The guys honor our troops and convince one another just how utterly useless they would be in the military. However, that won’t stop these soulless, paunchy nincompoops from cherry-picking the highest ranking jobs and demonstrating their lack of military expertise. 

“Hey Alexa, are you spying on us?” The guys volunteer their personal information in exchange for apps, access to social media and grocery coupons. Unplug your computer, get to your bunker and do as we say, not as we do.

The guys diagnose each other’s neurosis, discuss the ban on flavored vape products and form a conniving plan to sue everyone for anything (especially tacos). 

Would you marginalize your dreams for a quick buck? Is free porn as American as apple pie? What if Sylvester Stallone's next Rocky movie were entirely about running his restaurant? The guys give "just the tip" in this mini-episode. 

Oh, the things we do for minimum wage. The guys reminisce about their best/worst jobs and pitch their next bizzilion dollar idea “Undercover Boss… for small businesses”.

How do you know Google is female? It won't let you finish your sentences! The guys plan the next monumental women’s movement, discuss why bad dads spawn the best strippers and pitch a new pet project titled “Schizi”

Brandon just flew in from Disney World and boy did he perspire! The guys gestate an exciting new crop of amusement parks, discuss dreadful song lyrics and conceptualize their next blockbuster hit “Social Justice Warrior”.

Reminiscing about their not-so-glory days as two portly white kids in a predominantly black school district. The guys create their own sports, discuss the evolution of tattoos and sing an eargasmic rendition of “You’ve Got a Friend In Me” inspired by Randy Newman and Bobcat Goldthwait.

The pussification of America is upon us. 

The guys debut their new social media platforms, re-imagine the internet in a time warp and tell the tale of Eeyore the donkey’s depressing life story.