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We Are Back!!! After a long hiatus, we are back to recapping our vintage housewives episodes from where it all started the OC and OMG this season was better than I remembered. Vicki and Donn fight over a pug. Tammy doesn't like pit bulls. Jo takes a job in LA. Lauri and Jo finally discuss the Slade of it all and his habit of double dipping. Jo replaces Slade for Shane and she is clearly attracted to red flags. Jo and Slade fight AGAIN. Everytime I think these two are broken up, they act like they are still together and we are tired.

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Jax's opening is coming and we are all excited that the gang is back together. This episode was worth the watch just to hear Zack call out "croc of shit boots". The confrontations of the group are great but the time jump is even better. Michelle asked for a divorce 3 days after filming wrapped, Brittany moved out of her house and into an Air bnb. Zack got a boyfriend. Kristen got lipo. I still think its a tragedy that we didn't get a reunion but so happy everyone is back except for Nia and Danny's functional marriage.

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This Big Bear trip is endless and would have been so much better with Zack and Kristen. The boys are fishing for gossip more than fish. Danny is drunker than Dorinda Medley. Janet shows up in full glam to her "surprise" baby shower. The gang heads down for naps before they need to get up for dinner. Jasmine 9th wheels it at the couple's fantasy dinner. Brittany admits she would totally divorce Jax. Jax and Jesse continue the banter of who has the worse marriage.

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Just when you think VPR is a wrap, Peacock released a secrets revealed episode. Jo and Schwartz eat unlimited breadsticks that is complimented nicely with a glass of 2023 salad dressing. Twas a good year. Scheana gets her stalking from her mama. We finally get into the real numbers of how much money it takes to run Sandoval and Ariana's mansion of hell. James spends way too much money on a box of Pasta while launching Ally's music career.

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Imagine a VPR reunion so boring that Jax and Brittany get dragged into it and they aren't even on the cast anymore. I have been a VPR fan from the beginning but it might just be time to say it's the end. James and Sandoval flex their vocabulary skills. I make Bethenny Frankel a source of my newest tangent. Scheana says she wishes Ariana would have watched all the episodes instead of clips to get the full picture of all the backstabbing that her and Lala were doing. Andy drops the bomb of showin gthe last 5 minutes of the reunion and Scheana's eyes couldn't be bigger.Ariana stays classy and Lala begrudgingly eats a Something about Her sandwich.

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Michelle "admits" the rumors that Kristen are spreading are true. Jax proves to be a real jerk. Jesse shells out marriage advice while his marriage is done. Janet loses her shit. Zach proves to be the biggest troll of all time. The way these men talk down to all of the women is disgusting but can't stop watching.

This second part of the VPR could have been an email but here we are. Happy Memorial Day and wanted to give you a little holiday treat by recapping this snoozefest of a reunion but at least there is still plenty to snark on. Something About Her is open and Ariana and Katie are ready to serve Lala a juicy sandwich filled with crow. Scheana makes everything about her...or tries to. John Mayer is getting his lawyers ready and restraining order in place. Jo is as chaotic as we expect. Ariana contines her PR tour and Brock and Lisa double as scenery.

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I still can't believe that they aren't doing a reunion for this show but whatever. Zack hates pink booties and the spy that goes with them. Janet continues to be a mean girl. Luke and Kristen basically don't talk about anything important in their relationship but want a baby. We start to see the biggest of cracks in Brittany and Jax's marriage. Danny starts to cry. Michelle hates Jesse and so much more in this episode.

The first part of the VPR reunion is here and it was just eh.

Lala is doing too much.

Brock made me tear up and then immediately regret it.

Why is Lisa there?

Sandoval tells us about his new girlfriend who totally doesnt watch VPR.

Ariana stays winning with Katie.

Lala think she ate but really her and Scheana just come off as pathetic for camera time.

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Was this a season finale or a series finale? Because I'm ok with VPR going bye bye as long as our faves make their way to The Valley. Im in moving hell but wanted to bring you on episode for the week to recap this finale apparently sponsored by Applebees. Lala and Scheana prove to still be two faced, Brock is the worst, Katie is the ultimate girls girl and Ariana just wants the new espresso martini at Applebee's.