Imagine a VPR reunion so boring that Jax and Brittany get dragged into it and they aren't even on the cast anymore. I have been a VPR fan from the beginning but it might just be time to say it's the end. James and Sandoval flex their vocabulary skills. I make Bethenny Frankel a source of my newest tangent. Scheana says she wishes Ariana would have watched all the episodes instead of clips to get the full picture of all the backstabbing that her and Lala were doing. Andy drops the bomb of showin gthe last 5 minutes of the reunion and Scheana's eyes couldn't be bigger.Ariana stays classy and Lala begrudgingly eats a Something about Her sandwich.

Follow me on all the socials @fluentinbrav

Rate and Review

Michelle "admits" the rumors that Kristen are spreading are true. Jax proves to be a real jerk. Jesse shells out marriage advice while his marriage is done. Janet loses her shit. Zach proves to be the biggest troll of all time. The way these men talk down to all of the women is disgusting but can't stop watching.

This second part of the VPR could have been an email but here we are. Happy Memorial Day and wanted to give you a little holiday treat by recapping this snoozefest of a reunion but at least there is still plenty to snark on. Something About Her is open and Ariana and Katie are ready to serve Lala a juicy sandwich filled with crow. Scheana makes everything about her...or tries to. John Mayer is getting his lawyers ready and restraining order in place. Jo is as chaotic as we expect. Ariana contines her PR tour and Brock and Lisa double as scenery.

Please rate and review.

Join our private facebook group @fluentinbravo as well as follow on all the socials

I still can't believe that they aren't doing a reunion for this show but whatever. Zack hates pink booties and the spy that goes with them. Janet continues to be a mean girl. Luke and Kristen basically don't talk about anything important in their relationship but want a baby. We start to see the biggest of cracks in Brittany and Jax's marriage. Danny starts to cry. Michelle hates Jesse and so much more in this episode.

The first part of the VPR reunion is here and it was just eh.

Lala is doing too much.

Brock made me tear up and then immediately regret it.

Why is Lisa there?

Sandoval tells us about his new girlfriend who totally doesnt watch VPR.

Ariana stays winning with Katie.

Lala think she ate but really her and Scheana just come off as pathetic for camera time.

Rate and Review and follow on all socials @fluentinbravo

Was this a season finale or a series finale? Because I'm ok with VPR going bye bye as long as our faves make their way to The Valley. Im in moving hell but wanted to bring you on episode for the week to recap this finale apparently sponsored by Applebees. Lala and Scheana prove to still be two faced, Brock is the worst, Katie is the ultimate girls girl and Ariana just wants the new espresso martini at Applebee's.

Lisa is trying to make Penny happen, and Katie and Ariana aren't looking for a threesome. Brock needs a hobby. Sandoval masters the art of opening a door and incorporating LED lights onto his stage costumes. Lala shows off her softer side by facetiming Sandoval instead of texting him to disinvite him to a party he wasn't invited to. Brock growing up Mormon unlocks a core memory for me. Dan goes all the way to San Fransisco to go on the group trip without hanging with the group. Jo does the robot. Schwartz unsuccessfully throws himself at Katie but successfully proposes to Sandoval to be his roomie. Ariana puts Brock in check and I can't stop laughing at the "musical genius" of Sandoval and Scheana talking about their soundcheck.

Follow on all platforms @fluentinbravo

The Valley is The Best Show On Bravo and if you aren't watching it I feel bad for you.

Kristen's decor is giving old school VPR shitty apartment vibes. Luke hates LA and Kristen hates Colorado so they totally should have a baby together. Jasmine and Jax go on a totally organic lunch date that wasn't set up at all by production. Jax reveals to Jasmine a rumor Kristen told him. Jax gets into a hair loss prevention partnership with a bald man. Michelle has one foot out the door and Jesse has a great idea to go on drugs to get his ego in check while sipping Champagne with the boys. Nia does all the hard labor (pun intended) in her house. Jax's bar business partner's lose Brittany's number. Janet tricks Jasmine into what was said at lunch. Jax and Jesse flirt with Burning Girl Gabby and then the episode concludes with Hallway. Screaming. Cameras. Security. Production...and Kristen FINALLY reveals the real secret that she has been protecting Michelle with.

Follow @fluentinbravo

If you don't want to hear about Phil and I deciding to divorce skip to the 12 minute mark.

Ex sur employee Jax visits James and Ally and starts in on his hatred for LVP and Katie. Stay toxic Jax. Between Brock's fashion choices and his "career" trajectory, Scheana and Brock will go to The Valley next season. Tom and Katie are post divorce goals. We get a 3 minute montage of the Toms going through a midlife crisis and Schwartz's tattoo artist hates Sandoval more than Ariana. Jax lets Lisa know what he thinks of her in words he doesn't know what they mean. Katie and Jax have a fight that is more like a tea party while Sandoval whispers sweet nothings in Hippie's ear. Scheana and Sandoval go at it by who is going to make everything more about them and the Gang heads to San Francisco next week for their cast trip.

Follow me @fluentinbravo on all socials

email:[email protected]

Join our private facebook group

The Valley is the best show Bravo has given us all year. Brittany and Jax's marriage is showing cracks. Speaking of cracks, Jesse is cracking jokes about Michelle disappearing for days with a mystery famous director. Kristen thinks she is 2 minutes pregnant and an empath. The editors do the Lord's work. Nia shares her postpartum journey. Jax turns on his leaf blower more than he turns on Brittany. I make a shocking revelation that I hate myself for regarding Jax Taylor.

Follow me on all the socials @fluentinbravo

Rate, review and subscribe

email: [email protected]