We can hardly believe it, listeners, but it's been seven years since we started this silly little podcast. And we've decided to celebrate ourselves, which is why today we're doing Podcasters! For this binge-worthy episode, we read "Knot My Type (All Access Series Book 1)" by Evie Mitchell and "The Romantic (The Vers Podcast Book 2)" by Riley Hart. Our golden-voiced hosts discuss books that don't deliver on a kink, teenage mutant ninja turtles, and when characters are so ignorant about things that it ruins the worldbuilding.

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New year, same ridiculousness. That's right, listeners, we are back on our shit with Tentacle Monsters!! We'd gotten a little too highfalutin and wanted to get back to our roots. So today we read "Tentacle Entanglement: A smutty fantasy romance" by Siggy Shade and "Tentacles and Teeth: A Consorting with Monsters Novella" by Rowan Merrick. Our many-appendaged hosts discuss the horrors of having super hearing, wiggly penis critters, and have an incredibly important (and quotable) revelation about tentacle kink.

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If a blizzard of romcoms every year have taught us anything, it's that the holidays are RIFE with romantic potential, and that's why today we're doing the holidays! For this festive episode, we read "A Mistletoe Affair (Wintersage Weddings Book 2)" by Farrah Rochon and "Mistletoe & Mishigas (Teachers in Love)" by M. A. Wardell. Our jolly hosts discuss the infallibility of polling data, when Drag Race quotes don't belong in the bedroom, and some of the best future in-laws we've ever read!

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A veritable blizzards of holiday romcoms come out every year, and among them this year was "Our Little Secret," starring one miss Lindsay Loahn. And today we're gonna talk about it! Does this movie sugar our cookies? Is it a big lump of coal? Our hosts do the hard work of watching a movie and having opinions about it so that you can help decide whether or not to make it a new holiday tradition. And if you're playing along, we tell you exactly when to pause so that you can go watch the movie before the spoilers!

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Whether your love life is a layered as a mille-feuille, your relationship is as finicky as a croquembouche, or dating has left you with a soggy bottom, we can all agree that nothing lifts the spirits like the Great British Bake-Off! And that's exactly why we're doing it today! For this sweet and savory episode we read "Bake Off at the Bennet Bakery: A Jane Austen Inspired Sweet Contemporary Romance" by V N Murray and "Mangos and Mistletoe: A Foodie Holiday Novella" by Adriana Herrera. Our handshake-hankering hosts discuss a soggy-bottomed adaptation, characters forgetting what Zoom is, and the hot new (to us) trope: magic pussy.

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Love may be as warm as soup in a bread bowl, as twisting as Lombard street, or as spontaneous as two strangers hooking up in the bathroom at The Cafe. And that's why today we're doing San Francisco! For this episode, we read "Sullivan's Woman" by Nora Roberts and "Owning Regina: Diary of my unexpected passion for another woman" by Lorelei Elstrom. For this extra foggy episode, our hosts discuss coked up seagulls, Nora Roberts feminism, and cooking and vibing to Philip Glass.

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The Ancient Greeks believed that a tiny little winged god flew around, shooting people with arrows and making them fall in love. The Ancient Greeks also believed love was a form of madness, so there we are. But that's why today we're doing Cupids! Today we read "A Little Bit Cupid (Entangled Bliss)" by Jennifer Shirk and "Blessed by the Cupid Distribution System: A Cozy and Steamy Lesbian Paranormal Romance" by Robin Jo Margaret. Our cupidinous hosts ask all the important questions: what *are* the stakes for a cupid to go on a date with a human? What did the world-saving kiss *feel* like? And why is *everyone* having sex in public?

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Are you looking for someone with the nurturing love of a Virgo? The sizzling sex appeal of a Scorpio? The Aquarius' ability to carry a pot of water? No matter what you're looking for, you'll find it in the stars and that's why today we're doing Zodiac Signs! In this celestial episode (celespisode?), we read "Taurus Untamed (Fated By Starlight Book 3)" by January Bell and "Cancer Ships Aquarius (Signs of Love Book 5)" by Anyta Sunday. Our hosts discuss vampire bugs, someone not knowing what the eggplant emoji means, and that apparently they've been playing FMK wrong this whole time.

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Life has reared her ugly head and given us all the business! We're late on getting an episode up, but this is a little update about what to expect as well as some info about a little surprise on our Patreon! So check it out!

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Love can make anyone feel like a star, but some people actually are. Which is why today we're doing Celebrity Authors!! For this famous episode we read "This Bird Has Flown: A Novel" by Susana Hoffs, and "Girls Like Girls" by Hayley Kiyoko. Our very unfamous hosts discuss the difficulties of early '00s screennames, several FMKlit firsts (sarcastic), and more editor conspiracy theories. Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/fmklitpod