Flourish-Meant: You Were Meant to Live Abundantly

Do you feel stuck in a cycle of repeating struggles? Your patterns could stem from generations in the past. Today's episode of Flourish-Meant addresses how to identify and break generational cycles.

Our esteemed guest, Gina Birkemeier, LPC holds a master's degree in psychology and theology and advanced training in trauma therapies to help people heal. Gina has walked with the hurting to help them find hope and healing for nearly two decades, all rooted in a combination of faith in God, psychology, biology and epigenetics. As a survivor of trauma and a cycle-breaker of generational dysfunction herself, Gina's passion is to help others heal from hurt and shame, break unhealthy cycles and find freedom.

Birkemeier explains that cycles of dysfunction do not repeat in exactly the same way from one generation to the next. Gina shares several introspective questions to help listeners discover if they might be stuck in a cycle of dysfunction.

What are things I got or didn't get as a kid?

What was it not safe to do as a child?

Did I need to take care of my parents?

Where are the places I feel stuck in caring well for myself?

How do I struggle in trying to care for and respond well to my loved ones, kids, or coworkers?

She encourages people not to dismiss the pain they experience but instead to give themselves permission to acknowledge trauma even if it doesn't look the same as another person's trauma. Birkemeier urges listeners to resist shaming themselves. Notice the issues without judgment.

Gina clarifies the difference between generational trauma and dysfunction. She explores the complicated process of determining a greater problem by looking for recurring problems.

We discuss the need to ask for support, potentially professional help. We also talk about the long-term nature of healing. Gina clarifies that healing and growth are not always linear, but this does not contradict progress. In fact, this might indicate deeper levels of healing.

Birkemeier warns against shame, defining it as the enemy's favorite tactic to break us away from healing, relationships, and hope that we can move forward. Gina encourages reaching out when shame strikes to silence it. She highlights a healthy support system as the key to effective healing.

Birkemeier recommends seeking a faith-centered trauma therapist. Gina notes that trauma often settles in the body and can manifest as physical symptoms.

She shares how feeling unsafe can become familiar. We discuss the potential complications in seeking healthy or safe relationships. Gina encourages wading slowly into new supportive connections. Birkemeier describes how we can check an make sure we are navigating trust in healthy ways.

Gina emphasizes the importance of setting healthy boundaries, especially while healing. Birkemeier describes the ripple effect of healing as redemption multiplied, noting how our choice to find freedom and well-being will impact those around us.

Gina states that no one is beyond the redemption of God, therefore we must all shift our self-view to one of recognizing our value to the Lord. We all bear his image.

Connect with Gina on social media at myoutloudvoice.

Find out more about her book, Generations Deep: Unmasking Inherited Dysfunction and Trauma to Rewrite Our Stories Through Faith and Therapy, at generationsdeep.com

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How do we experience hope in this moment?

Today's guest, Pastor Mike Ashcraft, shares how to shift our view of hope to focus on the present instead of the future. Ashcraft is the senior pastor of Port City Community Church and author of To Be Concluded: How to Prevent Your Past from Piling Up and Find Hope for Your Future.

We explore the common tendencies of focusing on the past with "rose-colored glasses" or shame or on the future with striving or anxiety. Centering our attention on the present feels counter-intuitive. Pastor Ashcraft emphasizes the purpose of redemption to address our current needs, not just the past or future. He notes how we can benefit from living with awareness of hope in each moment.

Mike illuminates the opportunity for living exists only in the present moment. He shares his journey of discovering the need to shift our attention to today. Ashcraft also shares the current reorientation occurring among believers.

We discuss the kingdom of God as a "now" concept instead of a "someday" idea. Mike and I talk about the way scripture defines faith journeys and the purposefulness of the space between a promise and its fulfillment. He describes Exodus as a story of God's people learning to steward freedom.

Pastor Ashcraft notes that most people like the idea of growth, but only to a certain point. We don't often embrace the extent of stretching required for profound faith. We discuss the pitfalls of Western culture in which we struggle with trusting in God instead of our own understanding and effort.

Mike shares the importance of taking time to experience God in the moment. He defines grace as the force by which we remain faithful, sufficient for the moment in the moment, like the air we breathe. Grace in the moment gives us hope for the future, because it is available in each future moment.

Ashcraft debunks the myth of things getting easier once we get more skilled or experienced in our calling. We discuss the danger of hoping in the fulfillment of a request and missing the blessing God offers with his presence. Pastor Ashcraft shares how we often struggle with destination thinking. He describes the issues with plotting out "if this, then that" in our faith walk instead of trusting God step by step.

Mike explains that we don't need to diminish or minimize our pain. We can bring the full weight of our pain to the Lord and experience the fullness of his grace. He also shares the increased joy available when we experience God in each moment. He states the nature of this shift as being about rhythm, not pace. Mike encourages listeners to take time to pause and reflect on the conclusion of seasons as well as believing in God for now and the future.

Connect with Mike on social media at @mikeashcraft or on the church website, https://www.portcity.church/. His book, To Be Concluded, is available on Amazon.

I would like to invite you to join The True Crime Mission Fields Program, a life-changing opportunity exclusively joining Christians who have married faith and true crime. Featuring Chaplain Lori Prather, the products within the True Crime Mission Fields Program allow you to connect your passions and skills as Christians with practical service opportunities within the world of true crime. You will begin to serve people in difficult circumstances, and have a greater impact in this world than you ever imagined possible. Access your Free Report: Meet the Christian Who Married Faith with True Crime and receive up to 70% of any collection when you use this link https://www.theunlovelytruthtribe.com/uttylk22r3e?affiliate_id=3727901

Embrace your immigrant identity as a believer! Today's guest, Mabel Ninan, shares insights she learned from her personal journey as an immigrant to help us embrace our potential as spiritual citizens of heaven on a mission together. Mabel Ninan is an author, speaker, seminary student, and podcaster who wants to inspire believers to embrace their identity as foreigners on earth so they can live with passion and purpose. Mabel recounts the trials she experiences when she immigrated from India to the United States and then relocated ten times in the following 13 years. Ninan shares how stress and low self-worth took a toll on her life when she had to leave her accomplishments, community, culture, and volunteer activities behind and move to a country where no one knew her. Mabel found comfort and strength in studying the Bible with other believers. She emphasizes the importance of seeking fellowship. Ninan reveals how our longing for rootedness is a shadow of our spiritual yearning for a heavenly home. She cites the scriptures identifying us as foreigners and aliens on earth because we are citizens of heaven. Mabel highlights the need to transcend our differences and join other Christians as fellow sojourners. Embracing our immigrant identity helps us recognize our place in a global church. We can pray for and stand with our Christian brothers and sisters throughout the world. Ninan refers to the Biblical principles to remind us we are bonded by one Spirit, one baptism, and a heavenly family. She notes this allows us to feel united with worldwide believers. We discuss the beauty of diversity in the Kingdom of God. Mabel explores how we are designed to complement one another and thereby grow in faith and love. We also examine how relationships with diverse believers helps us learn who God is and what his heart is. Ninan shears the following practical tips to embrace our identity as immigrants, foreigners on earth:

• Cultivate intimacy with Jesus by saturating yourself in God's Word so your heart aligns with His.
• Imitate Christ's perspective by focusing forward. What we do on earth matters for eternity.
• Live out your immigrant identity in collaboration with others. Reach out through prayer, financial giving, or conversations with immigrant neighbors.

During the month of July 2022, enter to win a copy of Far From Home by signing up for my newsletter AND Mabel Ninan's newsletter (at https://tinayeager.com AND http://mabelninan.com/) then contact Mabel Ninan at http://mabelninan.com/contact/ with your name, email address, and "subscribed to the newsletters and ENTERING TO WIN THE BOOK AS MENTIONED ON FLOURISH-MEANT" in the message box.

To get more freebies, send proof of purchase to Mabel Ninan at any time.

I would like to invite you to join The True Crime Mission Fields Program, a life-changing opportunity exclusively joining Christians who have married faith and true crime. Featuring Chaplain Lori Prather, the products within the True Crime Mission Fields Program allow you to connect your passions and skills as Christians with practical service opportunities within the world of true crime. You will begin to serve people in difficult circumstances, and have a greater impact in this world than you ever imagined possible. Access your Free Report: Meet the Christian Who Married Faith with True Crime and receive up to 70% of any collection when you use this link https://www.theunlovelytruthtribe.com/uttylk22r3e?affiliate_id=3727901

Do you struggle to find peace and rest in your life?

Today's guest, Melanie Redd, reveals why rest has become a challenge today more than ever. Melanie is an author, blogger, speaker, and podcaster.

We discuss the current issues and modern habits creating barriers to restfulness and inner peace. Melanie details practical ways to improve rest and wellbeing. She recommends walking, taking time to experience stillness and quiet spaces. We explore scripture references and Biblical recommendations to improve peace. Redd suggests using an app to turn all notifications off on our phones during certain hours.

We also detail the specific risks of constant intake of screen input for young minds.

Melanie recommends the following specific ways to improve rest in our lives:

• Take a break from screens each day.
• Pray.
• Read scripture.
• Journal on paper.
• Talk to others about what's going on in your life.

We discuss the problems caused by harboring struggles internally without releasing them in healthy ways.

Redd also recommends praying through the names and qualities of God. We highlight the power of praise to diffuse worry. Melanie says, "Satan is allergic to praise."

We emphasize rest as a gift from the Lord who loves us.

Melanie offers suggestions to help improve sleep. She encourages listeners to keep a prayer list, listen to soothing hymns or worship music, and praising the Lord for his attributes. We also highlight physical activities, hydration, and nutrition as ways to cultivate rest. Redd encourages prayer walking and journaling when battling insomnia. Off-screen hobbies and activities are also discussed.

Redd dares listeners to give themselves the freedom to take a few minutes each day to take deep breaths and rest. She encourages taking time to think and ponder.

Connect with Melanie at melanieredd.com, where you can also find her new book, Just Rest. Check out her podcast, Women Living Courageously, on your favorite podcast platform.

Are you living your moments? How do we live in order to finish our days with a "good death?"

Dr. Pamela Pyle shares profound insights from her experience as a physician in Rwanda and the United States when working with terminal patients.

Dr. Pamela Pyle is a Board-Certified Internal Physician, chairman of Africa New Life Ministries, national/international speaker, and host of the Hope for Every Season podcast. She is also a regular contributor for outlets such as The Epoch Times and Christian Post, As a doctor to terminally ill patients for 30+ years, Dr. Pyle has had countless end-of-life conversations both in state-of-the-art hospitals in the US and in more nascent clinics in Rwanda. In 2018 a dying patient comforted her with the words, "It's okay, I am going to have a good death." Her peace through her suffering inspired Dr. Pyle's quest for the answers to the question, "What are the ingredients of a good death?" A Good Death is Not an Event, it's a Lifestyle is the message of the ingredients and her tool for evangelism through sharing her best death found in Jesus Christ. Dr. Pyle's hope is that the ingredients for a good death make one's suffering a little less and their joy a little more.

We discuss the ways we get distracted by urgency and miss the most important moments and features in our lives. Dr. Pyle asks herself three questions to keep herself aligned with living a meaningful life:

• Am I truly living my moments?
• Am I fully breathing my purpose?
• Am I confident of my destination?

Pamela illustrates these principles of living with true meaning through sharing insights learned from patients as well as her own experiences.

She emphasizes the power of focusing our full attention on those with whom we have opportunities to spend our time. Noticing and edifying others with genuineness is encouraged. Dr. Pyle notes how living our moments today prepares us for a good death in the future.

Pamela states that living intentionally hinges upon relational mindfulness. She recommends random kindness as a daily goal. Dr. Pyle also emphasizes the need to watch others' expressions to fully understand how we impact their hearts.

Pamela encourages listeners to understand discovering purpose as a process that requires listening to the Holy Spirit while remaining trustworthy in each small step.

The way we live determines how others experience Jesus through us. Pamela recommends following through on our purpose. She defines a "good death" as the exclamation point on a life well lived. Dr. Pyle describes a good death as a lifestyle, not an event.

Pamela shares the vital element of meaningfulness found only in Christ, who ensures us of our eternal destination.

Dr. Pyle promises to make a personal visit (during her 2022 visit to Rwanda in July and August) to any child sponsored by listeners who mention her name in an email to africanewlife at www.africanewlife.org . To get a sneak peek of her book or obtain all her tips to live your best life, visit www.drpamela.com.

Join the True Crime Mission Program at https://www.theunlovelytruthtribe.com/uttylk22r3e?affiliate_id=3727901

How do we prepare for life's storms?

Pastor Andy Clapp joins us today to reveal ways we can prepare before crises strike. Andy Clapp is the Senior Pastor at Mt. Zion Baptist Church and an award-winning author of a novel entitled Midnight, Springtime for Your Spirit (a devotional co-authored with Michelle Medlock Adams) and his new devotional, In the Eye of the Storm.

We discuss similarities between the experiences we face during a severe weather threat and personal crises. Pastor Clapp notes how we can be tempted to procrastinate instead of preparing for potential problems. He recommends taking time to listen in prayer and apply deep scripture meditation to our lives as advance preparation.

When troubles hit us, anxiety and chaos complicate our efforts to make the best decisions. Trusting Christ ahead of a storm helps us avoid the mindset trap of "what am I going to do" when crisis strikes.

Andy recommends increased prayer time and wise Christian counsel as essentials to prepare our souls ahead of a crisis. We need to maintain consistent growth. He also advises us to pay attention to how we make decisions. Our immediate instinct to rely on our own efforts can make situations worse. If we make a habit of seeking God, then we are more likely to turn to him for strength and direction when we need it the most.

We discuss the issue of misplaced hope. Hoping in the Lord instead of outcomes helps anchor us when struggles hit us. Andy shares his own suffering when his family lost a 13-year-old boy. He relates the crushing sorrow of this unexpected grief while highlighting the ways God demonstrated his loving presence throughout the painful experience of loss.

Pastor Clapp emphasizes how God is always at work, even in the storms that bring us painful outcomes. He describes the ways Christ's presence blesses us when we mourn and suffer.

We discuss how the Lord weeps for us when we are hurting. Andy notes how Jesus understands our emotional pain and suffering.

Clapp encourages us to pray for wisdom and discernment often. Some storms can be avoided. He recommends examining our lives to discover weak spots where the enemy could target us. If we turn those vulnerable areas over to the Lord, he can strengthen us. Intentional prayer, meditating on scripture, and listening to life-giving podcasts and messages can help us prepare.

Andy urges us to examine all the areas where the enemy can tempt or influence our lives and block his means of attack. He concludes with the advice to remain centered in Christ.

Connect with Andy Clapp at andyclapp.org, on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. Check out his books on Amazon.

I would like to invite you to join The True Crime Mission Fields Program, a life-changing opportunity exclusively joining Christians who have married faith and true crime.

Featuring Chaplain Lori Prather, the products within the True Crime Mission Fields Program allow you to connect your passions and skills as Christians with practical service opportunities within the world of true crime.

You will begin to serve people in difficult circumstances and have a greater impact in this world than you ever imagined possible. Access your Free Report: Meet the Christian Who Married Faith with True Crime and receive up to 70% of any collection when you use this link https://www.theunlovelytruthtribe.com/uttylk22r3e?affiliate_id=3727901

How do we help girls develop a secure identity?

Today's guest, Patti Garibay, guides us toward supporting healthy and secure identity for girls so they can pay forward a heritage of truth-centered confidence. Patti Garibay is the Founder and Executive Director of American Heritage Girls, a national Christ-centered leadership and character development program. She is also the author of "Why Curse the Darkness When You Can Light a Candle?"

Garibay shares the challenges today's generation faces regarding identity and security. We discuss how parents and programs like American Heritage Girls can present truth-founded boundaries in a loving and welcoming environment. Patti describes faith as a way of life and interacting with others. She confirms the need for girls to cultivate a worldview and faith of their own instead of depending only upon their parents' standards.

Patti expresses her passion to help girls access the security and truths she wished she could have had herself as a young girl.

We discuss the need for girls to access in-person opportunities to interact with peers in order to cultivate healthy neurological and social development.

Patti and I also emphasize the importance of creating an ongoing, open conversation with kids about how they feel and what they're facing. Patti recommends praying for a calm spirit when entering into a discussion so parents don't react in a way that discourages kids from sharing with them in the future.

To find out more about American Heritage Girls, visit the website at https://americanheritagegirls.org/. Check out Patti Garibay's new book, "Why Curse the Darkness When You Can Light a Candle?" at https://www.amazon.com/Curse-Darkness-When-Light-Candle/dp/1949572862

Do you feel stuck? Are you struggling to know and walk out your purpose? Maybe you can't even see the next steps in your life?

Today's guest, Amy Joob, shares her personal story of overcoming barriers to shift into new callings and fulfill her God-given purpose. Amy Joob is an award-winning author, speaker, and model turned advocate.

We discuss how the seasons of uncertainty and failure can become opportunities to discover a new, God-given direction.

Amy shares her journey of life-changing moments when injury nudged her from competing as a tri-athlete into modeling, yet later faced recent shutdowns in her industries in modeling and trade shows. She then describes dental pain occurring during God's call to speaking and writing.

Joob quotes her father-in-law, who told her, "If you fail, it's on God because he told you to do it."

We discuss the need to depend upon God's strength to follow his calling. Amy shares how she needed to let go of perfectionism and self-reliance in order to fulfill her God-given purpose.

Amy and I explore the difference between the world's concept of success and God's definition of fulfilling our calling. We point to Biblical figures who exemplify serving their divine purpose, like David, Paul, and Moses.

Amy emphasizes seeking the next right step rather than expecting to continue on one path of singular purpose throughout life. She describes seasons, noting her own time of caring for her son when he faced a serious medical diagnosis.

Among the steps to move into fulfilling divine calling and purpose, Joob lists prayer, fellowship, holding onto hope in seasons of waiting or caregiving, obedient movement forward, letting go of perfectionism and shame, and forgiveness.

We discuss how God doesn't always reveal a long-term vision.

Amy recommends fasting and prayer for key strategies to help discern God's will. We also discuss putting God first and seeking his direction at the onset of each day.

We also discuss the blessing we can offer by inviting others to help us through delegating.

To connect with Amy and check out her books, Model Behavior and Unstuck: Step into the New, visit amyjoob.com. Listen to her new podcast, Support Someone Saturday, on your favorite podcast platform.

How could you speak up to help those who have no voice because they suffer from human trafficking? Today's guest, Andi Buerger, shares her personal story and mission which culminates in the ministry she provides to advocate for victims. Andi is the founder of Voices Against Trafficking and is an active warrior against 21st-century slavery - human trafficking. Her journey began when she survived 17 years of child sex trafficking from the age of 6 mos to 17 years. After her escape, Andi had a choice - to live for herself or to fight for others trapped by predators. She chose to fight. Andi has become a tough fighter for human rights. Buerger states that she recalls serving in a soup kitchen after suffering her fourth brain injury. Despite challenges to her memory during that time, homeless teens made an unforgettable impression on her heart. Andi and her husband established Beulah's Place in Redmond, Oregon, a ministry to rescue homeless, abused, and at-risk teenagers. Andi and I discuss the need to create safe places for kids, where they can speak up if someone mistreats them. Buerger also details ways to educate the community and better protect our children. Connect with Andi Buerger's ministry and check out her book at voicesagainsttrafficking.com.

Join the True Crime Missions Program at https://www.theunlovelytruthtribe.com/uttylk22r3e?affiliate_id=3727901

How do we discuss grief with our kids?

Today's guest, Mark Gregston, shares how we can support kids through experiences of grief.

Mark Gregston began his work with teens forty years ago when he was a youth minister and then an area director with Young Life. He and his wife Jan opened their home to work with those who were struggling through family crises, and in 1989, Mark and Jan moved with their two children, Adam and Melissa, to Hallsville, Texas. Here they started Heartlight, a residential counseling center for struggling teens and families in crisis.

Mark explains the importance of validating the sorrow of loss and allowing kids the time to grieve. We discuss the need to lament each loss and how grief shows how much we value life. Gregston notes the need for kids to acknowledge how much the person or pet meant to them. We discuss the vital need for a child to feel heard and to experience compassion.

Mark emphasizes the need to allow kids to talk through their feelings without feeling rushed. We explore the harm caused by those who rush us past grief and urge us to move on too quickly. Instead of robbing us of the important period of lament by shoving us into feeling better immediately, supportive friends and family should choose a more loving response and prove willing to endure our sorrow with us. We note how love is proven by our willingness to be in the uncomfortable space of pain with our family and neighbors.

Mark Gregston's book, Where's Stitch, creates discussion points using the framework of story to invite kids to explore conversations about grief. He highlights the need to acknowledge we don't have all the answers. Gregston also encourages parents and supportive loved ones to remain silent or simply assure the bereaved of their presence instead of trite responses, advice, or food.

Get your copy of Where's Stitch at https://wheresstitchbook.com/ Connect with Mark Gregston's ministries at https://www.heartlightministries.org/ and https://parentingtodaysteens.org/

Access the Unlovely Truth's free report at https://www.theunlovelytruthtribe.com/uttylk22r3e?affiliate_id=3727901