Anyone who doesn't treat business like war will just end up getting killed. Killed in business, I mean. Although, really, probably killed in real life, too, by the greedy, bloodthirsty psychopaths who view all human endeavor as an opportunity to dominate their fellow man. #RiseAndGrindYourFaceIntoDust

Ever heard of the movie Fire and Ice? Probably not. We have plenty of silly observations about it that should satisfy you anyway. And it's probably more entertaining than actually watching the movie, anyway.

Every school child at some point learns that André Giant is the 8th Wonder of the World. But it's rare that teachers ever go over the other seven. This makes sense, considering how old and worn out those other seven are. That's why this week, we're figuring out seven wonders for the modern age. Also, Chyna is the 9th.

In an effort to give equal time to all viewpoints, we're continuing our series on medical quackery. Sure, this stuff has all been proven false beyond all doubt, and practicing anything you hear in this episode could only even charitably be described as insane, but we're going to let you do your OWN research, listeners.

You may not have known this about us, folks, but we're shark-jumpers. To a man. We've never met a shark we wouldn't jump. Now, to be fair, none of us have ever, even once, met a shark, so this has never actually come into play before. Actually, this is probably why you didn't know this about us. We're all learning things today, aren't we?

Children's television plays an important role in our society. Without it, how would parents detach themselves from responsibility? It is largely to the clowns that the credit for this necessary institution is given. It is the one and only reason we haven't launched them all into the sun.

It turns out there are countless more Mount Rushmores that we can create, and so we do. Why do they climb the mountain? Because it's there. Why do we dynamite the mountain? Because it's there. Also because of our surplus of high explosives.

Medical science hasn't always been, well, a science. For many centuries it was mostly just focused on finding different rocks to shove up people's buttholes, or figuring out new ways to expose witches. Nowadays we leave that stuff to the professionals at the chiropractic clinics.

We're making a cartoon based on Cory. It will be inspired by the Saturday morning cartoons he grew up with, which means it will NOT be a thinly-veiled 30-minute-long advertisement, it will just actually be a 30-minute-long advertisement. There was no veil, folks. The emperor had no clothes, because they were sold separately.

Has YOUR job of the future been invented yet? Actually, statistically, of course it has. What a ridiculous question. Where was I even going with this? Oh yeah, this episode is about jobs of the future.