to this podcast episode, the listener forfeits all right to their immortal soul (hereafter referred to as "the asset") and transfers ownership of said asset to Allison Alžbeta Asherah, the Dark and the Demonsbane. The asset can be recovered by the listener if and only if they order the gumbo.

Do you have the soul for getting down? Is Michael Jackson supposed to be a werecat? Who taught the zombies all this choreography? All these questions and many more will be answered in our examination of the spookiest music video of all time!

Discord (“I should curse more stuff”): https://discord.gg/Y5Uw6sdmU2

Email: [email protected]

Bluesky: @monsterrightpod.bsky.social

DISCLAIMER: By listening to this podcast episode, the listener forfeits all right to their immortal soul (hereafter referred to as "the asset") and transfers ownership of said asset to Allison Alžbeta Asherah, the Dark and the Demonsbane. The asset can be recovered by the listener if and only if they start asking the man in the mirror to change his ways.

As a kid, did you ever tell a whimsical story to explain why you got so dirty playing outside? In doing so, did you ever convince Arthur Conan Doyle that you could manifest fairies with your mind? Well, that extremely specific scenario did happen to the elementary school-aged perpetrators of one of the world's first photographic hoaxes. Elementary school, my dear Little Monsters!

Discord (“That's a very dubious use of the word 'conventionally'.”): https://discord.gg/Y5Uw6sdmU2

Email: [email protected]

Bluesky: @monsterrightpod.bsky.social

DISCLAIMER: By listening to this podcast episode, the listener forfeits all right to their immortal soul (hereafter referred to as "the asset") and transfers ownership of said asset to Allison Alžbeta Asherah, the Dark and the Demonsbane. The asset can be recovered by the listener if and only if they can tell that this looks shopped from some of the pixels and from seeing quite a few shops in their time.

It's time to check in on someone who's clearly checked out.

Discord (“WE'RE ON A BOAT”): https://discord.gg/Y5Uw6sdmU2

Email: [email protected]

Bluesky: @monsterrightpod.bsky.social

DISCLAIMER: By listening to this podcast episode, the listener forfeits all right to their immortal soul (hereafter referred to as "the asset") and transfers ownership of said asset to Allison Alžbeta Asherah, the Dark and the Demonsbane. The asset can be recovered by the listener if and only if they know how to fix this here ding-dang computin' contraption o' mine.

The timeline has changed quite a bit since we went on break, so now we're back to save humanity from the rise of the machines! AI can't take our jobs if we take AI's job first, and the most prominent of those jobs is sending Terminators back in time to kill John Connor. Come with us if you want a living wage!

Discord (“I feel as though Gila monsters make Yoshi noises.”): https://discord.gg/Y5Uw6sdmU2

Email: [email protected]

Bluesky: @monsterrightpod.bsky.social

DISCLAIMER: By listening to this podcast episode, the listener forfeits all right to their immortal soul (hereafter referred to as "the asset") and transfers ownership of said asset to Allison Alžbeta Dark, the Demonsbane. The asset can be recovered by the listener if and only if they've got Sarah Connor shoulders.