Sound familiar, write a list of all your contacts does this track?

(1 and 6 people are Narcissist)

Grandiosity, arrogance, no empathy. They are entitled and more special than anyone else, excessive need for admiration, they do not know what matters to them, they are driven by admiration. Emotionally shallow, self centered, do not notice other people’s experience. They gaslight, emotionally manipulative, passive aggressive, prone to betrayal, make promises that they will not keep (keeps people around) shift blame to others even when they are caught in the act. They blame others, they withhold from others, dominate people, get the last word, will not take responsibility, lie, cheat, neglectful and careless in relationships. They can remember all the important things of their boss- how is your daughter doing, how was her play, then come home and forget that it’s their anniversary.

Today we are switching gears and doing a case consult. We have been breaking down the over achievers, the over productive but under feelers and today we are going to look at a case of under functioning. The people that are stuck in the freeze and have difficulty motivating. A case of a patient thriving and over achieving to under achieving and doing the bare minimum.

Today our case study is an adolescent male late teens. A parent that has used love and logic parenting style. This patient was independent and needed little to no prompts to complete daily chores, schoolwork and daily task. A kid that went with the flow has a high IQ, good grades, funny, easy going, a very likable young man coming from a 2 parent household with an active social life, no substance abuse history or mental health diagnosis.

Sounds easy until it was not a switch flipped and motivation to complete work decreased, agitation increased, defiance increased and the parents did not recognize this kid. Should they continue the Love & Logic parenting style, is it depression and do the parents need to switch gears and be more active or allow natural consequences to unravel his last 13 years of school high gpa to plummeting gpa when stakes are high with college admittances and scholarships at stake.

How do they best support their son and what is best for him? How do we support the parents through this process bc it is painful.

Parenting these days is challenging, it’s hard. You have a baby and there is no user manual in sight. They let you leave the hospital as long as you have an infant car seat. That’s it. You’re on your own from there. And if you are anything like me, I worry about being a good enough parent. Am I being too hard on my child? Am I not being hard enough? WIll they leave childhood with any discernable skills? WIll they be emotionally healthy? What if they aren’t? What if they fail?? (and down the rabbit hole we go) That rabbit hole of fears. ANd speaking of rabbit holes, what kind of parent are you? Tiger mom? Helicopter mom? Lawnmower mom? Gentle parenting mom? Authoritative, authoritarian…..and then your head explodes because it can feel so overwhelming. Today we look at a parenting situation a good friend of mine called me about. SHe has graciously allowed me to use it for today’s chat. THanks shan, or as I affectionately call her, Digit. So, get comfy and join today’s chat, called Learning the Hard Way: Parenting/adulting stories.

The title of the show today is Resentment is my Love Language. We are talking about resentment. What it is? Why do we continue to do things to build resentment? If any of these sound familiar or you can relate today it is your show. When researching this show these were some potential titles. Can you relate to any of these?

“How to build resentment in 10 easy favors”

Do you say “I’m fine.” when you are not fine but seething

Resentment: the emotion that sends invoices. This is the you owe me if I do this

Saying yes, meaning no.

Resentful but polite.

People pleasing with a side rage

Saying yes, feeling mad.

Too nice, too mad

Smiling on the outside, raging on the inside

Quietly furious

Low grade rage

If any of these resonate with you this is your episode. If you are ever angry and don’t know why could it be built up resentment? Let’s explore this concept.

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Today we are circling back to a quote by Brene Brown “Crazy-Busy is a great way to stay numb . What a lot of us do is that we stay so busy, and so out in front of our life that the truth of how we are feeling can’t catch up.”We ask the question of why might we do this and what can we do to become more connected to ourselves. If we don’t pay attention to ourselves, who suffers? We do, our kids because we teach them that emotions are not expressed, our friends, our spouses, really any relationship because we cannot have emotional depth or intimacy. How can anyone get to know us if we don’t know us.

I have a lot of clients who avoid almost any negative emotion, they have a small window of tolerance for negative emotions. Feelings like- disappointment, rejections, sadness, anger, anxiety, loneliness, alienation, to name but a few- this leads to a disconnection from self. You cannot avoid your feelings or thoughts. They just sit there and build and build and build. Until one day you blow.

This week on Fit Mind Chats we talk about the unrealistic pressure we put on New Year New You resolutions. Who is dictating what you need to change, what was not good enough last year and who is setting your bar for success? If the answer is anyone but you how do we change it to you setting your bar for 2026. We explore connecting productivity with success, staying busy to stay numb, doing things due to comparison and fear of being judged. Get rid of the shoulds and explore what brings you joy with no judgement.