Football Ranter

Football Ranter

By Football RanterComedySportsNewsSports NewsSoccer
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Football Ranter episodes

  • The Boys Are Back ... late, as tradition demands with Eggsistential Football Chat
    A-Bomb laments his limp tifo experience and longs for the return of Graham Souness armed with a shotgun. Meanwhile, Chappo discovers that Patricia is actually Karen, and learns that to truly understand England, you must first infiltrate a rural Facebook group. We dive deep into the mysteries of Hawaii, where eggs are priceless and Sarah the Egg Lady allegedly gives her chickens foot rubs. Yes, really. Naturally, there’s football talk—Liverpool get their flowers—and we try to keep up with the chaos.
    Oh, and a public service announcement: never forget—Sheffield’s women favour cherry vapes and possess ankles the size of which are the stuff of legend.
    It’s unfiltered, it’s unapologetic, and it’s all happening now. Buckle up

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    1 hr 2 min
  • The Germans Bombed Our Chip Shop and Elon Hired My Nan

    In today’s episode: A-Bomb comes clean about sneaking two young lads into the pub (allegedly for educational purposes). Chapo wrestles with his inner demons and admits—brace yourself—he kinda likes Manchester. Both lads shed a tear for poor UTDtrey, who just can't catch a break. Meanwhile, Elon Musk has big plans for X, involving… grannies?


    Elsewhere, Sheffield continues its reign as the UK’s premier baby-eating slum, the world of football gets even weirder, and Southend might just be the friendliest team on Earth (someone check on that). Oh, and Chapo’s found a delightful new murder hotel he’s dying to tell you about.


    All this and so much more, in the funniest, most unhinged podcast you didn't know you needed.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    58 min
  • Ya Greedy Bastard

    Just a quick update on the greedy Glazers and Ratcliffe, that scruffy bastard. Honestly, it’s a mess. The Glazers are still lining their pockets at the expense of the club, while Ratcliffe is playing his usual games, acting like he’s a savior while probably just out for the next big payday.


    What a circus.



    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    4 min
  • ManU's Financials the full show

    In today's show, we take a grown-up look at the state of Manchester United's finances—diving beyond the headlines to unpack the numbers, the challenges, and what it all means for the club's future.


    Are we about to see a change for the good?

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    1 hr 4 min
  • ManU's Financials: A Proper Car Crash – More Bent Than a Reliant Robin on a Bad Day!

    Today's show kicks off with a brief introduction to Manchester United's financial announcement—while A-Bomb is busy sunning his arse in the Mediterranean, and once again, Chapo is dishing out his infamous 'hawk and tun' update straight from a police car park. It's bound to be a right laugh unless you are the person with the chair to your head.






    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    9 min
  • Would You Kick a Wombat? Do Erling Haaland and His Glory-Hunting Father Have Eyebrows? And Should Kids Be Served Espresso at Parties?
    In today's show, The team dove into the ultimate debate: which Australian native animal would we take on in a brawl? A-Bomb was all in, insisting he'd swing a hammer at a funnel-web spider without batting an eye, while El-Chapo was dead set on toe-punting a wombat into submission. The hilarity didn’t stop there—our discussion veered off into the wild world of “Erling Haalans and his Glory-Hunting Father,” and Chapo lost his mind at the day rates electrician charge. Then things got really spicy when Bomb and Chapo clashed over whether kids under 10 should be served sherry or double expressos at partys, with some cheeky football banter thrown into the mix.
    It was a rollercoaster of laughs from start to finish!

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    1 hr 16 min
  • Linesmen with Guns, Kinky Keepers, Football Madness

    On today's show, we dive into some truly thought-provoking (and slightly absurd) topics: the pros and cons of linesmen carrying guns—because why not spice up those offside debates? We ask the pressing question: why did Lee Gunner really move to Spain? We also explore goalkeepers with unique names like "Kinky" (yes, that’s a real thing), and ponder whether council sports facilities should be converted into grow facilities.


    Of course, we’ve got a full roundup of all the drama, triumphs, and fiascos from the football world and lastly if you put the word "GANG" in front of a sentance why does it sounds sexual.


    Finally, we’d like to dedicate this episode to the legendary Dennis Law—a true icon of the game whose legacy continues to inspire.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    1 hr 7 min
  • Happy New Year To The RANT ARMY
    In today’s episode, we say a heartfelt thank you, champion women’s rights and equality, and dive into the pressing issue of the nation’s staggering scone consumption. We also dish out nominations for the greatest people of 2024, alongside the not-so-coveted title of Biggest C%*T of the Year. Naturally, we’ll touch on Elon—future President of Planet Earth—and round things off with Chapo’s top tips on dodging the law when it comes to steroid shenanigans and poison escapades.
    Stay tuned, it’s a wild one!

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    1 hr 22 min
  • Is this a Sheffield United podcast? I think not!
    In today’s show, we’re discussing a topic very close to our hearts: Men’s Mental Health Week. If you need someone to talk to, the Samaritans are always there—call them in the UK at 116 123 or visit samaritans.org. And remember, you can always reach out to us too. Let’s keep the conversation going.
    On a lighter note, we tackle the big questions: Should a used condom really be grounds to cancel a game? Does Chapo have a point about Steve Cooper actually looking like a policeman? Did Bandit almost off his missus by whisking her away to South Wales during Storm Burt—or, if not, what were his alternatives?
    All this and plenty more chaos on your favourite, The Football Ranter podcast!

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    1 hr 15 min
  • Are Mancunians Secretly German? And Do They Suffer from Coprophobia?

    In today’s episode, we dive into why Mancunians are suddenly considered Germans instead of their usual "bin dipper" label. Meanwhile, Chapo manages to get himself arrested (again), and Bomb discovers that referees can throw around all sorts of insults, including calling players C$%ts, without anyone batting an eye. Over in Hampshire, Southampton defenders are busy racking up red cards, which feels fitting since, let’s be real, Southampton is a shithole. And what’s the latest drama with Northern DT? Chapo morphs into a full-on tech guru, messing up the podcast by stripping out the music, then scrambling to put it back in, all while turning his mum's basement into a makeshift concert hall (we still don’t know how that’s even possible).


    Tune in for all this chaos and more on the Football Ranter Podcast!

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    1 hr 20 min

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