Finlos Lives

Eva co-hosts again, this time for a conversation about toxic masculinity. In doing so we try to unpack what that term actually means in a time when gender roles, identities, and expectations are being challenged- or broadened, depending on your perspective. This is a conversation that we hope you’ll hear with an open mind as it requires anyone engaging in these discussions to explore their own personal histories and identities. Toxicity is not a quality that belongs to any specific sex or gender, but instead represents a mindset that motivates behaviors that consciously or unconsciously maintains the status-quo of power dynamics in any system. It is unfortunate that the beneficiaries of that status-quo have been men or those who subscribe to or reinforce those behaviors. This conversation comes also at a time when Barbie, the recently released film, just cross the one billion dollar mark for global ticket sales and has garnered praise from many for advancing pro-feminist ideas. We’ll get into that topic as well.

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Eva co-hosts again, this time for a conversation about toxic masculinity. In doing so we try to unpack what that term actually means in a time when gender roles, identities, and expectations are being challenged- or broadened, depending on your perspective. This is a conversation that we hope you’ll hear with an open mind as it requires anyone engaging in these discussions to explore their own personal histories and identities. Toxicity is not a quality that belongs to any specific sex or gender, but instead represents a mindset that motivates behaviors that consciously or unconsciously maintains the status-quo of power dynamics in any system. It is unfortunate that the beneficiaries of that status-quo have been men or those who subscribe to or reinforce those behaviors. This conversation comes also at a time when Barbie, the recently released film, just cross the one billion dollar mark for global ticket sales and has garnered praise from many for advancing pro-feminist ideas. We’ll get into that topic as well.

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In this episode I explore feeling fat and all the feelings that accompany that loaded idea. Fatness and fat-phobia are intrinsic to American life, and as such I am both the recipient of harm and also guilty of perpetuating intersectionally opressive beauty standards. 

Music: "Death" and "Whatever Happens Between" by HoliznaCC0

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In this episode I spend a little time following up on the the Finlos Loves episodes about the art of the f*ck up, discussing how a produced episode about a relationship does not always accurately convey the reality of what a relationship looks like. Also, I give a spoiler-filled review of the series Star Trek Picard. 

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This is the second half of our conversation.

Eva joins me once again, this time for a conversation about making mistakes. Except, in this context it’s less about the mistake itself and more about harm, how we react when we do harm, and how to begin to heal after harm. Everyone makes mistakes and so everyone causes harm at some point. But when denial, shame, fear, insecurity, and anxiety all get into the mix, the fuck up is what is made. The fuck up is both the act and the person, an ouroboros of codependency and guilt. In this episode Eva helps to navigate some of the reasons why so many fall into the pattern of the fuck up, some of the potential sources for the pattern, why apologies often fall short, and what accountability really looks like.

Additional information:

The Four Parts of Accountability

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Eva joins me once again, this time for a conversation about making mistakes. Except, in this context it’s less about the mistake itself and more about harm, how we react when we do harm, and how to begin to heal after harm. Everyone makes mistakes and so everyone causes harm at some point. But when denial, shame, fear, insecurity, and anxiety all get into the mix, the fuck up is what is made. The fuck up is both the act and the person, an ouroboros of codependency and guilt. In this episode Eva helps to navigate some of the reasons why so many fall into the pattern of the fuck up, some of the potential sources for the pattern, why apologies often fall short, and what accountability really looks like.

Additional information: The Four Parts of Accountability

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In this episode I spend time remembering some of the details of that shape my memory of my mother. Title credit to Rebecca Sugar, creator of Steven Universe. 

Episode notes

Music by Luke Holizna, https://holizna.com/

Equipment used

Interface: Rode Rodecaster Pro II: https://amzn.to/3mDAZyT

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In this episode I spend time remembering some of the details of that shape my memory of my mother. Title credit to Rebecca Sugar, creator of Steven Universe. 

Episode notes

Music by Luke Holizna, https://holizna.com/

Equipment used

Interface: Zoom Podtrak P4: https://amzn.to/3Z1nN55

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In this episode I consider 20 years of life without my mother. Title credit to Rebecca Sugar, creator of Steven Universe. 

Episode notes

Music by Luke Holizna, https://holizna.com/

Equipment used

Interface: Zoom Podtrak P4: https://amzn.to/3Z1nN55

Support us on Patreon and PayPal!

In this episode I work through missing Eva while she's on a trip, and give a quick review of Netflix's Boo, Bitch.

Episode notes

Music by Luke Holizna, https://holizna.com/

Equipment used

Interface: TC Helicon Go Solo: https://amzn.to/3IOzpTq

Support us on Patreon and PayPal!