Recorded on 5.2.2025.

In this episode I engage in exploration of consciousness, that subjective inner awareness that defines our experience. I dive into the leading scientific theories, Integrated Information Theory and Global Neuronal Workspace Theory, and discuss how new research and phenomena like lucid dreaming are complicating our understanding. I also consider how sleep profoundly impacts our conscious state. Shifting gears, I examine the potential for diverse conscious experiences in neurodivergent individuals and the significant alterations trauma can inflict on our internal world. Finally, I ponder the implications of our understanding of human consciousness as we witness the rapid advancements in artificial intelligence, questioning if true sentience is on the horizon for artificial intelligence.

Recorded on 4.28.2025.

In this episode I dive into the often-challenging journey of starting and maintaining an exercise routine while navigating the complexities of mental well-being. I begin by unpacking the common hurdles that prevent many of us from embracing regular physical activity. From the ever-present crunch of time and the weight of psychosocial barriers like motivation and self-doubt, to the real-world limitations of socioeconomic factors and environmental access, we'll explore why good intentions often fall by the wayside. I'll also share a personal reflection on how creating this podcast has become a surprising yet powerful tool for my own accountability and motivation in staying active. Finally, in the "Today depression feels like" segment, we'll confront the frustrating experience of self-sabotage that can be a hallmark of depression and depression-adjacent mental health conditions, particularly when it comes to pursuing healthy habits like exercise. I explore the internal conflict of wanting to feel better yet feeling incapable of taking that first step, and discuss strategies for self-compassion and small, manageable progress.

Recorded on April 22, 2025.

In this episode, I grapple with the Supreme Court case Mahmoud v. Taylor out of Maryland. This case, concerning parents wanting to opt their elementary schoolers out of lessons involving storybooks on gender identity and sexual orientation, has been been on my mind.

I explored the central tension between what some parents see as potential indoctrination and the school board's goal of creating an inclusive curriculum. I also considered how this situation highlights the delicate balance between local educational control and the idea of a more unified national standard. For me, it brings up fundamental questions about where parental rights end and the responsibility of schools to educate all students begins. I also reflected on the professional judgment of teachers in choosing curriculum and how parental veto power might affect that. Ultimately, I aimed to work through these complex issues and connect them to the feeling of endless conflict that can often accompany my dysthymia.

In this episode I discuss how podcast (and other types of media) consumption is often used as a way to replace or mimic meaningful connection and relationships. The intent is not to diminish the value of podcasts (that wouldn't be very productive), but rather to consider how people, especially men/people AMAB can challenge their own consumptive patterns or extractive patters and build meaningful relationships.

This series is focused on combining a healthy exercise routine with conversation about current events, big ideas, and mental health. In this episode I discuss recent research into misaligned circadian rhythms and sleep schedules and how productivity dominates so much of our time. These intersecting ideas have the consequence of making already problematic issues of low energy, negative feelings, and ultimately depression even worse, while exacerbating other conditions like PTSD and dietary issues. The episode wraps by exploring how these realities can combine to make me feel like a sleepwalker in my own life. Recorded 04.20.2025

The struggle with the rowing machine continues, so this episode will feature a walk rather than a rowing session. But, to be honest, the day was so nice I didn't even mind. In this episode I fust look upward to the moon before looking inward and considering our relationship orbits. It's a change of pace from the politics of the prior episodes, but I think it's fun to change things up. You should be able to hear the evening birds in the background as I walk, which is an added bonus (at least for me).

This series is focused on combining a healthy exercise routine with thoughts and discussion about current events, big ideas, and mental health. In this episode I connect the recent nationwide "Hands Off" protests with the human need for connection. I wrap up with a discussion of what I call the "shields up" effect, essentially a barrier to connection that is exacerbated by my dysthymia. I also contend with some equipment issues, but persevere nonetheless. Recorded 04.06.2025

A new series focused on combining a healthy exercise routine with thoughts and discussion about current events, big ideas, and mental health. In this first episode I connect the recent marathon speech by Senator Cory Booker to the challenge of observing measurable change as a result of our direct actions. I wrap up with a discussion of the impact of dysthymia.

Recorded 04.02.2025

It's been nearly six months since the last episode and many things have changed since then. But there's still more work to do, and we're still here to do it. 

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In this episode I examine the sources of my identity and consider how much control I or anyone has over their ability to make changes or take ownership of who they are. 

Music by Luke Holizna

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