Tang? Delicious. Moon? Sweet. Floating around and shit? Unassailably cool. PhD.-level mathematical navigational calculations? Decidedly less sweet. Astronauts are sort of a mixed bag.

Who among us can resist the siren song of three easy payments of $19.95? I would buy anything, literally anything, for that price. Seriously, ANYTHING. It does not matter how useful it is, how effective it is, or whether or not I even experience the problem it supposedly solves. I am calling now and getting my money orders ready.

We've watched several things on this podcast, but this is the first Oscar-worthy film we've covered, and certainly there could not be anything MORE Oscar-worthy. It's so Oscar-worthy, in fact, that upon viewing it, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has decided to rescind every award they've ever given, then murder the recipients. Sorry Dame Judi Dench, you're gonna be pushing up daisies because of my junior English homework.

We're updating some old episodes with new and "exciting" info! Crackers are nerfed. Ninjas would be nerfed, but they're un-nerfable.

We've all been unaware of exactly how stupid and dangerous the thing we're doing is. The purpose of adulthood is to look back and marvel at how you accidentally dodged all of the spinning saw blades and 16-ton weights that were dropped directly on you without your knowing.

We'll never forget the heroes of the Chili Department of New York. Those brave men and women took a break from going up and down fire poles all day to distribute chili to the truly needy, and for that we are forever in their debt.

This caused a minor controversy offline, so I'll just put this here to clarify it for the listener: The official spelling is Jimi Van Clapmour. There were several other ways it could have gone, but that is apparently the correct one.

Throughout our many episodes, Cory has referred to many things as being a "long con". Today we'll finally find out what the hell he means by that. And make sure you've got your notebooks handy, because we're going to give you the details about some top-shelf, USDA Choice long cons that we are pulling as we speak.

There has perhaps never been stronger evidence that we need to rethink our "No rejected topic suggestions" policy than this episode.

Once again, we put on our nerd hats and continue the adventures of Shaq, QuestWhore, and Hammer. Sorry, our nerdIER hats. Fine, our WAY nerdier hats. Okay, okay, our way nerdier CAPES.