Tools for self-management How do we stop loving too much?
We go back home to "mother!"
We get the love we did not get in our early days to avoid looking for it in the wrong places when we give to get.
We identify our behaviours, attitudes and thoughts that push us to love too much.
We access the inner parent each time we are about to act in ways where we are loving too much!
We access tools.
The SIFTSEM
Accessing your inner mother to address triggers, life questions and situations.
Sensations, Images, Feelings, Thoughts, Soothing, Endorphin Release, and Meeting Unmet Needs.
A solution-focused emotional regulation and cognitive restructuring tool for managing triggers.
1. Trigger
2. Trigger score
3. Deep breathing
4. Pretriggers
5. S...Sensations
6. I..Images
7. F. Feelings
8. T..Thoughts
9. a) Root cause- Three to Five Whys
b) Match answer with an unmet need.
Unmet needs.
Autonomy, Acceptance, Independence,
Freedom, Attention, Love,
Safety, Fun, Consistency,
Respect, Peacefulness, Predictability,
Being liked, Be needed, Being valued.
Being right, Being treated fairly, Being in control.
Feel included., To be understood, Love.
New challenges, Order, Balance.
10. M..Meeting needs
Applying the dichotomy of control
a) Immediate solutions-
Goal- Grounding
i) Soothing with five love languages and five senses. Hugs, rocking, words, calming smells,gratitude, deep breathing, Catharsis.
ii) Reframes -
1. Role Reversal
2. Thought Replacement
b) Short term solutions
Goal- Improve emotional baseline. Minimise risk of triggers and reduce impact.
i. Love on three levels -
You. Daily self-care with SIFTSEM to minimise and prevent triggers.
Immediate circle.
Greater good.
ii) Situation specific solutions.
c) Long term
Goal - Eliminate and minimise triggers or reduce impact.
i. Sustainability of routine and embedding tools in daily life.
1. Consistency with Love on three levels and self-care
2. Evaluate short term goals
11. Endorphin/ Cathartic shake
12. Trigger score
13. Journal