Why does being chosen feel so powerful?

In Love Is Blind and Perfect Match, you can watch it happen in real time. A woman says she is casual, unbothered, just seeing where things go — and then another woman walks in and suddenly everything changes. Now she is comparing. Watching. Performing. Wondering if she is still the one he wants.

That is not just reality TV.

It is what happens when the abandonment wound convinces you that love has to be earned.

In this episode of Found at 17, Rosanna looks at what reality dating shows reveal about the fear of being replaced, the need to be chosen, and why women sometimes change themselves to keep someone interested.

She also shares what this looked like in her own life — staying too long in her first marriage because the thought of being alone felt unbearable, and then questioning the divorce because the loneliness afterward was so hard.

This episode is about the difference between being chosen and being loved well.

Because if you are more focused on whether he wants you than whether you actually want what he is offering, the wound is making the decision for you.

You do not need to become easier, less needy, more casual, more fun, or more desirable just to keep somebody interested.

Do the work. Know what you want. Know what you will not negotiate. And let the person who is right for you meet the real version of you.

In this episode: abandonment wounds, fear of being alone, reality TV dating, Love Is Blind, Perfect Match, male validation, performing for love, relationship patterns, loneliness after divorce, fear of rejection, and emotionally healthy relationships.

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Found at 17 — the podcast for everyone who was left without an explanation.

You were left without an explanation. But you were never left without a purpose. You were Found.

You did the work. You felt better. And then it came back — the same old ache, the same trigger, the same pattern you thought you'd healed. So you ask yourself: did any of it even count?

This episode is for the woman who thinks getting triggered again means she failed. It doesn't. Healing is not a straight line and it's not a destination — it's a spiral. Every time the abandonment wound resurfaces, you're not starting over. You're going deeper, with a nervous system that knows more than it did last time.

We break down why emotional healing feels like regression when it isn't, what your body is actually doing when old wounds resurface, and how to stop measuring your healing journey against a finish line that doesn't exist.

Your nervous system remembers everything your mind tried to forget. Registered Nurse and certified NET and NIS practitioner Elizabeth Craft explains exactly what Neuroemotional Technique and the Neurological Integration System do — in plain language without clinical jargon. She even works with animals — which tells you something powerful about how these modalities actually work. If you have been to every doctor and gotten no answers — this conversation might change everything.

Find Elizabeth at www. intrinsichealthsolutions.net

Email: [email protected]

Phone: (830) 446-3595

Topics: NET Neuroemotional Technique, NIS Neurological Integration System, nervous system healing, somatic healing, holistic health, emotional healing, functional health, abandonment wound.

She lived the adoptee experience first, then spent her career helping others heal it. Dr. Gina Marie Dattilo joins the show to talk about adoption trauma, the wound of being relinquished, and what it means to feel like you belong everywhere and nowhere at once.

If you were adopted — or you love someone who was — this is the language you have been looking for. You were not too sensitive. You were carrying something real, and it had a name all along.

WHERE TO FIND THIS GUEST

Website — springpsych.com

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/found-at-17/id1893791096

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4eBLOSxvR2AUF3jPrN8CDw

All Links: https://linktr.ee/unfinishedrewrite

Book a coffee chat: https://tidycal.com/foundat17

You can talk about your pain for years and still feel it living in your body. In this episode, Dr. Noah Cali explains how Neuro Emotional Technique (NET), chiropractic care, and acupuncture work with the nervous system to release what talk alone cannot reach.

If you have ever felt stuck in your healing — like your mind understands but your body never got the message — this conversation is for you. Sometimes the wound is not in the story. It is in the body still bracing for it.

WHERE TO FIND THIS GUEST

Website — fullbodynexus.com

You have talked about it. You understand it. So why does it still feel like it is living in your body?

In this episode Rosanna sits down with Kelley Smith — therapist, EMDR specialist, and nervous system nerd — to talk about the three modalities that go where talk therapy alone cannot: EMDR, Safe and Sound Protocol, and biofeedback.

If you have ever felt stuck despite doing all the right things — this conversation will change how you think about healing.

🎙️ Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/found-at-17/id1893791096

🎙️ Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4eBLOSxvR2AUF3jPrN8CDw

🔗 All links: https://linktr.ee/unfinishedrewrite

📅 Free coffee chat with Rosanna: https://tidycal.com/foundat17

Found at 17 — The podcast for everyone who was left without an explanation.

You have done the work. You have sat in the therapy chair. And something still won't let go. That is not failure — that is your nervous system holding a charge your mind never got to release.

Dr. Kendall Ahrens is a Doctor of Chiropractic, certified Neuroemotional Technique provider, and intuitive healer with over a decade of experience helping people heal what talk therapy could not reach. She was my first NET provider — and this conversation is the one that started my healing in a completely new direction.

In this episode we cover:— What Neuroemotional Technique actually is and what happens in a session— Why the body stores emotional pain long after the mind has moved on— What release actually feels like — physically and emotionally— How NET works virtually and who it is right for— What NET is not — and what people get wrong about it

If you have tried everything and still feel stuck, this episode is for you.

Find Dr. Kendall Ahrens:Website: abundantlivingchiro.comInstagram: @dr.kendallahrens

About Found at 17:Found at 17 is the podcast for everyone who was left without an explanation. We talk about abandonment wounds, adoption trauma, emotionally unavailable parents, and the relationship patterns that follow us into adulthood — and what it actually takes to heal them. Hosted by Rosanna.

Listen on Spotify | Listen on Apple Podcasts | All Links: linktr.ee/unfinishedrewriteBook a coaching conversation: tidycal.com/foundat17

You thought you had healed it. And then one ordinary moment — a text, a song, a single word — and you are right back in it.

You are not broken. You are not starting over. You just found another layer.

This bonus episode opens the Beyond Talk Series — a deep dive into why healing requires more than understanding. Today: triggers, the onion, and the wound beneath the wound.

🎙️ Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/found-at-17/id1893791096

🎙️ Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4eBLOSxvR2AUF3jPrN8CDw

🔗 All links: https://linktr.ee/unfinishedrewrite

📅 Free coffee chat with Rosanna: https://tidycal.com/foundat17

Found at 17 — The podcast for everyone who was left without an explanation.

I did not forgive my ex-husband intentionally. I just woke up one day and the charge was gone.

And the woman he had the affair with? I ran into her unexpectedly. And what came out of that conversation was not what I planned.

This episode is about what forgiveness actually looks like. Not the version we were taught. The real one — messy, unplanned, and entirely for your peace.

🎙️ Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/found-at-17/id1893791096

🎙️ Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4eBLOSxvR2AUF3jPrN8CDw

🔗 All links: https://linktr.ee/unfinishedrewrite

📅 Free coffee chat with Rosanna: https://tidycal.com/foundat17

Found at 17 — The podcast for everyone who was left without an explanation.

Nobody checked on you. Nobody brought flowers. Because the person you are grieving is still breathing.

This episode names the grief the world has no ceremony for — and finally gives you permission to feel it.

🎙️ Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/found-at-17/id1893791096🎙️ Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4eBLOSxvR2AUF3jPrN8CDw🔗 All links: https://linktr.ee/unfinishedrewrite📅 Free coffee chat with Rosanna: https://tidycal.com/foundat17

Found at 17 — The podcast for everyone who was left without an explanation.