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Should I fight for this marriage, or is it time to leave? In this talk, Dr. Brad Reedy takes up the question of discernment: how to know whether to divorce or to stay. He explains why divorce always needs to be an option. If leaving is off the table, then staying is not really a choice, and the intimacy a marriage needs cannot grow.
Drawing on his work with couples and his own story, including the therapist who told him divorce would not be "better," only "different," Brad explains why the answer does not come from weighing pros and cons. Our relationships expose our unhealed parts: the fear of abandonment, the empty cup we try to fill, the need to be seen and validated. When we do our own work and find psychological integrity, the decision to stay or go comes out of that work.
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A Child's Greatest Burden
Jung believed that the heaviest thing a child carries is the unlived life of the parent. He wasn't talking about the parent who chased a dream and fell short. He meant the life a parent avoided: the risks never taken, the fears never faced, the feelings never allowed. That unfinished business doesn't disappear. It gets handed down. In this episode, Dr. Brad Reedy explores how children absorb what we avoid, often more than what we say. Wherever a parent is stuck, the child tends to take that on as a roadmap. They either repeat it or spend a lifetime running from it.
Drawing on Jung, Winnicott's false self, Alice Miller's The Drama of the Gifted Child, and Bowlby's work on how attachment passes between generations, Brad looks at what our children actually inherit: our shame, our anxiety, our blurred boundaries, and the parts of ourselves we've kept in the dark. The hardest part is also the most hopeful. When we make our children our project, we often dodge our real responsibility, which is to make our own lives the project.
Brad walks through differentiation, the difference between enmeshment, cut-off, and healthy connection, and why the greatest gift we can give a child is a regulated nervous system and a clear sense of self. Take-home themes: learn what is yours and what isn't. Take responsibility for your own peace. Know the difference between loving a child and needing to be loved by one. Get busy with your life. Follow your bliss. It ends with you.
Upcoming: AMA: Thursday, Sept 24, 6:00 PM MT
Art of Living Retreat Center: Sept 27–Oct 2 (artoflivingretreatcenter.org)
Ketamine Therapy Intensive: Oct 29–31,
Salt Lake City Finding You Intensives: Oct 7–11, Oct 16–18 (online), Nov 11–15 (couples), Dec 2–6, Jan 6–10, Feb 10–14 (couples)
Alumni Zoom: third Wednesday monthly OPLM support groups: Saturdays, oplm.com Inquiries: [email protected]
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Why don't we do the things we know would bring us closer to the people we love?
We're not short on instructions. Speak your truth. Tell your story. Be vulnerable. But a script for intimacy doesn't create intimacy - because the barrier was never knowing what to say. It's what happens in your body when you try.
Last night's episode: Creating Intimacy. The shift from doing to being, why "just communicate better" doesn't move the needle, and what actually makes closeness possible - with your partner, your kids, your friends.
Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Link in bio.
#FindingYouPodcast #DrBradReedy #Intimacy #Relationships #Attachment #CouplesTherapy #MentalHealth #Therapy #Podcast #SelfWork #ConsciousRelationships #EmotionalHealth
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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