Finding Your Groove With Kathleen Thompson

Some tell you to have an “attitude of gratitude”.  That sounds catchy.  And it’s not the same as practicing gratitude.  Practicing implies intention.  Work.  Even doing something you don’t always want to do.  Because you know it’s good and right.  Because it ultimately makes a difference in how you feel…and succeed.

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Rhythm of Life – Don’t Stick Your Neck Out

Gratitude turns what we have into enough.  -Anonymous

“Don’t stick your neck out!”

You’ve probably heard someone say that to you when you were thinking of taking a stand for or against something.  Or trying to make a change.

To some it means, “Don’t be seen.  Don’t take a risk.  Hang with the crowd.  It’s safer that way.  Don’t get your head chopped off.”

In my life, the phrase has taken on whole new meaning.  My Alexander Teacher wants me to be all in or all out.  Not stick my neck out.  That’s only partly in.

Going all in feels scary.  Less safe than only sticking my neck out.  But what if it isn’t?  Listen to the episode to hear more.

Episode 103, I talked about how much I dislike song Baby It’s Cold Outside.  All kinds of reasons.  Here’s a link in case you want to listen to it.

This song caused big controversy in 2018 because of #metoo.  Now this year John Legend and Kelly Clarkson teamed up to record a new version of the song.  With words that don’t seem to celebrate seduction by coercion.

And yet there’s been backlash for this too.

So here’s a challenge: write some new really cute duets so we can simply forget about this one.  Wouldn’t it be lovely?

I sat on my couch, hunched over because I didn’t have the strength to hold myself up.  Feeling like I was at the bottom.  What did I have to live for?  My husband had been dead for 7 years, and now I was seriously ill.  I couldn’t see an end to the misery.

“Write in a journal,” people said.  So I did.  Poured out my heart.  I did the same on my morning walks.

Now I notice it’s the same stuff over and over.  I realize I’m repeating it.  Almost rehearsing it.  As if I was practicing my lines in a script.

Is this helping me feel better?  NO.  There has to be another way.  Another approach.

Ann Voskamp’s 1000 Gifts.

Shawn Achor’s The Happiness Advantage.

Both books talk extensively about something important – practicing gratitude.

At time of this release, we just celebrated Thanksgiving in the US.  Whatever you believe about morality or lack thereof in the Pilgrims’ dealings with the native Americans, they set time aside to give thanks for what they still had.  Even though almost half had died.

I knew it was possible to feel grateful.  I just didn’t know how.  And then one day I had an “Aha!” moment.  Listen to the episode to hear what I did, and what the experts say about it.

You don’t have to limit your Thanksgiving celebration to once a year.  You can skip the turkey and pies, and go straight to the thanks.  Every day.

Give gratitude all you’ve got.  You’ve got nothing to lose except negativity.

Question: Do you even find it difficult to feel grateful?  What happens when you practice gratitude?  Leave a comment.

Give gratitude all you’ve got. You’ve got nothing to lose except negativity.
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The post Episode #127: Give Gratitude All You’ve Got first appeared on Kathleen Ann Thompson.

Self-help books.  Some people love them.  Others hate them.  Think they’re fake.  That there’s nothing new under the sun.  That they spend half their time convincing you that you need fixing so you pay them to help you do it.  What’s the reality?  We’re going to explore some together to find out.  It should be interesting.  It may be enlightening.  At the very least, it will be entertaining.

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Rhythm of Life – Fear is Like March

There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.  –Ernest Hemmingway

I was trying to take action on a business Idea I had, and….after 2 weeks I had made NO progress.  I had all kinds of “reasons”, but even they didn’t explain 2 whole weeks of inaction.

What caused much of the delay? Fear.  Soo strong that it felt like the lion that is March.  Not mild discomfort.  Nope.  A palpable fear, like a physical entity.  All because I had an idea.

Steven Pressfield talks about this in his book “The War of Art”.

He says that if you’re paralyzed with fear, you’re closer to your true calling.  Yet even though I know this, I let fear stop me.  For a while.

Today I finally started on a project plan.  With actions so small they will take 15 minutes or less.  Because they shouldn’t be that hard, right?

I encourage you to do the same.  And, as Elizabeth Gilbert says, don’t let fear drive.

See you on the road.

Breaking News!!!!  Notification of a violent event shows up on my phone. As I listen to the news app, I see comments scrolling on my screen. Two catch my eye, each claiming that the other party orchestrated this to take our attention off the impeachment hearings.

Since they both can’t be true, in the segment we’ll examine the logical case for either being true.  And maybe, instead of touting our lack of logic, we could teach students logic so the next generation won’t simply parrot what they hear elsewhere without subjecting the statements to a logic test?

What’s your favorite book?  We can learn a lot about a person based on the books they like.

Some people prefer fiction.  Others love biographies, memoirs, mysteries, children’s, or self-help.

And some don’t have anything good to say about self-help.  On this episode, we:

Think of me as your virtual crash-test dummy, except on books instead of cars.  It won’t be a rigorous double-blind study.  I’ll just report on my impressions and experience.  It should be fun.  Possibly entertaining.  And maybe even life-transforming.  We’ll see.

I know which books I’m going to start with.  If you want to join me, get the books in that order and read along. (If you buy with this link, I’ll make about $.05.)

Everything is Figureoutable – Marie Forleo

Afformations – Noah St. John

Creative Calling – Chase Jarvis

If you want to recommend a book to me, leave a comment or send an email to [email protected].

Here are the selection criteria:

“One must always be careful of books and what is inside them, for words have the power to change us.”  -Cassandra Clare

Books can take you to another world – out there or inside yourself.
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The post Episode #126: The Self-Improvement Experiment – Part 1 first appeared on Kathleen Ann Thompson.

When I returned home from traveling, I was so excited to work on my creative project.  Days went by and I hadn’t seen any progress.  Does that ever happen to you?  You have every intention of making great strides, and then you wonder “What happened?”  If so, this episode’s for you.

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This is a special episode.  I’ve been traveling for 2 weeks, and then we had a major storm that knocked power out.  So…here’s what I learned from my travels and post-travels.

I came home with action plans for my new songs and both creative projects.  All I have to do is start to implement.  But so much got in the way of getting started.

I didn’t plan for it.  I didn’t expect it to be so much.  Granted, the storm was an unusual wrinkle.  And, as a result, all the leaves came down about 3 weeks earlier than usual.

Some of that is normal.  And then there was the storm and unplanned eye doctor visits.  I had to be a bit flexible when it came to my schedule.

Has that ever happened to you?  Life gets in the way of the work you want to do.  Especially when it’s creative work.

It wasn’t all bad.  Here’s what went well:

What could I have done better?

Fortunately, I have a list of action items.  That’s important.  It’s also important to schedule your next actions.  Then make sure you either document where you left off or stop at a natural breaking point.

How do you keep momentum on your creative projects when you’ve been traveling?  Share in the comments.

When you blast off for travel, remember to leave time for re-entry.
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The post Episode #125: Your Project is Waiting first appeared on Kathleen Ann Thompson.

“Houston, we have a problem.”  This has become so famous that we say it ourselves, even though we don’t work for NASA.  Problems come up almost every day.  Some as small as breaking a dish when it drops on the kitchen floor.  Others require us to drop everything else to deal with them.  Like most things in life, effective problem solving is a skill we can learn.  And solving problems with love?  That’s what this episode is about.

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Rhythm of Life – Sometimes You Just Know

We cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them. – Albert Einstein

It started in my den.  With a phrase that is always near the surface of my mind.  “You are stronger than you know.”  The beginning of a new song.

I’ve had the idea for quite a while, and couldn’t seem to write it.  In fact, I wondered if it was possible for me to write it.  It felt too big.

But, on this day, I’ve got the beginning of an idea, and I write the chorus.  Then, working with my coach, polish it and add a verse.  The next thing I know, I’ve got an entire song.  Except I don’t like it.

Listen to the episode to hear what happened.

Sometimes you just know, you know?  Don’t ignore that voice.

Yesterday the Northeast had a huge storm.  Rain and high winds.  In some places, gusting to 100 mph.  And what do they call this storm?

Not a storm.  Not a Nor’easter.  Explosive cyclogenesis or a bomb cyclone.

I thought they were just hyping it by calling it that.  It turns out there’s a clear definition for explosive cyclogenesis, and this storm fit the bill.  But why haven’t I heard that term until a few years ago?  Can it be that it sounds more scary than a Nor’easter, so they’ve taken to using the technical term?

What if they dialed down the drama instead?  Listen to the episode to hear another naming option that might not be quite so terrifying.

“Uh, Houston, we’ve had a problem here.”  Those words, uttered by the crew of Apollo 13 when an oxygen tank exploded and crippled the rocket that was headed for the moon, sent everyone at Mission Control into problem-solving mode.  Trying to get the crew home alive.

They had a strong motivation to figure it out.  A life-or-death situation will do that.  And they did get the 3 men home alive.

But imagine how it could have gone.  If they didn’t know how to effectively solve problems as a team, it could have been a disaster.

The Challenger explosion is a case where it didn’t go well.  There have been several analyses done about where NASA went wrong.  It wasn’t so much the lack of technical know-how.  It was about the process of making decisions.  Recognizing and solving problems effectively.

Problem solving a skill, just like learning to code, fix a car, or play the guitar.  On today’s episode, we’re talking about solving problems with love.

Say what?  What does love have to do with solving problems?  Listen to the episode and you’ll find out.  You’ll find that ego has no place in the room when solving problems.  Here are the highlights as to how to solve problems with love.

Put the problem outside the group, on the other side of the table.

We can’t solve problems when our stress response is in control of our brains. Dialing down the drama gets our cognitive brain back on track.

Not just listen, but listen with respect and presence.  Practice Yes. And.  To hear more about that, listen to Episode 069.

Decide how you’ll decide before you have to decide.  And agree to align behind the decision once it’s made.

Problem solving with your ego is competitive, even combative.  Problem solving with love is about doing what’s best for the people with problem.

For Your Action:  Think of a problem you recently had to solve. If more than you were involved, how did you do?  How effective was your problem-solving technique?  Was there one area that wasn’t as strong as others?  If so, then decide in advance how you’ll do it the next time around.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this Built With Love mini-series.  To listen to all the episodes, go here.

Built With Love Series

Or scroll to the bottom of the post to see all the links.

Remember – you build what you love.  Not what you say you love.  Make sure they’re the same.

Problems get solved well when you check your ego at the door.
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115  – Built With Love

The post Episode #124: Built With Love – Problem Solving first appeared on Kathleen Ann Thompson.

Stories.  They’ve captivated and entertained us since humankind has been able to communicate.  They help us see things we never saw before.  Cause us to feel anger.  Outrage.  Empathy.  Joy.  Some of them, anyway.  Others?  We wonder when they’re going to end.  Wish we hadn’t heard this one 60 times already.  Want to escape the misery.  What makes a great story?  How do we build stories with love?  That’s what this episode is about.

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Rhythm of Life – The Jam Obsession

The great thing about a song is that no one has to know your story. But if you tell it in a way that has clarity and means something to somebody else, then it can apply to their story.  –Amy Grant

It all started with the scones.  Made with flax seeds and almond flour.  I bite into one and say, “This would taste great with strawberry jam.”  But I don’t have any.

I know.  I’ll make some!

One thing leads to another, and now I’ve made strawberry, blueberry, and raspberry jam.  I even made cute labels.

(c) Kathleen Thompson

And to think it all started with scones.  Or did it?  Maybe what REALLY started it was exercising my creativity muscle with singing and songwriting?  Or gardening?  What if the freedom I feel as I create has spilled over into the rest of my life?  What if the same thing could happen to you?

It can.  Simply by exercising your creativity, it builds the muscle until you find it coming out all over the place.   In flavors.  Like strawberry, blueberry, and raspberry.  Or –in your case – maybe chocolate.

As I was  writing the Rhythm of Live segment, I thought of this phrase:  Jam is busting out all over.  That’s a take-off on the song from Carousel – June is Bustin’ Out all Over.

Listen to the episode to hear me riff on this.

People use the word “story” all the time – in different contexts.  Marketing and branding experts tell us we have to be good at telling our story.  People feel compelled to tell their story to others.  And we often hear that the best way to connect with others is through story.

What do we really mean?  What’s so great about story?  Does it really matter that much?  What does it mean to build story with love?

One thing story isn’t?  Reciting a series of events.  Reliving an event in your own mind without communicating the emotion to the listener.

When told well, a story is similar to music.  It bypasses much of the brain’s normal defense mechanisms so we can be open minded and open-hearted.  It connects with deep emotions.

When not told well?  People can’t wait for it to be over.

Just like your voice is a gift for others, a story should be too.  Otherwise, you’d just talk to yourself.  To do that, you have to make the audience care.  Be emotionally invested.

At its core, a great story is about change.  A quest for the hero.  That’s why reciting a series of events isn’t a true story.  If you want to tell your story with love, here are the elements you’ll want to include.

To do that, you need to:  a) Know who they are.  b) Understand what they love and what causes them pain. What they think about.  c) Want to help and serve them in some way

2. Show conflict.

What do we mean by conflict?  Anything that causes the hero to reach a crossroads.  Also known as the inciting incident.

The end of the story.  How the character changed through the experience.  What they learned, and what we can learn from them.  The results.

To tell a great story with love means you so want them to understand something that you’re willing to work very hard to tell a story that helps them open their heart and mind.  You tell it with vulnerability and respect.

Want to know something?  Building story with love isn’t  just for other people.  It’s for you, too.  The most powerful stories are those we tell ourselves.  For good – or ill.

Why not take a story you’ve been telling yourself, and learn to tell it better?

Whatever the story, whoever you tell it to, tell with love. Love for the story.  Yourself.  Your audience.  And the art of storytelling itself.

Do you have a story you’d like to tell with more power and connection?  Leave a comment.

When you tell a story, tell it with love. For the story. Yourself. The audience. And the art of storytelling.
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115  – Built With Love

The post Episode #123: Built With Love – Your Story first appeared on Kathleen Ann Thompson.

We’ve talked in our Built With Love series about your product, marketing, culture, and leadership.  Today we’re talking about something that’s foundational to all – relationships.  Imagine how beautiful the world would be if all our relationships were built with love.  You can start to build that world right where you are.

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Rhythm of Life – What Did My Heart Say?

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.  –George Bernard Shaw

I’m writing a new song.  It’s theme is that little things are what we really love about other people.  I finish it, and then am not sure if I like it.  There’s something that seems wrong.  So I meet with my songwriting coach to review it.

It turns out the reason I think there’s something not quite right is because there is.  I make an abrupt emotional turn that doesn’t keep going in that direction.  It changes directions again only a few lines later.

I had to decide which way I was going to go with the song.  Either make that change and stay there, or don’t go there at all.

There are 3 lessons we can learn from my experience.  Listen to the episode to hear what they are.

From the totally random archives of my memory, a scene from Gilbert & Sullivan’s Ruddigore popped into my head.  As you listen, remember this: your heart isn’t always foolproof.  To discern what is really your heart, it takes quiet.  Stillness.  Don’t act right away.  Put it to the test.  Listen to the episode to hear more.

I found so many books on my bookshelf about communication.  All seemed to focus on one skill.  And yet so often it’s not those skills that are causing communication to suffer.  No, it’s more that we aren’t communicating with love.

What makes a great culture, product, or relationship?  Great communication.  One would think it should be natural, and yet it doesn’t seem to be.

Imagine if all communication was built with love.  What would the world be like?  Full of life.

What prevents communication with love?  To a large degree, our own pain and fear. That we’ve overcome with varying degrees of success.

How does it look to communicate with love?

Principles to communicating with love

Take a listen to these old episodes to hear more about this.

Episode 034

Episode 036

You can say something that’s true and it isn’t the truth.  The truth goes deeper.

Communicating with love requires sacrifice on our parts.  Sacrifice of our time, agenda, or ego.

Don’t do because it pays you.  Do it because it’s right.

The letter to the Romans in the Bible says this: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”  That starts by communicating with love.

Communication is the undercurrent to everything we do and say. Do it in love.
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115  – Built With Love

The post Episode #122: Built With Love – Your Communication first appeared on Kathleen Ann Thompson.

We’ve talked in our Built With Love series about your product, marketing, culture, and leadership.  Today we’re talking about something that’s foundational to all – relationships.  Imagine how beautiful the world would be if all our relationships were built with love.  You can start to build that world right where you are.

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Rhythm of Life – Going Out of my Head

If civilization is to survive, we must cultivate the science of human relationships – the ability of all peoples, of all kinds, to live together, in the same world at peace.  – Franklin D. Roosevelt

I have a garden in my back yard that I haven’t worked on for probably 3 years.  And it’s been a “problem child” ever since I built it.  Because several different kinds of nasty weeds were growing there as part of the woods before we cleared it out.

The worst is the bittersweet.  A vine that twists itself around bushes, trees, and even smaller plants.  The roots are orange and spread everywhere.  They’re so hard to dig out.  But I’m trying.  Trying to reclaim this garden.

Working with this vine has helped me see “vines” that have wrapped themselves around my mind and heart.  Listen to the episode to hear more about it.

Have you ever heard your parents say, “Quit coming in and out the door.  It’s either in or out.”

I felt like saying that to some flies the other day.  It seemed as though they were so anxious to get in, and then immediately tried to get out.

We can do that too.  Say we really want something, and then go in – out – in – out.  Instead of fully committing and taking action.

Dan Gilbert’s happiness talk shows that those who decide and stick with it are happier than those who believe they can change their minds.  Even if they don’t actually change their decision.    If you want to straight to the section I’m talking about, it starts at about 9:20.

Time to choose.  In or out?

How do people committed to one another, whether through marriage, family, friendship or partnership end up with a strained relationship?  How can so many relationships be dysfunctional and even harmful?

Relationships, even those closest, aren’t always built with love.  Even if they’re intended to be.  And yet, every relationship that matters should be built with love.  Not necessarily erotic or sensual love.  But brotherly love or sacrificial love.

Johann Hari recently wrote a book called “Lost Connections,” He cites research by a Harvard professor named Robert Putnam that is chilling.

Loneliness has become the predominant feeling in the United States.  At a high cost to us personally, and to the society at large.

Because strong relationships are the glue that hold us together.

What does a relationship built with love look like?

What makes this not happen?

There are times when we have to give everything and get nothing back.  And that’s not easy.

How do you build relationship with love?

A question to evaluate whether or not your relationship is built with love: are we better because of relationship?  Is the relationship expanding us – or not?  Is it expanding others around us – or not?

The stakes are high.  Disconnection and loneliness are at an all-time high.  There are cracks in society.  You can help repair them by starting with your own relationships.  Then spread to the greater community and the world.  It all starts with you.

What action do you plan to take to build one of your relationships with love?  Leave a comment.

Build a better world by building your relationships with love.
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115  – Built With Love

The post Episode #121: Built With Love – Your Relationships first appeared on Kathleen Ann Thompson.

We don’t usually speak of marketing and love in the same room, never mind the same sentence.  Yet, what if that’s what it was like, for both parties?  Well, it’s not only possible, but will someday what makes the difference between success and failure. On this episode we talk about how it’s done.

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Rhythm of Life – Little Women and You

Here’s my whole marketing idea: treat people the way you want to be treated.  –Garth Brooks

I just saw the trailer for the soon-to-be released new version of movie Little Women.  That same day there was an article in the Smithsonian Magazine with this as the title: “The new Little Women may finally do justice to its most controversial character.”

Amy.

She’s got a lot to not like.  And yet, her biggest flaw seems to be that she’s ambitious.  Unfortunately, women are often criticized for being ambitious, as if that’s a bad thing.

Now people who try to win at the expense of everyone else, and throw them under the bus are selfish.   That’s not the same as ambitious.  It’s time to change our thinking from shaming women for their ambition to embracing it.  Especially when success leads to more success.

It’s also time for us to stop shaming ourselves.

No one wins when we make ourselves small.  No one.  The world needs more people willing to live big.  Live bold.  Be ambitious.  Even women.

On Episode 115, I talked about a traffic jam in most unlikely place – Mount Everest.  This year was one of most deadly climbing seasons ever, and there was a photo of a huge line of people waiting to get to the summit.  Many said that Nepal should restrict climbing in some way.

Listen to the episode to hear that happened, and what we can learn from it.

It’s right on the cover of Seth Godin’s latest book – This is Marketing:  “You can’t be seen until you learn to see.”  And Seth starts to talk about the revolution that is going on right now.

The mass market has become splintered with the advent of the internet.  It’s clearly seen with the arts group I’m a part of, and with popular shows on television.  We can’t just put an ad in the newspaper any more.  And Game of Thrones, the highest rated show in quite a while, had only about 5% of the US population watching it, which is significantly less than many other popular shows.

The same thing is happening with books, movies, music, and food.  Pretty much everything.  Splinters are happening while we watch.

So…what’s the alternative?  Now you can treat people – like people!!!  You can market with love.

Marketing with Love means put others’ best interests at the forefront.  If we have something that can help them solve a problem we know they have, you have to tell them about it. Start a conversation.  Not force down their throats like cod liver oil.

When this happens, it’s magic.  Marketing becomes a joy to both parties, as opposed to a numbers game.

What does marketing with love look like?

That’s what it takes to build marketing with love.  After all, you’re building a relationship.  The same principles hold true.

As Seth says, when you do this well, you have the opportunity to bring work you care about to people eager to engage with it, pay you for it, and talk about it.  What could be better than that?

Your work matters.  Marketing matters.  Build it with love.

Your work matters enough to market it with love.
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115  – Built With Love

The post Episode #120: Built With Love – Your Marketing first appeared on Kathleen Ann Thompson.

My brother-on-law made me an Irish whistle holder that was work of art.  What made it different?  It was built with love.  You know it feels when you buy or are given something that’s made with love?  It’s completely different from something that was made to be purely useful – or cost effective.  Today we’re talking about why it’s important and how to build what you make with love.

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Rhythm of Life – Smoke Gets in What?

Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.  – Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

I’m standing in the kitchen preparing to make blueberry jam.  All I have left to do before actually making the jam is to boil the water that will seal the jars.  The first time I made jam this year, I used a tall stock pot with a vegetable steamer.  This time, I’m using the actual canning pot, which is huge.

Listen to the episode to hear what happened – before I even started cooking!  Oh, and I wrote some new words to an old song, which you can also hear.

Clark Howard, a consumer advocate on the radio, talks a lot about “customer-no-service”. Well, I had my own experience with that this week.  Listen to the episode to hear what happened.

If you’re responsible for or participate in customer service, how about making it an actual service?  Why not mean what you say, rather than telling people what you think they want to hear and not acting on it?  Remember – it’s not what you say you love, but what you actually do that matters.

I asked my brother-in-law to make me a holder for my Irish whistles.  I wanted to have them standing up so I can quickly pick one up and play it exactly when I need it.  And Kevin made me one.  But it isn’t just a whistle holder.  It’s a work of art.  Because he built it with love.  For the craft.  For the wood.

On this episode, we’re talking about building what you make with love.  How it makes all the difference in how people perceive it.  Feel about it.  People don’t love what works.  They expect that.  People love what gets built with love.

Zappos Shoes is known for their customer service.  They build that with love.

Dinners at the Farm is known for their exquisite farm-to-table dinners.  Every aspect of the meal is built with love – from planning, to cooking, to serving.

These businesses are so remarkable that people talk about them.  They share with their friends.  That’s one way to tell that you’ve built something with love.  People talk about it – in a good way.

Two authors have written about this.

Seth Godin – Purple Cow

Jay Baer – Talk Triggers

According to a study done by Examination Labs in 2017, 19% of all consumer purchases in the US were directly caused by word-of-mouth activity.  And business-to-business referrals had even greater impact.

A purple cow and talk trigger put you in a category of one.  Even if there’s tons of what seems like competition.

Of course there still has to be substance behind the purpleness.  No one would care about a purple cow after the first 30 seconds if doesn’t give good milk.  Remarkable looks must be backed by remarkable action

Purple cow and talk triggers are great, and explain what helps word-of-mouth to spread.  But built with love goes even deeper than that.  Love a powerful word.  And building what you make with love can be even more profound than purple cow.

How can that love manifest itself?  –In the WHY.  Why this matters to you and anyone using what you make.  The WHY shoes the love.  It’s actually the WHY you love most.  It’s what you’re willing to go to the mat for.

Andy Andrews often says that he can’t stand the term “best practices”. He says they’re built by consensus with people who are merely above average.  Those should be the baseline.  People who want to build with love should think WAY past best practices to get to extraordinary.  Seth Godin says this too.

Think of what you’d like to build with love.  Ask yourself – what would look like if it was 10 times better than it is now?

Now Kevin didn’t have to make my whistle holder so beautiful.  You don’t have to do any of this either. It’s your choice.

But it’s magical when love is added to mix.  So what’s it going to be?  Are you in?  Leave a comment.

It takes a greater commitment.  Especially when you feel like you can’t go against the tide.  You can.  Find a way.  Keep love alive.  Build what you make with love.

You know how it feels to buy something built with love? Give that feeling to someone else.
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115  – Built With Love

The post Episode #119: Built With Love – Your Product first appeared on Kathleen Ann Thompson.

Culture isn’t what you say, but rather the total of what each one who’s part of the culture actually does.  Many cultures are built with fear, or without intention.  It just sort of happens, based on how everyone chooses to engage with the others.  To build a culture with love takes intention, practice, and diligence.  Not only that, but five practices that we’ll talk about in today’s episode.

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Rhythm of Life – More Emotion, Less Singing

A rhyme doesn’t make a song. – Dorothy Fields

At my voice lessons, Roger is coaching me through some of my original songs.  He’s teaching me how to express emotion differently from how it gets expressed in opera or show tunes.

I’m finding that more than just the technical aspects of singing have become habit.  How I express emotion through song has become habit as well.  And now I’m in the process of unlearning and undoing those habits to create new ones.

When habits are part of a group’s behavior, they’re called norms. And they need to be disrupted from time to time.  Because keeping to old ones can drag you, your team, family, or organization down.

I’m working to do just that with my singing.  You can do it too.  Disrupt your own norms.  Inhibit a habit.  Choose something else instead.  Experiment.  Play.  Until you find something that works.  That does what you intend.  And then at some point you’ll want to disrupt that one too.

What habit do you want to change? What’s your version of “more emotion, less singing?”  Leave a comment or email me at [email protected].

Today I went to a Jerome Kerns sing-along at a community center near me.  (He’s most famous for writing the music for Show Boat.)  Another of his most famous songs is “The Way You Look Tonight” with Dorothy Fields as lyricist.  That song won Academy award for best original song in 1935.   It’s from the musical Swing Time.

The number of women who have won an Academy Award for Best Original Song are so few that it’s noticeable.  Unfortunately, that’s similar to how many diversity efforts look in organizations.  Not necessarily for lack of trying, but because people often can’t see themselves as part of the group.  People who do things like that.

Part of education is to help people believe they are worthy. To open their eyes to the possibility that people like them can do things like this.  What are they and we missing if they don’t ever see that?

So, if you’re in a position to guide, encourage, inspire, or lead others, look for people who might not volunteer themselves.  Who might not know they could do something, and don’t even try.  Look for them and nurture them.  Show them that people like them do things like this.  And we’ll all go out humming.

Core values.  Often hanging on the wall in the lobby.  Set up as computer wallpaper.  Not always practiced.  Yet, are they actually values when they’re not practiced?  Your culture isn’t what you say it is.  It’s what you do.  Thus, it doesn’t matter what you say your core values are, no matter how much you wish they were true.  It matters what actions you take.

How can you build a culture with love?  It doesn’t happen by accident.  It doesn’t happen by posting core values on the wall.  It happens by intention and practice.  And exhibiting 5 characteristics.

Adam Grant – Give and Take.     Strategic Givers can build a strong culture.  Partly because giving helps to build trust.

Simon Sinek – Leaders Eat Last.    Others matter at least as much as you do.  You’ll put the team ahead of your own comfort or reward.

Yet, trust takes time to build.  So even though it’s part of the foundation, it doesn’t happen first.

One of the 6 important emotional needs is to have a sense of purpose.  The strongest cultures know that and make sure everyone understands what the purpose is.  That they work toward making that happen.  A shared sense of purpose creates cultural cohesion.

Both are necessary.  One without the other destroys relationships.  One pushes people away.  The other is based on a lie.

The power of honest and empathetic communication is amazing.  You may feel some immediate pain.  But that’s nothing compared to the festering wound that happens with dishonesty or cruelty.

A culture built with love isn’t all togetherness all the time.  You want diversity and challenge.  It’s the only way to growth.  It can even be loud and heated.  But about the situation, problem, or idea.  Not personal.

It’s important to know when to challenge and when to support.  Support when it’s hard.  When someone messes up.  When someone or the group gets attacked.

This one’s more about changing up how to do things.  Norms are like shorthand.  No one has to tell anyone how to do something.  They just know and do it.

But they can become auto-pilot.  They can be slowly poisoning the culture from the inside out.

Disruption isn’t easy.  It’s like changing a personal habit.  And disruption keeps people on their toes.

Wouldn’t you love to live and work in a culture built with love?  Where you grow, and so does the group? Where you’re working toward a greater purpose – together?  You can.  It starts with you, and can spread.

What does it take to build a culture with love? Trust, purpose, communication, challenge and support, disruption.
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115  – Built With Love

The post Episode #118: Built With Love – Your Culture first appeared on Kathleen Ann Thompson.