This season aired back in 2006 so the animals of Coto de Caza are no longer with us but where was Peta? Where was Vanderpump Dogs? And also where is Rob? This episode title was like a combination of a wordle and riddle with no answer.

Jeana lets us know in case we are watching this season with our eyes closed and ears covered that she doesn't believe in overparenting. Her worst work Shane gives us a lesson on biomechanics and how not to treat animals. Jo and Slade deliver us another cringe scene and Kimberly's doctor delivers her bad news. Also I cry at the end.

Tom Sandoval gets cancelled again. Give us all the Lala when it comes to her more self reflective state. Billie Lee thinks cold plunging is a spectator sport. We meet the infamous Jo and she needs to just go. Schwartz ends his day long sober curious journey. Between Scheana, Sandoval, Lala, Ariana and James the NFL should be drafting them on defense. It's a lot of Lisa but we end with a tear filled reunion of a boy and his best mate.

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Meet Slade's new assistant Megan who gets harrassed before the age of #metoo. She walked so Ann from Vanderpump can run. Lauri's life keeps throwing her more crap, so much so that she forgets to tip her uber driver. Lake Havasu makes its Housewives debut and Michael's friends have a complaint to file with Bravo HR. And the wives finally all find themselves at the same party and at the same table...don't worry. Slade couln't find a spare chair but still was able to find the camera.

Episode 3 is here and brought to you by its sponsor Scheananigans with Scheana Shay. This episode is layered with some heavy stuff but we are so excited that Lisa is opening up a new restaurant in Lake Tahoe so the gang can get together #forlisa. Schwartz gets some balls for a millisecond and Scheana breaks her neck going out of her way to run into Sandoval. You know the episode is good when we end up in the Sur Alley.

I go off on the trainwreck that is Billie Lee's new podcast so the recap starts around 8:35.

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Botox makes its Real Housewives debut. Slade thinks Jo's face is a petting zoo. Brent is playing hard to get with Slade. Lauri stays at a hotel that requires a hazmat suit. Kimberly and her brunette friend should have been cancelled even back in 2006.

We can't stop talking about Scandoval that we are all collectively over. Ann has the worst job in all of reality tv but is master of playing the ultimate telephone game from hell. Ariana may be in love with Dan, but she is so blinded by hate for Tom that she turns down a free hotel room in lieu of becoming Valley Village Head Snitch In Charge. Pump is closing and we don't care. What we do care about is where to get an ice cold Squirt. Speaking of squirt, James ends the episode pissing on Tom's bush.

We learn way too much about the ecosystem of Coto de Caza #savetherabbits. Shane took a gun safety course from Alec Baldwin. Jo attends Kimberly's orientation of the Stepford Wives. Between Slade in his underwear and an eye mask and Uncle Richie hitting on barely legal girls, its too much to take in.

Season 11 of Vanderpump Rules is here and we are so over Scandoval. Ariana is an ice queen with a cinnamon stick, Katie is a vibe with fries. We play Spot The Schwartz in his plant filled apartment. Tom's assistant has the worst job ever and Southwest is getting free advertising over and over and over again. Oh, and Scheana makes it all about her.

We venture back to 2006 and meet our first Real Housewives EVER! We have flip phones, Tuscan style kitchens, soundbites for taglines and lack of glam teams. Ahhhhhh, nostalgia. We not only meet our original five housewives: Vicki, Lauri, Jo, Jeana, and Kimberly, but we also meet (and see way too much of) our first super villain and 6th housewife Slade Smiley.