It's one of our dumbest ideas ever: This is episode 495, so we're discussing Interstate 495, the Massachusetts highway we've spent our whole lives driving up and down like idiots. 495 starts near Rhode Island (look out!) and ends near New Hampshire (oh no!). In between are lots of weird Massachusetts towns, which bring back lots of weird Massachusetts memories. So today's silly road trip includes: fake Pilgrims, the Thermometer Man, nerds at a football stadium, the early days of The Sponge Awareness Foundation, Kevin's 1990s open mic night (hope you like Jewel covers), Rubber Chicken Comics, midnight Snapple, the quest for clam cakes, apple orchards with free booze, the upcoming Northeast Comic Con (yikes, A.L. from Meatballs will be there), Kornflake's school days, mysterious pineapple glop on the beach, and zorbing. Also: Happy Birthday to The Karate Kid himself, Ralph Macchio. If he doesn't actually start to age sometime soon, we're gonna have to sweep the other leg.

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This week's promos: The Best Saturdays of Our Lives! Earth Station DCU! Doctor Geek's vaccination PSA!