If you can crush it at work but feel lost at home, this episode is your blueprint to restore emotional safety in marriage—fast.
Attachment specialist Adam Lane Smith joins host Greg Denning to decode why so many driven men struggle with intimacy, connection, and calm at home. You’ll learn how early attachment patterns wire your nervous system for constant cortisol and how to retrain it so your wife and kids finally feel safe with you. Adam lays out the four levels of safety every husband must provide (physical, resource, emotional, bonding) and the four levels of peace a wife can return (calm, gentle speech, loyal partnership, executive co-leadership). You’ll discover practical, science-backed tools—co-regulation, oxytocin/vasopressin bonding, and negotiation frameworks—that turn conflict into teamwork and stress into stability.
Whether you’re an entrepreneur or a busy professional, you’ll walk away with step-by-step tactics to regulate your nervous system, communicate like a CEO/COO team with your spouse, and build a legacy your kids will carry for generations. If “being present,” “bonding,” and “feeling close” have felt vague or unreachable, this conversation makes them actionable.
Key Takeaways
✅ Attachment styles significantly influence how we connect with others.
✅ Men often struggle with emotional safety due to their upbringing.
✅ Emotional safety is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships.
✅ Men must provide four levels of safety for their partners.
✅ Women need to feel safe to express their emotions and concerns.
✅ Building a legacy starts with creating a secure family environment.
✅ Personal sovereignty is essential for mature masculinity.
✅ Nervous system regulation is key to emotional health.
✅ Healthy relationships require effort and intentionality from both partners.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Attachment Theory
02:24 Understanding Attachment Styles
06:02 The Importance of Emotional Connection
09:15 Actionable Steps for Men
10:52 Four Levels of Safety for Relationships
21:48 The Role of Women in Emotional Safety
29:42 Navigating Chaos Together
30:12 The Power of Physical Connection
32:16 The Four Levels of Peace in Relationships
35:40 The Role of Fathers in Building Trust
37:20 Executive Partnership in Marriage
39:54 The Legacy of Family Dynamics
42:39 The Importance of Healthy Family Structures
44:33 The Reality of Big Families
48:49 The Path to Personal Sovereignty
58:09 Mature Masculinity and Legacy Building
Resources for Adam:
Use Code: BETHEMAN10 for 10% off!
Homepage: https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=betheman&utm_____medium=affiliate&utm_medium=affiliate
Courses:
https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm%20source=betheman&utm%20_%20_%20medium=affiliate
https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm%20source=betheman&utm%20_%20_%20medium=affiliate
https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-build-a-secure-marriage/?utm%20source=betheman&utm%20_%20_%20medium=affiliate
Coaching:
https://adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm%20source=betheman&utm%20_%20_%20medium=affiliate
https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm%20source=betheman&utm%20_%20_%20medium=affiliate
https://adamlanesmith.com/group-coaching/?utm%20source=betheman&utm%20_%20_%20medium=affiliate
RESOURCES FOR GREG:
Let me help you in your journey to becoming a more Purpose Driven Leader:
Free course! Adventuring With Your Children
Free! Greg's Recommended Reading List for Parents & Youth
Get Greg’s NEW Formidable Family Man BOOK!
Join Greg’s 90-DAY HEALTH & FITNESS CHALLENGE!
Podcast: The Formidable Family Man Podcast
Check out this podcast for families Extraordinary Family Life Podcast
Join the Formidable Family Man Masterclass and Tribe
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