First Action Best Action

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Most mornings I spend a few hours working from a local coffee shop. I find that starting my working day in a third space (not my home or office) is a great way to start my day.

[Note: We will talk about why this is the case in a future episode.]

I love the staff at the coffee shop. For the early hour of the day, the crew are invariably chipper and helpful and always bring a smile to my face.

One morning I was working away and the entire staff started making fun of me because of what I was doing. Granted, what I was doing was a little odd, particularly in a public space.

As they were poking fun at me, I just smiled, waved at them, and kept on doing what I was doing.

The action I was doing is something I do every 50 minutes throughout my working day. You don't have to participate in this silliness out in public, but you should be doing this at least once an hour from the comfort of your office or home.

It takes just 60 seconds and will make you work so much more effectively.

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In 2013 I moved from Baltimore, MD to New York City. The move took me from a dying port town to one of the most vibrant and cosmopolitan cities in the world.

The move also tripled my living expenses. No matter how much good financial planning you do, that is a little bit of a shock to the system.

To make sure I was "getting my money's worth" from the move, I created a rule for myself. Following this rule not only gave me the best NYC experience possible, it also turned the city into a place where I felt at home more quickly than would have happened otherwise.

The rule isn't about moving, about being in a new city, or how to deal with an increase in living expenses. Instead it is about how I make plans and how I spend my time.

Even if you aren't moving anytime soon, the rule is something you can add to your life right away to add joy and richness.

This is what I did...

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In my twenties and thirties I made my full time living speaking and performing with a childhood friend. This means I have spoken and performed in all fifty of the US states, as well as large parts of Canada.

Because we were the special guests coming to town to share our talents we were invariably treated with great kindness by our hosts. Everywhere we went people were asking "What do you need?" and "Can I bring you anything?"

As much as I appreciated their kindness, I didn't want to be a burden. I would only ask for the bare minimum and I usually took care of anything beyond that myself.

I thought I was being humble and considerate. In reality, I was being a bit of a jerk.

Once I realized this I changed my behavior and in doing so I made my life easier AND I made the world a better place.

I know that sounds a little far-fetched, but the truth is when we turn down help, we aren't just missing the opportunity to make our day easier, we are also making it harder for others.

This is how you too can change the way you respond to offers of help and support, and why this change will benefit everyone.

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I am regularly asked by my clients how I am able to avoid being emotionally hijacked during my day.

They ask this question mainly because when I am talking about my day, how I structure it, and what systems I use, it sounds easy for me to manage.

In reality, the way in which I manage my day is straightforward, but simplicity doesn't mean that it is also easy.

Staying on track throughout the day and avoiding getting caught up in emotional matters is something that can be a challenge for me as well. The reason I am able to do it effectively is because I have built the skill of emotional resilience.

This is what emotional resilience is, why it is SO important, and how you can create it in yourself too.

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One of my favorite parts of living in New York City is the dating scene.

As a general rule, NYC is a hard place to live. It is crowded, expensive, and it seems like everything takes just a little longer. At the same time, I find it an utterly magical place to live. If you love NYC the way I do, you are willing to put up with the hardships and inconveniences.

Most of the people I go on dates with also love the city. They are willing to put up with the tough parts because there is something special here for them. A job they love, a passion they are pursuing, or NYC is just in their blood.

And that means most of the women I go on dates with, regardless of our dating chemistry, are interesting people.

A number of years ago I was dating a dancer in a Broadway show, An American in Paris, which was soon to close so I went along to see her perform a number of times.

That show changed the way I buy theater tickets AND it also changed the way I set goals in my business. Even if you don't like musicals (or theater of any type) this perspective is something that will help you set more useful goals in your business.

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In 1999 I was lucky enough to be Pope John Paul II's opening act in front of 25,000 high school students.

At the time the pope was almost 80 years old and (even though it wasn't known publicly at the time) he was also suffering from Parkinson's disease, so he was slow and frail.

To make things as easy as possible for the pontiff, the venue built some custom structures to accommodate his limited energy and mobility. One of the structures was a special set of stairs.

There is a powerful lesson in how we should construct our to-do list each day in those stairs. Here's what we can learn from those stairs when it comes to setting ourselves up for consistent success every day.

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I am a dreamer. And I don't mean that I sit around all day dreaming.

Instead, just because of the way my brain works, I always have a super long list of things I would like to do, be, see, and achieve. It seems that every time I cross one item off my list, I add another two.

Even if you don't have an ever-expanding list of dreams, I am guessing that when it comes to doing everything you want to do in life, there never seems to be enough time.

That's because our time, energy, and attention are limited, whereas our imagination and desires are not.

About two years ago I changed the way I dealt with my dreams and it has transformed the amount I get done and the number of dreams I am able to live.

AND it's not about dreaming smaller or working harder. It is something else entirely. Listen here to discover the change I made.

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It is obvious that we want to take the right actions. To do that, it's essential to spend time clearing mindset blocks and being productive as possible when we are taking action.

At the same time, it's easy to get consumed by worshiping at the altar of productivity.

The goal is never to be perfectly productive. Instead, productivity is a tool and sometimes the best thing we can do is to have a subpar day.

This is why...

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One of the biggest struggles when taking action is all the comparison that we do with others.

We look at how other people are living, the level of success they are enjoying, how seemingly easy it is for them to have that success, and the amount of energy they are putting in to achieve that success.

Recently I heard former NBA coach Jeff Van Gundy say "Comparison is the thief of joy." It's a quote that has been variously attributed to Mark Twain, Theodore Roosevelt, and C. S. Lewis, among others, but I think we know exactly what it means.

Here's how I ensure that I learn from the success of others without being crippled by comparanoia.

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Even if you aren't self-employed you will find yourself in situations where you are supervising tasks, managing tasks, and doing tasks. This is doubly true if you are self-employed or running a small business because you are required to wear all those hats.

Being the person responsible for multiple roles can make it hard to stay on task, or even worse, you may lose track of what you are supposed to be doing at any given moment. When we are pulled in a zillion directions, the most common response is to do nothing at all.

Here's how I structure my time as CEO, boss, and employee of my work (and my life).

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