The experience of forgiveness is a momentary release. In reality, we don’t (and can’t) forgive forever, only for that present moment. This is both good and bad news. The good part is that we can stop judging ourselves for our inability to let go of resentments once and for all, completely and absolutely. We forgive in one moment and become resentful again in the next. It is not a failure to forgive; it is just a failure to understand impermanence. The bad news is that forgiveness is not something that we will ever be done with; it is an ongoing aspect of our lives, and thus it necessitates a vigilant practice of moment-to-moment letting go.

Although it has been over twenty years since I felt my first moment of freedom from the pains and resentments of my past, I still practice forgiveness on a daily basis. Now it is no longer a chore: it has become a simple and natural way of responding to my heart/mind when feelings of hurt, fear, injustice, or betrayal arise. I now understand that freedom from these negative feelings is not a distant goal, but is available right here in this moment. If I let go and respond with compassion and forgiveness, I will be free. If I continue to grasp at and wallow in my painful righteousness, I will continue to suffer. And of course at times I do still choose the path of suffering—but less and less. Knowing that freedom is readily available has drastically changed my life. I no longer have to tolerate unnecessary sorrow.

I share this with you to let you know that if I can do this practice, so can you.